A Day in My Life

I've been a bit worried this past week. My doctor gave me some news and I've been anxious about it. I guess it's normal to feel this way. It doesn't help that the doctor I've been referred to isn't easily accessible. I'm still waiting to get an appointment to see her. 

Anyway, I'm sure it'll work out soon enough. I just need to make sure I focus on thinking happy thoughts. To be honest it gets really hard especially when I feel unwell. I have to make a conscious effort to shift where my thoughts are going. 

Yesterday I discovered The Good Doctor on Netflix. I like watching hospital dramas and this one was quite interesting. I was surprised to find out that a lot of friends have watched it and are looking forward to season 4. I'm really behind on watching films haha. 

Started my new quilt project yesterday. I'm making lap quilt blankets for my doctors as a thank you for their care. I learned a trick to make it faster... well hopefully. I hope I could finish this project in a month or two. After this I plan to make a Christmas tree skirt which I've been meaning to do for a few years now. 

My days now go slowly, very different from what my pace was before. I wake up really late to complete 8 hours of sleep. I eat my breakfast very slowly. I usually eat oatmeal and then drink my meds. Prepare my coffee and exercise while waiting for it to drip through the filter. Read or watch videos while drinking coffee. In between doing those things I try not to distract Sweetie too much while he's working (he took over the dining table as his workspace). 

After breakfast I move to "my office" -- the couch. Depends on what I feel like doing, but this is where I work on my quilt and writing projects. I can't wait for the day I'll have a real space for my crafts. Right now our living room looks like a messy craft space. I have fabric, thread, patterns and other stuff all around. I just need to make sure I don't have pins and needles lying around hehe. 

Our mealtime has been erratic the past few weeks. Sometimes Sweetie gets so busy so we usually eat whenever we get hungry. I normally eat a light dinner. I don't skip meals because of the medication. After dinner we watch some films until it's time to sleep. Across the whole day we keep in touch with Miggy. 

That's how my weekdays go nowadays. I like my newfound chill only days. This is what I need for now and I'm grateful for this time to rest. 

Day 21 Gratitude Challenge, A technology. Google Meets! It's what my family has been using in the past decade to keep in touch. We have an archive of all our chats through the years. And the best thing about it is it's free and reliable :)

CB///*Yr2/104 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/127 #NewG342 #Home100 #StayHome #BeKind 

Don't Be Too Good

Got a book last weekend at the bookstore, "Love for Imperfect Things". It caught my eye because of it's headline which reads, "How to accept yourself in a world striving for perfection". 

I am honestly behind with reading the mountain of books I've been getting. My eyes have gone bad again. I probably need to get new eyeglasses again. The book I just bought though was printed on really nice paper and the font and spacing is just right. It's been an easy read for me. I'm relieved because I've been wanting to read a book for awhile now. 

I bought the book as part of my healing journey. I absolutely despised myself for getting sick. I'm over that hump now and have accepted that things happen. I've also accepted that I could have taken care of myself better. I realize now I could have avoid a lot of these issues if I avoided the danger I had put myself in - namely too much stress. 

Chapter 1 of the book talks about self-care. The message of the chapter revolved around being kinder to yourself and that you shouldn't pressure yourself to please others. "Don't think you are lovable only when you succeed at what the world demands. You are already worth of love."

I pushed myself too hard and tried my best to deliver what was expected from me. A lot of people were already saying it was too much. I should have pushed back harder, but it's always been so hard for me to say no. Looking back, I should have heeded to the warning signs. 

"Don't be too good." 

"Your existence is always enough."

My friends also kept telling me that I don't need to keep proving myself. "You have done a lot," said my seatmate last Friday. "You deserve this break. Just focus on getting well." And that''s what I'm working on right now. If you feel that things are too overwhelming, it's okay to take a break and it's definitely okay to remove yourself from a situation you feel is dangerous for you. Getting too stressed over something is never worth it. 

Day 19 Gratitude Challenge, Something about work. One thing I'm really grateful about work is the support they have been giving me as I go through all these medical issues. I haven't done any work since mid-December, but they have reassured me to not worry and just focus on getting well. That's truly helped me a lot in the past couple of months. Thank you G. 

