I started writing when I was 8. My mom got me a journal where I could rant (prob so I won't be an annoying brat). I stopped writing for 8 years until the pen and then later on the keyboard called on me again. I blog because I like writing and that's just about it. Hope you get inspired though... Bite the apple!
Oh wow, January just flew by! With everything that's happening, January felt more like the end of the year already! Like most people, I had nice plans for this year. Everything was thrown out the window again when the surge happened. I've been stuck at home all month and I don't even remember the last time I stepped outside of our gate. The boys have been doing a good job making sure I'm safe.
Learning also from what happened last year, I'm just going to play things by ear. Here's what I hope to do to make February a better month:
1. Take care of my health better. Hope to end this on and off slight fever. Took the first step and got a blood test today. I'm running out of meds too, so this means I need to contact and see my doctors here soon.
2. Proceed with things I can control. Need to get things going with developing our home. Since plan A didn't work, we're gearing up to proceed with plan B. This goes also for a couple of requirements that need to be fulfilled like getting my car registered.
3. Accept that I need help to do some things. SOS on the way. It just pains me I can't do the things I want to do.
4. Reduce stress triggers. Much as I love to participate in what's happening now, it's just stressing me out and that's affected my health.
5. Find other happy things to do! Or at least make what I'm doing now work better, i.e. move my sprouts to a place where they can get more sun.
6. Sleep earlier, wake up earlier. I haven't been able to resolve this and my Mom told me it's been almost 3 months now since I got home. Hope to fix this soon.
7. Eat better, exercise more. Fitbit told me I get more deep sleep when I do more than 2k steps per day. I'll start there.
Keeping the list short for now. Better to just target things I can really work on for now so I don't get overwhelmed.
I haven't gone out for almost a month now and it's starting to drive me crazy! My activities have been limited also since I've been having slight fever on and off. I'm getting a blood test tomorrow to determine if I have an infection. To keep busy I water the plants and have started a new quilt project. Well, like many others, I've been scouring through old photos to remind myself of life before the pandemic.
One of my wishes is to visit again some of the places I've been to. I never really had the chance to explore most of it because I was busy with work. Here are a few of the places I want to visit again:
Yeosu-si, Korea - getting there was an adventure in itself. It's a a city located in the southern coast of the Korean Peninsula. I was luckily upgraded to a suite because I could smell smoke coming from another room and it caused a severe asthma attack. The reward was a beautiful view of the bay. My colleague said it was a fishing town and it reminded me of our hometown, Pasacao in Camarines Sur. (more here)
Switzerland - I had a chance to go see the Swiss Alps, but my doctor prohibited me because it was too cold. He was right because there was a cold snap when we went to Zurich. I'd love to see more of Zurich though because they have beautiful places to see. I was only able to see the river once because it was too cold. Maybe I'll get to visit again someday. (How I survived -6'C).
London, UK - I've been to London twice, but I didn't get to go around also. The cold really gets to me. I was only able to walk to Buckingham Palace because it was near my hotel and that was all I got to do, haha. So I must visit London again someday. (snippets)
New Zealand - I was in NZ for less than 48 hours for an event and meetings. I didn't get to go around and was only able to visit Spotlight (priorities, hello!), haha. I'd love to explore this country more someday.
Australia - I've been to Australia several times and got to visit Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane. We were able to do a day cruise thanks to Tita Chu. I've also been able to eat in some nice places, also thanks to Tita Chu. I'd love to see more of this country though and hopefully meet my cousin's super cute baby. (Australia posts)
Taiwan - I've visited Taiwan a lot and I've been to several provinces also, but believe or not I have done what tourists do! It was all work, work, work. I only managed to go to the night market, thanks to Shin Yee. Sigh, would love to see more of the country. (Taiwan posts)
Japan - I think everyone can agree that Japan is one of the places we'd all love to explore. I even tried to learn the language! Hope to be able to explore this beautiful country again and see Tita Pet, Uncle Fumio and my cousins again. (Japan posts)
Since it's impossible to travel for now, I'll probably look for some places we can visit nearby. Hopefully, with the cases going down we can eventually go out and explore. What about you? Where do you want to go?
"Boba" refers to the pearls you put in milk tea. In Filipino we normally call it "sago". We don't normally use the term "boba" to refer to the pearls because it means "dumb" in Filipino. I noticed most milk tea shops here use the term "bubble tea" than boba tea hehe.
I've been so morose the last few days I thought I'd look back at the time before all our lives changed. One of the things we were able to do was visit the Bubble Tea Factory in Singapore. I blogged about it a bit before, but I think I have better appreciation now of that day we went to see the exhibit. 2019 seems so far away, but looking at how carefree we were going around made me miss the pre-pandemic days more.
Here's more photos from that day we visited the Bubble Tea Factory -
I love milk tea! I prefer to drink it without pearls though (they said that's where the calories are). What I miss most in SG is Toast Box teh peng. Well, my seatmate, David, would be happy to know, I've managed to reduce drinking milk tea to just once a week now. I only drink an extra cup if there's an emergency. LOL.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau said that "human nature is essentially good".
I went to sleep last night with a bad taste in my mouth. I had just seen a post promoting a candidate's virtual session. There's nothing wrong about promoting an event, but this one was really unethical. It was done on a city mayor's page and the official public information page of the city. Of course, the admin immediately deleted the posts, but the damage was done already. It disappointed me a lot because I really appreciated the efforts of my city government to provide updates. Now I'm questioning whether they should be trusted.
