Tito Ben

Being the youngest in our clan I grew up dotted on by my Mom’s brothers and sisters. I was the cute little thing passed from one uncle and aunt to cousins during our Christmas reunions. I have many photos of this and notedly photos with my uncles carrying me. 

I particularly had three very different uncles (my Mom’s brothers). Tito Tony, the noisiest one who loved doing pranks and joke around. He was the most malambing of all and I remember always hugging him because he had a big belly. He would always send pistachio from Saudi Arabia when he worked there and I remember creating a Christmas tree for him using pistachio nuts (yeah I used to be very creative!). He believed on living on the edge and still drank Coke even when his leg already got amputated due to diabetes. I learned from him that you have to live life to the fullest and always keep your family close.

Tito Mon was the uncle with the moustache. He brooded a lot but also laughed a lot. He gave me a lot of advise and was a powerhouse marketing man back in the day. He lived with us off and on for many years and he would regale us with stories during meals. He suffered a lot being away from his family for more than 2 decades, but received forgiveness and reconciliation just before he passed away. I learned from him that even though you make mistakes you have to rise up and make up for it. 

The third uncle is my Tito Ben. My godfather twice over, in baptism and in our wedding. He was the quiet one and was part of the military. I was always in awe of him because he always stood tall. He looked a lot like my grandfather who I didn’t meet. He was was always concerned about my safety since I travel a lot and scolded me each every time we saw each other in the last 5 years for traveling by land in a part in the Philippines which he deemed unsafe. 

My Tito Ben, my second dad passed away last week. 

The last time I visited him in the hospital he was very jolly despite the pain he was probably experiencing having his lungs drained (I know I’ve been through that too). He finally explained to me why he was concerned for my safety. I didn’t know that was the last time I would see him alive. He hugged me and said he loved me. 

Tito Ben went through a lot of hardships for his family, but he faced all the challenges head on. I never heard him complain, he just always found ways to make things work. He is also only the second person I know who’s remained faithful to his marriage of more than 50 years (first one is my Dad!). And oh, I also just found out that Tito Ben loves to write and is great with communication and PR. (I always thought I got my love for writing just from my Dad, it really runs pala in the family!).

My Tito Ben was given full military honours last Saturday. I believe he truly deserved it since lived an honourable life serving God, his country, and most especially, his family. 

Farewell Tito Ben, now I know you’re with Dad, Tito Tony and Tito Mon. It was really strange dreaming about that a few months back. It was probably their way of warning me that you’d soon be gone too. Please watch over us from up there. Don’t worry about Tita Ming, Titay and Mom, they will be loved and cared for by the whole family.