My Pulmo Rehab Journey

My therapists suggested I should blog about my pulmo rehab journey. I'm supposed to complete 16 sessions within two months. It's been a month since I started and I have not met the target. My immune system and stamina hasn't been able to keep up, so there were weeks I was only able to do one session. 

I had done cardiac rehab after heart surgery, rehab for my shoulder, and rehab for my back. Pulmo rehab is the "lightest" kind of rehab I've experienced. Light because it's mostly breathing exercises targeted to expand your lungs. The goal is to strengthen my lungs and save the good parts. The exercises look easy to do, but they wipe me out. 

Three out of the five sessions I've done rendered me useless for the rest of the day, haha. I have four therapists who switch with each other depending on how I did previously. Yesterday, Ronald took charge of my session. He said he used to do cardiac therapy. My other therapists, Jeff and Ameera, popped in during my session to say hello. 

Jeff mentioned that I have a classmate who's just like me. They have to adjust our exercises to match our endurance. I'm glad they did because I was able to function the rest of the day. I even got to do some light gardening. Yaaas!

I reported to my pulmo doctor last week that the handful of sessions I've done have improved my endurance. I fell ill again though with a viral infection and missed a session. I decided to see my doctor because I've been feeling unwell and lethargic. He said I just needed to rest and drink more water. I oftentimes feel guilty when I miss sessions, but it seems common for people like me.

Pushed myself to attend yesterday's session. I wanted to rest more, but I didn't want to fall behind on my sessions. I do some of the exercises everyday. I have to remember though not to overdo things so I can improve steadily. I'm just so far happy that I have more good days now than bad days. 

If your doctor recommends you to do pulmo rehab, do it! I realized I'm 5 years late for it. I should have probably been recommended to do it back in 2018 when I had my first PE. And probably more cardiac rehab after my heart surgery. But, it's never really too late to start. Just keep going! :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

Pulmo Rehab

Had my fourth pulmo rehab session yesterday. I guess the center thought it was time to level up my exercises. We did last Thursday's one hour session in 30 minutes and I was taught new exercises in the second half. We are working on increasing my endurance since I am limited to doing one activity per day. 

Ended up resting the rest of the day. I took two long naps after. I was winded since we also went out yesterday. I did 3x the usual steps I make. Usually it takes a couple of days to recover whenever I go out. My cardio and pulmo worked in tandem to have me do pulmo rehab. They said it should help strengthen my lungs and reinforce the healthy parts. 

I've been doing my pulmo rehab online. I originally wanted to do it in person so the PT can gauge my capacity better. Ended up doing it online which is fine since I don't have to travel to the hospital. Saves me time, energy and gas. 

Been in touch with my former PT. She's back in London and has been busy teaching. She was really good to me. I was sent to her to do PT for my back, but she realized she had to deal with my lungs first before I could do any of the back exercises. The sessions were excruciating and I'm really lucky she was very patient with me. We developed a friendship and have been in touch since I last did a session with her in 2021. 

I have so far experienced 3 PTs now. I think they switch around depending on your progress. They are all efficient and kind and I'm surprised they keep tabs on what you go through. They also don't shy away from questions because I raised the issue about climbing stairs. Told my PT yesterday I encountered steep stairs last Monday and it was really hard for me. He taught me how to deal with it. I'm going to practice it when I've recovered. 

I have 12 more sessions and have to see my doctors midway to check on my improvement. I think it's so far been very helpful. How I wish I did this sooner (like since 2018). I could have probably avoided gaining more scars and lung issues, but doctors have different schools of thought. My PT told me yesterday, "Well at least you know you're one of a kind." Haha, yes, indeed. 

#BeKind #StaySafe 

Wellness Wednesdays: Addressing Personality Flaws

My doctors told me that my biggest flaw is my type A personality. They told me I'd end up killing myself if I don't slow down. I kept brushing off their observation and would just laugh it off whenever it was brought up.

I didn't believe them. It came to a point one of my doctors wrote a note to my manager to prohibit me from traveling. I stopped for awhile, but eventually went back to my old ways. My thick head couldn't accept the fact that what my mind thought I could do, didn't measure up to what my body could deliver. 

After my second PE* my doctors sat me down and advised me to retire. I followed their advise because my body gave up. Looking back, I should have thrown in the towel after my first PE. I wouldn't be this weak today if I listened to my doctors in 2018.

