Saturday, April 18, 2009

Pagtatanan (to Elope)

The thought has crossed my mind several times because of the long list of stuff one has to do for a wedding. A one day event that takes months and months of preparation. It can be crammed but you'll probably end up really ugly on your wedding day because you won't get any sleep. 

I just thought of writing about eloping because I remember that it has occured several times in my family. My paternal grandparents eloped! Nanay was chinese and during her time it was unheard of to marry a Filipino, so they eloped. I have an aunt who also eloped, I think because Tatay was very strict. And then my buddy-cousin also eloped. O diba uso sa pamilya!

But then at my age it would be shameful even to think about it. LOL.

So why do couples elope anyway?

1. Because their parents are against the relationship
2. Because they are forbidden to be together because of their race
3. Because their religion is different
4. Because they don't want to bother getting permission or the blessing of their parents so they just elope and just announce they're married already
5. Because they are very much in love (like some artistas who eventually annul their marriage)

Save for celebrities who eloped and eventually broke-up, all those who eloped in my family have had successful marriages. My aunt even had a grand wedding during their 50th wedding anniversary because they never had a real wedding. 

Would you consider eloping?


  1. thought about too when we were planning for our wedding. actually, it was my fault. i was the one who insisted for a one year engagement period. my MIL was wondering why when she wanted the wedding 6 months from our engagement. :D akala ko kasi, papayat pa ako. hehe.

    but you owe it to yourself to have the wedding that you've wanted and dreamed off. patience is the key and make sure the wedding is something that you both want.

    the important thing is that you will be there, your future hubby will be there and the priest will be there. the rest will be easy.

    good luck!

  2. We had a client inquiry who jokingly considered eloping with her fiance because getting married is expensive. :D

  3. Guilty. My family was against the marriage. I was only 19. Big big drama back then. They're fine now.

  4. aside from the obvious expenses a wedding has, in a way, it's also a training ground for starting to make decision after decision together. what used to be deciding for yourself as a single person, is now one that has to be taken up with your partner and come to a consensus that both of you agree on.

    The wedding preparations as training ground may be an expensive way to train for it, but it comes with the preparations the communication and the experience of functioning as a unit.

  5. Elopping or Tanan is a Filipino Tradition that my Uncle Virgilio Enriquez Caled "Ang Sikolohiya ng Buhay ng Ating Lahi" Where the everyday life becames a Psychology of our Tradition as in my blog Virgilio Enriquez is the Father of Filipino Psychology " ama ng Sikolohiyang Pilipino. visit

  6. Anonymous6:00 AM

    I married a filipina, and would have eloped if I had a time machine to do things over again.

    What started out as the two of us wanting a simple ceremony with only parents, immediate family, and close friends turned into my mother-in-law's dream wedding that she could never afford in the Phillipines.

    My in-laws ended up taking over the plans, and every time we tried to step up and stop the madness, my in-laws would say that it's already been arranged and cancelling the wedding would upset the relatives and god-parents. Furthermore, they cared more about impressing their extended family than arranging a wedding in line with our preferences.

    Fortunately, we moved 2000 miles away from the in-laws, and they can't meddle in our affairs anymore.

  7. @Nightbandit45 poor you! Good thing you moved away from them.