My 5th Clotiversary

Commemorated my 5th clotiversary the other day. Sweetie asked me, "What is a clotiversary and why are you celebrating it?" I explained to him that clotiversary is the anniversary date when your blood clot was discovered. Why is it important? It's important because it's the date you survived an illness that has up to 30% mortality rate. 

Patients who have had pulmonary embolism normally commemorate the date because we are grateful to be alive. Many do not and find out when it's too late. I had a huge clot in my left lung. It was misdiagnosed for a year that's why it grew so big. I had to fight to get a second opinion. A GP scoffed at me and said that I was just going to get the same diagnosis, asthma. I wouldn't be here today if I did not insist on getting a second opinion. 

Twenty eight months later I had a second PE. It was caught early, but it affected my right lung. By that time the clot on my left lung hadn't dissolved yet. My doctor couldn't give me a higher dosage of meds because I kept bleeding. I had a harder time recovering from the second one. In fact, I never did and we went for stability. That's why my doctors in Singapore advised me to retire. 

Since I've just been coasting along and my tests and scans aren't any better than those I had in Singapore, my doctor recommended me to do pulmonary rehab. We hope to strengthen parts of my lungs that are still healthy. I am still lucky that I don't need supplemental oxygen. I can get by as long as the air quality is good. I have an oxygen concentrator which I use when my oxygen saturation goes very low. 

Finally started my first pulmo rehab today. It took awhile to schedule. The center wanted me to do a pulmonary function test first. My doctor made it optional. I didn't get to do it because I couldn't last the night without my regular maintenance meds. I had asthma and had to take meds, so had to cancel the PFT. My doctor anyway said I didn't really need to do it since my last PFT shows my lungs do need rehab. 

First day exercises were actually very light. Just breathing exercises with some stretching. I was super tired though after the session and had to lie down the rest of the day, haha. I had grand plans to make homemade pancakes. Of course, that didn't happen, so many will attempt again later this week. My goal is to have more energy and stamina. I told the physiotherapist that I eventually want to be able to ride a bike again (originally wanted to run a marathon post OHS, haha). 

Let's work it, work it and pray. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Miracle Sundays: Life Away from the World

I started "living away from the world" even before lockdowns started. I worked from home several times a week. My health started its decline after my first PE in 2018. I fought hard to stay "normal" and do my regular activities. I noticed though that it got harder and harder for me to travel alone. I couldn't keep up with physical activities. I'd get left behind walking from the office to the restaurant. 

I did not have a hard time adjusting to the lockdown. I was able to work longer hours. I missed going out, but I secretly rejoiced since my stamina was very limited. Eventually the stress made things worse for me and I spent a year going in and out of the hospital. 

The struggle was real. My reality changed drastically. I could no longer do the things I loved doing. I couldn't even spend more than 10 minutes on a video call without getting tired. My body gave up on me. It took me many months to understand why I had to slow down. And many more months to understand that God was re-directing me. 

Today's Didache reflection prompt is, "If things get overwhelming and you feel disconnected in your inner life, step back, then go slow." My doctors always told me that my personality wore down my body. I always went for the gold and they said the stress would eventually kill me. It did because I couldn't do anything anymore. 

After my second PE, one of my doctors mandated for me to stay offline. I followed his advice and realized how disconnected I was from my inner self. I kept serving others, but I did not take care of myself. God had to bring me to the bottom and practically maim me to bring back my old self. It was at that time when I disconnected from the outside world that I found myself again. 

I woke up today feeling like my old self again. My doctors always wondered how I'm still alive and kicking despite the odds. Love and faith. That's all we need :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

Hello Makati! Saw Dad's Old Office

Went to meet a friend this morning in Makati. His office was near one of my Dad's former offices. I was sad though to see the building abandoned already. Makati was surprisingly quiet. It felt more like a Sunday than a weekday. We were even able to park on the street by the building we visited. I guess not many people go to the office yet. It really felt like it was a Sunday. 

It was a rare treat to dress up today. I wore pants and a blouse! And shoes! I just normally wear a t-shirt and pambahay shorts  at home. I started wearing a t-shirt when I began hanging out in the craft room. I did that to feel a bit dressed up in case I had to get a delivery (which I never do since the boys forbade me hehe). Well, now I wear a t-shirt so they can be used and laundered. It's a good practice since it forces me to be more productive. 

