Monday, August 3, 2020

This Helplessness Feeling has to Stop

It's been a very stressful two weeks for me. I feel frustrated I'm not able to provide the best care for my Mom and son since they are back home. The exponential growth in cases has been gnawing on me and I've been constantly worried. The stress and the haze has triggered my asthma, leaving me without proper sleep. I don't want to end up broken again.

I know like me everyone probably feels helpless. We are all counting on someone to lead us to safety. Our neighbors in Southeast Asia are doing much better now (i.e. Thailand, Vietnam etc.). What did they do right? What did their government do right? I don't bother to watch the midnight shows because  it will just stress me more. I just wait until I see a summary and then I take action to prepare my family. I still feel helpless though because I can do what I can to protect my family, but my family extends to my immediate community.

Everyday is a new day to start new.

The stress has been affecting my health and this eventually affects everything else. I haven't been as productive as I want to be in the last few days. We managed to go to the park, but that was the only thing I did last weekend. The rest of the weekend I was just lying down because I couldn't breathe. I have a close friend who is also feeling the same.

I'm telling myself now, "This has to stop."

So I thought I'd put together an action list to stop myself from spiralling down into brokenness. I will not allow the virus to defeat my spirit. Period.

1. Put my households in order - masks, shields, groceries, alcohol. Check.
2. Make a list of emergency numbers - hospitals/doctors, close family and friends.
3. Ensure family members stay home and be healthy.
4. Check on extended family members and friends.
5. Check if there's anything in your immediate community you can help with.

Note to Self: you led crisis response efforts for a decade and you only retired because of your health. You're only managing your immediate family through this crisis and your immediate work advocacy is for education. Focus! Do not be defeated!

What about you? How are you holding up?

CB//118 #StuckAtHomeDay/148 #StayHome #BeKind

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