Beating the Heat

Oh boy, it's been like an inferno the past few days. I've been staying indoors in a cool place and keeping hydrated to make sure I don't get heat stroke or heat exhaustion. Since I had heart surgery and my PEs I've been very sensitive to heat. Just a few seconds of heat has been disastrous for me. 

Here's what we do to beat the heat:

• Use the air conditioner - my threshold is 30'C. I'm like grocery items that have to be kept in a cool place below 30'C. LOL. That's the reason why we installed solar panels in our home. It really helps us with the electricity bill. I told a friend yesterday, it's better to use your A/C than get sick and pay expensive medical bills. 
• Stay hydrated - I had the misfortune of having UTI last week. I think I got dehydrated while watering plants (the irony noh) and so I got sick. I'm now making sure I drink water more often. I'm trying to hit 3 liters per day. 
• Drink buko juice - we drink buko juice at least once a week. It's better than drinking sugary juices since it gives a lot of benefits for your body. It's an energy booster too!
• Fans, fans, fans! - I think we have more fans than rooms in our house. We also have rechargeable fans in case of emergency (no electricity). Air circulators which we discovered recently have been very useful. I honestly like them better than huge stand fans. 
• Water your plants after sunset - my pulmo reminded me to stay out of the sun for now. I mentioned it to him I moved my plant watering time to after sunset. He said that works well since the water doesn't just evaporate with the sun. 
• Lighter meals - we're on a meal plan five days a week. I avoid eating heavily on the other two days.
• Avoid caffeine - I normally have two cups of coffee everyday. A hot one for breakfast, iced in the afternoons. Or milk tea in the afternoon. Since the temperature started hitting >31'C I switched to drinking juice in the afternoons. 
• Wear light comfortable cotton clothes - I've ditched wearing t-shirts and wear sleeveless shirts now. Good thing I inherited some sandos from Miggy (I got a bunch and didn't know they were too small). 

Take care of yourself and your family. I hope the heat doesn't get worse!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Sometimes You Need to Let Go to Live

I had done several tests in the past few weeks to see the status of my heart and chest. The good news is the huge clot that stuck around in my left lung seems to have finally dissolved after almost 5 years. Yes, 5 long years. Unfortunately, it has created more scars. My heart isn't leaking as bad, but it's enlarged. 

I have good days and bad days. I realized though I need to take better care of myself if I were to meet my goals. I reminded myself that unlike before, I could no longer do multiple projects all at once. Stress is bad for me. Just a tinge of it sets me back a few days, sometimes months. It is my reality. 

I let go of a project I volunteered to be in. I helped in it previously, but there's just a lot of things I've had to deal with the past few months. My productivity has been nil and I realized I have to focus on improving my health before I could commit to anything. 

So, I prayed and let go. I didn't sleep that night though. I had to find it in myself to forgive, me. I don't like letting people down. That's the problem in my personality according to my doctors. Sweetie reassured me it's the right decision since my health is at stake. 

Let go to live. Take care of yourself first so you can take care of others. I am streamlining my goals and activities for now so I can focus on getting better. 

Be well my friend. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Vitamin Sea Again!

Mentioned yesterday that I'm vitamin D insufficient. I thought I solved the deficiency already last year. Maybe it's a new issue. I haven't been going out and only recently started gardening again. My new doctor probably decided to include getting my vitamin D level checked because my previous doctor had me drink supplements for joints. 

I now have an excuse to go to the beach, haha. I was honestly anxious about going to the beach again. I was not sure how my body would react. I was so happy when I was able to enjoy the beach. I didn't have the same issues I experience when I swim in a pool. I was also able to try paddle boarding (seated) and got to enjoy the floating bed with Sweetie. 

We celebrated family birthdays last week in Bohol. We got lucky because the weather cooperated. Originally, it was supposed to rain all week. The rain came late at night and that meant everything was fresh by morning. This time we just spent time swimming and skipped the toys. The water was so clear and perfect for just hanging out. The fresh air was perfect for my compromised lungs (the AQI in Manila has been very bad because of Taal). 