CB///*Yr2/102 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/127 #NewG344 #Home102 #StayHome #BeKind 

Why Me Again?

I got a call this morning from my doctor's assistant. They wanted me to come in to see the doctor immediately. The doctor ordered some routine tests and they found something which they want to investigate further. 

I thought I could just focus on recovering and getting stronger now. It took me a few weeks to get better after the last test and I've just started to ramp up on exercising again. It was my first time to see that doctor. She was referred by another doctor because she thought it would be good to do a routine check-up to get everything covered. 

After the check-up I went to eat. I was feeling glum when I received news that someone passed away. That stopped me from feeling so frustrated. I realized then that God's plan for me is different. I've always wondered why I got the worst latak genes  (LOL). Better me than any of my loved ones. 

I wrote this post today to remind all my female friends to get your routine check-up with your gynecologist. I had been busy with my other doctors and brought it up randomly with my uro. She referred me to an OB and I had re-scheduled the appointment thrice before I went. Whew! 

Day 17, A personality trait of yours. My fighting spirit. I'm grateful my parents taught me to strong in the face of adversity. I still remember that day when Typhoon Ondoy's floods drowned everything I owned. I was sitting in the kitchen with my Dad and I started to cry. He immediately reprimanded me and said, "Para yun lang iiyak iyak ka na." That was the day I learned how to cope better when disaster strikes. 

*Latak = sludge 

Date Day with Myself

I woke up bright and early yesterday for an errand. Sweetie suggested the night before that I should buy my coffee after the errand. I was shocked! I usually rush back home after I go to a doctor appointment and Sweetie told me not to take any unnecessary risks. I was giddy when he suggested I pick up some coffee after my errand. 

I finished my errand early. I hung around a bit and thought about whether I should still go buy some coffee. The mall was still closed. I checked Google Maps to see if there was anything open already. Toast Box was already open. I decided to go. 

I did the required check-in and skipped going to Toast Box since it was too early for my favorite teh tarik. The smell of freshly baked bread encouraged me to sit down on the egg seats across BreadTalk. I sat there for 20 minutes just breathing in the smell of freshly baked bread (it goes through the mask nicely!). At 9:59am I went upstairs to the coffee shop and was surprised to see some customers having breakfast. 

I originally planned to just get a pack of coffee and then go home. My favorite craft shop though was still closed so I decided to get a cup of cappuccino and play Pokemon. I settled on a seat far away from other customers and played Pokemon in-between pinging Sweetie and Miggy. Eventually I quieted down and realized it's the first time in a long, long time since I dated myself. 

I usually go out with Sweetie because I still experience get shortness of breath when walking long distances. I have mastered the art of stopping whenever I start feeling breathless. Yesterday I felt a little bold and went to Art Friend after I finished my coffee (Spotlight was still closed). I needed to buy some supplies. I was so happy walking up and down the aisles. There's just something about being in a craft shop that brings me so much joy. 

After Art Friend I took the lift back to the fifth floor and dropped by Spotlight. I went around to check out some fabric. I didn't get anything (the boys said it was a miracle!). I was just happy for the opportunity to visit my favorite shop. I was a bit tired by then though so I didn't stay long. I was already happy from the short date time with myself so I went home after visiting Spotlight. 

When was the last time you dated yourself?

Day 10 Gratitude Challenge, A Person in Your Family. I've always talked about how grateful I am for my immediate family. My Mom has a set of cousins who lived with us when I was growing up. Tita Olive took care of me (and all of my cousins and nephews and nieces, of course Miggy too). She's known as the family baby whisperer. If you look through our family photos she was always carrying a baby. Then there's Tita Alon. I don't remember if she lived with us, but she was always there at home. She always accompanied my Mom whenever she had to go to Bicol. Tita Chu in Sydney is my most adventurous Tita. I would always meet up with her whenever I visit Australia. She always tells me stories about our family (I missed out a lot because I'm the youngest). And there's Tita Pet who lives in Japan. I remember following her around when I was a child. I have a special bond with her, we always feel whenever the other is in trouble or sick. Each of my titas play a different role in my life. They're just always there for me and I always look forward being able to spend time with them. Did I mention that the four are sisters? :')

CB///*Yr2/97 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/124 #NewG349 #Home107 #StayHome #BeKind 

I Surrender

The past week has been difficult. My doctor reduced my medication and it caused an imbalance. I've been having headaches daily. One of our goals has always been to reduce dependency on meds and supplements. He removed a supplement. I guess that was helping balance other things and removing it wreaked havoc. He brought it back so hopefully things will get better in the next few days. 

