Happy Two's Day!

2-22-2022!

Two's day on a Tuesday! 

I found a trick to make me fall asleep faster. I read a chapter of a book. I've been having trouble sleeping and it takes me hours to finally fall asleep. Reading helped! Before drifting off to sleep I remembered one of the most important lessons my Dad taught me about values. 

I was previously stuck in a bad relationship. On the outside it seemed all good, but it came to a point where we just kept disagreeing about everything. One day my Dad sat down with me in the kitchen to tell me he did not approve of the relationship. He was worried it will end in a disaster because our values was very different. At that time I was already questioning myself whether staying in the relationship was worth it. 

I cried and cried and cried, but I realized what my Dad said was true. Our disagreements stemmed from our value differences. I was tired and unhappy and for my sanity I let it go. Having the same values with your partner is very important. It can make and break your relationship. My Mom explained if your values are different even the smallest things will bother you. It will eat you up and eventually break you. 

It took me years to heal and when I got around to dating again I treated it differently. Eventually I met Sweetie and the rest is history. So if you're stuck in a bad relationship, assess whether it's because you have very different values. It may save you from a lifetime of pain. 

And that applies as well to your choice of candidate. Make sure you choose wisely. :)

Rest in peace my thesis mentor, Ms. Cherry. We were her first gold thesis awardee. Will miss you. 

#BeKind #StayHome #VoteWisely

14 Years!

Today Sweetie and I are celebrating our 14th year together as a couple! We just usually recognize it as a special day and don't do anything. We decided to just celebrate our wedding anniversary when we tied the knot. We'll probably have leftover adobo for dinner tonight haha. 

Circa 2007 in Baguio

Everyday is still special with Sweetie. We resumed filling up the 3-year couple journal. Our last entry was 5 years ago and then the journal got lost when we moved. I found it recently while sorting out stuff. It's been fun to read previous entries. I'm kept on my toes when answering because Sweetie always finds a way to be witty. 

Sweetie's my rock. He is "subok na matibay, subok na matatag"! We've been through a lot especially "in sickness and health". We have surgeries and hospitalizations in our arsenal now and we know we can weather anything together. 

Let's look back at our milestones -

The proposal

The wedding

Need to find time to re-upload our wedding vid hehe.

The first day at home

And we have random videos of our life together on my YouTube channel. I originally wanted to post more vlogs, but I got busy. Tried posting  more last year, but I'm shy and I have an ongoing debate with myself about privacy haha. 

We're soon transitioning to a new phase in our lives. We're both really excited about it and look forward to be reunited with Miggy. I think we didn't do so well being empty nesters. We were just not ready yet. We probably need 20 more years with Miggy around haha. Every night I pray for us to have a happy and loving home where we could create more joyful memories together. 

Thank you Papa God for finding the right one for me and for continuing to write the best love story a girl could have <3

CB////*Yr2/171 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/194 #NewG276 #Home35 #Xmas87 #StayHome #BeKind

The Saint Who Brought Me My Forever

My Mom brought me up to get to know the saints. They also taught it in school. I love the fact that I'm remembering this part of me and I could ask for their intercession for my prayers and intentions. Something missing? Pray to St. Anthony. Pandemic? Pray to St. Roch. Need a miracle? Pray to Padre Pio* and ask your guardian angel to whisper to his ear. Anxiety? Pray to St. Dymphna. Teaching? Of course, St. La Salle is the one. 

At the La Salle Generalate, Rome.

I'm happy I bounced back quickly from last week's procedure. It was a blessing in disguise it was rescheduled because I can get feedback from my doctor before I get vaxxed this week. I've been praying a lot and I realized that's what was lacking in me the past few years. I think after OHS** I got too brazen and thought I was invincible. I was doing my mission and took it for granted that all systems would just run smoothly. 

I prayed every night, but my head would always be buzzing with other things. A couple of weeks ago I thought I could improve with how I did my prayers. I always hear people say that you have to be specific about your requests. I downloaded two prayer apps and started to pray novenas (now I know why my Mom always uses her prayer books). It was then I remembered the saint who led me to Sweetie. 

St. Jude, the patron saint of impossible causes. At some point in my life I gave up on love. I was badly heartbroken and kept meeting the wrong kind of guys. I felt it was impossible to find true love. I heard about St. Jude, so thought I'd pray to him. I did and eventually met Sweetie. I think I never thanked St. Jude for helping write my love story. I thank him every night now and I'm requesting for a couple of impossible things. Have anything that you think is impossible? Pray to St. Jude. He gave me my forever (#sanaol). 