It's not new to me. I've had a lot of firsthand bad experiences. I even picked up a call that was a death threat for my Dad when he and Tito Ed were cleaning up PNCC. I was in high school then and we were immediately sent away. The first time I asked about corruption was in sixth grade. I asked my parents how come a classmate was getting PhP200 as her daily allowance and I was just getting PhP5. When I grew up I saw the grown-up version, even in other countries.
It always makes my stomach churn whenever I encounter these things. My Dad though taught us to do what's right. I remember asking my Kuya during our last Japanese buffet dinner before the pandemic, "How come I always encounter these things?" He said it happens because Papa God knows I can help make things right. While some would be skittish about righting things I always pushed to make things right even though it oftentimes got me in trouble. That was the only way to stop my stomach from churning.
The election fever is upon us. I realized last night that I probably need to lay off from reading too much stuff online. It's giving me a lot of stress and has been affecting my health. I also realized there's so much fake news and it's adding to unwanted stress.
Some of the purveyors of fake news and trolls are probably in it because of need. I do hope and pray that they realize that what they are doing is wrong. There are other means to earn a living. And for the mastermind to grow a conscience. What good is power if you acquire it in the wrong manner? What good is wealth if you steal it? What good does it do if you don't have peace in your heart? And for the fanatics, what good does it do for you to support someone who doesn't have a conscience?
I taught for a term in 2008. I was friendly to my students, but I was strict. I was tasked to teach the last class before thesis. Knowing that my students would soon join the workforce, I thought the best thing I could teach them was to always set the bar high. I pushed them to the limit by having them experience work life. I was also tasked by the university to integrate the use of GSuite (called Google Apps back then) in class. This meant I had to be unconventional in the way I taught.
I probably shocked the students, but they told me later on that they appreciated the way I taught. Most of them ended up in digital marketing. Some came to me begging to increase their grades, but I said no. I explained to them that grades are meant to recognize the efforts you gave as a student to learn and if you got a lower grade than expected, then that meant there are things you need to improve on.
Set the bar high with anything you do. Don't settle for less because you'll just end up disappointed. Through the years I learned to be more selective and discriminating. When making decisions, it's important to set a clear goal and determine your targets. Don't rush into things. Stick to your values and make sure your decisions would reach or exceed your goal.
I thought about this point after watching the Jessica Soho interview. I've also started going through the interviews of Boy Abunda. I think one thing we also need to do as we choose leaders is to set the bar high. If we had better leaders the response to the pandemic would've been better, we wouldn't have been deep in debt, the budget would have been put to better use and not just go to corruption etc. We're all disappointed and that's happened because the bar was set so low.
For myself, I'll make sure to keep the bar high and I hope you do the same.
Woke up with a slight fever again. Grrrrr! I don't feel unwell though, just warm. This means I need to adjust my day again. I was planning to start working on my tshirt quilt blanket. It's been waiting to be worked on for 3 years now!
I started cutting shirts when I was on break in late 2019. Brought back the shirts in Singapore and thought I'd be able to work on it. Nope, got busy with work and then I focused on finishing other quilt projects first. Thought I'd be able to start working on it during quarantine, but I ended up just sleeping during the six days we were stuck in a hotel, haha. By now, the project has been through six "homes" - previous home in Paranaque, 2nd to the last flat in SG, last flat in SG, quarantine hotel, back to previous home in Paranaque and now new home. It's one well traveled project!
Now the old tshirts I cut up are finally on my makeshift sewing table. I did some planning the other night with Miggy. I normally get his help to match colors. We decided to use denim for the borders since I'm using tshirts. It should make it look more cohesive that way.
I collected all the shirts I got since 2006. They are all precious to me and hold so many memories. I could probably tell a story out of each tshirt. Most though don't fit me anymore. I'm only able to wear now the recent ones I got. I'm quite sentimental so I thought I'd preserve the shirts by making a blanket. I hope it turns out okay.
Not to worry about the retaso from the shirts. I gave it to my Mom and she's created stuff out of it. She's really more creative than me. It will take awhile to finish this quilt project since some additional steps have to be done to stabilize the fabric. I can go on and on about it, but I'll just make a video sa takdang panahon haha. I hope it doesn't take me two years to finish!
While the cats are away, the mouse will play! Haha.
We've been avidly watching vlogs of foreigners living in the Philippines. There's Becoming Filipino, Kumander Daot, Finnsnow and the Eight Miles from Home. I think we started watching their journey in late 2020//early 2021. It's been fun seeing them experience life in the Philippines. They've experienced the good and the bad, but what struck me is how much love they're giving back to the country.
The vloggers all live in Visayas and Mindanao and they were all affected by Typhoon Odette. They've been sharing what's happened on ground and have been extending help as well. Kulas and Anselm traveled to Dinagat Islands and you could really see the devastation, more than what's normally seen in the news. The British family of Eight Miles from Home, despite having the means to leave Siargao, decided to stay and help.
When you watch the vlogs, you could feel how much they love our country. They're showing it by helping where they can. What I appreciate also is seeing how the local communities work together. Normally it's just mentioned in the news how the AFP, DSWD, DOH, barangays etc. work together. I got better appreciation on how things are done on ground from the vlogs.
