Wednesday, May 1, 2024

A Year Without Mom

A year ago, I woke up to the bad news that my Mom was gone. It was unexpected since she was actually healthier and stronger than me. I was very sickly back then and she'd tell me to just rest and not worry about her. I still did and would have Miggy call her to remind her to drink more water. 

Mom would have wanted to go that way. She always prayed to go while asleep. She said she didn't want to have a prolonged illness. She said she wanted to be independent and not bother us (her kids). She wanted us to live our own lives and not worry about her. Dad also used to say the same thing. They both let us fly as far as we could. 

The past year without Mom has been surreal. Incomplete. There was always something missing. Whenever we go someplace or order food, I'd always think what Mom would like. Any quilting project I work on, I'd always think what she'd think about it. Oftentimes, I'd ask myself, "WWMD?" (What would Mom do?). 

Going through her things has been therapeutic. It took me months before I could start working on it. I honestly haven't made a dent since she has a lot of stuff. I know what she left are things that are important to her. I smile whenever I find a childhood toy. I gave Kuya one of his squeaky toys last week and I told him Mom wanted him to have it. Imagine, that toy is probably 60 years old already, but Mom kept it. 

Tradition dictates that "babang luksa" happens after a year. We could now celebrate birthdays, attend parties, have weddings etc. Grieving for ones loved one never ends. I still cry whenever I remember losing my Dad and it will be the same with Mom. 

Love you Mom, forever. We'll be back home soon as you wished. Please intercede with Dad for us to finish all the paperwork! <3

*Babang luksa - lowering of mourning

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