I thought after retiring I'd get better. I didn't because I once again battled issues that I should have delegated. I just got worse and worse and here I am today still in survival mode. One good day can be followed by several bad days. It is exhausting.

I realized that my issue is intrinsically tied to my personality flaw. I'm such a go getter, I get so anxious just watching things happen. I also feel so bad when there's something I can't do. 

I got good advise from a neighbor who told me to block someone who kept pestering me even though we've told this person countless times that someone else is in-charge of the matter. It took all my will not to respond. I lost a lot of sleep worrying over it. 

Since stress causes my heart to enlarge I have resolved to finally address my flaw. I know it's going to freak me out because I'd feel I'm being irresponsible and uncaring. I just need to remind myself that I have done what I could, delegated to able bodied people and let them step up. It's also the only way for me to hopefully get better. 

*PE - pulmonary embolism 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Miracle Sundays: Be Steadfast

The new year feels wore off just after a few days. I busied myself in the kitchen because I wanted to see the floor which was still covered in boxes. 

If there's one thing I learned about managing a chronic illness, it's to take things one day at a time. A subset of that is to do at least one percent better from the previous day. 

There was probably around 20 boxes of kitchen items the angels packed before the renovation. It was the combination of two kitchens. Miggy helped me with the first ten boxes and then I worked on the rest. 

Tried to do as much as I could but it left me tired, unweyand grouchy. Changed tactics to just one box a day. That worked and I'm down to two boxes and a bag of stuff. It took up a lot of time because I had to handwash everything.

I'm truly grateful I could move around more because I haven't been able to do these things in the past three years. There is always hope and I'm thankful for all the prayers. 

Be steadfast in your faith.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Keeping PTSD Under Control

I have PTSD for a long time now. I had done well post-OHS because I was able to keep myself busy. It was the PEs*** that ruined me and my game. It is common for blood clot survivors to have PTSD and it's only recently that a study was started to investigate it further. 

I had the worst PTSD attack two months ago. It shattered the coping mechanisms I established. It even re-opened old wounds and caused a cardiac episode. It was very scary and it took all my will to hang on and fight back. It took all my strength to get out of the hole. I even tried to look for a local doctor to help me, but I was told there is a shortage. It meant I had to try harder. 

I did not want to take the emergency meds I set aside. I already conquered it early this year. Taking it would mean I'd really need to see a doctor. I re-traced my journey to remember what steps I took to establish my coping mechanisms. Thought I'd write it down in case I need it in the future.

1. Focus on happy memories, that's the purpose of the happy memories photo book. 

2. Progress together with your sewing/quilting projects. At least 1% better than yesterday.

3. Grow something. Refresh your soul by spending a lot of time in the garden (also effective in keeping you offline). 

4. Exercise, start with stretching exercises then graduate to more strenuous ones when you can. 

5. Get a pet. A cat adopted us and he's so far brought us joy. We eagerly wait to see if he eats the food we give him. This is a new add on my list. It will probably be a bad idea to pet the cat (if he allows me), so I'm just content he's around. 

6. Get lots of hugs. 

And, of course, pray hard. 

I watched a video about managing intense emotions. She advised to just accept and embrace it, but remind yourself that it is happening because it was triggered. Writing can help release you from it. You also don't really need to talk about it, just ride it out. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

*PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder

**OHS - open heart surgery

***PE - pulmonary embolism

Miracle Sundays: Thrombosis Day 2022, What You Need to Know About Blood Clots

It was World Thrombosis Day on October 13. I completely forgot about it since I was busy with my quilt projects. I thought I'd blog about blood clots today since I noticed there are more people joining the patient group I'm in that had it due to COVID-19. 

I had pulmonary embolism in 2018. It was detected after being misdiagnosed as asthma for over a year. It was only found after my second opinion doctor ordered a CT scan. My first respiratory doctor kept dismissing my complaint for shortness of breath as severe asthma. Even the ER which I visited several times thought it was mild pneumonia. 

That time I had a second venogram, one of the many tests I went through.

Blood clots in the lungs (PE) or legs (DVT) can be caused by several things. It can be genetic, a compression in your pelvis (May Thurner Syndrome) or provoked by pregnancy or birth control pills (common). And now it can be caused by COVID-19 (read more here). After the boys had COVID-19, I insisted having them checked by a pulmonologist. 

The cause of my clots is unknown. After going through so many tests I thought I'll just let it remain a mystery. I'm just grateful I survived two episodes of pulmonary embolism. The huge clot though from 2018 is still hanging out in my lungs. It did not dissolve and has progressed to pulmonary hypertension. That's the reason why my doctors told me to retire. 