I wanted to check out the new restos in Magallanes. There's a new nook there where the famous windmill resto used to be. I'm not sure when Starbucks, Pancake House, Krispy Kreme and Yellow Cab moved to the area, but it's a nice area since you can just drive through or do curb pick-up for your orders. We decided to get take-away at Pancake House. We were sitting outside when it started pouring, so we were forced to go inside.

Downpour!

Surprised to see that Pancake House now sells bread and ready-to-cook food! They have Pancake House spaghetti and country sausage, Teriyaki Boy chicken teriyaki, Dencio's krispy sisig, Yellow Cab toaster pizza and many more. We'll try it next time, but it's interesting to see how they expanded their menu to include ready-to-cook items. 

After getting our food we ended up in Krispy Kreme since it was still raining. Got tempted and got an OG card. We've been consistently buying doughnuts at KK the past two months so though we could maximize our purchase and give Mom free doughnuts too. Registering took a bit longer than expected, but we went home with half a dozen free doughnuts! Yay! By the time we left, the sky was blue again. That made it easier to get to the car hehe. 

Suddenly bright skies! Moody po si sky!

Traffic has always been light, the few times I've had to go out. Yay! I hope it stays this way since my legs start swelling when I sit too long. Hope my new cardiovascular doctor can figure out what to do with me. It was a nice day to go out today. Seeing Dad's old office building reassured me that we're going the right direction. :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

Makati Med Looks So Different Now

I haven't been to Makati Med for almost 10 years now. The last time I was there was to visit Titay or Tito Ben. I needed to see a doctor since I haven't had a face-to-face check-up since I got home. The booster shot seemed to have a bad effect on me because I've been having chest pains for a few weeks now. I've also been having frequent asthma attacks. 

Any chance to go out is a treat for me! Good thing we went early because we were able to find parking. I felt a little lost when we reached the ground floor. Everything looked different! The lobby now looks like the hospitals in Singapore. There are two towers now and I was clueless on how to get around. Luckily they have a lot of security staff you can inquire from. 

My doctor's office used to have wooden interiors. It's now mostly all white! My pulmo at Makati med  is my original doctor. His wife was my original cardiologist. They've been taking care of our family for several decades now. I hope they can unearth my old xrays so they can compare and maybe get a better view of what has happened to me. 

The best thing about the new look of Makati Med is the improvement in processes. I was ordered to do a chest xray. I just went down to the ground floor, presented the memo and I was done in less than 20 minutes. By early evening I received a message that I could view the results in the app. I could also easily share the information to others (i.e. my doctors in SG) by sending them a link (only available though for seven days). They just need a browser to view the xray.

Something really funny though happened. I've gotten multiple xrays already and I'm familiar with the process. After they took the shot, they hurriedly asked me if I removed my bra. I said yes. I was puzzled why they asked me. They had me wait while a senior radiologist checked the xray. He reassured me everything was okay and let me go. I realized the staff who run the xray were probably pretty junior. They mistook my sternal wires as bra wires. Hahaha! That's the first time this happened to me. Maybe the pandemic has really kept rare creatures like me away from hospitals. 

I'm still giggling about it until today. I'm still really wary about going to the hospital, but I trust my doctor. If he says it's safe for me, then I just need to be extra cautious and follow protocols. Praying what they found in my xray can be resolved easily. That means I really need to be stress free!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Can We Just Live with the Threat of the Virus?

We're finally going to keep our Christmas decors this week. We delayed removing them because we only put it up two days before Christmas! So it has seen us through Christmas and 2 new years, there's no need for it to reach Valentine's. I also feel like we're entering a new phase now since cases are going down and there's more movement happening. We also decided to move forward with organizing our new home. The nasty infection is also gone now and I feel my energy is coming back. 

How to live with COVID-19? That's a question that's being discussed across the world. The UK was forced to remove mandates because of their PM's irresponsible behavior. There has been a lot of protests in Canada. Denmark scrapped restrictions. In Singapore they made clear guidelines on what to do if you get sick. It's made me think about whether or not we can just live with the threat of the virus. 

When the first circuit breaker in Singapore eased up, my physiotherapy clinic contacted me and said I can resume my sessions. Went back to my sessions and just made sure I always wore a mask. I would even pass by my favorite store after my session. My doctor eventually advised I should just wear a fabric mask. I obeyed, but picked up a virus from a taxi driver the first time I did. It wasn't COVID-19 according to my doctors. 

