Thursday, January 19, 2012

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

It's been a year since you've gone and I miss you so much!

So much has happened in the past year and I think one of the big surprises was me moving to Singapore! But back-tracking a bit I'm sure you would've been excited about some of the projects I did in the fourth quarter of 2011. I never imagined that I'll be doing those, but I did and what helped me was the exposure you gave me when I was younger. I new you were there for me every step of the way. I wish though you were still here to witness it (but I know you're in a place where you can monitor me 24 hours a day wherever I am).

I opened a whole new chapter of my life last October when I moved to Singapore. I really had mixed feelings about it since I did not want to leave Mom, but after praying I realized it was the direction I was meant to go. I didn't realize that I could be so mobile! Imagine, I lived with you until the day I married. So I've actually moved four times in the past 2 years! It's been a struggle being far away from home, but I comfort myself by knowing that you are looking over me.

I know we told you just before you left that your favorite apo passed his entrance exam at your alma mater. Unfortunately they don't offer the course that he really wanted to take, so we enrolled him in my alma mater (hehehe). He's been having a great time and I don't understand half of what he does in school now. Jay's been busy too with his job. I'm really glad I found someone who's just like you Dad! He even likes eating ice cream sandwich! (That's how lucky I got!).

Anyway, I did not want to mope on this special day since we're supposed to celebrate it. Will visit you this weekend, okay?


Sunday, January 15, 2012

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Yesterday I moved to a new flat. A colleague of mine advised me that I should just get a room instead of renting an apartment for myself. During that time I was still unsure about moving and prayed that if I was really going to move that I would be able to stay with one of my friends. My prayer was answered because two of my close friends offered me a place to stay! All I needed to do was to choose. So I took that as a sign that I was heading the right direction. 

Today I celebrate my third month of being far away from home. Three months ago I packed a bag and asked Sweetie to help me move to Singapore. I'm lucky because I've managed to come home monthly, but being far away from home is one of the hardest challenges I've faced in my life. We cope by keeping in touch all day through Gtalk and through Google Hangouts in the evenings (and it's free!!!). What I miss most though is the daily hugs I get from my boys.

Tomorrow I go back to work with renewed vigor and I'm pretty excited about what I will be doing in the next few months. I'm going home to Manila in a few days for some work and for my Dad's one year death anniversary. It seems just like yesterday that he had gone to heaven, but I know he's just always there for me (walang kilitian Dad ha!).

And, of course, be a star!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Be a Star

Happy new year!

My blog has been silent the past few weeks because I thought I'd spend every extra second I had with my family. Being away from home has definitely been a huge challenge for me and despite the fact that it's been almost 3 months it's still a struggle for me every single day.

My boys and my Mom welcomed the new year with me in Singapore. We decided to stay in and just celebrate in the apartment since my Mom was not feeling well. We had fun despite missing the fireworks and usual Christmas ham. We replaced the fireworks by just watching what was happening at Marina Bay through TV. And substituted the Christmas ham with some honey ham from the supermarket. Despite the missing elements we were complete because we had each other and I'm glad we managed to spend some time with my brother and his family too.

I have been thinking a lot about making a list of new year's resolution, but decided not to make one because I have a backlog as old as my blog. The year 2011 is probably one of the worst years of my life because I lost my Dad, but I guess he wanted me to move along and I got so busy the rest of the year and eventually found myself living in another country! Moving was totally unexpected and unplanned, but opportunities are hard to pass if it's something that you love doing.

My heart is far from being whole still since my Dad left a very, very huge hole. During mass yesterday I realized that such is life. One's parents grow old. My Mom kept telling me when I was younger, "How will you survive if I'm not around?" It is one of those things that made me stronger and brought me to where I am today (that's how I became self-sufficient boss since you wondered, haha).

I realized yesterday during mass that what brings out the best in me is my family's love. Said in a cheesy way, "They are the wind beneath my wings". And I have to do well while I am away. The priest nailed it yesterday during his homily when he said that each of us should be a star for others.

So that would be my mantra for this year.

Be a star.