I was honestly tempted to ask if we could extend, but we had important appointments we couldn't miss. Health is wealth and I wanted the boys to also consult with my new doctor. Maybe for my birthday? Hehe.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Old Photos

Anchoring on happy moments is one good way to solidify your coping mechanism. On my Mom's 40th day and house blessing our parish priest shared a problem they've been encountering a lot. He said there are a lot of young ones (the youth) who are troubled. They encountered a number of them who tried to take their life. 

Kuya gave an overview on how to use NLP*. He demonstrated a technique where he processed the negative action/thought with a positive event. Happy thoughts certainly help overcome negative experiences. Our mind sometimes tricks us to dwell on the negative and it tends to immobilize us. It has happened to me and still happens every so often. 

The grandkids with their Papa Lolo. This was taken during one of our trips to Bali.
Our flight was delayed so Dad regaled the kids with war time stories. 

Old photos that elicit happy memories is one of my coping mechanisms. That's the reason why I file my photos properly. I have a ton of albums in my Google Photos and I can easily access it on any device. Every so often Google Photos highlights a happy memory. That's why it's been easy to do throwback Thursday posts.

Daddy covering his ear on New Year's Eve.

Sometimes I share the photos to loved ones to remind them of those happy memories. My titas also do this whenever they unearth something from their baul. My Tita Chu just sent me a photo of me and her daughter when we were just kids. It was my first time to see that photo and it immediately brought back that time when they visited from Australia.  

So the next time you're feeling blue, pull up some old photos. Better yet, frame them around your home so you can easily get a happy boost whenever you need it :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Precious Moments in the Garden

It is believed that the color green help calm us down. Being exposed to nature helps us to de-stress and that's what we do when we go on vacation. We either go up a mountain or get some vitamin sea. Whenever I go on vacation I always feel like everything's going to be alright. 

My inflammation markers were always raised. It went down for the first time early this year. It took two long years after I stopped working before it went down. Stress sticks around your body for a long time. It can ruin your body and I'm a testament to that. It was one reason why my doctors forced me to retire. 

And spending time in a garden or backyard helps reduce stress. I went on a rampage last week sowing seeds. It rendered me useless for a few days, but I was happy tired and calm. I was ecstatic when I saw some of the seeds sprouted. Seeing something grow helps nurture your soul. I had the same feeling when we were stuck at home during the lock down. 

Gardening was my Mom's secret to long life. My doctors in Singapore all believe it's a miracle I'm still alive. My new doctor said what I've been through is a lot at my age. My Mom was very sickly when she was young, but she outlived her siblings and lived a long life. I think I'll follow her footsteps and make gardening one of my full time hobbies. I'll get free vitamin D, hopefully get a lot of fresh air (once Taal calms down), and calm my mind so I can keep my ESR down. 

Happy gardening (or nature tripping) everyone!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Facing a Big Problem? Look 10 Years Ahead

I faced a huge, life changing circumstance when I was 17 years old. That's when I had Miggy. The best thing I did was to speak to someone who had gone through the same thing. It felt like talking to myself 10 years later. She reassured me that everything will be alright and just go on with your life. 

And that's what I did. My parents took care of us, had me finish school and encouraged me to do well at work. I used the circumstance to do better. I made it my primary goal to do everything so I could take care and provide for Miggy. I did everything I could to provide Miggy the love and care he needed. 

I did not do it alone. I leaned a lot on my parents. We only became fully independent when we moved to Singapore. They still helped us even though we moved out when Miggy was 15. We even moved closer to them a year after we moved out. It was comforting to have Mom and Dad nearby as we learned the ropes. We were all ready by the time we moved to Singapore. 

It's almost 3 decades now since that life changing moment. I never looked back, I just kept moving forward. Faced a lot of other issues and I just always thing that things would be so different in the next decade. Since I was 17, I've worked for more than 10 companies, moved across 9 homes, lived abroad for 10 years, visited countless countries, etc. etc. 

What I need to do now for myself is to look ahead and shape the next ten years. I was hard at work the past ten years and that ended in disaster for my health. Well, God Whispers said the other day, "Just as the moon depends on the sun for the light it reflects, so do your limited capabilities depend on My infinite power to accomplish your dreams." 

Look ahead, have faith and pray.

