Wellness Wednesdays: Small Steps Matter

I had fallen into a rut the past couple of months. I know now what triggers it. I functioned based on need which also meant a lot of stuff I was doing fell behind. I'm lucky Sweetie and Miguel are very patient and understand when there are days I can't do anything. 

I learned sometime ago that improving at least 1% from yesterday is better than nothing. I was reminded of this yesterday when I chanced upon a post that said, "Small steps matter". One thing I learned about falling in a rut is not to fight it. The more you fight it, the deeper you sink in the rut. 

The best thing about it is I was prepared to go through the process of pulling myself out of the rut. A few weeks ago I knew I was ready to pull myself out of the rut and started thinking about small steps I could take. 

I started with making sure I could attend my pulmo rehab sessions. I only got to attend one or two sessions during the summer months. I'd end up unstable on the day of my session and would cancel my appointment. My therapists understood. Apparently my classmates were the same! Humidity is truly bad for us. 

Anyway, I started by avoiding doing anything heavy the day before my sessions. When that didn't work too well, I asked to re-schedule my session to a time which I felt I could commit better. That worked for me and attending the sessions give me better sleep and more energy. 

I also changed how I pray. I've been very specific with what I need help on and God does answer prayers. I feel I'm slowly leaving the rut I fell in. Always remember, God only gives you challenges that you can bear. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

My Coping Mechanisms to Keep My Heart and Mind Healthy

I always thought I had a very strong will and mind. I was unfazed when I had open heart surgery. Things started crumbling when I had pulmonary embolism. A year before I was diagnosed I was in and out of the ER and my respiratory doctor back then just kept upping my asthma meds. I only discovered what was ailing me when I went for a second opinion.

The struggle affected my mental health. It came to a point when I had a second pulmonary embolism, I couldn't push myself anymore. I almost gave up, but I reached out for help and my doctor counselled me to work on my coping mechanisms.

I recently saw a friend post how to deal with things. It said rest when you're tired. Read or do something creative when you're uninspired. Exercise when you feel depressed.. etc. For the life of me I couldn't find the post anymore. It was a re-shared post, so it's harder to find. Anyway, in my mind I do everything it suggested, so thought I'd make my own list.

Here's what I do when I feel blah -

• Tired/weak - I sleep or I go to our cats
• Antsy - I do some gardening
• Angry - I do the dishes or clean or take a long shower
• Uninspired - I read
• Bored - I watch videos (YouTube/movies/TV)
• Unbalanced - I sew
• Depressed - I pray + do something that makes me happy (any of the activities mentioned above)
• Sad - be grateful (make a list of things to be grateful about/be grateful for someone's success)
• Procrastinating? Prioritize the task and follow-up with a happy activity
• Need a boost of happiness?  Play with cats.

One thing I also learned is to avoid triggers. Know what they are so you can avoid it and understand how best to deal with it. I lessened my time doom-scrolling and have kept my circle small. There are things I just can't deal with anymore. I used to jump and join everything, but I realized I have to protect my peace. 

What about you? What are your coping mechanisms?

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Hugging

I get at least 8 hugs a day from Miggy and more from Sweetie. A friend told me that one should get at least 8 hugs a day. An article from SciHealth said that hugs provide a lot of benefits. It helps reduce stress. It gives your immune system a healthy boost. It may lower heart rate and blood pressure. And it could help with depression. 

I live for hugs and I brought up Miggy to love hugging. The first thing he does in the morning is hug me and it's the last thing he does when he says good night too. It was really difficult for me when we were apart because of the pandemic. The first thing we did when I finally got home was to hug. 

Hugging is good for you! Do it at least 8 times a day. It will help you feel good throughout the day :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

Moving On and Conquering Pain

I'm honestly thinking twice about getting another booster shot. The effects of the booster shot affected me physically and mentally. Whenever I get sick my spirit gets sick also and last week felt like six months worth of post-PE symptoms compressed into a week. Yes, it was that bad. My lungs were on fire for three days. Then it all stopped suddenly and I slowly got better over the weekend. The first two doses of the vaxx felt like a walk in the park. 