Be vigilant. Blood clots can be fatal (mortality rate of up to 30%, read more here). Clots also cause stroke, heart attacks etc. (read more here). I used to be so stable, but like other patients my mental health has been affected by the recurrent clots (read more here). It is, after all, a traumatic event. 

If you've recently been diagnosed with PE or DVT, it's best to join a patient group. I found comfort through the group and learned so much on how I can improve the quality of my life. Here are some helpful links -

• Thrombosis.org
• Stop the Clot Support Group 
• Patient Resource Guide - https://www.stoptheclot.org/new-patient-resource-guide-2/
  
• Questions to ask your doctor - https://www.stoptheclot.org/peer-support/questions-to-ask-your-doctor-about-blood-clots/ 

Surround yourself with loved ones and those who would support you. Avoid stress and keep praying. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Dealing with Life's Mysteries

I have learned to accept the fact that doctors and science cannot explain everything. The best way is to live your life the best way you can. I made this comment last night in the pulmonary embolism patients group. I remember when I joined the group many years ago, I was confused and anxious about the diagnosis. Getting a PE is always a surprise to everyone. You only find out you have it when it happens. 

In my case, it took over a year and getting a second opinion before I was diagnosed with it. I was bewildered and realized if I didn't push to see another doctor I'd probably be gone now. I didn't dwell on it at that time because I was busy preparing for a trip. I was grounded by my doctor after that trip, haha. I went on with my life, but eventually had a second PE. 

I actively comment back to new patients who join the group. I know and understand what they're going through. They are often frustrated, bewildered and lost. Looking for answers on why you had it. Some are lucky to know why they had it. Some get it because it's in their genes. Some due to birth control. Others due to giving birth. But there are people like me who would never know why I had it. 

I've made peace with that and embraced it as a life mystery. Doctors don't have all the answers. I've seen a good number of them. I did so many tests and they generally told me to just monitor and don't let anyone open you up again. My focus now is to improve my quality of life. Here's what I've learned so far:

1. Not all your questions will be answered, just let it be. Treat it as a mystery and just let God take care of you. 

2. The Nile is not just a river in Egypt. Denial will just frustrate you further. Just accept it and focus on improving your quality of life. 

3. Not many people will understand what you're going through. Some would be sympathetic, others would be distant. Others would expect you to be "normal". Just focus on appreciating those who are around you. 

4. Don't beat yourself if you can't be what you used to be. Just be at least 1% better than yesterday. 

5. Find simple joys and be grateful of everything. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Know Your Kryptonite

Now that my breathing has improved, I have a bit more energy now to move around. My doctor was happy with the progress I made tripling my daily step count. I truly believe that faith and putting your mind into getting well really helps. I've also been religious at taking my medication. I am still hopeful that the maintenance meds I take can be reduced. 

Faith, following your doctor's recommendations, taking your meds religiously, eating and sleeping properly is just part of the battle to being well. I want to have more good days than bad days (and maybe elimate bad days altogether). One thing that's worked well for me is knowing my kryptonite. This requires knowing your body well and listening to it. 

We came from a family trip recently and I'm really happy we were able to enjoy it. My major kryptonite are heat and bad air quality. We crossed the street earlier and I got dizzy even with an umbrella. We didn't make it to our targeted lunch place and instead went to the nearest resto. Whenever that happens to me I know I have sit in a cool place so I don't overheat. We immediately went inside the resto, sat down and drank water. I stabilized after a few minutes. 

I have many other things that affect my body. We're able to manage it well by knowing the triggers and avoiding it. I always bring a water bottle wherever I go and Sweetie has a portable fan in his bag. We bring a small air filter whenever we travel so I could rest well at night. Thankfully we haven't had the need to lug around an oxygen concentrator. I do need to avoid wearing a mask though, so we go out only when really needed. 

Did you know that starfish can heal themselves? They can regrow arms that are severed from their central disc and can grow again just from an arm (Source: The Guardian). Dr Joe Dispenza believes that humans can heal their body through their mind. My doctor was really surprised with my progress. Now that I have improved from less than 1k steps per days I have to make sure I don't slide back. I'm now trying to maintain 3k steps per day and including activities I wasn't able to do before I started progressing. Still a long way to go, but at least I'm a bit more productive everyday. 