I also learned from them that the key to rebuilding and healing communities who go through disaster is love. Jay of Eight Miles from Home mentioned in one of his vlogs that the local community would come together and rebuild the house of each other at no cost. He said if it happened in the UK, you'd have to get a contractor to fix things for you. Finn also had the same observation.
One common thing they all mentioned is seeing "Filipino resilience" in action. Jay mentioned in their vlog that it's probably a good lesson for Story to learn about it as well. I guess we naturally learned it because we all experience typhoons (so don't coddle your kids!). We naturally help each other because of love. And that's what probably what makes up Filipino resilience which we are known for (I wrote about it here).
Having a disability is really hard, moreso if it's invisible. My lungs were impaired by several illnesses. This limits my activities a lot and I immediately get sick when I overexert. The second pulmonary embolism I had last year really did a huge job on me. It forced me to retire.
Most patients like me don't really get the understanding we need. I was once with my team in Sydney and we had to walk from the office to the restaurant for dinner. It was cold and the short walk was uphill. I walked very slow because I was having a hard time breathing from the effort and the cold. My teammates tried to stay with me, but I was soon left alone to fend for myself. It took awhile because I had to make a lot of stops, but I eventually made it to the restaurant. I soon left after eating because I was so tired.
That happened several more times and I even experienced people laughing at me because I walked so slow. I eventually asked permission to work from home twice a week. The government work from home order was a huge relief for me because it reduced the guilt I felt from working from home. I became more productive, but the stress and a viral infection I picked up randomly made me ill. My doctor eventually declared I was disabled and recommended I retire.
Having a disability is hard, whether it's physical, mental or an invisible illness that causes impairment. I decided to write about my disability to support the ASEAN Disability Forum. I have been able to cope with my disability with the help of family and friends, but there are many others struggling. I hope governments would implement the masterplan to make communities more inclusive for the disabled.
A basic program the Philippine government I can think of is making sure that places for public transportation would be easy to maneuver. One example is the MRT and LRT where the elevators are always broken. If they can't provide ramps, they should at least make elevators and escalators work. You can also learn more about what other countries are doing from the ASEAN Disability Forum FB page (https://www.facebook.com/ASEC2025/).
Let's hope and pray for a more inclusive community for everyone. Dear presidential candidates, bekenemen...
Watched the Jessica Soho's interview of presidential candidates last night. It was interesting to watch and gave me a better idea of plans and thoughts of the candidates. Every election is important because it makes and breaks a country. It's not just about addressing local level needs, but also managing how other countries perceive us. Majority of the issues that were tackled were for domestic needs.
Have the skills and network to appoint the right persons in office.
Lacson - he was PNP chief during the Estrada administration, a senator and has served the cabinet. He has a very long list of senate bills filed. His vast experience showed during the interview. I'd like to believe he has a good understanding of how things work and would have good credible contacts by now -- just hopefully not all military men!
Moreno - Isko's political career has mostly been in the local level although he mentioned that he served as DSWD undersecretary for a few months. I did not get a good impression that he has a good grasp on how things run in the national level. Local programs aren't necessarily scalable.
Pacquiao - his sincerity shown through, but I think where he's good at is helping people not running a nation.
Robredo - among the four candidates, she was the one who was able to show that she's been doing things already. Getting an ISO certification is no easy feat. With the many volunteers she's been able to encourage, I think she'd also be able to recruit and appoint the best persons in office.
Good understanding of what the country needs in terms of security.
Lacson - I think among all the candidates he has the most knowledge when it comes to the military. I have no doubt he'd be able to keep the country secure. My question though is, will he be able to develop the relations with other countries to help with the territory issues?
Moreno - he wasn't able to protect the beach in Manila Bay from dolomite, what more about our national security?
Pacquiao - sorry, but I cannot imagine him sitting down with other heads of state to talk about territorial matters. As I mentioned, I think his best asset is his heart in helping people.
Robredo - she is going to push for the recognition of the ruling on WPS. I could see that she's going to be firm on it and won't back down from China.
Will not abuse the ability to suspend the writ of habeas corpus.
Lacson - with the Dacer-Corbito case, Mr. Lacson had been a fugitive for 15 months. It's worse than showing up in court with a neck brace. If he was truly innocent, why did he run away?
Moreno - Isko gave me the impression he'd shadow the things the other mayor who became president did.
Pacquiao - what I'm afraid of with Manny is he'll be used by his "friends".
Robredo - I do not think she'd abuse this power.
Good money manager.
Lacson - he has an anti-pork advocacy and from the interview showed he hates corruption. I think he'd be able to manage the budget well as long as he's able to get a good DBM secretary like Butch Abad.
Moreno - so far he's been able to utilize his city's budget very well, BUT, I'm baffled about how the campaign donations ended up with him? Wasn't that supposed to go to the party? Correct me if I'm wrong..
Pacquiao - I've heard of his legendary bayong-bayong na pera pinamimigay. Not so sure about him managing the nation's money.
Robredo - as VP, she's only had a meager budget, but she's been able to utilize it for good. Just compare her health packs vs. the DOH's.
I just listed out some general guidelines from the 1987 Constitution. It's the job description for a president. I was a program manager for a very long time and being process oriented is important to me, so I looked at that also. I was also a community manager for a long time and I think at this time it's important to get help from volunteers, so I also looked at the ability to enable change.
