Doors

The 1SE app reminded me with a message this morning, "Life doesn't stop for anyone." An apt reminder because I've been amiss with adding daily content. I've been so busy the past two weeks, I haven't even started preparing for Christmas. 

Well, the 1SE app brought me to think about doors. I'm having our doorknobs replaced. We always get injured from lever door handles and my doctor told me to avoid any kind of injury (fragile ka ghorl?). So we're replacing it with classic door knobs. And life is just like that, it doesn't stop for anyone. You can take a break, but everyone around you will be moving. 

There's a saying, "When a door closes, a window opens." When I woke up this morning I realized that God opened a huge door for me. I had been stuck in the "I'm sick loop" for a year now and much as I try to move on, I've been immobile. This morning felt different though, it felt like the key to a new door was unlocked. It felt strange because I was also having an asthma attack when the revelation happened. 

I read that one cause of depression is the feeling of helplessness. It does not go well when you also have PTSD. Both pushes you to want to have control and a better sense of worth. I struggled with sleep for a long time. It was only when I came home that I felt things start to resolve. I have been able to fall asleep faster (most nights) and my Fitbit tells me that my deep sleep time has improved a lot. I need to have a lot of deep sleep to heal better. 

I know my body will never go back to what it was before. I've been praying for healing for my body, mind, heart and soul. It takes a lot of time and faith. I think having my family and friends in close proximity, breathing in Philippine air (even with bad AQI sometimes) and getting proper vitamin D from the sun, is what helped unlock the new door. 

Life doesn't stop for anyone, but you can always pause and take a break when you need it. Do things that will make you happy. It may not be a window that opens, but you can always change the doorknob too. 

I pray you are in good spirits today my friend. I also pray for those affected by the wrath of Typhoon Odette. 

#Home44 #NewG202 #Xmas8 #StayHome #BeKind