Monday, February 26, 2018

How Do you Carry Your Cross?

Time flies so fast. It's the end of February and we're almost 2 weeks now through the Lenten season. Every year we are reminded about how Jesus bore the Cross for all of our sins. The past two weeks the homily has been about that. The priest yesterday though took a more practical approach in his sermon and it got me thinking. What is the Cross that you bear? And how do you carry it?

“The presence of God will be a great advantage to you to help and 
to inspire you to do your actions well.” - St. John Baptist de La Salle

Oftentimes when I'm going through something challenging I always try to remind myself that it's usually not about the person challenging you, but how you react to it. It's so easy to strike back and just hurt the other person. It's oftentimes hard to be the better person. Experience and a lot of patience helps, so I oftentimes find myself revising an email I'm about to send. I reword it so that it's much more constructive than hurtful. Adversity with others is difficult, but what about with yourself?

I think one of the heaviest crosses I carry is my health. I had open heart surgery 5 years ago and things have never been the same. The heart is mechanically good, but for the past year I had a delayed onset of adult asthma. It's under control now, but when I'm unwell my bright, sunny, cheerful world turns dark (like Gotham City). When I'm unable to do anything, I lie helpless in bed and I become really sad. Coupled with grieving and work stress it's not a good place to be in.

I prayed and I prayed really hard. I know God's sends me angels to show me the way, like the uncle taxi driver who drove me to the airport in Taipei. He had a very cheerful disposition in life and reminded me so much about my Dad (see story below). Our uncle shuttle bus driver who said I was special because I had the bus all to myself. The students of my MIL who shared the impact she made in their lives. My cardio who noted during my check-up that I continue to have a sunny disposition despite my ailments (he always puts this on his records). He said that it really helps in keeping me alive. I am also very thankful that my family is very loving and supportive.  It's the little things that usually bring me back to my usual happy self.

We all bear different crosses. I always try to remember as well that God only gives us crosses that we can bear. It's there because there is a lesson to be learned. In the last 5 years since my surgery I adjusted a lot. My allergologist said, "The first step is acceptance." I accepted the fact that my body isn't the same as everyone else and I have limitations on what I can do physically (that's probably why my brain is always so hyperactive, all my energy is there). I have accepted it and just let the Will of God guide me through everything I do. It ain't easy. Just do all things with love.

What about you? What cross do you bear? How do you manage it?


My guardian angel: Uncle Tiger

Guardian angels come in different forms and sizes. Today's guardian angel is Uncle Tiger. He saved me from the freezing cold lobby where I had a meeting, helped me pick up my luggage and whisked me off to the airport. He spoke very good English so I asked him what his previous work was. He was a mechanical engineer who worked in 5 different countries. He said he is 68 years old now and drives a taxi because he is bored and likes meeting interesting people. Young at heart he said his past time is driving around on his Harley Davidson motorcycle. He had so much infectious joy in him (I need this badly!).. Hopefully I'll see him again when I'm back in Taipei.