Sunday, September 6, 2009
Because Breaking Up is Hard to Do
(Note: I started this post last May 18, 2009.)
Yesterday the Gospel was all about LOVE! Yes, love, wonderful love! And the guest priest focused on 2 things: selfish love vs. sacrificial love. And it got me thinking about my past relationships and the plight of some of my girl friends now.
I know only one person in this whole wide world who never experienced a break-up (well not that I know of) and that's my Mom coz she's been with my Dad since she was 16! And they're celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary a few months from now (that's why I'm going bonkers over preparing for 2 weddings). And most of my friends (except the ones who are NBSB*) have experienced heartbreak one way or another.
And that's why I take back what I said that I will be forever 25. I'd rather be 30.
Because at 25 I didn't know what a good man is. At that age I thought that being miserable in a relationship was better than not being with the one you love. I thought that sacrificing your happiness was being a martyr for the one you love. I thought that not doing the things you want because your partner says so will keep your relationship intact. I thought that when your boyfriend tells you he doesn't love you it's okay as long as he is still around. I thought that it was sweet if your boyfriend checks with the guard what time you left the office and who you rode the elevator with. I thought that agreeing to something you don't really want to do would spell forever.
I thought. I thought. I thought.
Well, I was really stupid and being stupid ate a huge chunk of my life. Eventually I realized I wasn't happy anymore. I was miserable because I was in a miserable relationship. It was then that I realized that I wasn't the person I used to be. It took a long time, but I eventually found the courage to break things off.
I'm thankful though that I never gave up on love. The most important thing I realized though is something my Mom kept telling me since I was a kid, "Find someone with the same values you have." It took me a long time (and more toads) before I understood what she said and I can meaningfully say that I am so glad that I waited for the right one.
*NBSB - no boyfriend since birth