Beautiful tulips at Roppongi Hills

After that incident I concluded that: (1) There are many different viruses out there and we're living alongside them, and (2) Being immunocompromised I am a magnet to getting sick. Case in point: I haven't gone out since the first week of January and still got an infection. The world will not stop because of people like me. Restrictions were put in place because we didn't know much about the virus. That bought time for scientists to develop vaccines and find ways to save people. 

I miss seeing the rest of my family and hanging out with my friends. I miss those days I could just sit at Commune and bump into friends. I miss doing my cardio at the mall (a.k.a. walking). I miss the freedom of being able to explore new places. One could say that life has been on hold the past two years, but you can also look from a different perspective -- a new way of living. 

For now I stay home.

Take care everyone!

#BeKind #StayHome

Living Worry-Free

I am a worry-wart. I stressed out a lot before I decided to leave my job. I worried about letting so many people down. I worried about losing my income. I worried about losing my medical insurance. I worried about how people would treat me. All these worries eventually caused anxiety and depression.

For many months, I couldn't sleep. I felt weak and was just generally unwell. The more I worried, the more stressed I got, I became more unwell. I would use essential oils to help me fall asleep, but it was praying the rosary that helped me calm down. I also sought the help of St. Jude for my desperate needs. 

“Master,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” – Luke 5:5 (NLT)

It was through months of prayer that I realized what I needed to do. The idea started when one of my doctors told me that it was perhaps time to leave my job. I was shocked by his advise because years ago he told me I shouldn't rest too much when I was sick because my employer would get impatient. I definitely did not expect to hear that advise from him. My other long-time doctors also advised it would be best for me to live a stress-free life. 

It took awhile for me to digest their advise. Dr. Chan even told me he hoped I'd make the right decision. I prayed and I just knew what He wanted me to do. I also knew that I could rest my worries because things were going to be okay. So I listened and followed. 

It wasn't an easy transition. The worries are now just "concerns", but I don't obsess over it anymore. I am with my family. Mom is just a kembot away so it's easier to take care of her. We have a nice roof over our head where we're building more happy memories. We get by and have been able to help where we can. 

A year ago I was a bungle of nerves. Now I'm just chill. I just lift up all my worries and concerns to Him and just let things be. Worry not and just listen to His guidance :)

#BeKind #StayHome

Learning Acceptance and Being Content

I was planning to write about alternate realities today, but thought I'd go the more positive route. Yup, I was about to do a rant post about people who seem to be living an alternate reality -- one where they are above the law. I learned though that it's unhealthy for me to worry about things I cannot control. 

Yesterday's Didache reflection gave me a lot of food for thought. It asked, "Lord, what do You want me to learn today?" I was unwell for a few weeks and I realized I hit a slump again. I don't feel good when I'm not productive. Sweetie keeps reminding me to focus on one thing for now - rest so I can get well. Followed his advise, slept all day on Friday and I was feeling better yesterday. 

I read the Didache reflection just before I went to sleep last night. I realized that I've been waiting for a grand mission from Him. It's clear to me that He wants me to focus on my family first, but I've been asking Him, "Is there anything else I need to do?" Typical me, pushing myself hard, haha. 

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

This prayer is credited to theologian Reinhold Niebuhr and adopted by the Alcoholics Anonymous organization. Perhaps it's useful for me also since I'm addicted to being productive. I need to find the courage to accept that I have physical limitations and I can't do the same activities I used to do. I also need to forgive myself for letting people down. 

I am grateful I've been able to retire and get the rest I need. My heart hurts for other people like me who are forced to work immediately following a pulmonary embolism. There are many and I read about their pain in our patient group. It's really hard especially when you don't have the proper support you need. 

Accept. Be content. Be thankful. 

“The Lord says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.’” (Psalm 32:8, NLT)

#BeKind #StayHome

Breathe

Taking a break today to recover from the asthma attack I had last night. I didn't know that the AQI was pretty bad when I went out to admire the sky. It was downhill after that haha. Anyway, here's a nice memory of me hiking! Yes, hiking! This was at Mambukal in Negros Occidental (more about the hike here).

And here's the sky I was admiring last night. 

And the yummy #JayBucks dinner Sweetie prepared.

And now I rest :)

#BeKind #StayHome

3 Months Back Home

We've been home for almost 3 months now! Woohoo! And I'm happy I managed to stay stable for three months and didn't need to see a doctor. It's an achievement for me since I saw a doctor weekly for a year. I could have probably avoided getting sick, so I need to be more vigilant. My mistake was I didn't wear a dust mask when I did some cleaning and I failed to use an air purifier during the day. I was feeling good, so I thought I didn't need those things anymore. At least I know what I need to do to safeguard my health.

