Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Midlife Slapped Me in the Face Big Time

This old photo of me was floated up by Google Photos. That was me in Singapore in 2005 during one of my visits to Dr. Koo. I had stayed with Tappy for a few days and she brought me around. At that time it never crossed my mind that I'd move to Singapore six years after. It was a year and a half later when my life completely changed. 

Singapore, February 2005.

I still remember that day clearly. We went to Little India, Bugis and then Chinatown where we are mee goreng. It was a happy, carefree day. Life was so simple back then. I had a full time job at the yellow pages and at that time my best friend and I were trying to be entrepreneurs too. I had challenges too, but things were simpler. 

I have weathered my roaring 20s and my thrilling 30s. I'm now in my midlife. I've been reading the book "The Beauty of 40" and it succinctly said that in your 40s you must not lead it like you're still in your 20s. We fall into that trap where we behave like we're still in our 20s and brandish photos of our life on social media. Why? At our age we should already know who we are, we don't need external reassurances. We should be secure in our identity. 

Singapore, February 2020
before I got sickly again
Midlife slapped me in the face. I have been sickly for three years now and I realized I've been living my life like I'm still in my 20s. I have to break the habit of being myself (learn more from Dr. Joe Dispenza). I have been addicted to things that have not been good for me. I cannot bring back what I was before, the only way is to move forward and grow as appropriate based on where I am now. 

Yesterday was the first time I felt I functioned like normal. It's because of the medication. I've been having brain fog issues since mid-December and the struggle is real. So I took advantage of the lucid day and listed my goals for this year. I based it on the following themes: family, home, finances, health, learning, creating and spiritual. To make my goals work this year I am involving my family so we can work on it together.

So that's how I'm going to cope with the boat I am currently in -- the sick boat. I'm so glad Marv advised me to find new ways to cope because the old way hasn't been working. My recovery process has to be a wholistic one. At least I have a guide now and I can work through it even if the fog comes back tomorrow. It will help immensely if the air quality was better!  

CB///321 #StuckAtHomeDay/351 #StayHome #BeKind 


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