Take care everyone! Keep your mask on whenever you're out!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Tips for Those with Invisible Disabilities

If you look at me you'd never think I am disabled. People always assume I function very well. What they don't know is my mobility is limited and I need help with many things. My energy and stamina is also very limited and I can only last 15 minutes on video calls. I rarely go out because I am immunocompromised and well there are good days and bad days. My boys keep me indoors so I don't get sick. 

Managed to pull myself together the day after a bad night.

I'm a handful to take care of, so here's a few tips for you and your carers (and spokespersons):

1. The Nile is not just a river in Egypt. Denying your medical condition is just going to make things harder for you and your carers. This was probably the best advise I got from my OG allergologist. It's easier to power on when you know what you're up against. 

2. Know your body. It took me awhile to understand whether I need medical attention from a doctor or when I can just solve an issue at home. It becomes more problematic when you have PTSD. Since I got home I've been more mindful of what's going on with my body. My doctor here advised that I should avoid going to the hospital as much as possible. 

Bad night due to bad AQI. Oxygen went down to 90 and I thought I was going to pass out. 
Really useful to have an oxygen concentrator. Solved the issue in 40 minutes and then I went to sleep.
 

3. Voice out what you need. I immediately tell the boys when I am having a bad day or when the AQI is bad. They change "modes" depending on how I'm doing for a day. When my triggers are turned on I discovered that sometimes you just need to rant to a trusted person and then you'll be okay. [See also my post on "Managing Stress and Triggers"]

4. Address issues as they come, don't wait for things to get worse. If you're in pain, it's better to do something about it than wait for it to go away. Things normally just don't "go away", they get worse! My physiotherapist advised that oftentimes there's pain that can usually be resolved with exercise. I exercise whenever I have back pain, leg and arm pain. I follow the exercises my PT taught me and that oftentimes resolves issues. 

5. See a doctor when you are "concerned". A lot of patients in the PE group I'm in ask whether they should see a doctor when they experience symptoms (i.e. leg swelling, shortness of breath). The advise of other patients is always the same, "Don't search your symptoms on Google. See a doctor." Our bodies are all different, so if you are having concerns, go see a doctor. 

6. Surround yourself with people who understand. I've been ridiculed because of my medical condition. Not everyone would understand so let it be. Just focus on those who truly love you. 

7. And most importantly, pray. Draw strength from your faith and the love from your family and friends. 

Having invisible disabilities is hard to manage and not easy to understand. Don't let it keep you from doing things you love. Just accept it and adjust as needed. Work with your doctors to see how you can improve the quality of your life. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Tripled My Steps!

I have a measly base of 1,000+ steps per day. Post-PE in 2018 I was able to do 6k per day when I'd go to work. This dwindled in post-2021 PE, but I was able to work it up to 3k when Sweetie and I would go to the park at night. I'd average 2k per day at home now, but this spiraled down to 800 to 1,000 in the past two months. I deteriorated after experiencing heat exhaustion in March. 

My new cardiologist worked her magic on me and I'm happy to share that I feel I'm getting better. I've been forced to move around more in the past two days when both Sweetie and Miggy had to isolate. I've been able to triple my daily step count average. And I had uninterrupted sleep last night. Yay! 

Renewing my stamina has been hard. I told Sweetie it's actually good I've been forced to fend for myself for now. I've had to rest in between serving* them meals. I only wash my own dishes since the boys have their own dishwashing paraphernalia so we could avoid contact. It's been therapeutic even though my knees shake after going up and down several times. What it tells me is I have hope. 

West Coast Park, Singapore, 2020.

I want to have a better quality of life. I don't want to live cooped up in the maker room and I definitely don't want to become a recluse. I'm lucky I have bosom buddies who I can chat with about mundane stuff everyday. And I definitely don't want to do an activity and then promptly get sick for a few weeks after. 

I prodded the boys to do an e-consultation today. I reached out to my pulmo, but he resumes his clinic on Monday. They're trying it now. Sweetie's antigen tests have been negative the past 4 days, Miggy also for two days. This is a good sign! I just want to make sure they don't have an infection, so they're talking to a doctor now. Maybe tomorrow Sweetie can rejoin me in the outside world! Yay! 

*Thank you to the trusty delivery service!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Hope from a Tiny Thing

"I'm always excited to meet a new complicated patient!" 

Finally met my new cardiologist this morning and that's what she said at the end of my appointment. I haven't had a proper check-up since I left Singapore. I've been feeling out of sorts since I got my booster shot and thought it would be good to see a doctor. I'm also overdue to do tests. I was supposed to do the tests in Singapore in August, but I don't think I should wait. 

