Self-Love: the Journey Back to Me

 It's the month of love and it's my new year! So I thought I'd move on now to how I want the rest of my year to be. I want the rest of my year to be full of love and I want to create more happy memories. 

Woke up early today to get my meds and breakfast out of the way. After that I worked on Sweetie's shampoo and then cleared out the kitchen trolley. I did those to understand my limits for now. I was exhausted before eleven so I retreated to the couch. I chanced upon this video by Bo Sanchez -

It got me thinking and I realized I really need to work on myself. In the past ten years since I moved to Singapore I gave up a huge part of my life. I failed to replenish my happiness tank. From watching Bo's video I realized I must not like myself too much because I put myself in this situation. I'm not going to dwell on it and will focus on healing. Here's what Bo advised to like yourself better -

"1 - Say no to toxic people; 2 - Activate your core needs; 3 - Change your self-dialogue; and 4 - Start  telling yourself what God tells you in the Word."

Today is my new year and this is the start of my journey back to me. 

And today's self-love comes in the form of a cupcake! Haha. 

CB///298 #StuckAtHomeDay/328 #StayHome #BeKind

You are Always Worth It

 "Be worth love, and love with come." - Louisa May Alcott

I'd like to think I'm in a better place today than I was a few days ago. I go through a roller coaster of emotions whenever I get sick. My seatmate asked me once how I cope when I get sick. He asked me this question after having a flu. He said he can't imagine how I cope again and again when I get sick. 

It's a struggle. The moment I feel pain I start getting sucked in a black hole. It went really bad last year, I had to take a break (it is probably PTSD). One thing I was told I needed to do was to love myself. It took awhile, but I eventually learned the reason why I had to do that for myself. 

(Source: LoveYourselfPH)

My doctor called me several times today. He had been studying my tests and took time to explain things to me. I told him I really appreciate the effort he put in connecting the dots and giving me advise on what to do next. He said, "You have suffered enough and you are a nice person. You are worth it." 

My heart is full. I am so grateful to my doctor for putting in so much effort to read the reports. It gave me so much hope and the strength to keep fighting. Thank you my dear doctor <3 

For my friends who are also struggling, please always remember... you are worth it. And thank you to all my family and friends who have been reaching out to check on me and to pray for me. I really appreciate it. <3 <3 

#CB//216 #StuckAtHomeDay/246 #WFH145 #StayHome #BeKind

The Right to Say No

Saying no is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I learned it the hard way last year when I melted away like a candle. I eventually had to take a break to rest and recover. 

I am a prolific multitasker. Redundant noh? Yes, that's how bad I am. I thrive when I'm busy. I'm perennially multitasking. I'm watching a YouTube video right now while blogging. Maybe I have two brains hahaha. But this is precisely why I got burnt out. I always have piles of things I need to do. Eventually I got tired and was recommended to take a break. 

In the last 14 years I only take breaks during Christmas. Normally I only use half of my VLs every year and then it gets carried over to the next year. I oftentimes get a notification from HR around November that I should take a break hahaha. Am I a workaholic? Perhaps I am, but I usually end work before sunset and I don't log-in until the next day. 

Today I had to say no. It was really hard for me and I felt bad. I shouldn't have felt bad. While browsing videos to watch I came across this video by celebrity host Boy Abunda. It was a good reminder for me that I have every right to say no. Watch the video here -

Do you find yourself getting stressed a lot? Perhaps you need to think about your priorities and whether you are committing to so many things. For me it came to a point where I was disappointed in myself because I felt I rendered myself unproductive. That's how you feel when the quality of your output is affected. I was so frustrated today because I shouldn't have felt bad about saying no. I'm proud of myself though because I was able to say no, I just need to work on reminding myself that I love myself and that it was for my own good. 

What about you? Do you struggle to say no?

#CB//204 #StuckAtHomeDay/234 #WFH139 #StayHome #BeKind