A Sweet Valentine

Celebrated Valentine's with Sweetie and Miggy with a quick visit to Mom. Sweetie woke me up with a bouquet of flowers. He got white and pink roses for the first time. He usually gives me white roses, but mixed it with pink to be different. Miggy cooked us brunch and we had a hearty meal. It fueled us for most of the day. 

Dinner was super late since I cooked tuna spaghetti and taught Miggy how to fry embotido with egg. We ended up sleeping at 3 in the morning since I had a brilliant idea to marinate tapa. It took the three of us to slice the beef and then I took so long preparing the marinade, haha. I can never be a true chef since I'm very slow around the kitchen. I was planning to bake today, but my sleep deprived brain would probably forget to put in an ingredient or two. It happens. 

Looking back at previous Vdays, we usually spent it at home. We haven't bothered going out since the traffic is usually bad and in Singapore everything was always full. It's either we cook our own food or we order a special meal. It's easier and calmer that way. 

Our special meal yesterday was some Lola Nena's triple cheese doughnuts and pichi-pichi. I also got some embotido so we could try it out. We also got our favorite Calea chocolate cake from our ever-indulgent friend Anne (thanks again!!!). I added some extra exercises to burn more calories. Might attempt to use the bike later if I don't sweat enough from gardening haha. 

How was your Vday?

#BeKind #StayHome #VoteWisely

Just Let It Happen

Finished watching Mayim Bialik's show where she guested Kunal Nayyar where they talked how Kunal became an actor and his mental health journey. I enjoyed watching them on Big Bang Theory so I got curious to see another side of them. Kunal Nayyar was born in England, grew up in India and studied acting in the US. He said he decided to become an actor after doing a play. His role "Raj" in the Big Bang Theory was his first show (so he got really lucky). 

Kunal narrated how he was hit by anxiety. He was driving when it happened and he said he didn't know what he was feeling -- which is exactly what anxiety is, he explained. He got help and started his quest to address the issue. One of the things Kunal mentioned is to just let things happen. What helped him was having a safe space and person he could talk to. Instead of taking medication he decided to practice meditation. It took a long time, but he said one day he was finally able to quiet down the voices in his head.

"You cannot outthink thinking." - Kunal Nayyar

Mayim said she never noticed that Kunal was going through something when they were working together on Big Bang Theory. She said she admired how much Kunal had grown through the years. She even joked she'd be his first follower if he decided to create a cult or religious order. I get easily distracted, but for some strange reason I managed to focus on what Kunal was saying throughout the show. 

I read that anxiety happens when you don't feel you have control. "Just let it happen" resonated well with me because sometimes when you allow what you fear to happen, you eventually realize it's not scary after all. I remember that time I realized I needed help was when my physiotherapist asked me how come I hadn't gone to my doctor since I was feeling unwell. 

She stopped our session and had me call to make an appointment. I honestly didn't want to call, but I did. Went the next day and slowly got better. After that it took me three weeks before I mustered the courage to reach out to my friend's psychiatrist to get help. It's been almost a year since that day with my physiotherapist and I'm grateful she really took time to help me. 

I thought I'd write about anxiety this Valentine's day because I know how it feels to be anxious during this day. I spent many years feeling incomplete during holidays. I have Sweetie and Miggy and they've been making sure I feel loved every day. I still have bouts of anxiety, but as Kunal mentioned make sure you have a safe space and a safe person who you can talk to, and do meditation to find peace. And pray because God loves you and He will always be there for you. 

“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13).

#BeKind #StayHome #VoteWisely

Love and Waiting

“Don't rush into love. You'll find the person meant for you when you least expect it.” 
 ― Franzie Gubatina

It's the week before Valentine's. Yesterday one of my friends posted an announcement from their school instructing students to wear the appropriate shirt color based on their "love status". Married? Wear green. Single and available? Wear white. Bitter? Wear violet. And the list went on.

I remember the struggle I always had during Valentine's before. There were years I didn't have a boyfriend and there were years I had a bf but they were not really the best at romancing (bad boyfriends RIP). And let's not even go the loveless Christmases I had.

