Wellness Wednesdays: Know Your Kryptonite

Now that my breathing has improved, I have a bit more energy now to move around. My doctor was happy with the progress I made tripling my daily step count. I truly believe that faith and putting your mind into getting well really helps. I've also been religious at taking my medication. I am still hopeful that the maintenance meds I take can be reduced. 

Faith, following your doctor's recommendations, taking your meds religiously, eating and sleeping properly is just part of the battle to being well. I want to have more good days than bad days (and maybe elimate bad days altogether). One thing that's worked well for me is knowing my kryptonite. This requires knowing your body well and listening to it. 

We came from a family trip recently and I'm really happy we were able to enjoy it. My major kryptonite are heat and bad air quality. We crossed the street earlier and I got dizzy even with an umbrella. We didn't make it to our targeted lunch place and instead went to the nearest resto. Whenever that happens to me I know I have sit in a cool place so I don't overheat. We immediately went inside the resto, sat down and drank water. I stabilized after a few minutes. 

I have many other things that affect my body. We're able to manage it well by knowing the triggers and avoiding it. I always bring a water bottle wherever I go and Sweetie has a portable fan in his bag. We bring a small air filter whenever we travel so I could rest well at night. Thankfully we haven't had the need to lug around an oxygen concentrator. I do need to avoid wearing a mask though, so we go out only when really needed. 

Did you know that starfish can heal themselves? They can regrow arms that are severed from their central disc and can grow again just from an arm (Source: The Guardian). Dr Joe Dispenza believes that humans can heal their body through their mind. My doctor was really surprised with my progress. Now that I have improved from less than 1k steps per days I have to make sure I don't slide back. I'm now trying to maintain 3k steps per day and including activities I wasn't able to do before I started progressing. Still a long way to go, but at least I'm a bit more productive everyday. 

Take care everyone! Keep your mask on whenever you're out!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Moody Monday

I was looking forward to spending time on my quilt project today, but alas I felt nauseous. It still happens because of the medication so I was forced to rest. I knew I should have planted seeds yesterday since it was a beautiful day. 

Happy Monday everyone, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. 

CB///*Yr2/44  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/71 #StayHome #BeKind 

Astonishingly Amazing April

I thought April would be a chill month where I could rest and recuperate. Turned out to be a very, very busy month! The good thing about it I end the month on a good note. I was able to do 5k+ steps today! The last time I was able to do that was in early February. 

That's a big deal for me because my average step count was only 2k per day at the beginning of the month. I used to average 6 to 8 thousand a day when I used to go to the office. At least 10k when I travel. It's been hard for me because I feel like I'm always carrying a heavy backpack uphill. That's why I walk very slow. 

I'm getting a bit more clarity now on what I'm going through. I did a number of tests in the last two weeks. It's been exhausting, but at least I'll soon find out what can be done to improve my quality of life. In the meantime I still need to stay home to rest and recover. 

Happy to end the month on a good note. Changing my mindset to improve at least 1% a day helped a lot. I spent a lot of time praying and focusing on where I want to be. Circumstances also forced me to strive harder, but I've been reminded to take it slowly. 

With faith, things can only get better :)

CB///Yr2/20  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/47 #StayHome #BeKind  

I'm Going Home Today!

Woke up early and energized today. I finally had a good night's sleep! The evening nurse took pity on me last night and removed the plug on my hand. It was starting to swell and I suspect it was the reason why my arm was hurting already. Doc had it scanned yesterday to be sure it wasn't clotting. I was so relieved when the nurse said my arm was clear. I'm going home with just a small bruise which is much better than what I had early this month.

An Apple a Day by Hello Kitty! One of my favorite shirts.

I feel much better today compared to when I was discharged 15 days ago. I was able to fix my stuff. Sweetie will just need to zip up the luggage when he comes later. I still need to take it slow and doctor said to come back at the first sign of bleeding. My blood test came back with good stats. When my doctor is happy I'm happy.

I'm not going back to work immediately. I'm going to focus on getting well first. I already made the mistake of pushing my body too hard many times. That's a huge reason why my body is like this now. I will need to find the right balance first before I go back. I know my manager is super excited to have me back, but I don't want to come back so soon and get sick again. I need my body to heal without stress. (I always tell my team they will survive without me. That's how I've been training them.)

I'm so glad I'm going home today. Sweetie will be able to sleep soundly again. I'm his sleep elixir. He immediately conks out when he sits beside me on the couch (I have plenty of pictures to prove this point). 

Thank you for all your prayers and love. It's what makes me strong. One of my nurses told me yesterday, "You have gone through a lot. You're willpower is the most important factor for you to be well. Promise me you won't come back!" That willpower is powered by prayers and love. So if you have a loved one who is I'll, show them they are loved and needed and pray for them. That will surely boost their morale and fire up their willpower to survive anything. 

