How are You?

Hello my friend, how are you today? Are you happy? Sad? Tired? Restless? Anxious? Bleh? 

It was a sunny day today and I just quietly worked on my new quilt project all afternoon. I didn't nag Miggy and Sweetie as much because I watched three episodes of The Good Doctor while ironing half-squares. The episodes I watched were the ones where Dr. Glassman was forcing Dr. Shaun to see a therapist. Shaun didn't want to and did things to avoid seeing the therapist. 

And that's why I asked how are you today? This pandemic has been so hard for all of us. I've been able to cope mainly because of my family and close friends. I still feel antsy every so often about being stuck at home and the lack of social activities. The first few months when we had to stay home was the hardest. I'm grateful that we were able to move homes because our old place had a lot of plumbing issues. 

I was getting some counselling last year. We were trying to work out the extreme stress I was going through. The break I took helped and eventually my counselor said he had resigned. I was okay by then and replaced him with gardening and baking. I managed until I had another PE* and I was able to cope, but there were things that would trigger symptoms and anxiety. 

It was then I realized that I needed help because I might have PTSD (which is common among PE survivors). I asked help from a friend and he referred me to his doctor. I'm glad I went to see his doctor because it also helped with my recovery. The doctor also understood very well that I've been through a lot and knew what to do. 

Our sessions have been pretty straightforward. I report the status of my medical condition and share what I've been doing for my recovery. It's not like what they show on TV where you lie down on a couch and talk about your issues, LOL. I've just had a handful of sessions and I'm happy to share that the strong, fighter me is back. And that was my main purpose of getting help to deal with PTSD. The triggers still exist, but I'm able to deal with it much better. I'll probably graduate from seeing him soon. 

Back to Dr. Shaun Murphy, I kinda get why he's resisting to see a therapist. He probably thinks and feels he can cope with things. That's how I felt too, but after losing sleep for 48 hours a couple of times I knew I needed help (and that's what other patients would advise too). It was one of the best decisions I made for myself because the issues I was having eased up a bit. I know there will be more challenges and I'm not out of the woods yet, but at least I'm able to cope better now (and I'm no longer a dead weight at home!).

So, how are you my friend? I'm just a ping away if you need someone to talk with :)

Day 26 Gratitude, Something in nature. The breeze. I super love it when a gentle breeze blows through. That's what I always imagine when I'm lulling myself to sleep. The breeze reminds me of afternoons I used to spend in my Mom's garden. She'd usually place a banig (mat) on the lawn and that's where I'd play or work on my crafts. We usually get a nice breeze in the afternoons on her lawn. 

CB///*Yr2/109 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/132 #NewG337 #Home95 #StayHome #BeKind 

*PE - pulmonary embolism; PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder

Hidilyn Diaz, Hardwork and Faith

I was super teary eyed last night when I watched videos of Hidilyn Diaz winning the first Olympics gold for the Philippines. From reading articles I found out she fought at the weightlifting 55kg category. Carried a total of 224kg, beating China by 1 kg! She knew as soon as she finished her third try that she cinched the gold medal. I think it was really meant for her. 

I first heard of Hidilyn Diaz when she started winning medals in the SEA Games and Olympics over a decade ago. I cannot help but admire Hidilyn. You can see that she really worked hard for her passion. She didn't have enough support to fulfill her dream and had to ask for help from private companies to continue her training. 

One thing I noticed after she finished her round she was immediately given a Miraculous Medal which she immediately worse. In her interviews she mentioned that she was surprised she was able to carry the weight and felt that it was her faith that helped her carry it all. It goes to show that hardwork and a steadfast faith will really carry you through challenges. 

I am so inspired with Hidilyn Diaz. I always believed that when you are working on something you are passionate about, you should keep your head down and work hard on it and pray for guidance and success. 

Congratulations Hidilyn for winning the first Olympic gold for the Philippines! And thank you for giving us so much hope and inspiration <3

Day 25 Gratitude Challenge, Another person. Need I say more? This whole blog post is a gratitude post about Hidilyn Diaz :)

CB///*Yr2/108 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/131 #NewG338 #Home96 #StayHome #BeKind 

Jaybucks' Sunflower

I thought today I'd showcase Sweetie's successful gardening project -- his sunflowers have started to bloom! Woohoo!

Nine weeks ago we re-started our balcony garden. I haven't been successful at planting flowers, so I focused on veggies. Sweetie though has been trying to grow flowers since last year. We don't know if the seeds we got were not good or it's the soil, but the only flowers that so far bloomed in our "balcony farm" are tomato flowers haha. 

