Tuesday, November 24, 2020

It's Complicated

I was told after heart surgery I am one in one hundred thousand. It was funny because nurses, pre-med students flocked to my room to have a look at me. I didn't mind since I thought it could help someone they treat in the future. I even told my second opinion doctor that I may decide to donate my body to science once I pass. Seriously, yes. My family though would probably disagree. 

After PT yesterday. Must get stronger. 

I'm feeling a little bit sad today. I just read a summary my second opinion doctor wrote about my condition. She mentioned the term complicated a couple of times in the report. I've always known that my body is different from everyone else. It's an intricate system (don't worry I won't bore you with the details). My doctors told me I've been this way since I was born and it's never really bothered me. And I'm just grateful I'm still alive and can do to contribute. 

In a lot of ways I know I won't be me without being different. My doctor told me I'd probably be very different if I didn't have those tiny cavernomas in my brain. Sometimes though I cannot help but think, would my life be different if I had a normal body? If I did I would probably have more adventures. Maybe I'd be an extrovert. Maybe I'd be more friendly, more outgoing. I'd have more energy and be able to do marathons, climb mountains, hike, bike like crazy. 

But that's not me. God gave me this body, challenges, and mission. I will not have it any other way. I am thankful and grateful for all my family, friends and colleagues who understand that I am not physically strong like everyone else. They know that despite all the challenges I face physically that I give what I can. 

I thought I'd write this for all other people who are like me. Especially for those persons who have bodies that science don't completely understand yet. We are all created different after all. So just live the best way you can. Just love and live happy. 

#CB//230 #StuckAtHomeDay/260 #WFH154 #StayHome #BeKind 




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