Saturday, June 27, 2009

Unrequited Love, Ouch!

There are so many love songs that talk about this kind of love. I've had my fair share of it and it wasn't really a good feeling because you always feel as though you're going to burst with the feeling. You're anxious, hopeful, giddy, and excited all at the same time. That's a lot of stress I tell you.

It took me years to realize that unrequited love is something you can avoid. A lot of people would argue that love comes in the least expected time and that you cannot control it. That's true too. Eventually I realized though that it may be controllable if you realize who it is you've fallen for and why you should not pursue it. It's usually -

(1) your best friend
(2) your buddy guy/gal friend
(3) your close colleague/classmate

And you usually find yourself in this situation -
Paano na kaya, 'di sinasadya
'Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko
Bakit sa dinami-rami ng kaibigan ko ikaw pa
Paano na kaya 'di sinasadya
Ba't nahihiya ang puso ko
Hirap nang umibig sa isang kaibigan
'Di masabi ang nararamdaman
Paano na kaya
*Song by Bugoy Drilon
I found myself in that situation several times and I am just thankful that I managed to salvage most of those friendships. My stupidy wasn't worth ruining the friendship. And that's the key word, FRIENDSHIP.

When I started to have a small crush on Sweetie, I told myself that I shouldn't even think about it because we were best friends. I managed by seeing other people and by reminding myself that he liked someone else. And the theme song for that is "Kung Ako na Lang Sana". He did not have any inkling until the time he asked permission to court me. I told him then, "Let's skip that." Imagine his shock.

Falling for your friend puts a lot of strain on your friendship, especially when he doesn't have the same feelings for you. It's very hard not to hope since you tend to interpret his actions differently. Harshly put, he's just being himself and not really into you. So, wake up before it's too late!

Suggested readings:

How to Find Your One True Love, Bo Sanchez
He's Just Not Into You, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
The Rules, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider