Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Learning the Art of Doing Nothing

Back when I knew how to relax.
I had a strange dream last night. I was out with friends at the old Glorietta area. Old Ayala Centre where SM Makati wasn't connected yet to Glorietta. The carabao statues were still around. We just kept walking around and went to National Bookstore. It was quite a walk back to the car and my friends kept pointing out a closed establishment which was named "Zenight Disco Bar". Afaik this place never existed so that was the strange thing about the dream. 

Oxford defines zenith as "the time at which something is most powerful or successful". It's also an astronomical term. I guess my friends were pointing out the closed establishment to remind me that my 15-year work journey is over. 

I wrote out a summary of the 15-years the other day. I didn't expect to get so many comments and well-wishes. A friend told me she couldn't leave a comment because she kept crying. She said there was so much love in the comments. I had to delay reading some of it because I kept choking up with tears too. I guess I did something right in the past 15 years and I'm grateful for all the love. 

Many friends have also told me to enjoy, get lots of rest and spend time with family. I have a problem... I don't know how to chill. I have yet to learn the art of doing nothing. When I sit to watch TV my hands are usually busy sewing or sorting things. Sweetie usually has to remind me to rest.  I just can't sit still haha. I only stop when I feel unwell. 

I heard that Sonya's Garden offers lessons on "The Art of Doing Nothing". Maybe I should enroll in that when I'm back home and when it's safe to travel. A friend also suggested to me to go to "The Farm at San Benito". Some suggested I travel. I remember during our last staycation I just slept and slept, so maybe that would be a good idea (as long as it's safe to travel).

The real reason I couldn't keep still is I don't feel useful. I feel I'm not serving my purpose. I only felt I deserved a break if I delivered. This is partly why I have an 80-year old's body now. This is something I need to resolve with myself so I could embrace the stress-free life my doctors have mandated for me. My doctors told me my personality is a problem hehehe. 

Suggestions are welcome :)

CB////*Yr2/191 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/212 #NewG257 #Home15 #Xmas67 #StayHome #BeKind

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