CB///*Yr2/155 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/178 #NewG292 #Home50 #Xmas103 #StayHome #BeKind 

*Padre Pio novena starts tomorrow

**OHS - open heart surgery

Taking Chances

Circa October 2007

The other day I saw a video message I sent to Sweetie back in 2007. I made a video 3 weeks after we became a couple. It was a short message thanking him for loving me. Sweetie and I became best friends before we became a couple. When he asked permission to court me I just said yes. I thought it would be so awkward for us to go through the ligaw stage, so I just said yes. 

I sent the video to Sweetie last night. He had a huge smile on his face after watching it. The road to Sweetie was riddled with a lot of wrong turns and potholes. It took me years to heal from my last relationship before I took the chance again. After many, many years God finally answered my prayer for the right person for me. 

Finding the video was a good reminder for me that God answers prayers in His time. It took 15 years before that prayer was answered. And God did find the right person for me. I can just imagine how hard it is for Sweetie to take care of me. My prayer now is to get better so I can take care of him and Miggy too.

So how did I know he was the one? I just knew and took the chance to love and be loved. 

“I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Matthew 11:24).

CB///361  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/24 #StayHome #BeKind   

Ligaw - courtship

The Way to Answer the Why

Taipei City

I loaded up hours worth of work to do on the plane for my flight to Taipei today. I have stuff figured out and just needed to put things in writing for our quarterly report. I didn't make a dent. My brain has been uncooperative the last few days since I've been sick. Fever does fry ones brain.

Ended up watching "My Ex and Whys" and it was the perfect movie for me to detach. I'm a LizQuen fan and I try to watch all their movies through TFC. I loved the movie because I related so much to it.

Many people now only know me and Sweetie. They don't know that there was so much drama in my life before he found me. I was pretty much like Cali before I met Sweetie. I had lost all hope to find my one true love. I had baggage and I was angry. I was untrusting and didn't entertain suitors. People in my previous work used to call me the ice queen behind my back.

I guess I got tired of it and eventually tried to see if I would find the right one. Ara Mina's character (Cali's mom) explained this very well. Why should we continue to try to find love? Because we live for love and if we don't try to find it then we would have lost our chance to love and be loved.

When I look back at my past I realize that I needed to go through all of it to understand and accept what was best for me. I can now look back fondly at the past -- the good and the bad -- because it's part of who I am today.

Maybe someday I can put all these experiences to good use and help others heal. :)

Love and Waiting

“Don't rush into love. You'll find the person meant for you when you least expect it.” 
 ― Franzie Gubatina

It's the week before Valentine's. Yesterday one of my friends posted an announcement from their school instructing students to wear the appropriate shirt color based on their "love status". Married? Wear green. Single and available? Wear white. Bitter? Wear violet. And the list went on.

I remember the struggle I always had during Valentine's before. There were years I didn't have a boyfriend and there were years I had a bf but they were not really the best at romancing (bad boyfriends RIP). And let's not even go the loveless Christmases I had.

The struggle was real and it came to a point where I prayed to Papa God that if by September 30, 2007 I wasn't in a relationship I would accept the fact that I was destined for single blessedness. I planned that if by then I didn't have a boyfriend I would enroll for my doctorate already. (Remember if one has a goal, one must have deadlines.) My prayer was for God to finally write my love story.

I had been having a recurring dream since I was in my teens. I'd dream I was walking down the aisle, but I never saw the groom. The only time I saw the "groom" was three months after I met Jay. I woke up confused since at that time our friendship was just blossoming. It did cross my mind though that he was a really nice guy and ideal. I shared this dream with Jonas and he counselled that I should just set it aside and not tell Jay about the dream. So I did.

My friendship with Jay blossomed. He was courting another girl at that time and I was flirting with other boys (hahaha). Apparently Jay's best friend, Kasuy, had already been pointing out to him that he liked me and that the girl he was courting wasn't the one. I was at that time "dating" someone else, but I was secretly hoping that maybe my friendship with Jay would blossom to something else since we just simply clicked. This thought I would always set aside since he was my guy best friend.

But lo and behold when I went to the US Jay kept messaging me. He was apparently feeling jealous over a guy and when I got home he proposed. And that's how God wrote my love story.

So it isn't really about meeting someone, getting swept off your feet. It's about developing into a relationship and having God guide you through it.