And as for the one who did not show up in the interview, why consider someone who can't be bothered to show the electorate his plans and platforms? Oh, but I never really considered him anyway.
Go watch the show and keep an open mind. I thought to break down my thoughts based on the JD since it was a job interview after all.
It's been more than a decade since I last cooked Spanish adobo. The last time I cooked it was for our Christmas family reunion in 2010. I remember because Tito Mon requested it. He super loved it and set aside half of what I cooked for the reunion (he didn't want to share). I didn't get to make it again because dalandan is not available in SG (afaik or I just dunno where to get).*
I learned this recipe from a TV show. It was KC Concepcion who showed how to make it (must have been Kris Aquino's morning show). I've since modified the recipe based on taste. Here's a short vid on how I made it -
There's an alien plant in my lettuce pot! The plant just grew overnight in the big wave lettuce pot. I've been trying to identify it using Google Lens, but it's been giving different results everyday. I guess I'll wait a few more days so I could identify it better.
Banana? Curry? Moringa? Tamarind? Hopefully not an invasive plant.
Just like other aliens in my life, I have to decide whether I should keep it in the same pot, separate it or discard it. This will probably depend on what kind of plant it is. Whether it's ornamental or a veggie and hopefully not an invasive plant. My Mom would probably not think twice and just pull it out, haha. I've been a bit bored the past few days since I've been forced to rest, so forgive me for overthinking this.
A Mom-friend pinged me yesterday to ask how I was doing. She reminded me to just chill and let the boys do heavy stuff. I told her I miss our cleaner in SG who came in once a week to clean for us. She said I could probably do it again once things get better. Keep your home happy not clean. That advise made me smile because I'm okay with the house being messy, but I get anxious when it becomes dusty. Anyway, she was yesterday's guardian angel. Thank you Tita Dine :)
I probably need to do better at staying put. Just chilling is an alien concept to me. Whenever I watch TV, I'm usually multi-tasking. I normally sew. Sweetie told me yesterday to just rest while watching TV. It was hard and to calm myself down I put my planner on my lap. I just made a list of things I need. I eventually managed to just watch TV. With practice I'll get better at this.
Happy weekend everyone! Double mask to stay safe :)
I haven't stepped out for over two weeks now, so when I started feeling unwell on Monday I said maybe it was because I overexerted myself. I mopped the living room and kitchen floors. I like doing it because it gives me a good workout and is the best sweat-inducing chore. It's probably too much for me because my whole body ached until the next day.
Strangely I started having slight fever. I reduced my activities, drank more water and used EOs. It helped, but the fever kept coming back. The ABS-CBN Foundation Benefit Concerts kept me company while resting in the sala. We monitored my temperature closely and it's always a bit elevated. I didn't really experience any other unusual symptom.
When I woke up I told Sweetie it's probably better to do a swab, just to be sure. I had a similar incident back in September before I had a biopsy. The hospital tested me also, but the doctor said that it was unlikely I was infected since I didn't have any exposure (I was also just staying home all the time). Anyway, the CDC said to treat any symptom as COVID-19 and to test to know. So I did a swab and as expected it was negative.
The boys have been fussing over me since it's unusual that I've been feeling extra unwell. My rheumatologist explained to me that the ESR in my blood has been constantly elevated for three years now. It's an indicator of an inflammation or infection. Whatever it is remains a mystery. I think maybe the slight fever is a manifestation of PTSD (it was triggered over the weekend) and the sadness of losing a good friend.
Well, it is what it is, I found some Biogesic in my suitcase. Hopefully that would put an end to it. If needed, I'll go see a doctor (or teleconsult). It's truly a miracle I've lasted more than two months without seeing a doctor. I shall go celebrate and eat some maki.
On a happy note, my plants have finally started sprouting! Except Cucumartin! Gaaaah. But happy to see progress. Woot!
*It would be really useful if self-testing kits are made available for everyone. I still don't understand why Watson's requires a prescription to purchase. In Singapore they provided kits for all households and you can easily buy at the pharmacy. My friends who need to go to the office use it every Sunday night to test.
I feel defeated. This pandemic just doesn't know when it should stop. I've been feeling unwell the past few days because I overexerted myself (a.k.a. I mopped the floor). I was settling down to sleep when I chances upon a post. I thought it was just someone trying to be funny, but after some investigation I realized a good friend just passed away.
It was so unexpected and felt like someone punched me. It was the same feeling I had when I lost Juned.
Eugene was a colleague turned close friend when we were working for EYP. I was a young product manager then given the additional task to make sure EYP delivered revenue. Eug was one of the 15 people I hired to do sales. He was one of those who believed I could deliver the herculean task. With his support we cracked the code to generate revenue for EYP.
For many months we spent time saturating Intramuros and Malate. After work we'd unwind with the while team in Malate. It was always videoke night for us and that's how I got to know Eug more. We were complete opposites. He was funny, pilyo, easy going and chill. At that time everyone saw me as an ice queen, but Eug managed to see through it and that's how we became friends. We usually talked about our kids. The best support he gave me though was seeing me through a breakup. He absolutely hated my ex.
Through the years though it was hard to bring the gang together again. We kept in touch online and the last time we chatted was last year. He asked me why I was in the hospital again. We updated each other about our kids and reminisced about those times we spent in Malate. I told him I didn't have clotting issues back then because we regularly drank!