I pushed to see a doctor because I've been feeling miserable. My activities have become more limited in the last six months. It's frustrating because I can't even cook regularly or spend more time gardening. My back has been complaining again from sitting too much. I've had to force myself to do wall-pushups everyday and hope I can eventually do some spinning again. 

The most important thing I got from my doctor today is hope. She's having me try a pill. She said she has many patients like me who have been able to resume their activities. That's what I hope will happen because I still want to be able to do things with my family. I'm grateful my doctor gave me some hope. I'm really glad my pulmonologist sent me her way since she specializes in patients like me! Yay!

#BeKind #StaySafe

 

Vitamin Sun

I'm probably hideously pale again. I've been cooped up in the bedroom since Saturday. Thought I'd be able to venture out already, but my body is still weak from the effects of the booster. I'm just glad my lungs don't feel sore anymore. The past six days feels like months of post-PE recovery compressed in a week. It's not fun. 

I get my daily dose of sunshine when I water my plants. It's a sacred time for me. I used to abhor watering plants, but now I like it because it calms me down. It makes me happy when they are happy when I give them something that spurs their growth. Ahh, the joys of being a plantita. 

I was feeling down again because of the effects of the booster shot. It really got me. I'm concerned that it may have a lasting effect on my body. I don't want what little stamina I have reduced. I got a different kind of vitamin sun today. I'm grateful to have friends who are bundles of energy and joy. 

A friend pinged me today and we talked about growing mushrooms. It was a good reminder for me to focus on getting well so I can do what I want to do. It was the boost of sunshine I needed. So today I will start on regaining my strength. I'll start with getting Mom some groceries (online of course), restart doing wall pushups and make a proper meal plan. Tomorrow I hope I'll manage to stay in the craft room during the day and maybe water the plants. 

One step at a time :)

#BeKind #StaySafe #VoteWisely

Breaking Routine to Attain a New Reality

I'm breaking the routine I have settled on this past week. I wake up, eat breakfast, drink my meds, check on the bell peppers, blog, prepare for lunch, water the plants then I settle in front of the sewing machine. I haven't been able to do anything else and realize I need to break the routine. I got so absorbed trying to finish the curtains I ended up setting aside all the other things I need to do. 

Settling in a routine is dangerous. If you stick to one too much it can stunt your growth. In my case, it left my other tasks in disarray. It's physically manifested with the mess I have behind my dining room chair, haha. I realized this last night and told myself I will break my routine today. 

Why is settling on a routine not good? Dr. Joe Dispenza who wrote "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" explained the science behind getting stuck in routines. He said that if you keep doing or acting the same way it puts your body in a stale state also. He proved this when he had an accident that left him paralyzed. He used his mind to heal his back. I'm probably not doing a good job explaining it, best to watch this video of Dr. Joe Dispenza -

"Your personality creates your personal reality" according to Dr. Joe Dispenza. So if you want to reach a goal or be something else then you have to create that future in your mind. Aside from working hard to reach a goal, you have to act like you have already reached that goal. 

Looking back when I was 17 and just had Miggy, Ate's HS classmate who went through the same thing told me that things would be so different in 10 years. Something clicked in my mind then and I imagined what we would be in 10 years. I created a future in my mind where I was in a stable job and Miggy was in school. I focused on that reality and what I painted in my mind did happen. 

And that's what I did last year when I was very, very sick. I knew part of the healing process required me to break my habits. It forced me to create a different reality. I wanted and needed to have my family physically together and I always dreamed of having a permanent home. It required a huge change for all of us, but because I kept working on creating that future in mind things just fell into place. 

So now that I have attained some of my goals, I have to work on my other goals. I have a picture in my mind where I'm able to bike around our village. I'm still hopeful and have faith that I could fully heal. 

#BeKind #StayHome 

What I'm Doing to Refill My Tank

My tank has finally started to fill up. I was running on fumes for more than a year. I really wondered how I could refill my tank. I learned that you should heed the signs when your tank is running low. The signs were there as early as 2018, but I just kept going. I'm a trooper after all, but it's really important to take care of yourself. 

Oh before I forget, today is my 9th mitral valve repair anniversary. My heart has been thumping nicely for 9 years already. My surgeon really did a great job and he says that everytime he peaks at the valve, haha. The valve is leaking a bit again, but they said no need to worry as long as I limit my activities. My doctors are amazed how I'm able to recover from all my health issues. 

