I was clinically diagnosed with PTSD and depression last year after my second PE*. A friend suggested to me to see a proper doctor since I used up the consultations benefit. I knew also from the experience of other PE patients that it's important to get help. PE is truly a different kind of monster.
I breezed through 2 OHS' and I was still able to cope after my first PE. The second one though really did a number on me. I emailed the doctor as my friends suggested, but I waited another six weeks before I followed-up. I only followed up because I wasn't getting any better and I wasn't motivated to do anything.
|First vs. Last day at my psych doctor's office.|
My energy (and skin care) definitely improved.
And the doctor helped. We did have some issues with meds in the beginning. I kept bleeding because it was interacting with my other meds. He eventually gave me something that worked. Within a month I progressed a lot. My breathing improved and my stamina improved also. Our sessions helped me re-establish my coping mechanims and it got me sewing again.
My doctor was concerned about moving back home. He said it was going to be stressful. I was confident when I told him that I felt I'd be fine. I was okay and even weaned myself away from the meds early (he gave me instructions on how to do it). I knew it would not be good to be dependent on meds. I had to re-learn to be resilient.
The past 10 months since I stopped taking the meds has been very challenging. I still have 2 banigs of the medication which I can take in case of emergency. I have not taken it even though I had been going through a difficult time since September.
A friend posted a quote on his FB stream about "living gratefully". I remember the lesson Chade Meng Tan taught us about being grateful and being grateful for others. He said the effect of being grateful is multiplied so much more if you are grateful for others. That's what broke the dark cloud that was on my head.
|This is my emergency pill.|
I realized that I should celebrate what I have instead of lamenting over what I don't have. That's the reason why I made this post last week and why I think my posts now sound more happy than morose. Live grateful and you're heart will overflow with happiness.
If you're feeling downtrodden or sad or stuck in a rut, it's always helpful to start a gratitude journal. You can start with one to three per day. Start with simple things like appreciating the beautiful blue sky when you wake up. Believe me your list will soon grow long and you're perspective will change. For extra oomph, try being grateful for others. It will rocketship you to the stars.
*PE - pulmonary embolism
**OHS - open heart surgery