 

We arrived on November 4. Completed quarantine, got reunited with family and moved to a new home. The first two months was really crazy! It's not a good idea to move weeks before Christmas! We were only able to decorate two days before Christmas. We managed to have a nice noche buena and Christmas lunch with Mom. By New Year though we were so tired from cleaning and organizing, we ended up having delivery on new year's eve. 

The post holiday surge though forced us to just stay home. All our "outdoor plans" were shelved. That gave us time to rest and organize our new home. It's still incomplete, but at least we now have a makeshift living room and craft area. Sweetie has started to organize the family room. We probably need to spend more time at the basement because of the warmer weather. 

One thing we've been busy with is gardening. We're trying to grow our own veggies. Growing veggies progressed better at our balcony in Singapore. We realized that the sprouts haven't been getting enough sunshine, so we're moving them to another location today. We hope that would help them improve and give us a good harvest in a few months. It's been fun taking care of new plants and getting supplies is much easier here. 

I hope to feel better in a few days. I had to find a GP since I couldn't locate my regular GP. My new GP was happy with the results of my blood test. She also said I'm so blessed to have survived two PEs and reminded me to keep praying. I told Sweetie I never got that kind of advise in SG hehe. I appreciated it though since it was a good reminder. She was yesterday's guardian angel. I'm back to being cheerful today. Yay! 

Stay amazing friends!

#BeKind #StayHome

My Anxiety Management Kit

I have family and friends who have been infected with the coronavirus. Got worried last night when my best friend told me he tested positive too. Good thing they are all vaccinated so they're all asymptomatic. My boys have been very strict with me. They don't allow me to step out if there's a delivery. We all wear masks if someone drops by, even if it's just at the gate. 

I always feel anxious whenever I feel unwell. A dark cloud always comes over me when I get sick. I've had to deal with anxiety since I had my first pulmonary embolism in 2018. It felt like it was easier to manage when I was busy at work, but that didn't help. I was just avoiding the issue and it eventually emptied my tank. After I had my second pulmonary embolism, I realized I needed help. 

A huge part of recovering from an illness relies on having a sound mind. Battling physical illnesses requires you to have a strong will. I know my issues are extraordinary compared to most, but I thought I'd share what I've been doing because it may help you or a loved one who may need help. Here's a list:

1. Sleep - I had trouble sleeping for years. My doctor kept reminding me that getting 8 hours of sleep was important for recovery. What helped me was putting a few drops of lavender on an essential oil stone. Using an air filter also help a lot (doc said breathing well is a huge part of getting proper sleep). Praying the rosary before sleeping also helped me calm down. 

I guess a huge part of being anxious was being far away from home. I rarely have trouble falling asleep since I got home. 

2. Look Up - I got this tip from my Kuya. Whenever the black cloud sets in and my train of thought goes dark, I break it by looking up. It forces me to think of something else. 

3. Essential Oils - I have been using EOs since 2019. It was my HS classmate who's a doctor who finally convinced me to use them. I do a lot of research though before using any oil to make sure it doesn't interact with my meds. I diffuse several times a week and the boys love it too because it makes our home smell good. 

4. Drinking Lots of Water - I doubled my water intake. It made my blood flow better and resolved kidney issues. Feeling good means less anxiety. 

5. Exercise - this was never in my dictionary. The only willing exercise I used to do was malling*. It's the only place I could easily get 10k steps. My back ached so bad after my first PE I had to go see a spine doctor. He enrolled me in physiotherapy. My PT said I should treat exercise like the requirement to brush my teeth. Strangely that's what got me moving! As long as I do at least 30 wall push-ups a day I've been okay. This has helped expand my lungs, keep my core firm and keep my joints working properly. I guess it helps produce needed endorphins too. I'm not as grumpy anymore. 

6. Hugs - get at least 8 hugs a day. 

7. Do some gardening - watering plants have been helping me with balance. I use it as escape time to stay offline too. 

8. Stay offline - my doctors mandated this for me. I set up my phone to track how much time I spent online. It took me four months before I became less wired. I realized that my doctors mandate to stay offline was the best advise they gave me. 

9. Get a hobby - I read that anxiety stems from being unable to control a situation. I found it very useful to work on my hobbies. It made me feel accomplished whenever I finished a project. Working on your hobbies also help keep you offline and away from triggers!