Wellness Wednesdays: Breathe Power

I've been feeling antsy all day and writing something about wellness didn't come easily to me. Went to my craft room and found the box of "Stress Less Cards" I bought in Bacolod. I found it in the toy shop across our hotel. I haven't really used it since we got home and thought I'd try to see if it could help make me less anxious. 

Pulled out the deck and randomly picked one card. It said, "Breathe Power". This was the instruction -

"Close your eyes and breathe normally.. Whenever breathing in, imagine breathing in power and good feeling. You can imagine the power you're breathing in with a color or a light. Breathe this way for 5-10 minutes."

Kuya told me once that we sometimes forget to breathe. Like really breathe. My respiratory doctor had to correct the way I breathed after he discovered I had a huge clot in my lungs. He said I tended to mouth breathe and that's bad because you can easily inhale germs and viruses. It's also bad to mouth breathe when you're asleep because it means you're not getting enough air in. It took awhile, but Dr. Chan eventually got me to breathe properly. 

My physiotherapist also had a hand in helping me breathe properly. Inhale 4 counts, hold 7 counts, exhale 4 counts. Dr. Joe Dispenza further leveled this up and said you should gather your inner power and breathe it out by imagining light that goes through your body to heal you. I sometimes imagine it as white light or gold light and think of it as God's healing love. 

Yeah, so I digressed, but breathing made me feel stable and the anxiety soon went away. 

Breathe my friend, breathe. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: What I Learned About Grief

I tend to keep things bottled up. I was always discouraged from being emotional. I was always told not to cry because it would be bad for my heart (well, now it is). I lost it when Dad passed away over a decade ago. I still cry whenever I miss him. My Mom though was always unemotional. She was good at keeping a cool head. 

It was my medical issues that eventually made a crack in my other stable demeanor. I was told I was a calming force in our team. Well, the medical issues I've gone through broke the lid and I had to get help. My doctor focused me to re-develop my coping mechanisms. That was important because there are many things you have to deal with everyday. 

When my Dad passed away, I was given time off, but by midweek after he was buried I went back to work. Mom told me again and again that it's the cycle of life and I just had to live with it. It took me awhile to understand it. Titos and Titas soon followed after Daddy passed and that was when I understood fully what Mom and Dad taught me about losing a loved one. Their mission is done and you should be happy that they are now in heaven. 

We all deal with grief in different ways. My only advise is not to keep things bottled up. Cry when you need to and reach out to your loved ones when you can't bear things. I'm lucky I have support groups that have been there for me this past week. I tried crying, but I ended up resting in bed because my heart went bonkers. I've been finding other ways to manage my grief. 

I'm not surprised I've ended up keeping busy. It's one of the coping mechanisms Mom taught me. I've been doing some sewing, some writing and I've been chatting with my support group. Our band of stray cats have also been keeping me company. They've stuck around since last week and Kaley usually sits outside my craft room whenever I'm there. 

Grief can truly be overwhelming, but as Mom kept telling me, huwag mo dibdibin. 

Miss you Ma. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Keeping Cool this Hot Summer Season

It's been unbearably hot for a few weeks now. There are news reports of students fainting in school due to the extreme heat. It's probably a good idea to return our school schedule to have summer off. I remember my doctor writing a note for my teacher to keep me under the shade during field days. I've always been heat sensitive, moreso now. 

I know I'm an extreme example of a heat sensitive person, but here's a few things you can do to cool down this summer to prevent heat exhaustion or heat stroke -

1. Stay hydrated! Drink more water, but make sure you get electrolytes in. I've taken a liking to drinking buko juice. It keeps me well hydrated, protects my kidneys and makes my skin healthy. 

2. Stay in a cool place. A friend suggested to use block curtains instead of regular curtains. This helps keep your room cooler by keeping the sun out. Block curtains are expensive, I just made ours by buying the fabric (here's a tutorial how to make curtains).

3. Eat in-season fruits. My Dad told me that fruits come out based on the season it's best eaten. Fruits that are usually available now include duhat, mango, watermelon, melon and pineapple. Save for duhat, most are used for shakes! We have busted out our blender so we can make fruit shakes at home. 

4. Stay out of the sun from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. according to a doctor who was interviewed in the news. If you have to be out, best to use an umbrella, or push your appointment earlier or later in the day. 

