“It is suffering, more than anything else, which clears the way for the grace which transforms human souls. Suffering, more than anything else, makes present . . . the force of Redemption.”
- St. Pope John Paul II
When I was a child my Mom would always tell me to lift all my pain to Jesus. Back then I just had toothaches and tonsilitis. Mom said the same thing to me when I was experiencing a lot of pain after heart surgery. I'd drink the meds and then I lift all the pain to Him. I guess that's how I managed to carry the cross.
I have good days and I have a bad day. Today has so far been a bad day. Few minutes after waking up I had a migraine. Got a bit better, then an hour after I started feeling dizzy. I still am while writing this post. Sweetie would have forced me to lie down if he knew I was still dizzy. This happens often I know already when I should lie down. I feel I can still fight it so I'm staying up (in fact I watered my plants even before settling down to blog).
This is my new normal and I have accepted it. If I focused so much on suffering I'd probably be very miserable. I know though I'm where I should be. I slow down and rest when needed. Do what I could when I can. I'm just grateful whenever I could exert a bit more effort.
And looking back at what has transpired the past four weeks, it was a blessing in disguise that we postponed our family vacation. Sweetie and Miggy had the flu and a waterspout appeared near the resort we booked. That would have given me a huge fright if we were there. Well, postponing our trip also meant I had enough time to recover from heart failure.
I was really looking forward to our family trip. The last one was in 2019 and I've really wanted to go to the beach. I was anxious about a few things: (1) Surviving the walk in the airport since we didn't book a wheelchair, (2) The question whether I'd be able to last an hour under the sun when swimming, (3) Random asthma attacks since I was doing oxygen therapy at night.
Well, a miracle happened. By God's grace we were able to enjoy our family vacation without any major mishaps. The weather was beautiful the entire week. I was able to swim at the beach twice and I was able to try paddleboarding (just sitting, I didn't attempt to stand), I held a rabbit (don't tell my doc!), and we were able to meet a friend in person (the stairs to her showroom almost did me in though haha). The boys were always there ready to assist me. It was truly a beautiful week.
Always find joy in everything. It is hard especially when you're in pain or not feeling well, but I believe if you focus so much on the pain then you'd suffer more. Be grateful and have faith. He will take care of the rest.
#BeKind #StaySafe
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