Anyway, what's important is I'm better now. I'm still experiencing odd asthma attacks, but I'm fighting it back. Last week felt like Geralt fighting the striga, the weekend felt like the sun finally rose again. That's how I deal with pain and stress. I look it in the eye and I tackle it. Whatever I went through last week seemed to have killed off the pain I've been feeling since I left my beloved job. 

Welcome to our messy fam room!

Leaving the job I spent 15 years of my life on was really painful. It felt like I was breaking up with someone. To be honest, I couldn't even wear my Google shirts. I would, but rarely, because it felt heavy. At some point I even told Sweetie to stop wearing them when we were still in Singapore. Well, last Saturday I purposely wore my favorite red "uniform" and it felt okay. Today I wore a the 2012 Android Dev Camp shirt and it feels okay. To me it means I have conquered the pain. 

Time is all I needed to move on. It's been a year since I decided to leave. They held onto me though until November, hoping I would change my mind. I'm still being recruited to do stuff for them, but my health wouldn't allow it. I like my life now and whatever energy I have I'd rather spend it with my family. It is a limited resource, so I have to prioritize. 

Live, love, learn, forgive, let go and be grateful. Life is fleeting, so accept what it is you have and pray hard for guidance. 

Happy Monday everyone!

#BeKind #StaySafe #VoteWisely

Sunshine

Are you getting enough sunshine?

One thing I look forward to doing everyday is watering the plants. It's the time of the day where I get some sunshine. I usually try to do it around 4:30 in the afternoon when it's not too hot anymore. I've been doing this since we moved and noticed I'm not paper white anymore! Haha! 

Getting some sun back in 2017 at Nami Island, South Korea.

The sunshine has also helped me resolve my vitamin D deficiency. I was experiencing a lot of body pain and joint pain. A roller coaster ride of tests led me to a rheumatologist. He had to review whether I had an autoimmune disease. Luckily I don't, but he found out I was severely vitamin D deficient. I'm supposed to take 50,000 IU of vitamin D3 every week for four months. 

Two months in this was reduced to 25,000 since I showed symptoms of toxicity. I emailed my doctor in SG when this happened. Good thing he responded immediately and advised to reduce the dosage. My rheumatologist was the "last stop" I made to determine what caused my clots. He had a huge headache after going through all my files. He told me that he'd try his best to end the investigation. He also explained that sometimes there are just mysteries that never get resolved. 

Flexing my zipper* in Boracay, 2014.

By the time I had gone to the rheumatologist I had gone through many tests. I had also seen many other specialists. I had already accepted that my clotting issue would remain a mystery. I was not surprised anymore when the doctor told me I didn't have an autoimmune disease. I'm just grateful that my prescription was to take vitamins and get more sun! 

The sun provides us a lot of benefits and it's for free! The sun helps with vitamin D which contributes to better immunity. It also helps with your mental health because it's a mood booster. This is probably my Mom's secret. She gardens twice a day. That's probably how she's remained strong and permanently in a good mood. 

Thank you Papa God for always providing us with good sunshine everyday! :)

#BeKind #StayHome #StaySafe

*zipper - open heart surgery scar

How Tiny Habits Improved My Life

I chanced upon a helpful video on YouTube a few weeks ago. It's about developing 21 tiny habits to improve your life effortlessly (video here). I realized I started to do that in the past few months. I had severe shortness of breath the first half of the year. This was due to the blood clots in my lungs and additional complications. 

I was really keen to get better and started exercises to help my lungs. I started doing wall push-ups. I could only do three in the beginning. Every week I'd try to add two more reps. It took months, but I was eventually able to increase it to 30 reps with additional exercises. I do the exercise while I'm preparing my coffee. I tied it to another routine so I do not forget. My lungs improved and my back rarely hurts because of the daily exercise. 