10. Know your triggers. A good understanding of what stresses you out is important in managing your well-being. Part of this includes surrounding yourself with people who truly love you. 

Of course, pray and always remember that Papa God loves you. 

*Malling - going to the mall to shop!

The First Week of the Year

The week just flew by after we had our New Year celebratory lunch with Mom. I've only been keeping track of the day through my meds, LOL. I've been writing the day of the week on my primary medication to make sure I drink it on the right day and time. #titahitz

Hello Brownie! Not mine, but she lives in Mom's house.

At this time of the year I'm normally finalizing my work goals and targets. My whole year would revolve around it and whatever I wanted to do outside of work had to adjust to it. I just realized I have a very clean slate, haha. I'm keeping things slow for now to make sure I remain stable. 

The first week of the year brought alarming news. Cases have drastically gone up and even those who have been very careful have gotten infected. It's reached our family too and all we can do is pray for each other (the Paranaque contingent remains safe don't worry). It's really best to stay home if you can. 

My project to get my childhood home fixed has been put on hold for now. I'm just praying it won't rain so that the roof won't leak and cause more damage. I told the contractor we'll schedule when things are safer. I'll also have my Mom stay with me while the roof is being fixed. She'll probably make a fuss over not having access to her garden, but her safety will be the priority. Other home projects are also on hold. Best we can do is finish organizing the kitchen and focus on planning. 

Mama Mary protect us.

I think the most productive thing I did this week was work on my garden. The bell pepper seeds Miggy and I planted before Christmas has produced 23 sprouts! The spring onion and leeks are stable now and growing nicely. I was also able to re-pot the citronella plants I got a month ago. They've outgrown the temporary plastic pot and needed a new home. I got really nice clay pots for them. 

I have gardening gloves, but I want to feel what I'm doing better so I use latex gloves.

There's a meme showing that 2022 means 2020 too. Much as the case numbers are going crazy now, I think we're in a better position to win over the virus. We all know what we need to do -- get vaccinated and stay home as much as possible. Help where we can and pray. 

#BeKind #StayHome

Doors

The 1SE app reminded me with a message this morning, "Life doesn't stop for anyone." An apt reminder because I've been amiss with adding daily content. I've been so busy the past two weeks, I haven't even started preparing for Christmas. 

Well, the 1SE app brought me to think about doors. I'm having our doorknobs replaced. We always get injured from lever door handles and my doctor told me to avoid any kind of injury (fragile ka ghorl?). So we're replacing it with classic door knobs. And life is just like that, it doesn't stop for anyone. You can take a break, but everyone around you will be moving. 

There's a saying, "When a door closes, a window opens." When I woke up this morning I realized that God opened a huge door for me. I had been stuck in the "I'm sick loop" for a year now and much as I try to move on, I've been immobile. This morning felt different though, it felt like the key to a new door was unlocked. It felt strange because I was also having an asthma attack when the revelation happened. 

I read that one cause of depression is the feeling of helplessness. It does not go well when you also have PTSD. Both pushes you to want to have control and a better sense of worth. I struggled with sleep for a long time. It was only when I came home that I felt things start to resolve. I have been able to fall asleep faster (most nights) and my Fitbit tells me that my deep sleep time has improved a lot. I need to have a lot of deep sleep to heal better. 

I know my body will never go back to what it was before. I've been praying for healing for my body, mind, heart and soul. It takes a lot of time and faith. I think having my family and friends in close proximity, breathing in Philippine air (even with bad AQI sometimes) and getting proper vitamin D from the sun, is what helped unlock the new door. 

Life doesn't stop for anyone, but you can always pause and take a break when you need it. Do things that will make you happy. It may not be a window that opens, but you can always change the doorknob too. 

I pray you are in good spirits today my friend. I also pray for those affected by the wrath of Typhoon Odette. 

#Home44 #NewG202 #Xmas8 #StayHome #BeKind  

Becoming a Homemaker + Made Pinangat Pasta

I'm terribly slow when it comes to fixing stuff. It was the one thing that Mommy always scolded me on. I usually know where everything is, call it organized chaos. Well, they say mess creates stress. I remember in high school I would spend a lot of time fixing my room first before studying for final exams. I carried that on at work and when I do home projects. Doing that isn't really effective, so I've been correcting the habit by fixing as I go. I now try to integrate chores in my routine, i.e. putting away newly washed flatware while waiting for the water to boil. 