Fwend, I didn't expect you'd be gone so soon. Thought we'd still have time to update each other about Hope, Miggy and my inaanak. Mahilig ka talaga manggulat noh? Rest in peace my friend, please say hi to all my loved ones up there.
Our neighborhood continues to be eerily quiet. It's always been quiet, but I usually hear more planes pass by and schoolbuses dropping off kids (plus Miggy when he was younger). In the mornings, I'd hear Mang Jabar, our favorite taho vendor, shout out "Tahooooo!". There would also be the sound of horns from the manong who picks up trash for composting. There would also be sounds from the walis tingting sweeping front yards during early mornings. Of course, there was also the wake up call of chickens and dogs barking.
The only sound I regularly hear now is the rustling of the bamboo leaves from our garden. Even the sound of sirens have lessened (which is a good indicator there are less emergencies). I guess my neighbors are all staying home and keeping safe just like us. Well, if you're interested to be my neighbor, the house in front of us is for sale (needs renovating though). Anyway, I noticed how quiet it was again when I watered the plants earlier.
Speaking of plants, we decided to try something new -- hydrophonics! Sweetie successfully grew basil in water when we were in Singapore. We've been frustrated with buying lettuce lately. It's either not available in supermarkets or full of insects. It's ruining our healthy eating plans, so we thought we should grow some. After scouring Lazada and Shopee, I found a starter kit that seemed easy to follow.
We started the process last Friday. Waited three days and opened the container where we put the rockwool with seeds. They sprouted! (Faster than the ones I planted in soil!). Woohoo! We transferred them last night and it's sitting nicely in the kitchen for now. We're hopeful it will provide us with lettuce and mustasa. If we're successful then maybe we'll add more kits so we can provide veggies for Mom too.
In early 2003, I had a debilitating illness. For many days I had very high fever, experienced chills and had muscle pains. Everything was just dark for me and the only people I would hear come in to check on me was a doctor and my Dad.
The doctor advised not to bring me to a hospital because I might spread the virus. I heard her say, "Yan na yun." I had no idea what it was that afflicted me, but later on found out that my BIL who had just visited us from the US tested positive for SARS.
My doctors in Singapore wanted to figure out what caused the scars in my lungs. They required me to list down everything my lungs have been through. There were two major incidents: (1) The strange illness in 2003, and (2) Pneumonia in 2008 which caused heart failure. They wanted to review the tests and previous xrays, but unfortunately everything was destroyed by Typhoon Ondoy.
For both illnesses, I never found out what virus/bacteria caused it. Second opinion doctors who reviewed my case confirmed that the lung scars would have been caused by previous illnesses. My heart surgeon noted in his operation report that my lungs looked liked it had previous surgery already. I never had surgery prior to OHS.
VQ scan, one of the many tests I went through. The medtech said sorry and good luck to me when we finished the two day test.
I'm sharing this because I see some friends who posted on their timeline that they are afraid to get tested. They said that they'll just "definitely get it" from getting swabbed. Some just also assumed that they have it. Looking back at what I've been through, I wish I had known. I wish we were able to address the issues better. We could have prevented or reduced the lung scarring and the issues that developed many years after.
Get tested because it's better to know what you're up against. In late 2019, I was infected again by an unknown virus. It wasn't the coronavirus, but probably a different one according to my doctor. Two months after that I had another pulmonary embolism. My doctors did everything they could to make me well. For many months I experienced shortness of breath, fatigue and brain fog. I probably got it worse because I have an underlying heart condition. I am seeing friends post about experiencing the same thing.
Get tested. Consult a doctor. Do exercises to prevent lung scarring. Don't just go "business as usual". You'll thank me 15 years from now.
One thing I look forward to doing everyday is watering the plants. It's the time of the day where I get some sunshine. I usually try to do it around 4:30 in the afternoon when it's not too hot anymore. I've been doing this since we moved and noticed I'm not paper white anymore! Haha!
Getting some sun back in 2017 at Nami Island, South Korea.
The sunshine has also helped me resolve my vitamin D deficiency. I was experiencing a lot of body pain and joint pain. A roller coaster ride of tests led me to a rheumatologist. He had to review whether I had an autoimmune disease. Luckily I don't, but he found out I was severely vitamin D deficient. I'm supposed to take 50,000 IU of vitamin D3 every week for four months.
Two months in this was reduced to 25,000 since I showed symptoms of toxicity. I emailed my doctor in SG when this happened. Good thing he responded immediately and advised to reduce the dosage. My rheumatologist was the "last stop" I made to determine what caused my clots. He had a huge headache after going through all my files. He told me that he'd try his best to end the investigation. He also explained that sometimes there are just mysteries that never get resolved.
Flexing my zipper* in Boracay, 2014.
By the time I had gone to the rheumatologist I had gone through many tests. I had also seen many other specialists. I had already accepted that my clotting issue would remain a mystery. I was not surprised anymore when the doctor told me I didn't have an autoimmune disease. I'm just grateful that my prescription was to take vitamins and get more sun!
The sun provides us a lot of benefits and it's for free! The sun helps with vitamin D which contributes to better immunity. It also helps with your mental health because it's a mood booster. This is probably my Mom's secret. She gardens twice a day. That's probably how she's remained strong and permanently in a good mood.