A friend pinged me the other day and asked how I've been able to go back to blogging. In previous years I'd usually do a 30-day daily blogging challenge. Using the Blogger app helped since I'd usually post while I was on the train to work. I started blogging everyday again in 2020. It started as a 30-day challenge in January which I extended to the whole year. To remember that I have to blog I tied it to my coffee time routine. 

I never had an issue with completing tasks when I was working. I would efficient just go from one thing to another without missing a beat. When I got sick and got depressed things went really bad. I knew I had to get myself out of it when my physiotherapist asked me why I wasn't scheduling to see my doctor. She had me call up his office in front of her. She understood what I was going through and held my hand through it (super love her to bits!). After that day I worked on prioritizing important tasks. I'd usually do it after blogging. Mind you these were simple tasks like scheduling the aircon cleaner to come. It is hard to fight depression led procrastination, so developing tiny habits by following a routine helps. 

Starting tiny habits help a lot and I found it useful to tie them to a routine. I tied it mostly with my coffee time because it's something I rarely forget to do. It all starts though when I get up and prepare my oatmeal. My life completely changed in the past year. Everything I used to do had to change for me to live a healthier life so my body, heart and mind could recover. 

There are still a lot of new habits I'd like to develop, but I'm taking it slow for now. It was really a huge struggle to get out the hole I fell in, so I thought I'd share what tiny things I did to get out of it. 

Don't forget, it's day 2 of St. Jude's novena :)

CB////*Yr2/192 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/213 #NewG258 #Home14 #Xmas66 #StayHome #BeKind

Down Time, How I Reduced My Online Time and Saved Myself

How did you survive the FB and IG down time? Haha. I wasn't aware of it until Miggy told us. We were watching Pepsi half-time videos on YouTube. I used to get so anxious when platforms have an outage or when there's no internet at home. Now I look forward to it haha.

I realized why I look forward to flights. The longer the flight the better for me. Why? Because you're forced to be offline. I feel it's the only time when everything goes silent. I can sew, write or read without distractions. 

And that's what my doctor ordered me to do after I got warded last December. He repeatedly told me to stay offline. I was probably too wired up and stressed, my body broke down. I turned on the well-being controls on my phone and saw how much time I was spending online and on different platforms.

Honestly, it took four months before I calmed down. That's how bad it was and the only way I relaxed was to stay offline. My brain was on overdrive and it took four months for it to go back to base. Staying offline and controlling my online time was the best thing I did for myself. 

Fave plane ride, Hello Kitty flight from Taiwan to Tokyo!

In my mind I always go back to the time when everything was offline. While having information at the tip of your fingertips anytime is good, it can also be bad. I realized the solution is to just go online when needed or indulge only at certain times of the day. 

It's hard to do in the beginning, but you can start it as a micro-habit. Begin with turning on the well-being controls on your phone. Limit the time you spend on platforms and work your way up to your "online time goal". It will also help to define other activities you want to do that doesn't involve a device. For me it's sewing, reading and working on my journal. 

Less mind clutter, the better :)

CB////*Yr2/178 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/199 #NewG269 #Home28 #Xmas82 #StayHome #BeKind

Happy Cookie!

I'm happy cookie today. I think I'm back on track after the week-long horrid post-vaxx symptoms. I consider it as joyful pain since it means it worked for me! The cookie reference is because I was able to bake peanut butter cookies yesterday. I've wanted to bake some for Sweetie's colleagues since I heard they like it. 

I was exhausted after baking cookies and cooking chicken adobo. It's my happy memory for Monday. Woot! And today's happy memory is my last meeting with my counsellor. He told me it looks like I'm back to my old, strong self. Yay! 

I still have my worries and still get plagued with anxiety every so often, but I think I'm able to cope better now. I'll have a larger support group also when I go home. I'm happy I'm better now because I'm also able to help others like me in our patient groups. I hope I'll be able to start on my book project again soon. 

Recipe of the peanut butter cookies. 

I learned to make this from my Ate when I was a child. 