The struggle was real and it came to a point where I prayed to Papa God that if by September 30, 2007 I wasn't in a relationship I would accept the fact that I was destined for single blessedness. I planned that if by then I didn't have a boyfriend I would enroll for my doctorate already. (Remember if one has a goal, one must have deadlines.) My prayer was for God to finally write my love story.

I had been having a recurring dream since I was in my teens. I'd dream I was walking down the aisle, but I never saw the groom. The only time I saw the "groom" was three months after I met Jay. I woke up confused since at that time our friendship was just blossoming. It did cross my mind though that he was a really nice guy and ideal. I shared this dream with Jonas and he counselled that I should just set it aside and not tell Jay about the dream. So I did.

My friendship with Jay blossomed. He was courting another girl at that time and I was flirting with other boys (hahaha). Apparently Jay's best friend, Kasuy, had already been pointing out to him that he liked me and that the girl he was courting wasn't the one. I was at that time "dating" someone else, but I was secretly hoping that maybe my friendship with Jay would blossom to something else since we just simply clicked. This thought I would always set aside since he was my guy best friend.

But lo and behold when I went to the US Jay kept messaging me. He was apparently feeling jealous over a guy and when I got home he proposed. And that's how God wrote my love story.

So it isn't really about meeting someone, getting swept off your feet. It's about developing into a relationship and having God guide you through it.

Doctorate? What doctorate? Hahaha. (Shhh please don't tell Maggie the plan has been shelved for now.)

My Modern Day Prince

I was grinning widely when I was waiting for the lift this afternoon. One of my colleagues commented, "Oh you look really happy." I said I was really happy because I had just received a surprise from Sweetie. He mentioned a few days ago that I was going to be surprised at the least time I expected it. I thought though that since I was in Singapore and he was in Manila that he would just surprise me when I'm back home this weekend.

I was wrong.

As usual.

I have been quite busy hopping from one meeting to another (that is my life at work!) in the past week that I had totally forgotten that it's Valentine's. I even had mindlessly scheduled my check-up on Valentine's day (well they say it's "hearts" day so it's just the perfect day to have my 100% pumpin' heart).

I was in a meeting which stretched to about 2 hours and I had been chatting with Sweetie when I left my desk to meet my guest. I briefly saw this photo on G+ -

And I thought, "Awww Sweetie made a card for me!" I told myself it was something I'd look forward to seeing when I got home.

Me being dense.

As usual.

When my guest left I went back to my desk and saw the end of the bouquet -- which I thought was the bottom of a wine bottle! <my eyes fail me even with eyeglasses> I actually felt quite annoyed coz it was on my keyboard! But lo and behold! When I picked it up I was surprised to see that it was a bouquet! A bouquet of white roses! And there's only one person in this world who gives me white roses... with a copy of the home-made card. [Read the link if you're wondering why he gave me white roses, yup it was a FAQ throughout the day].

So I sat there. Stunned. Surprised. Ecstatic. But I managed to discreetly have my moment because I didn't want to disturb my seatmates (who were all not on their desk when I looked around). And then I blushed and tried to contain the warm, fuzzy feeling that was spreading all over me.

It is actually the third year Sweetie and I are not together for Valentine's. 2012 I was in Singapore stuck in a bus for 2 hours with two teenagers making moony-moony eyes with each other (ugh). 2013 I was in ICU and he already had to go home. And now, well here again in Singapore. But every single year we always surprise each other (my surprise this year though didn't work out, boo) and what's important is to make each other feel loved and important (and feel like a princess!).

So who ever said that romance was dead?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Are You Ready for Valentine's

I just received an invitation from Max's to attend a Valentine's event they have for bloggers. I'm not sure if I'd be able to make it since I'll likely be busy running around Manila on Tuesday (we'll see). The invite triggered a funny memory though.

This time five years ago my now-ninang Janette gave me and Stephanie a public challenge. We had to find a date for Valentine's. Stephanie and I had a bet. The person who won't be able to find a date would have to treat the other to a trip to Boracay. We were both so busy back then (so what's new?), so we eventually both lost. But I think technically Honey owes me a trip to Boracay! Haha.

I mentioned though in my blog post on "Why I Didn't Have a Valentine" that I did have merienda with someone on Valentine's day. We both only realized it was Valentine's when Max's served us a small cake with a tiny heart on it. The person who I had an unofficial date with was... Sweetie! We were just friends back then and it never occurred to us that we'd eventually marry.