CB///296 #StuckAtHomeDay/326 #StayHome #BeKind

Middle of the Night Interruption

My former colleague, Olive, explained to me before that spirits get attracted to the light people emit. They come to you for help and the best that you can do is pray for them and encourage them to go to the light. Since then I was never bothered by ghosts/spirits. I still get scared, but I immediately start praying. 

Last night I was jolted awake by a code blue call. I don't know why, but they always announce it hospital-wide. We also got one yesterday afternoon. So I woke up and immediately felt a presence. I remembered what Olive told me many years ago and started praying the rosary. I told her it's okay and she should just go on. It was only at the end of the first mystery when she went away and I drifted off to sleep.

That hasn't happened to me for a long time now. I don't know if it's real or just my hyperactive imagination (or the medication). I was scared and I just naturally turned to prayer. The nurse told me that it was common for that room to code blue. I told her I stayed in that room for 30 minutes when I was at ICU early this month. The room felt weird and I'm glad they moved me to another room immediately. Maybe they should have that room and the room next to it blessed. 

I'm going to take a nap now since a fire alarm went off earlier and interrupted my sleep again. I have a headache from being jolted awake twice. Need more sleep so my body can work in repairing itself. 

Have you experienced the same thing? Wish I could go home soon.

CB///294 #StuckAtHomeDay/324 #StayHome #BeKind

Thank You for Your Love

I realized last night that whenever I get hospitalized for a long time it comes in twos. The same thing happened in 2013 after heart surgery. I was confined again then because they had to open me up again. That was more challenging, but back then my will was made of steel. I faced everything bravely. I was unfazed even when my doctor told me years later they almost lost me back then.

Slowly getting their again (I'm still on sloth pace). Thanks Sweetie for the cute shirt.

It was only last December when I realized I'm getting older. My ENT (who I believe is a genius) years ago told me I was still young and should continue to be active. He reminded me he's been my doctor for 8 years now and that we're all older and our bodies change. My cardiologist and cardiovascular surgeon have also changed the advise they've been giving, also because they're getting on with age. 

I got a book from Kerygma Books "The Beauty of 40" by Dr. Michelle Alignay. I'm going through it slowly and learning things about this phase of my life. I should have gotten this book 5 years ago. As my doctor said, "You can't continue living like you're still in your 20s."

I had a good cry last night. The most heartbreaking thing about this challenge is seeing Sweetie and Miggy worried. I realized though that God only gives you challenges you can manage and learn from. I cried also because I'm so tired from being well for a few hours then fatigued for the rest of the day. That's not me. I can usually go on and on and on. 

I'm grateful for so many things. The love from Sweetie, Miggy, my family, my friends, my community. The care of my doctors, nurses, housekeeping and the uncles and aunties who feed me (I noticed th let give me a muffin for supper if I finish my food haha). Everyone wants me to be well and that's what I'm holding onto. I believe Jesus will heal me in His time.

CB///293 #StuckAtHomeDay/323 #StayHome #BeKind

Here We Go Again

I was feeling so unwell this morning. I had Sweetie call my doctor to let him know what I was going through. My doctor had me come see him for a check-up. I've been admitted to the hospital again since bleeding after a PE is dangerous. I have to stop the medication until the bleeding stops.

It's been a challenging day and I couldn't help but cry already this morning because I was feeling worse than when I was first admitted early this month. I was upset because I was feeling better already and had been increasing my daily step count. This is a huge setback for me since I was hoping to go back to work before CNY. I just hope and pray I won't be in the hospital for a long time.

Please pray for me.

CB///292 #StuckAtHomeDay/322 #StayHome #BeKind

Not a Good Day Again

I must have pushed too hard again yesterday. Woke up not feeling well. I felt nauseous the whole day and have some bleeding going on. I had some bleeding issues in the past but I don't remember feeling nauseous.

Yesterday was good day and I just need to remember that this is part of the process when you're recovering from PE. Will call my doctor tomorrow and ask if I should come see him. My other doctors have been checking in me. They really want to figure out what's causing my clots.

CB///291 #StuckAtHomeDay/321 #StayHome #BeKind

Watching the World from the Window

I finally have a view from my window. My first room only had the wall of the hospital outside. At the ICU at least it was the window where the lifts of the doctor offices were located. Now i could see the hotel across the street, a major thoroughfare, some patches of green, and a school. It's hopefully a sign that I'd soon be out of the woods. The school is also serving a reminder that I still have a mission.

After tea break today I stood by the window to watch what was going on outside. Saw one of our buses pass by, several luxury cars, students just out from school about to cross the street, and construction workers draining the water brought by the heavy rains. Life goes on outside while i stay put for now.

I still follow my doctor's advise to stay offline. This is to reduce stress and focus my mind in getting well. I've been using the digital wellbeing function of my phone. It helps a lot and it's forced me to rest. I still read the news and all i can do now is pray that things would get better. Seeing so many countries go on lockdown again is sad. Here in the hospital, they have been vaccinating the frontline workers already. 

