Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Single vs. Married? Which is Better?

The sky must be falling!

That's what my best friend said when I broached the subject to her. She knows that the sight of wedding gowns make me hyperventilate. She was simply aghast when I brought up the topic. No, not aghast, alarmed. So what is really better anyway?

I have definitely enjoyed my independence since my runaway bride drama years ago (not literally okay). So why the question? The subject of settling down has just been cropping up at home. My parents have been showing too much concern about my single existence (rolling my eyes) - I've been getting interrogated every night - "don't you have a boyfriend now?". Egads. I'm afraid they'll soon take up the offer of our dear priest-friends to put up a billboard to sell me. Urk!

Anyway, most of my friends are already married or are getting married (check out my Twisted Wedding Planner projects). And they rant, mind you, as much as us singletons do.

For my newly married friends there's the adjustment period. Being BF and GF is not really enough to get to know your partner, no matter how long your relationship was before you got married. My Mom still sometimes complains about how my Dad could mess up his cabinet the day after she fixed it. Or how she got so shocked over my Dad using the laundry bin as target shooting practice when they were newly married. Then there's the cooking dilemma, financial dilemma, sleeping dilemma and whatever.

What really scares me are the rants of my friends who have been married for a long time - both for guys and gals - a couple of them are just coasting on their marriage. Some have or have had relationships with others. It's true, but there's nothing I can really do but listen and pray for them. But why does this happen? Is it the lack of attention? Has all the passion gone? No more spice? Some said it's because they've gotten bored.

It is hard for me to fathom because I grew up with parents who are so in love with each other, so glued together - I never saw them fight actually. Well they had tampuhan once, a few years ago, but it was just that tampuhan. They don't even remember what it was about. They've really stayed true to their vow.

I must admit, my single girlfriends and I, we rant a lot about not finding "the right one" yet, but another part of me tells me it's better to be single and independent than to be tied up and messed up. My happily married friends would contest that being married is the way to go and that it is a MUST to get married. Hmmm... provided you find the right one that is!

So what do you think? What's better? Being single or married?

P.S. Don't get any ideas! I have no intentions of ending up the spinster in my generation! Read up on what's my ideal guy.


  1. Anonymous10:04 PM

    mahaba-habang inuman....

  2. @lady cess - i think so! don't you think we're overdue for one? and we need to celebrate javier's arrival!

  3. Anonymous5:51 AM

    "being married is the way to go and that it is a MUST to get married. Hmmm... provided you find the right one that is!"

    I agree with that statement, well mostly. The problem is just finding that right one.

  4. Anonymous7:19 AM

    oh my god! oh my god! sabi ko na nga ba e! absent siya sa ym lately e. javier is here??? kelan?

  5. Blessed single is not that bad :)

  6. Anonymous10:59 AM

    Yeah, single4 blessedness isn't all that bad :)

  7. Anonymous1:21 PM

    my guess is, there is no need for you to choose now, only when the opportunity comes. cross the bridge when you get there.

    you can choose to be married and be happy, or be single and happy. both ways, it will be up to you on how you deal with each particular situation.

    what is important also is once you choose, you have to live up to it.

  8. @intsik - Thanks for sharing! I'll check out your blog :)

    @Chris - hey! how are you? we haven't seen you in a while. let's gimmick!

    @lady cess - yes! she texted me yesterday morning, around 1:30 a.m., nagla-labor na daw siya! I haven't heard from her yet, so she must be so dazed pa rin. I'm going to cry!

    @juned and mae - I think with all my eccentricities and kaartehan mas okay maging single ako haha.

  9. The question is not whether being single or married is better. Each state has its perks and quirks. The focus should be on giving your best every single day and life should be good -- whether you are single or married.

    Also, it may take forever to find the right guy. It may be easier for you to decide to be the right girl. =)

  10. i like the idea of WYSIWYG.. its like unconditional love.. :-)

    someone ask me too about my ideal girl... and its like your asking for someone to be like that.. so i always blew my favorite line: "nothing in particular, so be it! come what may!"

    waiting is like expecting...

  11. Anonymous4:51 PM

    Like it or not, we live in a "couples-oriented" world. You aren't a "couple", then you are not fitting in.
    Q: How long you want to be an island?

    It has been shown that married men outlive single men - statistically.
    Q: want to stay single & gamble on beating the odds?

    I say no to both. I am single-again after 18 years marriage. I am out there looking hard as I can. Won't settle for 2nd rate ( tons of them around ) but 1st class IS out there. I turn off the "stay single" and "if you're single, it's God Will" types. Neither of these folks knows what they are talking about. God is my main ally in finding my next relationship ( I am only looking for one more to see me through remainder of my life ).

    Come on single guys - we can do this - she is out there.

    Dan T in Ponte Vedra, FL

  12. Anonymous6:14 AM

    Love is like money; if you follow your dreams in life everything else will naturally follow. I mean, think about it. If a person were to become that concert pianist, write that novel, or travel the world instead of obsessing over their relationship status, they would naturally become the kind of person that others are drawn to.

    And if you're becoming your best self and the relationship still doesn't happen, who cares? The world does not remember people because they were married or unmarried; people are remembered for being their most extraordinary selves--and for their kindnesses.

    In short, marriages and mini-van dreams are a dime a dozen (yawn). Flip the "couples-oriented" world the bird and shine, shine on, baby!

  13. Anonymous5:41 AM

    Being single is better, thats I think!