One thing I learned through this ordeal is to just surrender everything to God. My body is different and out of the normal my doctors are used to. They have tried their best to make me better. I have to do my part and do what I can to get better. 

My situation is going to go on indefinitely. This is what my doctor wrote down again this morning. I was really upset about it before, but I have accepted my new direction. I'm actually excited about where this could lead me. I hope I could go home soon and be with Miggy and my Mom again. 

Sometimes God gives us challenges which we cannot solve ourselves. It's His way of reminding us that He's always there for us. The only way out of it is to trust in Him and let Him lead the way. 

Day 8 Gratitude Challenge, A Happy Memory. I have a lot of happy memories! I treasure most those times our little family would go on trips. One of the happiest is when we went to Bali with our parents, Tita Rose, Kuya and Ate Joy decided to join us in the last minute. We rented a villa that had at least four huge rooms and it's own pool! The thing we enjoyed the most was dining together. We all hope we can do it again someday.  

CB///*Yr2/94 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/121 #NewG352 #Home110 #StayHome #BeKind 

Finally Losing Weight!

I have been struggling with my weight for a few years now. I started to gain a lot of weight when my asthma medication was changed. It got worse when I started taking blood thinners. I tried so many ways, but nothing worked. I was so bloated and my doctors were concerned it was straining my heart. 

Here's how I finally started to lose weight:

1. Doubled my water intake from 2 liters to 3 liters a day. 

2. Counting calories and eating more chicken than pork. I don't eat beef often. I'm also trying to eat more fiber rich food (honestly lagging in this department). I basically halved my food intake and reduced my sugar intake. 

3. My doctor increased my probiotics dosage. 

4. Unintended intermittent fasting. I have had to sleep longer to increase my deep sleep, this has resulted in unintended 16-hour fast. 

5. Eating oatmeal for breakfast 6 times a week. My cardiologist ordered me to do this. Good thing I love oatmeal! I cheat once a week with something heavy like pancakes. 

6. More exercise. I've been ramping up on exercise. My stats though are laughable, but I try to do what I can. At least now I can use the exercise bike for 12-minutes non-stop. Walking is still limited, but I hope this would improve with time. 

7. I sleep at least 8-hours a day. 

I was so overjoyed when I started to see my weight going down. I hope I'd get to a decent more appropriate weight in good time. 

Day 3 Gratitude Challenge, A Song You Love. One of the songs I love is "It's Gonna Be Okay" by the Piano Guys. I first heard this song during their concert here in Singapore. It was the day my first PE was discovered and I was feeling so down. Music heals and this song struck a chord in me that helped me go through the ordeal. 

CB///*Yr2/89 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/116 #NewG357 #Home131 #StayHome #BeKind 

Working Out Detours

I woke up with a smile today. I finally slept well. I feel the rain has stopped and things are just going to get better. I have been reflecting a lot about my new reality. The detour has forced me to take stock of what I can still do and what I have to let go. 

The Didache reflection last night was about the detours God gives you. Brother Bo Sanchez said, "Listen, if you’re not ready, God will allow a detour. But through that detour, He will mature you, shape you, equip you, and prepare you. Here’s my belief: God uses detours as doorways to your destiny." I have been asking myself why this happened to me and realized it's a detour from God to nudge me to another path.

For now my focus is to get well and my dream is to be reunited with Miggy and my Mom before the year ends. I chanced upon Bro Bo's vlog today. His topic today is about knowing your core gift to give to the world. If you don't know what you're good at his advise is to look back to your childhood. That will help you realize what you love doing and what you're good at. 

Detours are good. I struggled for many months because I wanted to go back to what was usual. The more frustrated I got the worse I felt. The best thing I did was to give up and let God take over. Recovery has been very slow, but I know I just need to trust God's process. I'm grateful my breathing has been better and I have more energy now. 