5. Be mindful of how you're feeling if you're exposed to too much heat. Go to a cooler place at the first sign of feeling warm and drink water. Do not wait to feel dizzy because that may easily progress to heat exhaustion. 

6. Always have tools on hand to help you cool down: (a) Water, (b) A pamaypay or handheld fan, (c) Umbrella, (d) Shades (yup, protect your eyes too!), and (e) A bimpo (face towel). I always wear a mask when I go out and I found it useful to put a dab eucalyptus radiata essential oil at the bottom of my mask. It makes the mask feel less stuffy and helps me breathe better. 

7. Wear summer clothes! 

8. If you could, stay by the sea! There's always a breeze by the beach. #sanaol

Wellness Wednesdays: Vitamin Sea

I spent many summers by the sea when I was growing up. Back then the internet wasn't available for consumers yet. No TV at our place. During the day I would spend many hours swimming and building sandcastles. Mom also encouraged me to spend more time in the water to strengthen my lungs. My Mama Lola would sometimes accompany me and she'd be covered from head to foot, wore sunglasses and use an umbrella so she won't get dark (how I wish I had a photo!). 

I promised myself I have to go to the beach at least once a year. During the difficult pandemic years, the closest I got to the sea was when we walked to the end of the West Coast Park. That helped me cope, but I always wished we could at least walk by the shore. I told myself we'd pick up our annual beach ritual once things got better. 

I was honestly very apprehensive when we went to Bohol last year. I did not know if my body would be able to cope. I was sad with the thought that I might not be able to have the stamina to spend time in the water. I was also anxious that I won't be able to endure being under the sun. 

Surprised myself last year when I suddenly had extra energy when we arrived in Bohol. I was able to spend time in the beach. The fresh air made me feel so much better and I think that's what vitamin sea is all about. The same happened when we recently went to the beach. Of course, I took afternoon naps after frolicking* under the sun in the morning.

Maybe we should live by the water noh? I need more vitamin sea! Maybe somewhere nearer and away from angry volcanoes :)

*Translate to "babad in the water" + 10 minutes paddle boarding

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesday: Break the Cycle by Going on a Vacation

Taking a break from your daily grind is important. While I enjoy staying home, I still need a break from just being home. I realized this when we were stuck at home due to lockdowns. When things eased up we went on a staycation. We also jumped at the chance to walk to the park since cabin fever is real. I remember the first time we got to eat at McDonald's with our friends. It was a simple meal, but we couldn't stop smiling since it was our first meal outside of our homes. 

Bohol, 2022.

We've managed to go on a real vacation once last year. It was refreshing and amazing to be out and about. I was honestly very wary and I wasn't sure if I'd survive being away from my comfort zone (home). I was pleasantly surprised that I felt so much better breathing fresh air and eating fresh food. I was worried I'd feel unwell if I stayed out in the beach for long periods of time. I had nothing to worry about because being by the beach was the best thing I did for my well-being. 

We shied away from traveling far again after our Bohol vacation since we all fell ill (picked up the virus on the way home). We've done a few staycations not far from home. A change of scenery really helps in resetting yourself. No wonder there are those who travel for a living. I wonder though what they do to reset from too much traveling? The opposite I guess. 

"Schedule your vacations," was an advise a previous manager told me. He noticed I rarely took breaks and my available leaves would pile up. I'm following that advise now and have scheduled vacations. Who knows, maybe in time we'll finally do land trips. Have you scheduled time off in your busy schedule?

#BeKind #StaySafe 

Wellness Wednesdays: Lighten Up Your Cross

We all have crosses we carry. The best way to lighten the burden is to surrender it to Him. Easier said than done. I hit rock bottom again this week as I go through the challenges of having a chronic illness. I weigh myself everyday so I could arrest any possible issues that may crop up. I watch what I eat to make sure I stay stable. Sometimes though uncontrollable instances happen and I get more sick (i.e. food poisoning). 

On top of my chronic illnesses, I've been dealing with wounds that I buried a long time ago. They cropped up when I started getting sick. I chanced upon this video by Bro. Bo Sanchez. He shared that the hardest person to forgive is yourself. It's probably the heaviest baggage you can carry around. 

