Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Single vs. Married? Which is Better?

The sky must be falling!

That's what my best friend said when I broached the subject to her. She knows that the sight of wedding gowns make me hyperventilate. She was simply aghast when I brought up the topic. No, not aghast, alarmed. So what is really better anyway?

I have definitely enjoyed my independence since my runaway bride drama years ago (not literally okay). So why the question? The subject of settling down has just been cropping up at home. My parents have been showing too much concern about my single existence (rolling my eyes) - I've been getting interrogated every night - "don't you have a boyfriend now?". Egads. I'm afraid they'll soon take up the offer of our dear priest-friends to put up a billboard to sell me. Urk!

Anyway, most of my friends are already married or are getting married (check out my Twisted Wedding Planner projects). And they rant, mind you, as much as us singletons do.

For my newly married friends there's the adjustment period. Being BF and GF is not really enough to get to know your partner, no matter how long your relationship was before you got married. My Mom still sometimes complains about how my Dad could mess up his cabinet the day after she fixed it. Or how she got so shocked over my Dad using the laundry bin as target shooting practice when they were newly married. Then there's the cooking dilemma, financial dilemma, sleeping dilemma and whatever.

What really scares me are the rants of my friends who have been married for a long time - both for guys and gals - a couple of them are just coasting on their marriage. Some have or have had relationships with others. It's true, but there's nothing I can really do but listen and pray for them. But why does this happen? Is it the lack of attention? Has all the passion gone? No more spice? Some said it's because they've gotten bored.

It is hard for me to fathom because I grew up with parents who are so in love with each other, so glued together - I never saw them fight actually. Well they had tampuhan once, a few years ago, but it was just that tampuhan. They don't even remember what it was about. They've really stayed true to their vow.

I must admit, my single girlfriends and I, we rant a lot about not finding "the right one" yet, but another part of me tells me it's better to be single and independent than to be tied up and messed up. My happily married friends would contest that being married is the way to go and that it is a MUST to get married. Hmmm... provided you find the right one that is!

So what do you think? What's better? Being single or married?

P.S. Don't get any ideas! I have no intentions of ending up the spinster in my generation! Read up on what's my ideal guy.