Faith, hope and love. That's my secret. I have been praying for a miracle because my family needs me. I think I'm finally stable now and it's truly a miracle I have not visited a medical facility for two month now. Thank you Lord! I'm really happy about it because I'm able to do things for my family. 

If you're not careful, you can run on empty like me. Thought I'd share what I did the past year to refill my tank:

1. Pray for healing, truly, madly and deeply. I also prayed for help from Mama Mary, Padre Pio and St. Jude. 

2. Forgive yourself. I beat myself up for not being able to contribute to anything. It triggered my PTSD all the time. 

3. Accept that there are things you cannot change. Treat it as Papa God's way of pushing you to a new path. 

4. Take a break. Take as long as you need. It's okay not to function as you normally would.

5. Surround yourself with people who love you truly. 

6. Do things that make you happy. 

7. Learn to say no. No, no, no, no! Haha. I still get invitations to speak and people can get pushy! They don't understand that my voice runs out after a few minutes of talking. It's a mechanical issue. So i just keep saying no. Sorry guys. It is what it is.

8. Move on and discover new things about yourself. Since I had to stop doing what I loved to do, I moved on and discerned my new mission. Just family for now. 

9. Indulge yourself. I'm so far happy my weight has stayed stable since I got home, haha. I'm not pressuring myself to lose more. Just focusing on increasing daily movement for now. 

10. Get as many hugs as you can everyday. I squeeze my boys like crazy several times a day. 

#BeKind #StayHome

Be the One Who Goes for It

My energy has been going kaput by midday the past few days. We've been very busy and I've been forced to take the stairs and that's partly to blame for my stamina drain. My energy though is hinged on faith, love and willpower. I would not wish what I'm going through on anyone*. 

I'm still very fragile and last week my PTSD was triggered when someone nonchalantly trivialized my pain. This person had not even bothered to review all the doctor reports and test results they had asked me to submit. I immediately felt unwell midway through the meeting and wanted to walk out. I asked Sweetie to be my spokesperson for the rest of the meeting. 

No bed? No problem, can rest on a rug and a bubble-wrapped rug. 

I tried to rationalize that they probably had no idea about my illness. I've been experiencing the same treatment since I got sick last year. The lack of compassion is just really sad. It's also been frustrating because I just want to move on and live my life the way I want. 

"Be the girl who just decided to go for it. Live life with no regrets." Saw this on IG and it made me realize that I shouldn't care so much about what other people think (even though my future depends on it). I already made the decision to follow the advise of my doctors to live a stress-free life and I should just live by my choice. It is at this point that my faith tells me not to worry because God will always take care of us. 

Aja!

"God disturbs our comfortable day-to-day existence. Jesus' kinship goes hand in hand with His Passion." (Pope Benedict XVI)

#Home30 #NewG216 #Xmas22 #StayHome #BeKind   

*Going up on a stairway is probably similar to the last leg of hiking on Mt. Everest or maybe try going up a stairway with a sack of rice on your back.

The Perils of Being Home

I know I've been eating too much the past two weeks, so I tried to cut down beginning yesterday. I haven't even weighed myself since I got home since our weighing scale is in a LBC box on a ship on it's way here. I feel a bit heavier and that's not good for my body. It's really hard to stop eating when all your favorite food is just within reach!

We haven't been able to cook because my stove conked out. It's taking awhile for the repair center to come back and replace the hot plates. I decided to get a single burner stove and it got delivered last night. This will help us prepare healthier dishes. I'm glad Miggy has taken a liking to cooking, so he can assist. 

The cost of living is really much cheaper here, which means it's taken a lot of willpower to resist shopping. I was really happy though that I was able to get good deals for some items we need during 11.11. It's not just Lazada or Shopee doing crazy offers, but also legacy stores like Abenson, Our Home, SM Appliance Center. I was able to buy three shower heaters for the price of two! Wow! It just takes a bit more research and digging through offers to get good deals. 

I'm not sure if it's pollen, dust or pollution, but the air quality the past few days has been very bad. I've been having asthma attacks everyday, ugh. I just had one while writing this post and thought I was going to keel over. Good thing I was able to calm myself and take deep breaths. I'm not really used to having severe attacks. They're generally mild and I can usually stop it in its tracks. I probably need to keep the windows and doors closed for now. 

I love being home and we're still adjusting to our new life. A bit of discipline is needed to make sure we don't run dry too soon, haha. I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with my boys and my Mom. Ahh, it means I have to sacrifice the calories for the next few weeks so I can indulge for Christmas. It's going to be hard though! 