Dear Lord, as we experience once more this most sacred week, may we be able to surrender everything to you. You are the only one who could truly heal us. Thank you for your love and may we follow Your light as we journey through our life. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

 

Wellness Wednesdays: How Decluttering Made My Life Lighter

Yesterday, I shared about how I made a cover for a medical device I own. I only use it when needed and don't like to be reminded constantly that I own one. I created a colorful cover for it. The colors give me good vibes every time I see it and I realized that's something we should all do -- surround yourself with items that make you happy. 

It's very much what Marie Kondo advised all of us to do, keep things that spark joy. We've been working on decluttering for awhile now and on top of keeping things that spark joy I've also been asking the question, "Do I/we need it?" "Would it be useful for someone else?"

We gave away 14 boxes of pre-loved items last Christmas. Our decluttering coach, Ally Canita, helped us send it to three charities. Some were books, some kitchen items and clothes. It's much easier to part with things when you know it will go to those who really need it. 

Ally taught us that the first thing you have to do is assess where you are in your life. That would help you know what items you need. In the past two months we've been going through the painful process of sorting through our things. I'm still working on the kitchen, but I've been making a lot of funny discoveries. I've amassed 14 spatulas, 5 peelers, several sets of knives, countless tupperwares and probably over fifty mugs (not counting those we've already donated). Quite obvious, that I need to downsize that number to what we'll just use. 

I think I now just have a third of my wardrobe. I just kept the ones that I use and need for now. I set aside all my "work clothes" last year, but I think I will review it again soon. I don't see any need for it in the near future and it will just decline in storage. 

Just having what you need is bliss. Not having too many things makes it easier to keep them in proper places. The process though is hard and I work on things based on my energy level. We're still getting some help to unbox the last 30 boxes. Getting things in order is taking so long and we want to finish soon so we can finally enjoy our new home. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: A Little Added Care a Day Goes a Long Way

I was having more bad days than good days the past few months. It's annoying since I'm unproductive on those days. I've accepted the fact that it's going to be that way. My doctors have helped the best way they could, but if I want to increase my energy and stamina I have to work harder. 

For this Lenten season I have resolved to take better care of myself. For the 40 days of Lent I have resolved to do the following everyday:

• Exercise - to be consistent I tied the mini-exercises I do with some chores. Wall push-ups while preparing coffee and more movement through chores (i.e. dishwashing or cooking). The general aim is to walk at least 1,500 steps per day around the house. Stop when feeling unwell. Aim for a long walk at least once a week.
• Self-care - daily skincare. I realized that I've been so lucky because my skin has generally been unaffected by my medical issues. I have to take care of it though, so I have resumed my skincare routine. I also started to have more white hair, so I'm taking care off my hair too. 
• Keep my mind working - found it easier to blog ahead. I feel a bit anxious if I blog on the same day, so I've been trying to write at least a day ahead. If my muse is in the mood I try to write up to 3 days ahead. This gives me time to do other things. 
• Have a working goal - I have so many interests and hobbies. I sometimes get overwhelmed with everything I want to do. I now use the area on my planner where you can write out your weekly targets. I just write 3 priorities for the week and do what I can. 
• Pause when needed - I know what triggers my issues, so things sometimes change in an instant. A good day can immediately change to a bad day. So I check the weather and the AQI before I go out of our bedroom. 

I have to find the best balance between movement and rest. Being a bit more productive is important for me because it helps with my overall well-being. I thought the best thing I can do this Lent is work on being at least 1% better than the day before. I have not been able to see my doctor regularly because she's always busy. This means I have to take better care of myself. I hope I'll have more stamina by Easter. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Stay Grounded

I lived in a nice bubble for 15 years. Nothing seemed impossible. I learned along the way that as long as you had clear goals and planned your program well, you'd definitely achieve what you want.

Mind you, working there was hard. You never really have time to rest on your laurels because you're expected to build on your achievements and multiply it. You're able to focus on work because everything else is cared for. No need to worry about your commute or food. I was cared for when I got very sick and I had access to the beat doctors. Honestly, I wouldn't be around if not for them. 

