Sunday Miracles: A Grateful Week

I had quite a lot of bad days this past week. Had to postpone a test because I felt like I was coming down with something. After resting for almost a week I felt better. I think my body broke down mainly due to the bad AQI. I'm grateful though it didn't progress to an emergency and that's what is important. 

Sweetie re-scheduled my appointment and I was able to do the tests last Friday. It was a long day for us since we decided to wait out the Friday traffic in a nearby mall. It gave us an opportunity to meet up with a friend and we even bumped into some friends we haven't seen since 2019! Even with the long gap it felt like we just saw them last week. Perhaps because we always see their updates online. 

And that's one of the things I'm grateful about the past week. Being with friends helps with healing. With new doctors in place I feel a bit more confident now about going out. We still wear masks religiously and use Betadine once we get home. 

I'm grateful I'm able to move more now compared to a year ago. It was around this time last year when I was having breathing issues. My walk test results were really bad too. My body has gone through a lot and so little things like being able to go to the mall and have dinner with a friend is a huge thing for me. 

I always wondered why I survived. The illnesses I've been through have high mortality rates. I talk about it every so often to warn others and also to show those like me that there is life after. I'm not able to do much now, but I'd like to believe that I've been spared so I can help others to have hope and warn others not to push themselves too hard. 

And so I am grateful for another week that ended on a happy note. I'm also grateful for the blessings and the gift of friendship. The weather has been really bad, so stay dry and stay safe everyone. 

Have a blessed Sunday :)

#BeKind #StaySafe 

Sunday Miracles: Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I hope you had a blast up there in heaven when you celebrated your 90th birthday! You waited a long time for Mom to join you up there. The best miracle for the week though was finally reuniting with Ate and Kuya. We haven't been complete since December 2010. That was also the last Christmas we were all together. 

It finally happened, I was finally feeling better and asked if Ate and Kuya wanted to get together to celebrate your birthday. I used Mom's magical cooking skills and prepared (err ordered) a Lucban feast from Buddy's. I thought it appropriate to have pansit habhab, hardinera and Lucban longganisa, since that's where you were born. I wanted to cook your famous mustasa dish, but I didn't have the ingredients. Kuya said he missed it so I just gave the recipe to him. 

And we had a feast reminiscent of how we celebrate birthdays at home. Kuya also brought lechon manok, liempo and ice cream. I was so happy to see them together Dad and I know that was one of your bilins. Mom made sure it would happen at the right time and right place.

Kuya and I decided to move back to our home. I hope it's okay with you and Mom, we'll rebuild a new house since the current one is really too big for us. This way we can watch out for each other (moreso since my sibs are almost senior citizens already hrhr). Well, they also want to keep an eye on me. I also super missed having them around since Ate left when I was just 10 and they both soon married a couple of years after that. 

Well, you and Mom took good care of me. It was probably hard for you since you were both in your 40s already when you had me. I realized though that despite that you and Mom brought me up the best way you can. I miss you and I keep forgetting Mom is gone. We will be okay, but please continue to watch over us. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Sunday Miracles: Simple Joys

To be honest, I always have difficulty writing my Sunday posts. It forces me to take stock of I lived in the past week and sometimes that triggers my anxiety. When that happens I remind myself not to measure my productivity based on how I used to be. I also remind myself to focus on being grateful. 

This week I was reminded to be grateful for simple joys. We started taking Ningxia again and I think that has helped me gain more energy. I'm working on taking better care of myself and my boys and part of it is working on what we eat. I'm also pushing myself to move more.

Spent the week decluttering. I realized I cannot do it in one go, so I followed a friend's advise to trim it down. I also followed our coach Ally's advise to sort things first. I trimmed down a couple of crates and boxes this week and will get back to it once we clear out the rest of the boxes. I also sorted my books and was happy to see the progress we made trimming it down. The books we donated went to Bicol.

With the temp a bit more controlled at home now, I hope I'll be able to cook more with Miggy. Simple joys like being able to do more at home make me happy. 

Healing comes from Him, don't forget to recognize small improvements. Be always grateful and focus on your goals. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Miracle Sundays: Don't Be Scared, Just Pray

Last Friday, we headed out to do some errands. Oh boy, the heat was truly unbearable. Good thing I brought my new handheld fan. It helped and I ducked inside stores that had cooler airconditioning. The temp though wasn't consistent and I would feel a jarring pain in my back. It would go away as soon as I got to a place that was cooler. 