I'm not a natural homemaker like my Mom. I learned on the job when Sweetie, Miggy and I moved to our first home. It was a good thing we had home eco class back in high school, so I learned some basic stuff. The other skills I learned by watching videos on YouTube and doing research. I think the best way for me to tackle this is to look at it as home management rather than home making. That way it won't be as overwhelming. 

My Kuya will probably laugh at what I'm trying to do. I told him a few years ago that it was my dream job to be a housewife. He said, "You're not going to last. You'll probably want to work again after a few months." Well... my doctors recommended for me not to work because I shouldn't get stressed. My body also reminds me about my limitations everyday. So I have to be realistic with my expectations. 

Here's my plan:

1. Tackle things by parts.

2. Get help where you can. (Asked friends for suggestions on how to fix our pantry aka sari-sari store).

3. Fix as you go so chores don't pile up. 

Overworked yesterday and had to lie down after dinner. I was finally able to get to know my new induction stove. It was mind boggling how it could have 10 temperature levels! My simple one-burner induction stove only had 5 levels. Well, it was fun swiping left and right to find the correct temp, haha. Made some pinangat pasta with ready-made pinangat. Here's how my cousin, Ate Odette, taught me how to make it --

Still hoping things will be a bit more organized by Christmas!

#Home40 #NewG206 #Xmas12 #StayHome #BeKind  

Thankful

We giggled as we ate our "Thanksgiving" dinner last night. It's Thanksgiving in the US and Miggy mentioned it as we started to eat dinner. "While everyone's eating turkey, we're eating Indomie," Sweetie said and that was when we giggled. We did order spinach lasagna for Thanksgiving, but only realized after that it will only be available on Saturday. We seriously need to do better in planning our meals. 

We enjoyed our meal. What's more important for us is we're together as a family. We're able to share stories, memes, weird ideas and funny memories in person. Sometimes when we need quiet time we retire in our room to recharge or do our own thing. Being together again is what I'm most thankful for this year. 

I am also thankful to be alive. I had my second PE* last January and have had complications after. I'm grateful for all the love and care from my family and friends. I'm also grateful to all my doctors, nurses and health workers who have cared for me. I am alive because of them and I thank God for giving me this chance to live. 

My only wish for now is for all my family and friends to be safe, healthy, secure, blessed and happy. I've also been praying for our country to have a leader who would bring peace, progress and prosperity. And, of course, bottomless prayers for all frontliners. My impossible cause prayer to St. Jude is for me to be healed. 

Being thankful and grateful is what has helped me the past few months. It's what has kept my PTSD** at bay. I'm still adjusting to my new life and I'm slowly accepting that my body is very different now. My biggest mistake post-OHS*** was to live like I didn't have surgery. I was bent on proving I could do everything. For now I'll just be thankful and grateful I have this chance to create more happy memories with family and friends. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

#Home23 #NewG223 #Xmas29 #StayHome #BeKind   

PE - pulmonary embolism

PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder

OHS - open heart surgery

Our New Life

I'm trying to push myself to move around more. Our tiny place does not allow me to reach my 2k daily steps. It's also been hard to find a corner where I can do my daily exercises. I've started to feel lethargic and my body has been telling me to move more to burn everything I'm eating. 

Yummy lasagna by Drake's Lasagna! Order from my friend Adrian Cruz :)

So yesterday we went down to check out the bazaar in our community. Only residents were allowed and there has been no active cases the past few weeks. It was fun to see the activity organized by the property management office with residents. Red and blue tents lined up the main road and residents sold a lot of different goods. 

It was a good day to go out. The sun was hiding and it seemed like it was going to rain. It was the perfect day for a walk. I was hoping to buy some coffee, but we ended up with three cups of latte, puto bungbong, and kwekkwek, haha. Not the best combination, but the three of us enjoyed it for merienda. The funny thing is Sweetie ended up buying Transformers toys in mint condition. It was being sold for a really good price, so he snatched it up immediately. 

Loving this new experience since I never really got to live long enough in our tiny home. I rarely go out, but I realized I missed it when neighbors and the property staff would nod and say hello. Every morning, the birds who live in our a/c enclosure would keep chirping until I wake up. When I move to the dining table, I'd hear the chickens clucking. There are days when the neighbors from the next property would party with karaoke singing. And, of course, we could hear the sounds from the Skyway. 

It's very different from our very quiet life in Singapore. The energy is very different. I could feel a very strong, lively vibe around me. I'm honestly feeling a bit tired from all the activity. I guess I'm still adjusting to the fact that at least two people talk to me now (haha) and there's more activity to traffic at home. I think I'll have to sleep the day away today, haha. 