Sweetie got a packet of sunflower seeds from the supermarket. He planted it nine weeks ago. Three out of the five that sprouted survived getting transplanted. They're all blooming now! Woohoo! It's been really exciting to watch the sunflower grow taller and form the base of the flower. In the past few days yellow petals have started to bloom. We hope to see it in full bloom by end of the week! 

Updates about our other plants are on our gardening blog :)

Meanwhile while Sweetie's been busy with the plants, I finally had some energy today to bake peanut butter cookies. I used Toastbox peanut butter again (recipe here). I can't wait to bake it with Lily's peanut butter again. Will be giving some to our neighbors. Hope they'll like it!

Day 24 Gratitude Challenge, A book, magazine or podcast. I've been listening to some podcasts now that I have time. I haven't listened to a lot, but have so far enjoyed "Superhuman", the podcast of Wil Dasovich. He went through a lot when he had cancer and was able to overcome it. I'm fascinated with his energy and I'm grateful for the example he shows on how to live a healthier life. I'm hoping that I'll be able to bike again in time. 

CB///*Yr2/107 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/130 #NewG339 #Home97 #StayHome #BeKind 

I Enjoy Doing This

When I started my YouTube channel over a decade ago I used it to post videos from music events Sweetie and I frequented. Eventually I started to make travel vlogs. Then I started making tech vids. I was always so self-conscious in front of a camera. I never got used to it so I stopped. 

I've always been fascinated about creating videos. I used to make videos for my friends who were getting married. At that time it would mostly be a compilation of their photos with a few greetings from abroad. In late 2019 I wanted to resume creating videos again. I bought a camera and thought I'd pick up where I left off. I tried to make some travel vlogs, but I realized I prefer taking videos than being in videos. 

To lessen my camera time I shifted to making cooking videos for Miggy through Recipes for My Son. It certainly reduced my time in front of the camera. I only comb my hair twice a day so it just didn't work out for me. I eventually discovered that I could just put captions on the videos. No need for me to be seen or to talk! Ahhh, I think I finally found what I want to do with my interest in creating videos -- just make tutorial vids!

And that's what I've been enjoying doing nowadays. I've been making tutorial videos on quilting and gardening. I'll probably do cooking videos again once I have more energy. I've never enrolled in video editing classes, I just make videos based on how I think the viewer can learn. I enjoy making the videos because it spurs me to learn more about my crafts (and gardening). I hope it'll inspire others to get crafty too!

Here's a video I just made - how to make 8 half squares at a time! I just recently discovered this trick by chance through Pinterest! 

Come on now, just humor me, please subscribe to my YouTube channel! I've also started to post short versions of my vids on Instagram. And to keep updated on my new blog posts, you may want to follow my page on Facebook. Yay!

Day 23 Gratitude Challenge, Something Nice. I've been appreciating the moon tonight since I saw it through the window. It looks perfect and I tried to take photos of it, but my camera isn't made to take super zoom shots. So I'm just admiring it from where I'm sitting right now. And because of the moon I fired up the Sky View app to know what's around me. Venus and Mars are floating on my left side, while Jupiter and Saturn are to my right. The app also showed me where some popular stars are located like the Ursa Major. It's nice to have this app because I could barely see stars outside because everything is so well-lighted here. Try the app! :)

CB///*Yr2/106 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/129 #NewG340 #Home98 #StayHome #BeKind 

 

Reinvention

I told Sweetie earlier that it must be so hard to be an artist. You have to continually make yourself relevant unless you reach superstardom levels. Sweetie said artists reinvent themselves all the time. Famous artists do it all the time, but those who are really lucky just sit on their laurels. 

One actress I've been following closely is Sandra Oh. I saw her first on Grey's Anatomy, then I watched her on Killing Eve. She has an upcoming show on Netflix, "The Chair". She's a really great actress and you could see a different side of her in each of her roles. She's one of those who catapulted to superstardom and will never be forgotten imho.

So how do ordinary citizens like us reinvent ourselves? I've been thinking about this because I feel I'm in transition. I very likely won't be able to go back to my old life. The good thing about being an ordinary citizen is I'm not pressured to stay relevant. I can just slink away and hibernate back into my old quiet life. 

There are things that come naturally for me -- monitoring crisis, building communities, working patiently on projects. I think my life will still revolve around those things, but scaled down. It's all just ideas for me right now since I need to focus on getting well. 

Much like moving houses, our needs change depending on where we are in our lives. When we were a new family we moved to a cozy apartment, then a bigger duplex. Then we got our condo unit which served us really well since we traveled a lot. Things have changed a lot and we're going to reinvent how we do things again. 

Day 22 Gratitude challenge, Something that made you laugh. You gotta hand it to comediennes, may it be a film, a series and their vlog, they make us laugh. I really appreciate the effort they make to entertain and make us happy. 

