Love, Love, Love (a follow-up on Single vs. Married? Which is Better?)

Four years ago I wrote a post entitled, "Single vs. Married? Which is Better?" and strangely enough it's still getting traffic and comments! I had no clue back then about my status four years forward. Sweetie and I weren't even a couple yet when I wrote that post! It just goes to show that you'll never really know when your one true love will come because it will just happen!

I had already given up that I would find my one true love. I gave myself a deadline that if by September 30, 2007 I didn't have a boyfriend then I'd take that as a sign that I was just meant for a life of single blessedness. I was already planning on taking a PHD! Anyway, Sweetie proposed on September 29, 2007 and let's just say the rest is history!

I thought I'd make a follow-up post about the question I posted four years ago. I have to say that it really depends on the person really. I have an aunt who never married because she did not want to despite the fact that she had a lot of suitors! And she's about 80 now and still happily single. She dots on all of her siblings, nephews and nieces.

I've been married for more than a year now and I can say the fun never stops! Granted that there are things that are routine (i.e. chores), but there's a lot of stuff you can enjoy together. I mentioned in my previous post that there's a lot of dilemmas that you would go through, but I'd say two heads are better than one when dealing with disasters (read up on our disasters on our marriage blog). Life is so much better with a better half to enjoy it with.

So for me I can now say that being married is better provided you find your one true love. And for my single friends, stay single until you find your one true love! Stay away from guys who will just give you a lot of heartache and tears.

Happy Valentine's everyone!

Love2Love2Love

One of my most popular posts is about relationships where I ask the question, "Is it better to be single or married?" I wrote this post during the time when I was contemplating single blessedness already since I just couldn't seem to find the right one. I gave myself a deadline back then, if by end of the third quarter of 2007 I didn't have a boyfriend I would enrol for PHD and I'd be single forever. I know it's crazy, but having deadlines keep me sane. 

I was on the plane back from the US on September 28 and I told God, "I give up. It's a sign for me to stay single forever." That was my last thought before I fell asleep. Who would have guessed that my best friend would tell me his feelings less than 24 hours later? I secretly liked him, but I had already accepted that we'll just be friends. Anyway, just-in-time for my deadline and my life totally changed since then. 

It's only today that I found the answer to my question, "Is it better to be single or married?" I think it really depends on you and your "constitution". Commitment is very important and being in a relationship is not all about being sweet and mushy-mushy all the time (ask Sweetie, he's been nursing me back to good health for four months now and I do get really cranky at times).

"My Dad gave this inspirational talk yesterday when he and my Mom joined their friends in a marriage vow renewal in time for Valentine's day. Dad shared this bit over dinner today -

In a few months, my wife and I will be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. Now you must be wondering what our secret is for staying together. There are just three things to remember:

One,  put God at the center of your relationship. He is, after all, the best referee there is.

Two, always be together for any problem or situation, be it financially, a physical problem etc. (i.e. if he need to live abroad, then you should go too!). (Mom said, "Laging may bantay?" LOL.)

Three, always put to rest any argument before you sleep. Never go to sleep with ill-feelings for each other. 

That has been our secret all through-out the years."

I get to have lunch and dinner with my parents every single day and I can't help but be envious of them since they've really stuck it out with each other. I never saw them fight and they're still very sweet with each other. They used to be quite formal when I was younger, but now they banter a lot. And Dad still manages to make my Mom blush every once in a while. 

And I hope and pray that in due time I'd just be like them.

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For the first time in my life I got to celebrate Valentine's "properly". And one of the bonuses was watching Love2Love2Love at the Araneta Coliseum with Sweetie. MYMP, Freestyle and Side A performed favorite love songs and it was a blast. I have to give it to Jinky of Freestyle as well for being the best performer last night! She brought the house down! And can you imagine Joey G. of Side A raising the roof and doing a Bubble Gang chicken dance? He did! Here's some photos -

Also got to watch Rachelle Ann Go's "Falling in Love" Concert at the Music Museum. I was certainly impressed with her talent. The video on Myx showed last weekend and it does not do her talent any justice. You have to watch her perform live.  

Single Awareness Day

This day last year I was a singleton celebrating Valentine's Day... in an airplane. Arrived in Manila at around 10 in the evening and waited for the printer to deliver some materials I had printed. I was also rushing about since I had to be early the next day to do ingress for an exhibit. Little did I know that the person I had a belated Valentine's merienda with (well not really to celebrate Valentine's) would become my Sweetie!

I couldn't stop laughing over my dear friend Sorsi's recount of how her family and friends in the US have been trying to set her up with someone, anyone actually. Head over to That Girl Was Me and check out her latest adventures. I know I'm the one to blame for some of the horrors she went through recently and I try my best to cheer her up and motivate her to hang-on and aim to get the best. Hey, I waited years before I got found by the right one and here's how I managed to hang-on:

1. I read books! I went through Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Boy Meets Girl", Greg Bernhardt's "He's Just Not Into You", "The Rules" (forgot who the author is sorry), and the best was Bo Sanchez' "How to Find Your One True Love".

2. I met boys! At some point I really didn't want to date anymore. I made a mandate not to date anyone for a whole year after my last relationship. Why? To prevent rebound since it was a 7-year long relationship. I only actually started dating 2 years after only to get frustrated since I didn't realize that even friends would be such boleros. After reading Kuya Bo's book, I kept myself busy and did my homework of meeting 5 single guys every week.

3. I made friends! I will not be a hypocrite and say I did not start falling for some of them, but hey I'm a girl and it's quite easy for girls to fall. I knew though when to stop and did not give my heart to any of them. I also made it a point to keep the boys I met as friends (save for a couple who became Mr. Hyde after a while). I also managed to make a lot of new friends last year from all over the country (and the world).

4. I made peace with my past! It's kinda strange but I always felt that I would only find the right one once I made peace and put closure to my past. It was kinda weird but each one of them just showed up one by one early last year and the last one just popped up just before new year.

5. I kept busy! My work kept me sane since I was always doing one thing and another. I also tried out doing new things, bugged old and new friends. I remember Kuya Bo's book had a list of suggestions on what you could do as a singleton.

I did give up and thought I'd remain single forever. Good thing the Daddy and son tandem I had as seatmates in the airplane kept me sane. I made up my mind then that my life would just be about my family, work, some interests and perhaps study for a doctoral degree, but maybe, maybe because I was closer to heaven when I was saying my prayer, God heard my last plea and granted my prayer.


Here's a funny video that's quite appropriate for Valentine's day -