Getting to my current state was not easy. I tackled myself like a program I needed to manage. I basically dropped everything and just focused on myself. I stopped multi-tasking and just did tasks one thing at a time. I targeted improving one percent better from yesterday. 

And I finally managed to pull myself out of the black hole I got sucked in. My doctor explained it happens because when you get clots you get scared of it recurring. The fear stems from the possibility of you dying from it. 

What's important for me now is to continue the steps I'm taking to get better. I do my wall exercises everyday and now I can start biking again. I know I'll have to halt things again when I get my second dose. That's about 10 days away so I have time to get stronger. 

I also got to where I am now because of my amazing support system. For family and friends who stood by me especially when I would be weird and be MIA, thank you. I'll still probably curl up in a corner when I feel unwell, nothing to worry about I'll just probably be sleeping hehe. I consider getting better a miracle also and my bottomless gratitude to Papa God, Mama Mary, all the saints I nagged and my guardian angel. 

Onwards and upward! :D

CB////*Yr2/170 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/193 #NewG277 #Home36 #Xmas88 #StayHome #BeKind

*Massive pulmonary embolisms have 18% to 65% mortality rate (more info here)

Create More Happy Memories

Happy Monday everyone! It took me awhile to get out of bed today. I had another night of restless sleep, probably because of the coffee I had with my dinner. Sweetie came in to check on me and told me we needed to order food. I still lay in bed long after he went out. I guess I wasn't trying to find a reason to get out of bed. It was one of those days. 

I used to jump out of bed to take a shower and then go straight to work. Things drastically changed in the past few months. I usually get up because I have to eat and drink meds. What got me out of bed today is a realization that I should get up and create more happy memories. 

Yestersday, 1SE* asked me, "How could you have made your day better?" I interpreted it as, "How could you have made it happier?" My immediate goal for now is to re-build my energy and stamina post-vaxx so I could serve my family better. That's my love language and I feel incomplete when I'm forced to rest**. 

At this point in my life I realized I just want to be able to create more happy memories with my family and friends. We can't do a lot of activities right now, but there are ways to make more happy  memories. Me and the boys have an ongoing daily chat that's been running for a decade already. It continues to evolve and one of the things we do everyday is out-do each other with funny gifs. We've also been trying to make each other envious of our daily meals. Simple things like that make us feel we're together. 

So, how could you have made your day better? What new happy memories have you created?

*1SE - one second everyday

**Really had to follow the rest period post-vaxx to avoid myocarditis.

CB////*Yr2/169 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/192 #NewG278 #Home37 #Xmas89 #StayHome #BeKind

Break State

Anxiety plagues everyone one way or another. I thought I was good at managing it, but I eventually succumbed to it and got depressed. It's common for pulmonary embolism patients to have anxiety and PTSD. I see a lot of patients cry for help in our groups. It's really helpful to be with people who understand what you're going through. They can give advise and tips on what you can do to alleviate your issue. 

I've had to learn to identify if the symptoms I was experiencing was real or anxiety. Good thing my respiratory doctor was very patient with me. I saw him every week in the beginning of my illness. I eventually learned to differentiate and establish coping mechanisms. One nurse told me I've become a "professional patient" because I already know when to go to the hospital. LOL.

One of the patients in the group termed it beautifully - break state. She was sharing how she's been able to get back her life after all the challenges. Break state. Look up. Change perspective. Knowing when you are falling in the black hole is important. When you feel you are that's when you should move. 

It happens to me usually before I sleep. When my thoughts start going south I change my position. It breaks my thoughts because I have to shift my pillows around. I fall asleep faster now and I'm glad I've been able to keep my worries at bay. Instead of thinking about dark thoughts I've replaced it with longer praying time (expanded my allies to more saints and angels hehe). 