Thank you Papa God for always providing us with good sunshine everyday! :)
I've been home for more than two months now and I haven't physically visited a mall or grocery. I haven't eaten out and have not seen any of my favorite places. I've been purchasing all our needs online. Of course, nothing is perfect and even though I read reviews and buy from preferred local sellers I still encounter rotten eggs. I oftentimes don't dispute bad items if it's salvageable, but I do submit reviews for most of my purchases (mainly so I'd remember which ones are good).
Definitely not plus sized.
Don't Buy Clothes Online Unless It's Branded
I recently encountered the worst seller. When I got the item I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I normally don't purchase clothing online since it's a miss more often than not. I needed to replace some of Miggy's clothes though and my attempts to buy via SM did not work out. It took me several days to find a shop to order. I ordered three plus sized shorts, but received 2 pairs of shorts that won't even fit me and a blouse. Whuttttt. The most annoying thing is Shopee rejected my refund, so now I have to report it to DTI. Well, I disputed it again last night so I'm giving them a day or two before I report to DTI.
Bubblewrapped, but Warped
It's abhorrent how sellers go overboard with bubble wrap. I understand they're just making sure that the item doesn't get damaged. I've had to get help from Sweetie and Miggy to unwrap packages because of the crazy way sellers wrap items. The other day I ordered some pots and a seedling tray. The seller wrapped the tray around the pots. This caused the tray to warp. I'm still trying to straighten out the tray, but I don't think it's going to be useful. Good thing I only ordered one.
Most are Mini
Usually sellers try to make items look bigger. I normally buy toilet paper from the supermarket, but thought I'd try to buy in bulk. I take pains to read product details and reviews, but should have known that most of those who submit reviews just do it for the coins. Anyway, so I ordered toilet paper and facial tissue and was surprised that they were tiny! Pang tiny home living ganern??? This also happened for some kitchen items. Eye-roll.
Reality vs. Expectation
I ordered desiccant last month. I expected the whole package to be dry as a desert since that's what desiccants do. I was wrong. The items in the package were wet and after some investigation I found out that the desiccant was wet. It was sticky and caused my hands to itch. We threw out the desiccant since we thought it was unsafe to use.
PII of Hospital Patients!
I've been ordering all of my garden needs online. I found this shop that sells nice terracotta clay pots. I've ordered twice from them. Since the pots are very heavy, Sweetie usually unboxes it for me. The pots were wrapped with filled-out health declaration forms and photocopies of IDs of patients from a hospital in Novaliches. This is really bad and I have sent info to the National Privacy Commission about it.
I have also encountered some sellers who fail to send all the items I ordered. This is usually the easiest to resolve and I've been able to get a refund for missing items. Just make sure to check the items before clicking "order received".
I treat buying online as an adventure. The local landscape is very different from Singapore. My rule of thumb is, "You get what you pay for, so be forgiving." It's very hard though to determine which shops are reliable, but that's what the "preferred" stamp could help you with. I'm currently on a hiatus from purchasing items online to reduce interaction. Going to miss our friendly delivery riders for now.
I'm breaking the routine I have settled on this past week. I wake up, eat breakfast, drink my meds, check on the bell peppers, blog, prepare for lunch, water the plants then I settle in front of the sewing machine. I haven't been able to do anything else and realize I need to break the routine. I got so absorbed trying to finish the curtains I ended up setting aside all the other things I need to do.
Settling in a routine is dangerous. If you stick to one too much it can stunt your growth. In my case, it left my other tasks in disarray. It's physically manifested with the mess I have behind my dining room chair, haha. I realized this last night and told myself I will break my routine today.
Why is settling on a routine not good? Dr. Joe Dispenza who wrote "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" explained the science behind getting stuck in routines. He said that if you keep doing or acting the same way it puts your body in a stale state also. He proved this when he had an accident that left him paralyzed. He used his mind to heal his back. I'm probably not doing a good job explaining it, best to watch this video of Dr. Joe Dispenza -
"Your personality creates your personal reality" according to Dr. Joe Dispenza. So if you want to reach a goal or be something else then you have to create that future in your mind. Aside from working hard to reach a goal, you have to act like you have already reached that goal.
Looking back when I was 17 and just had Miggy, Ate's HS classmate who went through the same thing told me that things would be so different in 10 years. Something clicked in my mind then and I imagined what we would be in 10 years. I created a future in my mind where I was in a stable job and Miggy was in school. I focused on that reality and what I painted in my mind did happen.
And that's what I did last year when I was very, very sick. I knew part of the healing process required me to break my habits. It forced me to create a different reality. I wanted and needed to have my family physically together and I always dreamed of having a permanent home. It required a huge change for all of us, but because I kept working on creating that future in mind things just fell into place.
So now that I have attained some of my goals, I have to work on my other goals. I have a picture in my mind where I'm able to bike around our village. I'm still hopeful and have faith that I could fully heal.
I have a number of friends who are infected right now. Some have been complaining that they still experience shortness of breath even after testing negative. It is not surprising since the virus is a respiratory illness. The bad thing about it is it can cause lasting lung damage (read more here).
My lungs were scarred when I had pneumonia in 2008. It was what caused me to have asthma and severe allergies. I worked hard to get over some of my allergy triggers -- chicken, Coca-cola, and chocolates (yes!). I just kept eating the 3 Cs until I rebuilt my immunity. Just can't live without chicken, Coke and chocolates! I never got over the fourth C -- cockroaches. Even just the smell of roaches trigger my asthma. My asthma attacks were always mild and I was able to manage it very well.