Doctorate? What doctorate? Hahaha. (Shhh please don't tell Maggie the plan has been shelved for now.)

Love, Love, Love!

One more month before Valentine's!

A few years back when I was single I was challenged by my now-Ninang Janette to find a date in time for Valentine's (circa 2007). I didn't find one, but Sweetie and I eventually realized that the merienda break at Max's we had when we stepped out from an event was a date, well a friendly date. I even took a photo of the brownie I had and belatedly realized that it had a heart on it. I have yet to collect on my beach date with Honey (yoohoo Honey!) because we promised each other that whoever failed to get a date would buy a ticket to Boracay for the one who got a date. Well we both technically lost, but we promised that we'd go on a beach trip together (let's do it this year!).

I thought finding my one true love was hopeless. The priests in our parish even wanted to put up a billboard to find me a partner! And online Ninang Janette put up a post to get me and Honey a date. I was seriously ready to spend my life of single blessedness since I have Miguel anyway and I was never going to be alone. But, lo and behold, just a day before my deadline Sweetie proposed to me!

I started thinking about this again when Philip pointed out that our friends who filled up my slambook suddenly had partners a week after. My gaylas friends are all in a happy place right now (thus the many cheesy posts on my timeline!). Looking back I think God finally gave me what I've been asking for because I learned the lesson He was trying to teach me. I read a lot of books, spent a lot of time with the priests in our parish (they didn't have a choice since I was the editor of our parish newsletter then), and prayed a lot for guidance. I also changed my perspective and just waited for God to finally write my love story.

I went through a lot and even my doctor said that it's what probably literally broke my heart (that's why it had to be mended!). It took me time to forgive myself for my past mistakes, learn to be happy on my own, and open my heart again to love and be loved. As I told a friend yesterday, just have faith and leave everything to God. He is after all the master of all our stories.

It's a month before Valentine's! Take heart and believe that God is indeed writing your love story. It will be the best happily every after! 

How to Find the Right One

Today would've been the 53rd wedding anniversary of my parents so I thought I'd write about love to celebrate the 51 years they spent together loving each other and taking care of us 3 siblings.

It's 361 days before Christmas, before we all have another set of family reunions and get togethers with friends. Christmas isn't over yet here in the Philippines and I still have a few sets of friends I need to meet-up with before I go back to work. And that means approximately 361 days to get out of SMAP (Samahan ng Malalamig ang Pasko) and be able to change your answer to "Yes Tita, meet my bf/fiance!"

I absolutely disliked being asked about having a boyfriend during reunions and I shuddered everytime I was asked when I planned to marry. I endured that for many, many Christmases and I guess that's one reason why Sweetie and I decided to marry the day after Christmas (yeah boxing day!) so that everyone would remember.

Anyway, I must admit I have been bullying my friends year-in, year-out now since I got married and I feel quite sheepish about it. On the other hand, my friends say that we (it's not only me bullying!) have a point. It's going to be hard to grow old alone without a companion or children especially if you don't have siblings who would be available to take care of you. So we thought about making a list of places where you could meet the right one.

Ahh, but I thought I'd back this list up with real life cases.

(1) In a party - if I remember correctly based on my Mom and Dad's love story, they had met in a party. My Dad was my Mom's first boyfriend and they were together as a couple for 5 years before they tied the knot. The rest is history + 3 kids + 9 grandchildren.

(2) In school - my sister and my brother-in-law were schoolmates when they were in university. I was quite young then and I do remember my sister abhorred BIL. She said he was mayabang, but eventually they ended up together and have now been married for 26 years with 3 children. I know of two Malaysian friends who are married to their college sweethearts.

(3) In an event - I met Sweetie in the Digitalfilipino club meet-up. He was the speaker and I was an awestruck fan when I found out he was the founder of the first Filipino music website. Well, we've been married 4 years (and just renewed our vows!) and have one big kid.

(4) In church - remember my story about the white rose? I learned about asking for a sign from an Ate in church. She had done the same thing and married one of her choir mates. They now have been married over 10 years and have 4 kids. I have another set of friends who never thought they'd end up together. It took them more than 15 years before they realized that they were meant to be together. They now have been married 3 years and now have 2 kids.

(5) At work - I have a few friends who met their husband at work. They usually try to work in separate companies after. Ah, my brother and sister-in-law met at work and they've been married for 25 years and have 5 crazy offsprings (crazy being an endearment).