Coping with anxiety is hard. Getting sucked in by not-so good thoughts and worries can maim you from living your life. It's important to have a support group, but it's also key to learn how to cope by yourself. Break it by looking up, changing position or posture, doing something else and praying. Remove yourself from those paralyzing thoughts. I've been blogging everyday for almost two years now. It's helps me put things in proper perspective and I hope I'm able to help others also as I share my experience. 

Hope you are doing well my friend. Ping me if you need someone to talk with ;)

CB///*Yr2/164 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/187 #NewG283 #Home42 #Xmas94 #StayHome #BeKind  

Make Each Day Count

How do you want to be remembered when your time comes? 

I woke up to the news of the passing of former Secretary Dinky Soliman. She was the DSWD secretary during PNoy's administration. I never had the chance to meet her in person, but I always admired her. She was a strong, formidable woman who always championed those in need. And she will always be remembered for being that kind of person. Rest in peace Ma'am Dinky.

I have thought about the question several times in the past few months. I guess it's natural to think about it when you go through medical issues. I realized there was a huge gap in what I want to be. I've only been able to fulfill a part of my mission, but I have neglected a big part of who I am. To me getting sick was a blessing in disguise. It led me back to where I should be. 

Make each day count. Let go of things that bring negativity. Be happy. Be helpful. Be kind. 

The past couple of months I've been watching family vlogs. Most of them used to have corporate jobs. They quit and followed their dream. They traveled a lot and eventually settled in the province to live a simpler life. They spend their time at home with their kid/s. 

I've always led a very busy life. I struggled a lot when I was forced to slow down. It took me four months before I calmed down. I tell my friends who are taking a break to do a long one. It really takes time to reach the right headspace to think about what you want in life. 

Live life in love and don't forget to pray. 

Happy Sunday everyone!

CB///*Yr2/161 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/184 #NewG286 #Home45 #Xmas97 #StayHome #BeKind 

Let's Calm Down

A lot of crazy things have been happening back home. I chanced upon a word-war between a government official and the husband of an actress. It started when the government official insulted the actress. Naturally the husband reacted and challenged the official to a fist fight. 

This is happening among other more important issues back home. I read and watch the news everyday to keep tabs on current issues. I also go through updates about our city. It's been important for me to do this for my family back home. 

I rarely comment about issues because I have to manage my stress levels. If my Dad was still alive he'd probably be sending opinion letters to newspapers frequently. Sadly though a lot of what's happening back home could be avoided if people were just plainly decent and kind. Love your neighbor is the golden rule. 

It's hard enough that we're all going the pandemic. We're all going through some form of pain. Hurt people, hurt other people. Let's just calm down a bit so we can think more clearly. I know things are going to get worse because the elections are coming up. 

In the meantime, if you are too busy to meditate or have quiet time, one thing that helps me everyday are wall push-ups. I pair it with deep breathing exercises. It helps strengthen my lungs, firm up my glutes, relieve back pain and it calms me down. I do 15 at a time with my eyes closed. I do this while waiting for my coffee to drip. Try it :D

CB///*Yr2/158 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/181 #NewG289 #Home47 #Xmas100 #StayHome #BeKind 

Are You Afraid?

My Mama Lola.

There is so much uncertainty nowadays. It's created a lot of fear in us. At the beginning of the pandemic I could say I was still a bit reckless. I'd go out for my PT sessions and go to the mall after. It came to a point where Sweetie would pick me up from my PT session so I'd go straight home after. 

My PT sessions ended a few months ago. I only go out now whenever I have a doctor's appointment. I rush out of the hospital after my appointment. I think it's normal to feel scared. We don't understand everything there is to know about the virus. The virus has been a menace and the past few weeks I see many more friends getting infected. The number of people passing away within my circle has also increased. 

I know I am at higher risk because I am medically ineligible to get vaccinated. I was trying to make sense of the fear last night. I know I need to take more precautions and I have to live like a hermit. I realized though that my grandparents lived through the 1918 pandemic. It took more than a decade for things to go back to "normal". The "Spanish Flu" had more than 500M suspected cases, and estimated 20 to 50M died (source). 