I'm sure my destiny will eventually be revealed. For now I'll just enjoy this detour and pray for the best! 

BTW, the Asia Pacific Google Educators Group are hosting their fourth live event this weekend! You can get more information about the events here.

CB///*Yr2/83 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/110 #NewG363 #Home137 #StayHome #BeKind 

I usually watch reflection vlogs while eating breakfast. 

"Every Storm Runs Out of Rain" (Half-Year Review)

 

Waiting for my doctor.

The first thing I asked Sweetie today was, "Is it already July 1?" He answered in the affirmative and I said, "Wow half the year has passed already!"

"Every storm runs out of rain." - Maya Angelou

And rainbows usually appear after the rain. The past six+ months have been really challenging. I feel though that the rain is just a soft drizzle now. Things are changing and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. My body was permanently damaged by pulmonary embolism. I will never be the same and I have accepted that. You just have to roll with the punches. 

I was in survival mode for the first half of this year. I'm still healing from last week's procedure, but I've been able to start picking up the pieces. I started to exercise again and hope to continue the Justin Agustin gentle exercise course I enrolled in. Sweetie still does majority of the chores, but at least I've been able to cook a few times a week now. 

For the second half of 2021 my goal would be to gain more energy and stamina, be reunited with my family and show gratefulness. My birthday is coming up in two months, I hope we could do a real staycation (no more hospital staycations!). I don't really need any material things, prayers are appreciated (but quilting fabric and Yoda is always welcome haha). 

CB///*Yr2/82 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/109 #NewG364 #Home138 #StayHome #BeKind 

Live in the Moment

I am over the moon today. My doctor gave me good news. They solved the clotting mystery and the recommendation is not to do surgery. It took me a long time to fall asleep last night. I was dreading the consultation today. I'm just so relieved and grateful that the course of action is not going to be invasive! (Thank you so much to my doctors!). 

Before going to see my doctor I watched Kulas' (Becoming Filipino) vlog. He vlogs almost everyday about his laid back life in Cateel, Davao. I've been so amazed with his lifestyle. He acquired a beach front lot, built a huge hut and lives with trusted friends. His hut has no doors and they just sleep anywhere. It's a great example of living in the moment (and being responsible about it too). Kulas is in his early 30s. 

Responsibility has been my driver since I completed my studies. That's why I took breaks sparingly. My Mom reminded me that I'm an empty nester now. She said it's time for me to enjoy life. And that's why I've been so fascinated with Kulas. He's been able to show me a different way of living. 

I'm after all just 45 and I feel I've been given a new lease of life. It's been hard for to transition from my super busy life to my slow, forced to chill life. I need to embrace it and just live in the moment. 

After all, it's never too late to make new dreams. 

Thank you for your continued prayers my friends.

CB///*Yr2/80 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/107 #StayHome #BeKind  

 

Coping, Ugh

It's Monday again and I'm annoyed with myself. A week ago I had a venogram and angiogram to finally figure out what's been causing my blood clots. I breezed through the procedure. The funny thing was I thought I dozed off and we haven't started. Apparently I was put under as soon as we got in the OR haha. 

I'm annoyed with myself because I've been unproductive for a week now. I haven't been able to exercise since the two puncture wounds still need to heal. I thought I'd be able to do some sewing at least, but I've spent several afternoons just napping! 

I know I shouldn't be annoyed at myself since I do need to recover from the procedure. It just gets frustrating at times and I feel helpless. I've always been action oriented so being at rest is hard. Dear Todd Robertson, a patient advocate for pulmonary embolism, sent a quote to the group -

I oftentimes have to remind myself that the challenge I'm going through is temporary. With faith, prayers and the help of my doctors I will get healed. I must admit though, it gets scary because blood clots can be fatal. I have been very blessed to have survived two episodes. Staying positive and believing God will heal me is key. 

I realize now that the past week has been good. We did a week-long celebration of Sweetie and Miggy's birthday. We indulged and had good food. I had some pain on my leg due to the wound, but it was tolerable and Panadol eased the pain. I finally managed to create the video on how to re-pot sunflowers (watch it here). I made several tribute posts for PNoy. Most importantly I was able to finally get through Mom's phone and hear mass via YouTube on Sunday. 