It's a new week! What new experiences would it bring?

#Home19 #NewG225 #Xmas33 #StayHome #BeKind  

First Week: How I Know I'm Truly Home

It's been a week since we got home from hotel quarantine. It took me a few days to wrap my head around the fact that I'm truly home. I'd wake up confused when we were still at the hotel. I guess that's what happens when you get stuck in one place for a long time. Things got better when we got home and I adjusted faster. Here's how I really knew I was home:

Big hair don't care. Hello humidity! Hahaha.

1. Bottomless hugs from Miggy - this is what I missed most when we were apart. 

2. I could breathe better here! Surviving without a/c the whole day! There are days though when the AQI gets a bit bad. We also just use the air filter at night. 

3. The FOOD! I wrote that in big bold letters. Since my stove needs repairing we have an excuse to order all our favorites for now. 

4. Friends sending more FOOD! We've been receiving care packages from friends! Yay! It's been a mix of my favorite food and new food to try (like the Lola Nena's donuts!). I'm so grateful since we've been receiving food from out of town too!

5. Rows and rows of Pinoy tsitsirya in stores! I saw this today at the convenience store at our place. 

6. Kakanin everywhere! I should have seriously ordered two boxes of the puto Binan!

7. It's also much easier to get help here. When we arrived from the hotel we immediately got help from the maintenance folks to haul up our stuff. And at the airport, Sweetie was able to rest because the manongs took over everything. 

Neighbor's carpenter fixing our sliding door. 

8. I was deliriously happy when I was finally able to switch my Google Play country to the Philippines! I immediately changed all my subscriptions because they're just a third of the price compared to Singapore (well except internet!). And the prices of fabric on Shopee and Lazada, O-M-G! It's really going to reduce the cost of my projects.

9. Humor online. We all know how Pinoys can be funny at any kind of situation. Check out this posting for garter I saw the other day. LOL. 

10. And the daily politics teleserye. However funny it may seem, it's really a huge concern how things are turning out. We all need to take action and pray hard we don't go further down in the dump. Sigh. 

Of course, internet is spotty. I ended up writing this post across an hour because connection kept going up and down. Welcome to the Philippines! :D

#Home13 #NewG231 #Xmas39 #StayHome #BeKind  

Nesting

We became empty nesters in late 2019 when Miggy decided to go back home after graduating. We felt lost for a long time. I remember Sweetie and I would stay out as late as we could to avoid going back to an empty home. It was hard and was probably one of the reasons why I had to take a break back then. 

We tried to extend Miggy's visa when he brought me back to Singapore in 2020. The government became stricter though and he ended up going home in late February. He went home just before the lockdown started. Thus started the 22 month time apart. It literally broke me. 

For almost two years we subsisted with daily check-ins via chat. We tried to make it fun by outdoing each other with good night memes. What we missed most were the hugs and Miggy would tuck us in at night and turn off our lights. We had a lot of mundane family rituals which was important to all of us. 

Watch our emotional reunion at the end.

Now that we're back home we just automatically started doing our daily rituals. We were definitely not ready when Miggy left the nest in 2019 and being apart because of the pandemic made things worse. Now I'm thinking, maybe the extreme stress from work and being apart is what made me sick. My doctors warned me that going home does not mean I'm going to get well instantly. I know that. I think half the battle is making my family complete again. 

Good thing Miggy missed us too! Haha. Things are settling nicely at home. I have made progress with cleaning up the kitchen. I can start cooking again soon. I hope the La Germania service crew can fix my stove. Also need to have our sliding door locks fixed since the heat broke it again. We got our tiny place 8 years ago and this is the first time we're living in it permanently. There's a lot of things here and there that needs fixing. 

Some things I learned through the years on maintaining a home:

1. Get professional cleaners to help every so often. We also get the mattresses and couch cleaned. 

2. When appliances break down, it's best to course the service request through the brand service center. It's been so far easy to get help by booking for help online, i.e. La Germania, Carrier. 

3. If you live in a condo, it helps to be nice to the staff. We had a gazillion luggages when we arrived and we bumped into the maintenance crew. They willingly helped us bring everything up. They've also been helpful to Miggy the whole time we were away. If you have a good relationship with the maintenance crew they can also help with disposing pre-loved items. 