But my grandparents lived through it. Papa Lolo was born in 1904 and Mama Lola was born in 1915. I think my paternal grandparents were older than them since my Dad was the the youngest among 9 siblings. I'm not sure what their circumstances were during the 1918 pandemic, but what's important is they survived it. I wish they were still alive so I could ask what they did back then. They probably took a lot of care and followed protocol back then. 

I don't know why I thought about my grandparents. I was just trying to figure out how I should not live in fear. Living in fear will be bad because it releases toxins to your body which will make you more sick. To curb this feeling I have to keep restating my intentions and have faith that God will continue to protect me, my family and all my loved ones. 

It's okay to feel scared. Just remember that Papa God only gives us challenges that we can bear. This is a huge challenge for all of us. The best thing to do about it is to learn, adjust and do what's best for the whole community. Stay home, get vaccinated if you're eligible and do what's needed to protect your loved ones. 

Day 24 Minimalism challenge, turn off notifications. I did this for a few months as instructed by my doctor. I think more than turning off notifications, you have to discipline yourself from checking your phone every few minutes. I purposely did not install social media apps on my tablet too and it's been a quieter life for me haha. 

CB///*Yr2/135 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/158 #NewG311 #Home69 #StayHome #BeKind

10 Seconds for Those Who Helped You Along the Way

It's always a beautiful day everyday for Mr. Rogers. I was four years old when I first encountered Mr. Rogers. We were visiting Titay in Chicago and every morning I'd watch Mister Rogers Neighborhood. Mr. Rogers had a beautiful soul. I wish we had someone like him in this day and age. 

Just a happy photo with my boys. This was in Melbourne a few years ago.

I chanced upon Mr. Rogers inspirational speech and thought it would be nice to share it today. He asked the audience to think about all the people who helped them get to where they are and say a silent thank you. It was a powerful 10 seconds for the people in the theater. People got emotional as they thought about the people who helped them. 

When was the last time you thought about the people who helped you become who you are today? It took me more than 10 seconds to reflect on all those who helped me along the way. My heart was immediately filled with gratefulness. It was a warm feeling that ran throughout my body. 

Try this as advised by Mr. Rogers. It will definitely brighten up your day :)

Day 17 Minimalism Challenge, Don't complain all day. Oh wow this is a hard challenge! Haha. I always complain when I feel something wonky in my body. I'll focus my mind then on being grateful today. Happy Monday everyone!

CB///*Yr2/128 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/151 #NewG318 #Home76 #StayHome #BeKind

Defining Intentions

I've been trying to keep a good balance between online and offline time. There are days when I end up being unproductive because I have my eyes on my phone. It's unhealthy especially for your mental health. I fell into that trap again in the past few weeks. I had to intentionally break the cycle because there are other things I want to do. 

I have been reviewing the things I've learned from Dr. Joe Dispenza*. He is a neuroscientist, lecturer, researcher, educator etc. He's been sharing the science behind being able to heal yourself. He stumbled into it when he broke his spine from a bicycle accident. Kuya enrolled me in his online class to help me and Dr. Joe in a nutshell said that if your behaviors match your intentions then you will have a new emotional experience that would change your body and mind. You can change your future by defining a new intention. 

I followed this as part of my healing process when I had my first PE in 2018. I got better and I continued what I was doing. I realized I missed a huge piece of the puzzle -- getting rid of my addictions. That included being a workaholic, the inability to say no, taking in many challenges, being busy all the time etc. It is my software (mind/personality) problem which has severely affected my hardware (body). I mentioned yesterday why it was a huge struggle for me. I can say this now because I have already accepted that it's a problem and a past I have to move forward from. 

I have a lot of faith that I will be healed through prayer and good intentions. So today I declare that I will be healed and will be biking around my village in the next few months. I will be able to breath freely and the scars and veins (and loose screws) blocking good blood flow will be healed. I will be healed so I can do my next mission. 