Early on though I knew it wouldn't last. In my early years I would always ask my managers if I was at the end of my journey and should I look for a new job. I flabbergasted two managing directors with those questions. I stopped asking when the second one got so shocked. I did that because I was a single Mom then and I needed reassurance.

When my cardiologist told me that I was finally due for surgery, I shifted gears and started planning for the worst. I saved and lives frugally to make sure my family wouldn't have a hard time in case I didn't make it. I kept grounded on the reality also that one day I would leave the bubble. 

It was hard to take the first step out of the bubble, but after spending most of my time in and out of the hospital for four months I knew realistically it was time to leave. So I followed the orders of my doctors and went back home.

I thought about staying grounded when a friend remarked about the perils of working for a company for a very long time. It becomes part of who you are and eventually it's going to be hard to separate yourself from it. What she said is true and I guess it's also hard for the people who knew you as someone who's part of that company. 

That's why the first thing I did when I left the bubble was to figure out who was I before I got sucked in. I retraced my steps, found my long time friends and created new routines. It took awhile and I honestly haven't been thinking about the bubble anymore. I'm at that point when I'm now just remembering the happy times and I just keep in touch with those who are really close to my heart. I'm also far enough now that I could look at what they're doing critically (haha). 

Keep grounded. At the end of the day what's more important is you and your loves ones.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Trouble Falling Asleep

I can commiserate with Grey*. I've been observing him the past few days from my maker room. We moved his bed outside of my room since there was a lot of movement where he used to sleep due to the renovations. The past few days must have been very hard for him because three orange cats have been barging in to attack him. I think they were trying to take over his territory. We had to help break up the fights since it would get so loud and alarming. 

It's pretty much similar to what I go through whenever I go to sleep at night. I have a hard time sleeping because I'm afraid I'd wake up with back pain. I've observed Grey take multiple cat naps . He falls asleep and then wakes up to check the area, probably making sure that the three orange cats aren't lurking. The good news is I'm a deep sleeper, I rarely wake up in the middle of the night. The back pain usually starts in the morning. 

I've been tracking my sleep pattern through Fitbit. It's consistently reported that I fall asleep longer compared to the average time people fall asleep. I've managed to lessen then time by adjusting my lifestyle. I  fall asleep faster when I have more movement or exercise during the day. A tired body seeks rest. I also make sure not to eat at least 3 hours before bed time. Avoid GERD (which also results in asthma). And avoid social media/reading messages before going to sleep. Sometimes I read something that triggers my PTSD. Seek peace and quiet.

One thing I haven't been able to do is get more sun. I take vitamin D3, but getting enough sunshine is better. I came to this conclusion when we went to Bohol. I'd wake up earlier, go out and I end up falling asleep faster. I wish I could just live by the beach (haha). 

My doctor solved my breathing issue after my first PE. He said you get better rest when you don't have breathing issues while asleep. I used to be so tired even when I had 8 hours of sleep. Fitbit showed that I'd actually wake up so many times while asleep. Doing deep breathing exercises and my meds helped. Breathe easy to sleep well.

I've been working on correcting this issue for years now. I was able to wake up earlier already last month, but the holidays ruined it. Well, that's something to work towards again :)

*Grey is the cat who adopted us 

#BeKind Stay Safe

Wellness Wednesdays: My Wellness Goals for 2023

My recovery has been long and very slow. I have honestly been very fragile. The key to staying well is listening to my body and keeping my well-being stable. My main kryptonite is bad air quality and when my PTSD is triggered. Those are two things that I have to avoid so I stay stable. 

I reached my wellness goal last year which was not to be hospitalized. I didn't! And my doctor told me to avoid hospitals because it's a huge risk for me to pick up COVID-19. Not getting hospitalized is part of my 2023 goal, but my main goal this year is to recover and gain more stamina. I want to be able to do the things I used to do for my boys and create more happy memories with them. 

Here's my plan to reach my goal:

1. Pray
2. Be grateful and be grateful for others
3. Eat well and eat more nutritious food
4. Lose more weight
5. Complete daily exercises and increase exercise capacity (and try to go out more)
6. Follow doctors orders and do the tests
7. Drink meds on time
8. Re-start meditation
9. Solidify coping mechanims
10. Less social media 

I'm still keeping my circle small for now, but I hope to spend some time to see my friends. I was only able to meet up with friends once last year and after that I couldn't plan anything because of my stability. And that is why my goal this year is to be stable and gain more stamina. :)

What are your wellness goals for the year?

