Miracle Sundays: Work with All Your Heart

 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” (Colossians 3:23, NIV)

I once saved my allowance to buy my Mom a birthday gift. It was a standee that had the bible verse quoted above. It was shortened version that said, "Do all your work with love" and it had a cartoon drawing of a smiling lady. I don't remember how old I was then, but I remember why I got it for my Mom. I was always being scolded for being messy and thought maybe that would soften her up. 

She kept it in the bathroom and I think it might still be there. I saw it everytime I went to the bathroom and I guess it reminded me to do everything with all my heart. I probably went over and beyond because my heart had to be repaired and the stress ate my lungs too, haha. I gave it my all and really had a hard time letting go. All my doctors were in agreement that the stress from work was eventually going to kill me. 

I eventually found peace when I decided to go. I prayed hard because I was scared. How could I live if I didn't have income? My maintenance medications alone cost a lot monthly and it would be dangerous if I scrimp on it. I didn't want to be a burden to my family, so I prayed harder. I prayed and lifted all my worries to God. Eventually things worked out and I realized that God was redirecting me to be somewhere else. 

I would probably be gone now if I stood my ground and stayed. The stress would have deteriorated me further. Sometimes you just really need to listen hard and let go. It will bring you peace. The past week has been challenging for me. I pushed my body hard so I could take care of my boys. As always, I gave it all my heart and I'm happy I was able to prepare their meals yesterday because it was raining so hard the whole day. 

Thank you Lord for always taking care of us. Happy Sunday everyone!

#BeKind #StaySafe 

Filling the Void, How I Ended My Existential Crisis

Two years ago I experienced a crisis. I've always known that the time would come I would move on and go back to my old life. It came to a point when I considered creating two identities of my social media accounts. I wanted to separate my work and personal posts. It seemed like a good idea and my counselor agreed. Eventually I realized that wasn't the right way to do it. I had to find a way to accept all aspects of myself. 

My friend Marv posted an article from HBR.org, "What Happens When Your Career Becomes Your Whole Identity". The article described exactly the existential crisis I went through. What made it the struggle worse for me is being far away from home. I always felt that I put my life on hold when I moved to another country. 

I super love my work. I thrived in the challenges I faced everyday. I'd like to believe I achieved a lot. I was also conscious about having a good work-life balance. I would usually end work by six or six thirty. The problem was I'd be so spent by then, I just ended up resting at night. I couldn't also completely turn off "work mode" because most of my friends were part of the communities I was managing. 

I only managed to put things in proper perspective when my doctor mandated me to stay offline. It took six weeks before I started to clam down. Another three months before I accepted that my situation has changed. And another couple of months before the existential crisis ended. This is what I had to do -

1. Accept that there are things that you cannot change. 

2. Accept that I was where I supposed to be in the past 10 years. Regret only provides value if you learn from it. 

3. Accept that whatever I did, however I did it is part of who I am and that's how I roll. [I give my all in whatever I do.] 

That is the problem when your career becomes your whole identity. I didn't ask for it. It just happened because I was chosen for the responsibility. I'd like to believe that the relationships that I've established would stay and evolve to a different level. Realistically it will change because I can't provide the same value anymore. 

My contemporaries from 15 years ago have all moved on. They all have led very interesting lives in the past few years. I just wanted to share today that we've decided to go back home. It was not an easy decision to make, but unfortunately the issues have left permanent body damage. My doctors think it will be better for me to recover surrounded by my family. I will focus on transitioning back home in the next few months. 

Day 7 Minimalism Challenge, Write your best qualities. Errr this is so awkward to write about haha. I guess I could say I'm flexible, creative, a planner, and a survivor. That's about what I could think about for now haha. 

CB///*Yr2/118 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/141 #NewG328 #Home86 #StayHome #BeKind 

Live Life, Don't Just Survive It

I have a friend, he's bubbly, always all over the place, always full of life. He lived month to month and he never seemed to worry about where to get money for rent, for his food, for his day to day life. The universe took care of him. He always received what he needed and he was happy. And his happiness is infectious. 

I always wondered how one could be that way. Living monthly through gigs and whatever comes your way. Most of my nephews and nieces and my son live that way and I've always been baffled about how they could work through gigs. I'm from the generation where things are compartmentalized. You work from 8 to 5 and then relax after. Kids nowadays prefer to work from job to job when they want to work. They enjoy life as they see fit. 