I'm happy to be home. Happy I have my family and friends within reach. I'm happy I can indulge them also with a little something like cake or lasagna. And I'm super happy that I can get anything I crave for! I think I have to work on increasing my step count, need to burn all these calories! 

Happy Sunday everyone :)

#Home18 #NewG226 #Xmas34 #StayHome #BeKind  

Finally Slowing Down

Chatting with my work seatmate, I told him what I've been up to lately. We've been busy with re-organizing our home, but things are going super slow. He reminded me that's how it's supposed to be now that I'm "retired". That was a good reminder for me to just chill, relax and work on recovery. 

Seatmate spelled it out for me, "You're now completely free. You were probably anxious all those months you were on medical leave that you could still be asked to come back." What he said is true. I slept for three days at the hotel. It felt really strange because I would just conk out at a snap of a finger. And now that I'm home I also fall asleep faster. 

Now I understand why my doctors recommended me to leave my job. It was really for my own good and I'm happy they let me go through the process of letting go. It was like a break-up because I loved what I do. Through the process I learned to forgive myself, let go and move on. I catch myself smiling at odd times of the day, haha. This is really the first time I hit the brakes so hard and I'm just enjoying sitting still. 

We've been home for 9 days now and so far -

1. We finished one Survivor series (Caramoan). 

2. Got some things fixed at home, i.e. sliding door, stove is in progress. 

3. The pothos and baby rubber plant I brought home has grown roots. The pothos grew new leaves too. 

4. My kitchen's working now, well except for the stove. I ordered a one-burner stove since it looks like it will take time for La Germania to finish fixing it. I already want to cook the goodies a friend sent me (plus I received a gazillion eggs from Elvin and Lynette!). 

5. Ate amazing food. Period. 

I have a friend who's betting I will only do this for 3-4 months, hahaha. He said I'll probably yearn for the challenges I used to face. Well, we'll see, for now I just want to rest and focus on family and catch up with friends. 

P.S. It's really interesting how much people are using gadgets to prevent the spread of the virus. I see vloggers walking around with alcohol misters. Some use nano spray guns to disinfect deliveries. We never used those in SG and I wonder if everyone uses these things here? 

#Home15 #NewG229 #Xmas37 #StayHome #BeKind  

Freedom! The End of Our 10-Day Quarantine

We're finally "free" after serving six-days hotel quarantine and four-days home quarantine. Being in quarantine was not so bad. We were able to get some rest and re-organize our home. We were also able to attend a wedding of Gabby. We didn't have any issues re-adjusting to each other when we finally reunited with Miggy. All is good, just a lot of work needed to organize our home. 

Today we finally got to visit my Mom. We brought her to the park since there's a Christmas bazaar. Too bad her friends weren't around yet for the Christmas lights ceremony. We went to the bazaar to support our friends, Denz and Leejay, who were selling puto Binan. They gave Miggy some a month or two ago and we were so envious. We're going to have it for dessert tonight. Yay! 

We'll be focusing on fixing stuff this week -- my stove, Sweetie's car and possibly look for a replacement for our oven toaster. I'll also finish cleaning up the kitchen and will start the heavy task of clearing my closet. Freedom from quarantine doesn't mean we'll be going out for lakwatsa. We'll just go out as needed. 

Happy tummy delights we had today -

Tahoooooo, luckily got to order this from a neighbor! We always hear mamang taho pass by the warehouse beside us. Unfortunately, he doesn't come inside our place to sell. Saw a neighbor offering it yesterday and I immediately ordered three cups. Ahhhh, it was so good! I still want to be able to buy though from mamang taho. 

California maki, also from a neighbor (the one who made the kutsinta). In SG, they don't make California maki with mango so this was a good treat to get. We ate it for lunch with leftovers. 

Dinner is Jollibee which we got on the way home. I'm having my usual, Jolly spaghetti and Yumburger with cheese!

Puto Binan and sapin-sapin which we are having for dessert tonight. Yummm!

#Home11 #NewG233 #Xmas41 #StayHome #BeKind  

My Kitchen is Almost Open

We've now spent 72 hours at home and we're slowly making progress in re-organizing. We each have our own assignments. I've been working on the kitchen while Sweetie has been clearing out the balikbayan boxes we've sent in the last year. It's part two of the sorting and clearing operations we did in Singapore. Our goal is to reduce our things since we're merging two homes. 