*Dr. Joe - you can learn more about healing yourself by looking him up through YouTube, his books or website. It's a really interesting perspective and he's also explaining it scientifically.

Day 15 Minimalism challenge, Stay offline for a day. Haha, this is not possible! As I mentioned I have intentionally been budgeting my time now. I balance my day now by defining what I need to accomplish for the day. I do that first and just use the extra time I have for online stuff. I usually blog now after eating breakfast then I go offline to accomplish my to-do list. It's certainly made me more productive and gives me time to clean up my kalat at home. 

CB///*Yr2/126 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/149 #NewG320 #Home78 #StayHome #BeKind 

Forgiving and Accepting Yourself

Last night I almost went down the "Why is this happening to me?" road. I managed to stop myself because I've already resolved that question awhile back. I read somewhere that when you're faced with challenges it's better to look at it from a different perspective. Instead of asking "Why is this happening to me?", ask "What am I supposed to learn from this?" or "Is there a new mission God wants me to do?"

At some point during this harrowing journey with my weird health I got tired from overthinking. I blamed myself for getting sick and for not taking care of myself better. For not heeding the many signs that was leading to my current condition. I'm lucky I have a friend who kept reminding me that I shouldn't think about it that way. No one could have predicted that I would get sick, not even my doctors. 

My friend also kept reminding me not to feel guilty that I had to rest. I've always been on the go since high school. My Mom would always say, "Baka nasosobrahan ka na. Magpahinga ka naman!" I felt really guilty that I was not contributing especially since I know I was needed. It would break my heart whenever my teammates and partners would tell me they missed me. Good thing my friend was patient at reminding me that it's okay not to be okay and I shouldn't feel guilty about it. 

I guess it hit me hard because my love language is "acts of service". Not being able to do my work was unforgivable. Eventually I got tired of beating myself up and finally listened to my friend. I finally like the new me. I wake up, eat breakfast, drink my meds and go about my new no-pressure, no-stress normal. Stress is really bad for me as I learned the other day (nosebleeds all-day ftw). So I've been taking things one day at a time and just leaving everything to God's Will. 

Day 15 Minimalism challenge, Evaluate your last 5 purchases. Uh-oh... these are my last 5 purchases:

 (1) Just ordered lunch even though I still have leftovers in the fridge. 

(2) Essential oils - I could have probably omitted one of the four I got, but I got it for stock and I got a free one that I was planning to buy next time, so might've been a good trade-off. 

(3) CBTL coffee beans and merienda - coffee beans yes for everyday coffee, but could have skipped the merienda since their food has always been blah. 

(4) Cable holder, for future use, wasn't really needed (but it was so cheap!). 

(5) Small device bag - also got this for future use when we go home, could have probably skipped buying since I'm not really going anywhere when I get home noh?

I should seriously stick to my weekly allowance and determine what I really need :')

CB///*Yr2/125 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/148 #NewG321 #Home79 #StayHome #BeKind 

Look Up and Take a Break

The last few weeks have been more stressful than usual. My body has been rebelling from the stress probably. My doctor said my blood test showed my immune system is angry about something. I think regular work stress plus worrying about the typhoons just got the better of me and wore down my body. 

My Kuya told me once when you're starting to wallow in negativity look up! Try it! Looking up helps break whatever it is you are worrying about. 

Disclaimer: This photo was taken 13 years ago!

So tonight I'm blogging from a higher floor and watching water instead of trees. We booked this break a month ago. We both needed it and I hope this short break would help calm down my whole being. 

I think the break is working. I'm watching blinking lights from a distance and it's hypnotizing me (it's been an hour since I started this post haha). My brain is having a hard time stringing words together! 

Anyhoo, I also learned a lesson from what's been happening the last few weeks. I need to learn to recognize early signs of distress and I should take a break when needed. Sometimes I push myself too hard. I need to remind myself that I need to take care of myself better if I want to be able to function better. 

So, look up and take a break. 

#CB//219 #StuckAtHomeDay/249 #StayHome #BeKind