I tend to keep things bottled up. I was always discouraged from being emotional. I was always told not to cry because it would be bad for my heart (well, now it is). I lost it when Dad passed away over a decade ago. I still cry whenever I miss him. My Mom though was always unemotional. She was good at keeping a cool head.
It was my medical issues that eventually made a crack in my other stable demeanor. I was told I was a calming force in our team. Well, the medical issues I've gone through broke the lid and I had to get help. My doctor focused me to re-develop my coping mechanisms. That was important because there are many things you have to deal with everyday.
When my Dad passed away, I was given time off, but by midweek after he was buried I went back to work. Mom told me again and again that it's the cycle of life and I just had to live with it. It took me awhile to understand it. Titos and Titas soon followed after Daddy passed and that was when I understood fully what Mom and Dad taught me about losing a loved one. Their mission is done and you should be happy that they are now in heaven.
We all deal with grief in different ways. My only advise is not to keep things bottled up. Cry when you need to and reach out to your loved ones when you can't bear things. I'm lucky I have support groups that have been there for me this past week. I tried crying, but I ended up resting in bed because my heart went bonkers. I've been finding other ways to manage my grief.
I'm not surprised I've ended up keeping busy. It's one of the coping mechanisms Mom taught me. I've been doing some sewing, some writing and I've been chatting with my support group. Our band of stray cats have also been keeping me company. They've stuck around since last week and Kaley usually sits outside my craft room whenever I'm there.
Grief can truly be overwhelming, but as Mom kept telling me, huwag mo dibdibin.
Miss you Ma.
Don't worry about the crying part. I've cried for you and our family. Family weeping rep present. :)ReplyDelete