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesday: Gladiator in Shorts

Saw a post by Jonathan Yabut last night and it was a good reminder to pat yourself on your back for all the challenges you have conquered. Here's what he said -

I have exchanged all my "suits" for shorts though so I'm a gladiator in shorts! I woke up today feeling re-energized. I went through a lot of challenges this year, but I conquered them. One thing I realized which is key to keeping well is to let go the things you cannot control. 

One thing that weighed me down was the grief of losing my siblings. I didn't realize I've been carrying it in my heart since I was a child. I always wondered back then why I was sad during Christmas. It was where my abandonment issues started. The sadness only eased when I had Miggy and when our family was completed by Sweetie. Still, the grief stayed in my heart. 

I finally realized that my siblings, both >10 years older than me were already ready to fly the nest by the time I was in fourth grade. They both left and married and had their own family to take care of. I was so young and didn't understand why they weren't around anymore. Rarely saw them through the years, but I was able to cope and do well on my own. 

We were brought up by our parents to be independent. I'm grateful for that because I was able to make it without relying on anyone. That's what I'm patting my back for and a good reminder that there are many blessings that you miss seeing when you focus on grief and things you cannot control. Just let it go and be grateful for what you have and remember God will never abandon you. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Defeat Anxiety with Perspective

We've been anxious the past few months because we've had to deal with a lot of house issues. The fire at the property behind our house made us more anxious. In the past year since we arrived back from abroad, there has been 3 fire incidents near our home (plus one more but it was a kilometer away). 

The fire the other day was about 350 meters away from our home. We could see the signages of fastfood restos from our front door. Those signages were featured in a lot of photos from socmed and the fire looked like it was near our home. 

Our neighbors though did not looked alarmed. The village security was in front of our home for a few minutes, but soon left. We thought the fire was already controlled after an hour, but we were surprised to see black smoke billowing again. We also heard from a livestream that the fire reached the creek. We know that the creek is behind the house in front of us. Kaba is real. 

Since I was so frazelled, I checked Google Maps to understand the distance of the area from our home. After looking at the map, I switched to satellite view. I traced the area of the fire and the location of the fastfood restos we could see from our doorstep. 

I called down after getting a better understanding of how far the area of the fire was. The fastfood restos were in fact farther from where we were and there was another subdivision between us and where the fire broke out. The firetrucks had already surrounded the compound from inside that subdivision effectively barring it from crossing over. We couldn't see the other houses and streets between us and the fastfood restos because they were lower. I always thought the main thoroughfare was just behind the house in front of us. 

That incident was a good lesson on looking at things from another perspective. Between you and what you fear is probably a huge gap you don't see because you're looking intently at the fire. Also, sometimes what you fear may not be meant for you. When I understood the situation better I started to feel grateful and re-focused my energy in finding ways to help the victims of the fire. 

I really do have PTSD and it's really a struggle to control it. The best way is for me to strengthen my coping mechanisms and draw the line when it's triggered. Just always pray and be grateful :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Make the Time to Prettify

I was better at taking care of my looks when I was still working. I honestly got lazy moisturizing during the lockdown. My cardiologist had a dermatologist look at me too when I was hospitalized. She just advised me to moisturize everyday (luckily she did not find any issues!). 

I was browsing through a PE* patient support group last week and one of the patients advised that it would help if you make the time to make yourself pretty. Fix your hair, moisturize, put on some make up, wear some earrings. Make the effort to look good because it will help you feel good. 

Thought it was good advise. The day after I started to moisturize twice a day. I also started to wear earrings after taking a shower. It did make me feel better. Last Sunday, I finally got a haircut after over a year. I've been attempting to do that for six months now. I even asked the hair dresser to give me some bangs! LOL. 

While it doesn't remove the fact that I sometimes feel unwell during the day, at least I'm more presentable now, haha. A friend told me to buy a new pair of sneakers. Told him I rarely go out. He said I could wear them at home. Haha. Told him, maybe I'll eventually get there. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

*Pulmonary Embolism