And, wow, it's been five years since that challenge to find a Valentine! I had given up on finding the right one a few months after that, but Sweetie came along just before my deadline. Had he not come along I'd probably have a doctorate by now. Haha. It's been a long journey for me, but the best thing I did was to just leave things to God's hands. well I did plead to Him on the way home from the US that my deadline was just 2 days away and I was giving up already. Sweetie proposed a few hours after I got home. Looking back I was pretty jetlagged back then, but that's another story.

More kakiligan...

When God Writes Your Love Story (part 1)
When God Writes Your Love Story (part 2)
The Perfect Proposal
The Wedding Day

Love, Love, Love (a follow-up on Single vs. Married? Which is Better?)

Four years ago I wrote a post entitled, "Single vs. Married? Which is Better?" and strangely enough it's still getting traffic and comments! I had no clue back then about my status four years forward. Sweetie and I weren't even a couple yet when I wrote that post! It just goes to show that you'll never really know when your one true love will come because it will just happen!

I had already given up that I would find my one true love. I gave myself a deadline that if by September 30, 2007 I didn't have a boyfriend then I'd take that as a sign that I was just meant for a life of single blessedness. I was already planning on taking a PHD! Anyway, Sweetie proposed on September 29, 2007 and let's just say the rest is history!

I thought I'd make a follow-up post about the question I posted four years ago. I have to say that it really depends on the person really. I have an aunt who never married because she did not want to despite the fact that she had a lot of suitors! And she's about 80 now and still happily single. She dots on all of her siblings, nephews and nieces.

I've been married for more than a year now and I can say the fun never stops! Granted that there are things that are routine (i.e. chores), but there's a lot of stuff you can enjoy together. I mentioned in my previous post that there's a lot of dilemmas that you would go through, but I'd say two heads are better than one when dealing with disasters (read up on our disasters on our marriage blog). Life is so much better with a better half to enjoy it with.

So for me I can now say that being married is better provided you find your one true love. And for my single friends, stay single until you find your one true love! Stay away from guys who will just give you a lot of heartache and tears.

Happy Valentine's everyone!

The Valentine Search is On

Whoopsies! So the cat’s out of the bag. My bet with Stephanie’s no longer a secret and it’s a riot!

Friendly-friend Janette blogged about it. So read it there. I’m quite embarrassed about it (red-faced), but hey, it’s out so I’m just here to explain why.

Wait... wait... lemme hyperventilate for awhile...

Why the search?

1. It’s something I’ve been ignoring. It’s been a while since I really thought about these things… okay, okay I’ll say the word… love (there that wasn’t so hard). Gulp. Janette was flabbergasted with my top 10 to-do list for the year. She said, “How do you intend to find him if it’s not even in our plans?” Good point. So I’m adding it as my 11th thing to do this year. I guess I never really thought it’s achievable that’s why I didn’t right it down.

2. I’ve been too busy. When you’re too busy with work this thing really becomes the least priority. My parents keep asking me when’s the next time I’m going to go out. Don’t get me wrong, I do go out but it’s just that I guess I haven’t met the right person.

3. It’s all Bo Sanchez’ fault. I’ve gotten so messed up reading so many books on dating (The Rules, He’s Not Into You, Boy Meets Girl) that I’ve ended up being scared to do it! Anyway, his newest bestseller “How to Find Your One True Love” has changed my views. Kuya Bo has an assignment in his book that Stephanie and I are helping each other to complete (yes moral support needed!).

4. And finally, my best friends are going crazy over me. My poor best friends have been taking care of me all these years and I think I’ve driven them to the brink of insanity. So, my dear future SO, please show up soon coz they might end up in the mental hospital already.

Qualifications and How to Apply (ha-ha-ha)

Well… hmm… it’s in Janette’s blog. But, overall, I think you should just read “How to Find Your One True Love”.

Promise, di ako magsusungit. Or you can go through my screening committee (ha-ha): Darwin, Tappy, Anne , Janette, Ely and/or Jay.

Read my thoughts about loving in my article "When God Writes Your Love Story".