Things got worse when I had pulmonary embolism in 2018. Cause is still unknown. I had a second attack a year ago. Do know that COVID-19 can cause PEs too, that's why it's important to have your lungs checked and monitored post infection. Experiencing shortness of breath may be an indication of lung damage, so make sure you have it checked.
I think my second PE was caused by the viral infection I had in October 2019. My health declined after I had it. My doctors said it wasn't the coronavirus that caused it. Whatever it was it affected my lungs because I gasped for air. Two months after I had another PE. I lived through it because my respiratory doctor followed his instincts and ordered a CT scan.
Living with lung damage isn't easy. What has helped me a lot is consistently doing wall-pushups everyday. I started with 3 at the hospital and slowly worked my way up. I do 3 reps of 10 now. I do deep breathing while doing it. So far it's helped expand my lungs, keep my arm pain at bay and it helps keep my core firm (no more back pain!). I integrated the exercise to my coffee routine so I don't forget.
I've been nagging my friends to do wall push-ups. I hope they do it since I believe it would help their lungs recover post infection. Of course, do check with your doctor first. :)
I wanted a pink parol, but I couldn't find any. We have a huge window that can be seen from the street, so I thought I'd just make a statement curtain. I found a cute pink fabric online and ordered 11 yards of it. The fabric actually reminds me of a pink suit I had many years ago. I think the fabric I got is normally used for clothing haha.
My very pink curtain :D
This year honestly feels like 2020. That year started with the eruption of Taal Volcano and then the pandemic started. That year was really hard since we had to adjust to many things like staying home and being away from family. The rise of cases is making me feel like it's 2020 again. I learned a lot from that year, so I'm going to make sure I don't go through this year the same way again.
We had planned to do something fun this month. We wanted to visit the cemetery and do a day trip somewhere. Just really wanted to get out of the house. Now that it's too risky to go out, I'm just keeping myself busy with home projects. I already made 3 curtains. Two yellow ones for the kitchen and the ginormous pink one for our front window. Good thing Sweetie and Miggy set-up my sewing nook.
We also finally unboxed the last box from Singapore. Hooray! My motivation was to find my box of threads, haha. The last box we opened was Sweetie's toys. The box of thread was sitting in a closet. I'm now working through checking the list because the mover said there were two missing boxes. Gaaaah. It's been hard to track since they duplicated some numbers and some boxes didn't have a number. The naming convention of the boxes was also messed up. We'll see.
I was hoping to have my Mom see the very cute curtain I made. I haven't been able to visit her for a week now. I'm avoiding unnecessary exposure for her. The three of us have been sneezing off and on the past week. It might be allergies. I also inhaled a lot of dust when I tried cleaning the top of the water tank. Ugh. So just keeping safe for now. Mom has been in high spirits whenever I call her.
So for now, we stay home. No joyrides to spin Pokestops. Hope to finish the rest of the living room curtains this week so I can work on my blanket project. I was planning to bake cupcakes for friends, but will just delay it for now since we're avoiding unnecessary external interaction.
Stay safe friends and praying for those who are sick.
I have family and friends who have been infected with the coronavirus. Got worried last night when my best friend told me he tested positive too. Good thing they are all vaccinated so they're all asymptomatic. My boys have been very strict with me. They don't allow me to step out if there's a delivery. We all wear masks if someone drops by, even if it's just at the gate.
I always feel anxious whenever I feel unwell. A dark cloud always comes over me when I get sick. I've had to deal with anxiety since I had my first pulmonary embolism in 2018. It felt like it was easier to manage when I was busy at work, but that didn't help. I was just avoiding the issue and it eventually emptied my tank. After I had my second pulmonary embolism, I realized I needed help.
A huge part of recovering from an illness relies on having a sound mind. Battling physical illnesses requires you to have a strong will. I know my issues are extraordinary compared to most, but I thought I'd share what I've been doing because it may help you or a loved one who may need help. Here's a list:
1. Sleep - I had trouble sleeping for years. My doctor kept reminding me that getting 8 hours of sleep was important for recovery. What helped me was putting a few drops of lavender on an essential oil stone. Using an air filter also help a lot (doc said breathing well is a huge part of getting proper sleep). Praying the rosary before sleeping also helped me calm down.
I guess a huge part of being anxious was being far away from home. I rarely have trouble falling asleep since I got home.
2. Look Up - I got this tip from my Kuya. Whenever the black cloud sets in and my train of thought goes dark, I break it by looking up. It forces me to think of something else.
3. Essential Oils - I have been using EOs since 2019. It was my HS classmate who's a doctor who finally convinced me to use them. I do a lot of research though before using any oil to make sure it doesn't interact with my meds. I diffuse several times a week and the boys love it too because it makes our home smell good.
4. Drinking Lots of Water - I doubled my water intake. It made my blood flow better and resolved kidney issues. Feeling good means less anxiety.
5. Exercise - this was never in my dictionary. The only willing exercise I used to do was malling*. It's the only place I could easily get 10k steps. My back ached so bad after my first PE I had to go see a spine doctor. He enrolled me in physiotherapy. My PT said I should treat exercise like the requirement to brush my teeth. Strangely that's what got me moving! As long as I do at least 30 wall push-ups a day I've been okay. This has helped expand my lungs, keep my core firm and keep my joints working properly. I guess it helps produce needed endorphins too. I'm not as grumpy anymore.