It was probably a good thing we went home when the sun was setting. I would have melted if we went home earlier. I was tired when we got home, but I was still able to water my potted plants and I did some hand sewing. When I went to bed, I felt a weird flutter in my heart. I did breathing exercises. I felt weirder and weirder. 

Checked my watch and saw my heart rate going bonkers. It would go up from 86 to 104 in seconds. I counter-checked through my oximeter. Same result. I was diagnosed with arrhythmia a few years ago. My cardiovascular surgeon helped manage it. In the past few years, attacks happen around this time. It's probably the heat. 

I was getting very restless already and told Sweetie I was having issues with my heart rate. My rate hit 114 at some point and I started to worry. I definitely didn't want to go to the ER especially since cases are going up again. I prayed for clarity of mind because I knew getting stressed was going to make things worse. Got Miggy to bring me some iced water and that helped calm me down.

Followed my doctor's instructions on what to do and my heart rate eventually normalized and I fell asleep. Woke up feeling tired, but I thanked the Lord for the beautiful day. It was still scorching hot so I stayed in an airconditioned, air-filtered room all day. Thank you Papa God and my boys for taking care of me. 

Today, I also pray for my classmate who is in the hospital fighting the big C. Please also kindly say a prayer for her and another batchmate who is not doing well. 

Sunday Miracles: Dealing with Trust Issues

The past week has been very challenging. Aside from food poisoning we had to deal with some adulting issues. It felt like a barrel of worms was let loose (yes a barrel, not just a can).

I've been suffering from PTSD since my medical issues escalated. Dealing with the thief last year made it worse. It made me more cautious and picky on who I trust. 

I thank God that the issues that cropped up the past week didn't drag on. It just took me awhile to work out a solution. I feel God has been testing me because I've been praying for Him to heal me both physically and mentally.

The issues took up a couple of hours to resolve. I know I stressed out Sweetie when I was working through the issues (he and Miggy have been my rock). For both issues I went back to what Dad taught me when he was grooming me to be a lawyer* - seek the truth with facts and don't be overly emotional. Easier said than done when you have PTSD. So I asked myself, what would Daddy do?

So that's how I dealt with the issues that involved trust this week. Seek the truth and get help if your gut tells you otherwise. And pray. 

Thank you Kaley Boo the Cat for slow blinking me even though you haven't seen me for a week. You're truly a sweetheart for calming me down.

#BeKind #StaySafe

*a half baked one since I didn't pursue law, but I was his "legal secretary" for two decades

Miracle Sundays: Living with CHF

I just recently had a blood test and it's a mess again. Luckily, the med tech who took my blood was a really good one. The test just left a tiny dot on my arm and did not bruise. It's been years since I've encountered a really good med tech. Next time I'll make sure to get my tests done on midnight. Hopefully I'll get him again. 

The result of the test though was disenheartening. I'm anemic and my probnp result is almost x2 from 2021. My cardiologist is yet again very busy and her assistant hasn't confirmed an appointment. Medical care in the Philippines is truly hard. I was down for a few days, but I have to roll with the punches. I have my meds and while waiting to see my doctor I have to be proactive. 

Dealing with medical issues is hard. I've always just managed to brush it off, but the past few years have been really challenging. I almost didn't get back up after the breakdown I had last year. It was the love of my boys and faith that pulled me back. 

Watched this TedX talk by L.T. Kirk the other day and it was a good reminder for me that it's up to me to live. If I don't fight then I could easily be in perile. L.T. Kirk mentioned in his talk that he can enjoy one good day, but it would be followed by several bad days. That is the life of a person with congestive heart failure. 

I've had CHF since 2008. It was the result of having pneumonia. My doctors in SG managed it really well and I was able to live normally even after heart surgery. It's been harder now because it's now paired with CTEPH* and other stuff. I've learned to live with it and have been a bit more functional now. There are good days and bad days, but that's okay since I still get to create new happy memories with my boys. 

Here's what I learned through the years of dealing with my illnesses:

• Acceptance is key. The Nile is not just a river in Egypt.*
• Aim to be better at least 1% than yesterday 
• Big hairy goals or moonshot goals are for work, just make bite sized targets
• Celebrate all achievements whether they're big or small. Reward yourself. 
• Live for your family. 
• Remember, Jesus loves you. Pray. 