I have been prioritizing our kitchen. It will be very unhealthy to keep ordering food. I haven't used my kitchen for two years so I have been washing everything. It's a good thing to do especially in the afternoons when it gets so hot. Finished everything on the counter yesterday and I'll start working on the cabinets today. It's also a good chance for me to sort and reduce our things. 

I did notice that Corelle plates used to be much thicker! The ones we had in Singapore were much thinner and lighter. I like the sturdiness of the older plates. Most of our kitchen items were wedding gifts. I've only replaced one frying pan so far, everything else still functions well. I need to have our electric range checked though. It takes so long for it to heat up and I'm not sure if the oven still works. Good thing it's quite easy to book service from La Germania. I hope it will still work for a few more years. I need it to work properly so I can finally cook some adobo. 

Last night we ordered Pancake House! Woohoo! My favorite arroz ala cubana wasn't available so I got the house special instead. It was amazing to eat it again. Aside from the good food, we have so many happy memories associated with Pancake House through the years. I'll probably order McDo tomorrow because I've missed their spaghetti haha. I wish though we could order some Makati Supermart spaghetti. That would make me so happy. 

Just another day at home. I love how we all converge to hang out on the dining table all day. Happy :)

#Home9 #NewG235 #Xmas43 #StayHome #BeKind  

Rediscovering Home

We're on our final stretch before we board the plane that will bring us back home. I'm so happy that we've been able to meet with our closest friends. It's hard since the restrictions allow you only two visitors per day and that includes service crew. Things fell into place during the weekend so we've been able to see some friends. I'm going to miss them so much. 

Wow! It's already November! Sweetie reminded me that it's All Saints Day today. The day we usually visit our loved ones in the cemetery. I haven't been able to visit my loved ones in the cemetery for a long time now. That's one of the things we'll do when we get back home. I know though they are always watching over us. Throughout my ordeal my Dad would always visit me in my dreams. Mom (my MIL) also visited during the time I was doing my biopsies. Their visits gave me the strength to fight. 

Going home in a few days. I'm so excited! I just hope we won't have any issues and that we'll be safe. I can't wait to see Miggy and collect my bottomless daily hugs again. And I'm looking forward to seeing my Mom again. We'll probably wait a few days more before we go see her just to be super safe. I'll probably cry when I see them again. 

It's been 20 months since I've been home. That's the longest I've been away. I'm sure there's been a lot of changes and I look forward to rediscovering things. The first thing I want to do is eat all the food I've missed and buy the groceries I've been longing for (haha!). I also want to see the rest of my family and friends, but we'll have to see how we can do that safely. At least when I'm back home I could send them random food or things I bake. Just the thought of being in close proximity to more people I love makes me want to cry. 

And who knows maybe being back home will help me complete my recovery process. I really hope I could go biking outside in the next few months. My doctors would love that since they also prescribed me to get enough daily sunshine! 

CB////*Yr2/203 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/224 #NewG247 #Home3 #Xmas55 #StayHome #BeKind 

Our Last Month in Singapore

I guess I was really exhausted and drained. I slept for 12 hours! I haven't had a day where I could just chill. We've been very busy the past few weeks (check out my one second per day video below) with the move, organizing documents and preparing our home in Manila for our arrival. 

I usually take a photo by the lift whenever I go out for errands or doc appointments.
This was for the month of October. 

Transitioning back home has been a huge project altogether. I'm glad the only poking doctors did to me this month is the two vaccinations I got, my second COVID-19 vaccination dose and a flu shot. I lived through very minor symptoms of the flu shot while the shipping crew was packing up our house. 

I knew our last month was going to be very busy. I had to detail what to do per day to make sure I don't miss anything. There were some surprises along the way, like finding out that my giant luggage wasn't going to survive another trip. We also had to let go of some things we wanted to do because we don't have the time for it anymore. 

The most important lesson I learned this month is to let go of things you don't have control over. A forgiving heart also helps a lot with your well-being. I will be forever grateful for the decade I got to spend in Singapore. It was a really great run and I go home with a lot of learnings and skills I could hopefully use for my new mission. 

Here's a preview of our last month in Singapore through a one second per day video -

And now my next task is to send out that farewell email I've been procrastinating to do for a few weeks now. I'm dropping off my devices at the office tomorrow so please reach out to me via my personal accounts. We're also changing our home address so please ping me if you're sending snail mail :)

CB////*Yr2/202 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/223 #NewG248 #Home4 #Xmas56 #StayHome #BeKind