I'm still in the process of forgiving myself for getting sick. I remember my Dad was also very hard on himself when he got sick. I still have a lot of fire in me and I have established new dreams for my family. Please help me in this fight and include me in your prayers. :)

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: http://youtube.com/c/aileenapolo

And please humor me by subscribing to my YouTube channel. I have useful videos on gardening, cooking and sewing in it. I also make random vids about my life when I feel up to it, but I enjoy making tutorials more than vlogging about my life. 

Have a blessed week everyone!

CB///*Yr2/79 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/106 #StayHome #BeKind  

How I Deal with Bad Days

Woke up with a piercing pain on my chest. I get this every so often so nothing to be alarmed about. Got up as usual and prepared my breakfast. I felt nauseous while in the kitchen. I just tell myself that I have days like this as part of my healing process. I should be okay tomorrow (have to be since I have to see my doctor). 

I used to get so stumped whenever I had bad days. Now I see it as a reminder for me to rest more. I still feel a bit woozy now, but it's starting to go away so thought I'd get some writing done. When I feel really dizzy I lie down. I usually doze off, but today I watched a film. 

How come it's so hard to choose a film to watch on Netflix? There's so many choices I can't make up my mind. I ended up choosing a Robin Williams movie, License to Wed. It's a 2010 romance comedy he did with Mandy Moore and John Krasinski. It was fun to watch, but I couldn't help but think about Robin Williams. He was a great actor, one of my favorites. He must have sacrificed himself a lot to make us happy and entertained. 

And that's why I think it's really important to respect bad days. Don't fight it. Just go with the flow. My symptoms now aren't as bad as it was a month ago. My spirit, mind and body are now working together to heal me. A huge part of being able to deal with illness has been all the prayers everyone has been doing for me. I am grateful and thankful to all my family and friends who continue to pray for me. 

Take a break friends, you need it. 

CB///*Yr2/68  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/95 #StayHome #BeKind 

Pause?

I've been blogging continuously for 532 days now. I used to do this for 30 days in a year. It became an annual challenge last year because things got weird (aka pandemic). I thought it would be interesting to journal my life through this period. I didn't expect it would flow over to this year. 

Things have been the same lately. Can't really go out, not even to the park. I've been thinking of pausing everyday blogging so I could focus on working on my other writing project. But then it doesn't take me long to write these posts and it keeps my mind active. Maybe this is just me making an excuse to spend more time quilting haha. 

Oh, I read that Feedburner email sign-up service for blogs is going away. If you want to be updated about my posts you may also want to follow my FB page. I have also been posting more tutorials on my YouTube channel (subscribe!). I'm also crazy with pinning pins on Pinterest, follow me! 

I'll probably continue blogging because I want to use this medium to raise awareness for pulmonary embolism. I was misdiagnosed several times before the huge blood clot was found and sadly in our region it's not something that doctors naturally look for. I had to advocate for myself to get properly diagnosed. 

I'm so lucky my guardian angel looked after me and found me an amazing doctor. Take shortness of breath seriously (especially if you had COVID19, read here). Make sure it's not just asthma or anxiety.  

CB///*Yr2/66  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/93 #StayHome #BeKind 

Progress! One Day at a Time

I went out to see one of my doctors today. He said my determination is strong. I improved a lot in the past few weeks. The dosage of my medication was adjusted. It took awhile for my body to adjust to the new dosage, but I think it's working because I can breathe better now. 

I'm so grateful to all the doctors who are taking care of me. They each have their own expertise and experience, but they are all working collectively to get me better. One of the medications was causing acidity. It eventually started causing weird pain on my sides. 

Good thing another doctor saw this and gave me something to counter the issue. There were days I could barely move because of the pain. It's gone now and that's helped me be more mobile everyday. I'm now able to cook and wash dishes more often! Yay!

Taking things one day at a time for now. My previous medication caused me to gain so much weight. I lost almost 4 kilograms since April. I hope with more exercise I can lose more. This will help ease the burden on my heart. Now we just need to solve the mystery of where my clots are coming from. Fingers crossed!