I was listening to Wil Dasovich's podcast this morning and he mentioned about living life not just surviving it. It made me think, "Am I living the life I want? Am I just surviving?" Right now I am trying to survive it since I'm sick, but I'm definitely not living the life I want. And honestly I think my nephews and nieces are on the right track. They may not have the stability of having an 8 to 5 job, but they are living the life they want. 

With my current condition I have been thinking a lot about whether I could still go back to my old life. Whenever I feel I can I slide back and get sick again. Recover has been a very bumpy road. Last Saturday I had a severe asthma attack, so the weekend was spent sleeping again. This morning I thought I'd try to be on my Chromebook for an hour to do online errands. I'm writing this post while having a migraine attack. It's really that bad and what it tells me is I can't go back to my old life in my current condition. Will I get well? I don't know when. 

I have been through a lot and I have always come out of things braver and stronger. Not having the energy and stamina to do anything has forced me to accept some hard truths. I am humbled by it. If there's one thing I want out of this is I want to live life happily with my family. 

CB///326 #StuckAtHomeDay/356 #StayHome #BeKind

Is Work Life Balance Achievable?

Important read for those just about to join the work-force. Congratulations graduates!

"Ngarag na ngarag na ako."

"I stayed up late coz I finished some work."

"Wiwi na lang ang pahinga."

Familiar? These are just some of the things I regularly hear from friends and I honestly try to emphatize (hehe). It does get annoying though when it's the same thing day in and day out because I believe that work is just work and you shouldn't let it eat you alive.

My Dad used to come home before sun set and I don't remember him coming home late from work (like never!). This meant that we all had to be home by sunset as well. It was really annoying for me when I was in college so I purposely came home just in time for dinner (7pm) [because I'm really stubborn].

What I learned though from my Dad was one should not work beyond work hours because beyond work hours is time for family and yourself. Looking back I rarely burned the midnight oil. I only stayed up late because I was reading a novel. I rarely did overtime much to the consternation of a previous boss who believed that one should be chained to your office desk. I just really believe that work should not be your life and that a company just pays you 8 hours per day to work. The other 16 should be spent doing your own stuff and sleeping.

"But there's so much to do at work."

Know your limits is the key to having good balance. It took me years to understand what "You don't have to do much to make an impact" meant. I used to work on a gazillion projects and I eventually realized that doing a lot didn't meant it was productive or impactful. It didn't mean either that my manager was happy about it. If it didn't sync with our targets, then it just didn't matter.

Find out what's important to your boss and make sure that's what you work on. At the beginning of each quarter I sit down with my boss to find out what is important to him. Oftentimes he just gives me general directions so that's when I figure out what to deliver by end of the quarter. I still work on other projects which are important to me, but what I highlight are the ones that hit the target directly.

Work on a process to hit your targets. I still get overwhelmed. I even hyperventilate at times when a goal is too moonshot. What works for me is when I break down the big hairy goal. When I know what exactly I need to deliver I then break it down to a process and then a schedule.

So is Work-Life Balance Achievable?

Of course it is! Discipline though is key in achieving this. I cut off work at 6pm and time after that is my time. I tried to attend late evening global meetings, but it was detrimental to my health (very bad for my heart) since it takes me several hours to cool down before sleeping. Weekends are sacred to me. I turned off email notifications on my phone and I made it a point to snooze my work hangout. I don't entertain work related messages on my FB so don't be offended if I respond to you by asking you to send me a message on my work email (I am not a millenial!).

Compartmentalize. I generally don't blur the lines between work and non-work. It's very hard though since I work with communities, but I think most people I work with get it and they respect that. I noticed that sometimes I lapse and I end up very stressed when this happens.

Have a get back to the happy path exercise. My doctor said that work stress cannot be avoided. It's there and will never go away. What helps is having a plan on how to manage stress. I recently hit the peak because I traveled for 2 straight weeks, then my big boss visited (that's always stressful!), then hubby arrived for a long visit. I didn't get enough rest so I ended up in a rut. To reboot myself I took a day off since my whole body hurt and I couldn't get out of bed. I slept and then when I was up I tapped on my creative side and quilted. It quickly got me out of the hole I was in.

And two important things to do to have balance: (1) Avoid negative people; and (2) Pray (having a rosary app on your phone helps!).

Achieving balance is a mindset. You have to choose to do it.