My doctor had me scanned again today. We took the risk to rule out anything serious. He brought good news that my scan was clear. It doesnt explain though why I had clots again. He said that it's good news that there's nothing serious to worry about. We just need to plan what to do to prevent another clot. My other doctor suggested an IVC filter, but my other doctors are not convinced. We'll have to discuss more in the next few days. What's important for now is I get a good night's sleep.

CB///278 #StuckAtHomeDay/308 #StayHome #BeKind

Back at the Ward

Spent three gruelling nights at the ICU. Blood clots in the lungs is serious business. Hourly checks of your vitals means you can't get any proper sleep. My arms are bruised from the drip which had to be moved several times because my veins are too small. I am grateful for the care the nurses. I was fully dependent on them. 

I think it's important to smile through challenges.

My doctor said I could go back to the regular room this morning. That came with two needle pricks for a blood test (the first one did not produce enough blood huhu). I didn't care since I was looking forward to going back to a regular room (since that means maybe I can go home soon). My doctor though isn't happy yet which means I am not out of the woods yet. 

The hardest part of this ordeal is the anxiety that comes with having pulmonary embolism. You have to depend on your body to respond to the treatment. You can't really control a clot and the only way to know its location is through a CT scan. We also don't know the cause of the clotting (oddball forever!). I barely slept last Saturday because I was worried. Changed tactics last night and focused on praying. 

The first time I had it I believe I recovered because of my faith. Everything I've been through I survived because of faith. I still want to do a lot of things and pray I'll pull through.

Pray for me?

CB///277 #StuckAtHomeDay/307 #StayHome #BeKind

Uh-oh Not Again

I got up earlier than usual today. Showered earlier also so I can be fresh for today's activities. I thought I was going to be discharged, but my doctor wanted to keep me for another day. 

After his visit I had a flurry of activities. A blood test, then my spine doctor came by, then it was back and forth in other areas in the hospital. Things became serious in the afternoon when my doctor came and said he wanted to do a test. I said yes because I thought it would be better if we knew what was wrong.

I have another PE*. Ugh. And now I'm in the ICU again for monitoring. I went through this two years ago, but didn't get hospitalized back then. I hope this one isn't as bad since it was detected earlier. So, here we go again. I hope they discharge me soon.

 CB///274 #StuckAtHomeDay/304 #StayHome #BeKind 

Road to Wellness, Recovering from Pulmonary Embolism

The past three years have been a struggle for me health-wise. I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism back in 2018. I was lucky because my respiratory doctor found the issue after a lot of tests and scans. It took a year before they found the cause - May Thurner Syndrome. My body issues have always been mechanical, but despite that I'm still blessed because I'm still alive and able to contribute to my community.

I kinda lived a normal life post-heart surgery seven years ago. I didn't get sick for almost five years. I didn't have any maintenance meds. My weight was acceptable (depends on which of my doctors you talk to). I traveled a lot. I may not have been able to do my favorite activities anymore like riding ziplines, roller coasters. I wanted to do para-gliding and other adventurous stuff. It's okay, I'm just happy to be alive.

Going through all of these challenges have not been easy. There are days when things go dark for me. You'd know I'm okay when you see I'm busy with my hobbies - I sew, I bake, I cook, I vlog, I blog, I nag my boys, I nag my Mom. I become unproductive when I'm unwell. Having body issues is just half the battle, the other half is pulling myself out of feeling unwell.

The battle to get well from PE was followed by severe asthma from the haze and crazy backaches. My doctor advised me to do physiotherapy and I have been doing that since November last year. It has helped me a lot. My back has been okay and I feel my lungs are working better now. I only feel unwell when my asthma is triggered from haze and when I get too tired. The key to avoid getting triggered is understanding my body and avoiding stress!

Clean air to keep my lungs healthy!

I'm so grateful that I have an amazing set of doctors who really show they care for me. My physiotherapist really tries to understand what my body can and cannot do. She makes sure I don't overdo things so I can make it to my next session. And because of their support I am inspired to become better. 

I'm happy to share that my doctor has removed one of the inhalers I had been taking for almost two years. My goal is to remove all my maintenance meds because it's been making me bloated. Hopefully soon my cardiovascular surgeon will remove my daily dose of blood thinners soon. Then my next target is to get rid of my daily inhaler.

To balance all the medical requirements I also do meditation, diffuse oils and pray for healing. I'm able to share this today because I've just gotten out of a health rut which lasted a few weeks. I need to stay in this state so my physiotherapy sessions can progress to my favorite exercise -- biking! Ahhh, we can all hope and pray.

Happy Monday everyone!


CB//139 #StuckAtHomeDay/169 #WFH99  #StayHome #BeKind