CB///*Yr2/59  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/86 #StayHome #BeKind

Second Chances

Earlier today I remembered a friend who passed away a few years ago. We had meaningful conversations when we had lunch. He told me before he passed, "live life" and "take risks". He also told me, "But you are alive, you should just enjoy what you have now." I had shared with him that I was always cautious about spending. I wanted to be always ready for my family. 

He was gone just a few months after he told me he was sick. I was alone when I went to his funeral. An elderly friend of his took care of me. He was a CEO of a huge company and shared with me his days when he had to work abroad. He was surprised to hear that I was living away from my family. He advised to keep my family together no matter the situation. 

I took to heart the advise and after a few months my family was complete. We lived, took risks, traveled and did things together as one unit. We were happy to be together. I remembered my friend and my friend's CEO friend today because it dawned on me that I am on my nth chance at living. I survived so many harrowing illnesses and I'm blessed to be still around. 

I shared that to a friend this morning because I am grateful for help to put me on the recovery path. It's not just a second chance at life for me. It's the nth chance (I seriously lost count already) and as my friend, Claro, told me, "... you are alive, you should just enjoy what you have now." Yes, my dear friend, I promise I won't bungle up this chance again. I'll make sure to use this time for my family and whatever God's next mission is for me. 

CB///*Yr2/55  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/82 #StayHome #BeKind

Wake Up Those Muscles!

Whew! I just finished today's workout. I signed up for the "Absolute Beginner Gentle Course" of Justin Agustin. The course is supposed to slowly wake up your sleeping muscles. I asked my physiotherapist to take a look at the course before I signed up. She said I should go for it and just remember not to go over 5 when it comes to breathing. 

I have been doing wall push-ups everyday since April. I think it's helped my breathing a lot and I haven't had asthma for awhile now. Yay! I hope the course I signed up for will help me advance in a month or two. I'm on my own now since my PT has left the country. I'm grateful she's still keeping in touch and have been asking how I am. I'm using that as motivation to improve. I signed up for the full course at $49. I think it's sulit* since I spend at least SG$50 for taxi weekly when I used to have PT sessions.  

Since gyms are closed for now we decided to invest on an exercise bike. It finally arrived last Sunday and I've been ramping up also on spinning time. I did 3 reps last night and it didn't take me long to fall asleep. Whew! I hope to be consistent with this daily workout. Being cooped up at home is really bad for you and I miss walking around the park. Better to be safe for now and stay home. There's a lot of options anyway to move around more. 

If you want to check out the Justin Agustin course I first saw his workouts on Pinterest. I think he also has Tiktok (which I don't use). Keep moving!

*Sulit - good value for money

CB///*Yr2/53  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/80 #StayHome #BeKind

How I Forgave Myself from Slowing-Down

Conquered Borobudur Temple
3 months after OHS.

I'm used to being busy. I take pride in being very productive everyday. It made me very happy when I'm able to tick off a lot of my daily tasks. I'd be deliriously happy when I'm also able to work on my hobbies after work. I was an Energizer bunny on steroids. 

My health though forced me to slow down. It brought me a lot of anxiety. It was the guilt from being unproductive. I'm lucky I have a friend who kept reminding me that it wasn't my fault I was sick. He said I should focus on getting well and I shouldn't feel guilty about it. 

I felt I was letting everyone down. That's what ate me up day in, day out. I used to be able to work before even when I was sick. I even flew to Rome after being diagnosed with a huge blood clot in my lungs. I was bleeding like crazy, but I pushed on. My will was very strong. Looking back though, I shouldn't have done that. 

It took me five months before I realized why I had to slow down. It was God's way of re-directing me. He's been trying to do it for a couple of years already, but I've been stubborn. I finally accepted that this is a time for me to heal and do nothing else. When my heart and mind opened to the re-direction my breathing and stamina started to improve. 

Sometimes we get so stubborn and try to stick to what we're used to. We forget that we're here for a higher purpose. Just sit back, relax and let Him navigate your path. All will be alright. 

