Monday, September 12, 2022

Home on Mondays: The Helper Got Bored and Walked Out

Last week I wrote about planning for old age. This was brought about by two reasons: (1) My Mom is now 86 years old, and (2) I'm trapped in the body of a 80-year old. My Mom is actually stronger than me. She can still do stuff in the garden and neighbors see her sweeping in the front of our house. She's still fiercely independent and wants to stay in her house. 

Well, I've taken over managing her house. Things were going well and she even had a small party with her friends early last week. Then her helper dropped the bomb, "Naboboring na ako dito, gusto ko na umuwi ng Bicol." She agreed to wait for a replacement, but the day after feigned illness and then walked out on my Mom. My neighbor had to run after her because she didn't even bother to say goodbye to my Mom. She also did not account for the money Kuya left. 

I didn't bother with an "exit interview". I just sent her last pay++ and focused my energy in finding a replacement. It was stressful enough to find ways to take care of my Mom. She refused to stay with us. The boys brought her food and checked on her several times a day. But when we found the food uneaten and the faucets without water we initiated a plan to make her stay with us. Told her I'm sick and then had her stay in our house. What she didn't know is we offered to do her laundry the day before as a contingency plan. 

Chocolate milk in a Starbucks cup.
If you know my Mom, you'd know she's the most stubborn person on this side of the planet. She was angry, but after seeing freshly laundered clothes and the availability of a hot shower she relented. She even said she won't be able to sleep. She was fast asleep when I went to her room to say good night, hahaha. It was a terrible idea to allow her to be by herself. She didn't eat properly, didn't drink enough water and obviously jumbled up her vitamins. 

Mom looked really frail when she arrived. Her veins were very prominent and I suspected she was dehydrated. We immediately worked on getting her hydrated and indulged her with all her favorite food. The apo always got his way when he asked her to drink more water. To keep her from getting agitated I got her busy rolling paper for a project. We didn't finish it yet because I got sick from worrying about her. She constantly wanted to go back home and that really stressed me out. 

Truly grateful to our neighbor for helping out. She understands why elders just want to stay in their home. It is what is familiar for them and it holds good memories. It's hard for me though to manage two households since I'm not in the best shape and that's why I thought for the future I'd make it easier for Miggy, thus the old age plan. Putting on the oxygen mask on myself first (like in the airplane) because that would be the best way to take care of Mom at this moment. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

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