One thing that struck me from what L.T. Kirk said was you have to live based on your new reality. Stop aiming for what used to be because it will just frustrate you. It took me a long time to understand and accept that I can't do what I used to do. I'm grateful I have my boys and friends who have been taking care of me.  

*Denial

**CTEPH - Chronic thromboembolic pulmonary hypertension

Happy Sunday

Not feeling so well, so just wanted to wish everyone a happy Sunday ☺️

What miracle have you encountered today?

#BeKind #StaySafe

Miracle Sundays: Be Steadfast

The new year feels wore off just after a few days. I busied myself in the kitchen because I wanted to see the floor which was still covered in boxes. 

If there's one thing I learned about managing a chronic illness, it's to take things one day at a time. A subset of that is to do at least one percent better from the previous day. 

There was probably around 20 boxes of kitchen items the angels packed before the renovation. It was the combination of two kitchens. Miggy helped me with the first ten boxes and then I worked on the rest. 

Tried to do as much as I could but it left me tired, unweyand grouchy. Changed tactics to just one box a day. That worked and I'm down to two boxes and a bag of stuff. It took up a lot of time because I had to handwash everything.

I'm truly grateful I could move around more because I haven't been able to do these things in the past three years. There is always hope and I'm thankful for all the prayers. 

Be steadfast in your faith.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Sunday Miracles: Are You Ready for What's Next?

It's a week before Christmas Day. Today's Gospel talks about what Saint Joseph went through after finding out Mama Mary was with child already when they married. It was an angel in a dream who told him not to be afraid. 

It's been a challenging year for me. I thought I was just going to focus on getting better, but there's been a lot of bumps and potholes in the road. I always remind myself that God only gives you trials that you can bear.

Look far ahead so you don't get stuck in the pothole. Saint Joseph followed the angel's advise. It must have disrupted his plans, but he went ahead and took on the responsibility. It was a life filled with ups and downs and all we know is he was a good foster father to Jesus. 

It's Jesus' birthday next week. It will be a joyous occasion for everyone. We will probably be having a simple celebration at home. We haven't had time to prepare the house or buy gifts for each other. What's important is we'll be together as a family and we can focus on celebrating Christ's birth. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Sunday Miracles: Christmas is Just Around the Corner

It's advent already! How time flies! It's almost a year now since we moved to our new home. I was hoping to prepare our home for Christmas early, but alas there's still a lot of work to do to make our home safe. Yes, safe. We were finally having some cabinets installed and we requested the firm to also check our electrical installation since lights kept flickering.

We opened a full can of snakes when the garden lights were removed. It kept short circuiting and we felt unsafe. Still reeling from the trauma of the fire behind our house, we asked to review our indoor wirings. Let's just say it wasn't just a can of snakes, but a cargo truck full of snakes. We discovered something that could lead to a huge disaster. 

And it's really been stressful for us. Strange noises and strange smells have been making us paranoid. I explained the situation to my Tito and he reiterated what the electrical engineer told us. The situation is really concerning and potentially perilous. I'm grateful my boys are there because the stress hasn't been good for me. 

They say that you should always deal with life with a grateful heart. TBH it's been very hard for me not to freak out about our house. We saved up for it for 15 years and we thought everything would be in good order. I reminded myself that it's a situation that can be corrected and we're getting help to fix the issue. It's also a good thing that we discovered the violations early, at least we can avoid a potential disaster.

Advent is a good time to take stock of what you have and what you can look forward to. This year has been really challenging for me and my family. I take comfort in the fact that Papa God is there. Mom also keeps reminding me to just pray. Let's just hope and pray for a good and happy Christmas :)

"Jesus looked at them and said, “For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26

Miracle Sundays: Intentions

What is your intention for the space? This was the first question asked by our de-cluttering coach when we met her for the first time. I knew she was going to ask that question because we watched some of her videos before we met her. 

We moved out of our condo unit for two reasons: safety and our lifestyle has changed. I needed a safe space since I'm immuno-compromised and I need a space where I can better recover. It was a huge struggle to leave my old life. I only felt calmer when I realized God was re-directing me somewhere else. 

I'm still praying for my new path. For now I'm focusing on getting better. It's been hard since there are days when I feel unwell all day. I guess this is where I'm supposed to be for now. As we go through making our house a home, I hope we'll be able to define our intentions so we can have the home we want. 

Happy Sunday everyone. 

#BeKind #StaySafe