6. Hugs - get at least 8 hugs a day.
7. Do some gardening - watering plants have been helping me with balance. I use it as escape time to stay offline too.
8. Stay offline - my doctors mandated this for me. I set up my phone to track how much time I spent online. It took me four months before I became less wired. I realized that my doctors mandate to stay offline was the best advise they gave me.
9. Get a hobby - I read that anxiety stems from being unable to control a situation. I found it very useful to work on my hobbies. It made me feel accomplished whenever I finished a project. Working on your hobbies also help keep you offline and away from triggers!
10. Know your triggers. A good understanding of what stresses you out is important in managing your well-being. Part of this includes surrounding yourself with people who truly love you.
Of course, pray and always remember that Papa God loves you.
Election period started yesterday. That means more checkpoints around the country (aren't they permanently there already?). This means the official campaign period is just around the corner. I've been seeing a lot of posters around already for those running locally. A lot of them took advantage of the Christmas season with greetings from their families. If you really do well, people will recognize your work and you don't really need to do posters.
I made a list of how I assessed candidates back in 2016 (read here). I based it on the job description as written in the 1987 Philippine Constitution. My candidate lost and sadly the current administration did not do a good job based on the basic JD from the constitution. I will follow that list and thought I'd add a values list.
1. I will not vote for a lame duck. A lame duck is someone who gives a gazillion excuses just to get out of a tight spot. Quack, quack, quack. Usually they just make a lot of noise noh.
2. I will only vote for someone who has a clean record. Our leaders should have integrity and credibility. Palabra de honor.
3. I will only vote for someone who has really made contributions to improve the lives of the people.
4. Definitely not voting for someone who is self-centered and selfish. I want someone who works hard.
5. Definite no-no to those who are pakitang tao.
6. Someone who can enable change and get those who can help to support programs. Bayanihan.
7. Respectful and courteous. I've had enough of vile talk.
8. Someone we can be proud of when representing us internationally. Let's find someone who can be a good role model.
9. Peace loving.
10. Someone who prays.
Halfway while making the list I looked up the list of basic Filipino values. Most of what I was thinking about covered it. Other people have the opinion that we need a strong leader. Someone who has an iron fist. I heard that from a lot of taxi drivers in SG. I disagree. I believe that we can progress better with cooperation and working as a community.
Pandemic dreaming is back! I strangely had dinosaurs in my dream last night. Even stranger when Godzilla made a cameo. That woke me up, haha.
As usual I did a quick search on Google to find out what dreaming of dinosaurs mean. There are different interpretations, but a general view says that the dinosaur represents your past and it's time to leave it. Another interpretation says you may be afraid of change.
I'm definitely still in a transition phase. Easing into my new life hasn't been easy. I'm not without problems, but I think I'm dealing with issues better now. I know I've always been intense and I'm just learning now to be more chill. One thing I've learned to do is to say no since I have to be mindful about my health.
Or maybe the dinosaurs represent the hoards of things I still need to organize. I'm still living out of a "suitcase" because I prioritize organizing our kitchen. I still have some boxes I need to clear. Activity has been stalled because my arm has been hurting since new year. It's just getting a bit better, so hopefully resuming my wall push-ups would fix the issue. Ugh, I abhor being "fragile".
Our neighborhood has been very, very quiet the past few days. I rarely hear cars passing by. The only sound I hear consistently is the rustling of the bamboo leaves. The zen atmosphere is only ruined when ambulances pass by. I guess everyone's trying to stay home for now.
May you have a peaceful and stress-free Sunday, sans dinosaurs!
The week just flew by after we had our New Year celebratory lunch with Mom. I've only been keeping track of the day through my meds, LOL. I've been writing the day of the week on my primary medication to make sure I drink it on the right day and time. #titahitz
Hello Brownie! Not mine, but she lives in Mom's house.
At this time of the year I'm normally finalizing my work goals and targets. My whole year would revolve around it and whatever I wanted to do outside of work had to adjust to it. I just realized I have a very clean slate, haha. I'm keeping things slow for now to make sure I remain stable.
The first week of the year brought alarming news. Cases have drastically gone up and even those who have been very careful have gotten infected. It's reached our family too and all we can do is pray for each other (the Paranaque contingent remains safe don't worry). It's really best to stay home if you can.
My project to get my childhood home fixed has been put on hold for now. I'm just praying it won't rain so that the roof won't leak and cause more damage. I told the contractor we'll schedule when things are safer. I'll also have my Mom stay with me while the roof is being fixed. She'll probably make a fuss over not having access to her garden, but her safety will be the priority. Other home projects are also on hold. Best we can do is finish organizing the kitchen and focus on planning.
Mama Mary protect us.
I think the most productive thing I did this week was work on my garden. The bell pepper seeds Miggy and I planted before Christmas has produced 23 sprouts! The spring onion and leeks are stable now and growing nicely. I was also able to re-pot the citronella plants I got a month ago. They've outgrown the temporary plastic pot and needed a new home. I got really nice clay pots for them.
I have gardening gloves, but I want to feel what I'm doing better so I use latex gloves.
There's a meme showing that 2022 means 2020 too. Much as the case numbers are going crazy now, I think we're in a better position to win over the virus. We all know what we need to do -- get vaccinated and stay home as much as possible. Help where we can and pray.