CB///*Yr2/46  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/73 #StayHome #BeKind

*OHS - open heart surgery

Hope in a Tree

We have this huge tree outside our home in Manila. It's been there since we moved. It has survived all the typhoons that passed and it luckily did not burn when the roof of the warehouse beside us caught fire. 

L-R, top to bottom: January 2020, Q4 2020, April 2021, May 2021.

Last year before we left for Singapore the tree looked really sad after the Taal Volcano erupted. It eventually deteriorated and we thought it was going to die. Lo and behold the tree recovered. Miggy sent me a photo and the tree looked really healthy again. The tree is a survivor!

I've been feeling exhausted again the past few days. My doctor had to lower the dosage of my meds because I was having unusual bruises. I think it may have affected my energy. Miggy sent me a photo of the tree this morning. It had yellow flowers all over! 

The yellow flowers are so pretty :)

I told myself, if the tree could do it, so could I! Seeing the tree with so many flowers brought me so much joy and hope. I think it's the same for our current situation. We'll all eventually get out of this horrid pandemic and blossom with happiness once again. 

Happy weekend everyone!

CB//*Yr2/34  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/61 #StayHome #BeKind   

Beat Yesterday

Time flies, it's already the 11th day of May today. I had to rest for a week following the heart catheterization procedure. I have recovered and had my first evening walk last night. As my doctor said, "Always try to beat yesterday." I hope to ramp up on my exercises again. 

In time I'll be biking again.

The sun was shining brightly when I woke up today. It's been hot and humid the last few days, but the sun has been good for me. I feel it's giving me extra energy. Today I felt like doing cartwheels (hahaha). Too bad I don't know how.

The past six months have been challenging. The best thing I did for myself was to change my mindset. I was getting frustrated with my slow recovery. Thanks to Bo Sanchez' video, I learned to reset my goal to improve at least 1% per day. This was reflected on my monthly step count and I hope to improve more in the coming weeks. 

For my next steps, I'm adding "beat yesterday" to my mantra so I can build on my progress. This is very different from my work mantra of growing 10x and shooting for the moon. My mindset had always been to grow by leaps and bounds. I learned the hard way that not all things will work with supersonic goals haha. 

CB//*Yr2/31  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/58 #StayHome #BeKind  

The Force was Strong Yesterday

I have been doing a number of tests the past few weeks. My doctors have been doing this to investigate how to help me get better. I haven't been sleeping well since the medtech told me my lungs look really bad. My doctor discussed options last week, but she wanted to do one last test to be sure. 

Two of the options would require surgery, the least invasive would be medication. My other doctors were worried about doing surgery because it will be too risky. That's what kept me up at night. I was also wary about doing the test because I bled a lot last time I did it. 

To be honest I was scared to do the procedure*. My long time cardiologist though reassured me and said he trusts my new doctor. I promised him I'd be brave and would do it. I prayed and meditated. Woke up early yesterday for my early appointment. 

I was awake during the procedure. I prayed the rosary while they were taking a peek at my heart. Midway through the procedure my doctor told me they were not going to do phase 2. They were already able to determine why I was still having shortness of breath. She also said it wasn't what she feared. She decided to cut the procedure short since I could just take more medications to help resolve my issue. 

I was discharged after lunch with orders to rest until the wound heals. Sweetie has been taking care of me and I'm thankful he's been by my side the whole time. I'm also grateful for all the prayers my family and friends have been doing for me. 

Thank you Lord for your continued healing. The force was strong yesterday :)

CB///Yr2/25  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/52 #StayHome #BeKind   

*Any procedure involves risks

Live for Love

Happy Easter everyone! 

This is the second Easter I'm celebrating far away from my family. Good thing technology now allows us to keep in touch with each other easily. It's been a very long, strange journey for all of us. We each have had to carry our crosses. We each bear it differently. 

I normally do a Lenten sacrifice. The harder ones I did was when I gave up soda and milk tea. I didn't do one this year because I'm already carrying a heavy cross - my medical condition. Instead of abstaining from something I instead nourished my spirit. 

Knowing God loves me makes me unafraid. That's how I've been able to bear my cross. I am grateful for my family and friends who continue to pray for me and provide me counsel.

May you have a blessed Easter my friend. 

CB///359  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/22 #StayHome #BeKind