CB///*Yr2/105 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/128 #NewG341 #Home99 #StayHome #BeKind 

A Day in My Life

I've been a bit worried this past week. My doctor gave me some news and I've been anxious about it. I guess it's normal to feel this way. It doesn't help that the doctor I've been referred to isn't easily accessible. I'm still waiting to get an appointment to see her. 

Anyway, I'm sure it'll work out soon enough. I just need to make sure I focus on thinking happy thoughts. To be honest it gets really hard especially when I feel unwell. I have to make a conscious effort to shift where my thoughts are going. 

Yesterday I discovered The Good Doctor on Netflix. I like watching hospital dramas and this one was quite interesting. I was surprised to find out that a lot of friends have watched it and are looking forward to season 4. I'm really behind on watching films haha. 

Started my new quilt project yesterday. I'm making lap quilt blankets for my doctors as a thank you for their care. I learned a trick to make it faster... well hopefully. I hope I could finish this project in a month or two. After this I plan to make a Christmas tree skirt which I've been meaning to do for a few years now. 

My days now go slowly, very different from what my pace was before. I wake up really late to complete 8 hours of sleep. I eat my breakfast very slowly. I usually eat oatmeal and then drink my meds. Prepare my coffee and exercise while waiting for it to drip through the filter. Read or watch videos while drinking coffee. In between doing those things I try not to distract Sweetie too much while he's working (he took over the dining table as his workspace). 

After breakfast I move to "my office" -- the couch. Depends on what I feel like doing, but this is where I work on my quilt and writing projects. I can't wait for the day I'll have a real space for my crafts. Right now our living room looks like a messy craft space. I have fabric, thread, patterns and other stuff all around. I just need to make sure I don't have pins and needles lying around hehe. 

Our mealtime has been erratic the past few weeks. Sometimes Sweetie gets so busy so we usually eat whenever we get hungry. I normally eat a light dinner. I don't skip meals because of the medication. After dinner we watch some films until it's time to sleep. Across the whole day we keep in touch with Miggy. 

That's how my weekdays go nowadays. I like my newfound chill only days. This is what I need for now and I'm grateful for this time to rest. 

Day 21 Gratitude Challenge, A technology. Google Meets! It's what my family has been using in the past decade to keep in touch. We have an archive of all our chats through the years. And the best thing about it is it's free and reliable :)

CB///*Yr2/104 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/127 #NewG342 #Home100 #StayHome #BeKind 

Thinking of Getting a New Laptop

The last time I bought myself a laptop was in 2013. It was a touchscreen laptop which I mainly used to manage my photos. It started getting buggy just a year after I got it. The service center had to change the screen. Good thing it was still under warranty. It still served it's purpose until the keys started to break down and it eventually died on me early last year. 

Since my laptop was buggy I would just use Sweetie and Miggy's discards. I'm typing this post on Miggy's old Toshiba Chromebook. It still works well and the battery life is still amazing. The only drawback is it's been hard to edit videos on it. I've been using Sweetie's old laptop now to edit videos, but it's been cranky the past two months. I wait an hour before it turns on. 

Ten years ago I used to spend so much money on buying branded desktops. I wanted my gadgets to work smoothly. I'm not so patient with building computers. My friend who used to build them for me moved elsewhere so I stuck to buying branded ones. They worked really well for me. My needs changed though and that's why I've been able to survive using old devices for my personal use. 

I know the Toshiba Chromebook (2015) still have a lot of life in it. I'll continue to use it for writing and non-editing tasks. It's auto-update policy though expires in September so I expect it might start slowing down more. So I'm now searching for a new Chromebook. I'm choosing between the Google Pixelbook Go or the Samsung Galaxy Chromebook 2020 (not the Samsung Chromebook 2). 

The Google Pixelbook Go option is a no-brainer, but it's certainly more expensive. The auto-update policy ends in 2026. The Samsung Galaxy Chromebook 2020 expires in 2028, but the specs are lower than the Pixelbook. Sweetie said he'll have to compare the specs of the two before he makes a recommendation. I know though build-wise the Pixelbook Go will give me less issues since it's built by Google (that's why I stick to Pixel phones). 

Oh well, have you acquired any new devices? What do you use?

Day 20 Gratitude Challenge, A holiday you love. The holiday I love most is Christmas! It's just always a happy time to be with family. I love the traditions we built around the holiday. We always have a family picture with our Christmas tree every year. Last year since we were incomplete Miggy worked on adding himself to our family photo. It was hilarious and fooled a lot of people haha. My one wish this year is to celebrate Christmas as a complete family. 

CB///*Yr2/103 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/126 #NewG343 #Home101 #StayHome #BeKind