And on the food front, here's what I had yesterday -

Quickmelt cheese and Lady's Choice mayonnaise combo sandwich - I initially freaked out when I learned about this from my busmate. I fell in love with it when I tried it. Super missed it since Quickmelt is hard to find in SG. 

McDonald's spaghetti! 

Army Navy hungarian sausage. We're still doing the rounds of ordering food we've missed. Will start cooking next week hehe. 

The best merienda though was the kutsinta we bought from our neighbor. For the first time we didn't have an kakanin leftovers! Haha. 

Annnddd my first Shopee purchase was Serioso Chili Garlic! Heehee. Try it gais!

#Home10 #NewG234 #Xmas42 #StayHome #BeKind  

Acclimating

Ahhh, life in the Philippines. It's been 48 hours since we got home. I have been sleeping better and breathing better. My lungs are happy. Some would say that there's more air pollution here, but I grew up here so my lungs are used to it. I have been skipping my inhalers since I feel fine. The one thing I'm adjusting to is the heat. I've increased my water intake by 25% to combat it and I've been coping well so far. 

My neighbor told me to take my time acclimating. I've been taking it slow. We're still living out of our suitcases as of the moment. Our house is in a disarray and we're working on organizing it. Yesterday I spent at least an hour just washing dishes. I had the fright of my life when I unearthed a dried up house lizard under the dish rack. Awww, poor Dengge 402. We've been naming the house lizards who have been plying our ceiling since 2009. Haha. 

Did you notice that the evening breeze has started to become cooler? I enjoyed it a lot last night from the balcony. This means Christmas is coming! I have been looking around for decors since I don't know if my existing ones have survived three years of heat. I hope our Belen is okay. We'll look into decorating once we have things more organized. 

One of the things I'm enjoying now is ordering food I've missed a lot. When we got home, Miggy had an array of food from Chowking. In the evening we ordered Shakey's. Yesterday we received care packages from Chelle and Ms. Myna. Chelle sent mind-blowing Lola Nena's triple cheese donuts. It arrived just in time for merienda and we enjoyed it a lot. Ms. Myna's care package included goodies from Dayrit's! We'll probably have that for dinner and we're excited to try the cacao tea. Thanks so much Chelle and Ms. Myna for the care package. <3 <3 <3

So apparently there's a different way of doing groceries here. My Shopeeholic friend Ederic advised that it's better to buy items from brand stores on Shopee. He said that the items come directly from their warehouse and you can get free delivery if you use ShopeePay. I'll probably try it next month, for now I ordered some basic groceries from SM since I'm more familiar with them. I have to plan our weekly menu better so I don't buy too much stuff. I also want to get my fruits and veggies from OnlingPalengke.com since their quality is much better than online groceries. Figuring out this grocery stuff is going to be fun!

I'm so far enjoying this acclimation period. We're just home serving our home quarantine. The best thing about it is Miggy's with us and I can call up Mom anytime using a landline phone (we can hear other better on it than a mobile phone). My doctor will also be happy to know that I'm spending two-thirds of the day without air-conditioning, haha. Maybe that will also help melt my fats, LOL. 

#Home8 #NewG236 #Xmas44 #StayHome #BeKind  

The Reset Button

I was a bit disoriented when I woke up to an empty apartment. Surprisingly found Sweetie on the couch and not the dining table where he usually hangs out. He was on the couch because he used his chair to hang some laundry on the balcony. All our conveniences are gone. It's probably on its way to Manila now on a ship. 

It's like a reset button has been pressed. It feels liberating just to have the basics. I just got what I need from the kitchen to get through the next two weeks. Most of the clothes I packed are for home use. The most radical move is downsizing to just one pillow and a small blanket. My Fitbit says I had 4x more deep sleep last night. 

We're starting fresh when we get home. Gone are the busy work-work-work days and now I have time to focus on what's really important in life. I was forced in this situation for a reason and I hope to fulfill my new mission properly. 

Stolen shot heehee. Gonna miss the view.

I thought the new journey would start once my technical last day comes. I realize now that the reset button was pressed a long time ago. I was holding myself back because I was afraid of fully embracing change. Kuya told me once, sometimes we care too much it's very hard for us to let go. I still feel guilty I could not continue to serve. I feel I let so many people down because they were counting on me to help. I just hope they understand I unfortunately got sick 

And so the ship has sailed. I'm on this new journey with Sweetie and Miggy. Cheers to making many new joyful memories!

CB////*Yr2/200 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/221 #NewG250 #Home6 #Xmas58 #StayHome #BeKind