The other I was discussing profusely parenthood with a friend. Well, he started it and it felt quite weird coz I never really had that kind of discussion on parenthood ever in my life.
These were the things he asked me:
Do parents shape the full personality of a child?The upbringing of a person depends a lot on one’s parents. Francis Kong in his book, “What Don’t You Grow Up Dad?” shared that "Our children simply reflect the kind of learning they pick up from their parents". An apple tree wouldn’t bear oranges would it?
If the child grows up to be a delinquent member of society should we blame the parents fully for it?
Would you bring up your children the same way your parents did?
But should we blame parents fully for the delinquencies of their children? Yes and no. I think parents factor in a lot on one’s personality, but they do not control your choices. God gave each one of us a mind and a soul and the freedom of choice. Our parents will not always be there when we do judgment calls. And we shouldn’t blame them for all the crimes/indiscretions in the world.
I am sure each and everyone of us rant about our parents. Remember the time when you were a teenager and you felt that your parents don’t understand you at all? Me against the world? Yeah, I went through that as well. My friend who I was talking with said he’d definitely not bring up his children the same way his parents raised him.
I said the same thing before. When I had Miguel I said I’d bring him up differently. But, ya know, there is no such thing as a parent manual and when you are a first time parent you can’t help but refer to how your parents raised you. But, of course, I’m “editing” along the way and I try to avoid doing the stuff I thought annoyed me a lot. It’s not easy being a parent, much less being Mom and Dad at the same time, but I think with lots of love and prayers I’ll manage to bring up Miguel with the right values and spirituality and strength.
My Mom, she never panics. You won’t even see her flinch over a wound, cry over a problem. Put her in a crisis situation and she’ll tell you how to solve it matter of factly. That strength is what I am thankful for because it’s an important survival tool and I will forever be grateful for that. I hope that I’ll be able to teach Miguel the same thing.
Miguel knows best.