And for the extreme...

(6) Have an arranged marriage - in some cultures this still works and there are times it ends up in happily ever after. I only know of one friend though who's gone through this and he's not Filipino. His wife is really lovely and they now have 2 boys. Don't ever marry when it's forced!

So you basically need to go out and not necessarily "find the one" by being a "predator". As you can see from my list, you don't really have to go out far and wide to find the right one (who knows maybe he is just right beside you!). The more important thing is you must get to know the person well before you even start thinking about getting into a relationship with them and you can only do this if you befriend the person. Let your love grow from there and have God navigate you towards the right one.

Single Awareness Day

This day last year I was a singleton celebrating Valentine's Day... in an airplane. Arrived in Manila at around 10 in the evening and waited for the printer to deliver some materials I had printed. I was also rushing about since I had to be early the next day to do ingress for an exhibit. Little did I know that the person I had a belated Valentine's merienda with (well not really to celebrate Valentine's) would become my Sweetie!

I couldn't stop laughing over my dear friend Sorsi's recount of how her family and friends in the US have been trying to set her up with someone, anyone actually. Head over to That Girl Was Me and check out her latest adventures. I know I'm the one to blame for some of the horrors she went through recently and I try my best to cheer her up and motivate her to hang-on and aim to get the best. Hey, I waited years before I got found by the right one and here's how I managed to hang-on:

1. I read books! I went through Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Boy Meets Girl", Greg Bernhardt's "He's Just Not Into You", "The Rules" (forgot who the author is sorry), and the best was Bo Sanchez' "How to Find Your One True Love".

2. I met boys! At some point I really didn't want to date anymore. I made a mandate not to date anyone for a whole year after my last relationship. Why? To prevent rebound since it was a 7-year long relationship. I only actually started dating 2 years after only to get frustrated since I didn't realize that even friends would be such boleros. After reading Kuya Bo's book, I kept myself busy and did my homework of meeting 5 single guys every week.

3. I made friends! I will not be a hypocrite and say I did not start falling for some of them, but hey I'm a girl and it's quite easy for girls to fall. I knew though when to stop and did not give my heart to any of them. I also made it a point to keep the boys I met as friends (save for a couple who became Mr. Hyde after a while). I also managed to make a lot of new friends last year from all over the country (and the world).

4. I made peace with my past! It's kinda strange but I always felt that I would only find the right one once I made peace and put closure to my past. It was kinda weird but each one of them just showed up one by one early last year and the last one just popped up just before new year.

5. I kept busy! My work kept me sane since I was always doing one thing and another. I also tried out doing new things, bugged old and new friends. I remember Kuya Bo's book had a list of suggestions on what you could do as a singleton.

I did give up and thought I'd remain single forever. Good thing the Daddy and son tandem I had as seatmates in the airplane kept me sane. I made up my mind then that my life would just be about my family, work, some interests and perhaps study for a doctoral degree, but maybe, maybe because I was closer to heaven when I was saying my prayer, God heard my last plea and granted my prayer.


Here's a funny video that's quite appropriate for Valentine's day -

Next Please!

Yesterday during lunch my Mom was telling a story about a girl whose boyfriend suddenly dropped her to marry another girl. Tragic isn't it? That and a million other stories of heart break. That's why don't date crazy people!

Anyway, so I just flippantly told my Mom, "Ma, kung ayaw nung guy, eh di huwag! Sabihin niya, next please!" My Mom agreed and said she'll tell the girl that there are many guys out there. And I'd like to make that appeal to a dear friend of mine. (If I was there with you, I'd probably boink your little head!).

It's so easy to play the martyr for someone you love and just accept whatever it is that is thrown your way. "Because I love him." I totally disagree. I wasted so many years of my life on someone who was totally unworthy. Because I thought it was the right thing to do. It is not and by golly give yourself a lot of love and respect. No man should insult nor belittle you to cover up for his follies and insecurities (ay galit ang lola niyo!).

"He's Just Not That Into You" and "The Rules" are two of the most interesting books I've read. Both books basically said that if a guy is really into you he'll do everything in his power to make you fall in love. Hahamakin ang lahat mapa-ibig ka lamang. Men are hunters and they will pursue you until they have you. (Read the two books and then read Bo's book).

Now, don't fall for the first guy who pursues you with a passion. There would be guys who just love the pursuit and they'd drop you like a hot potato once they are done (I know one who does this every 6 weeks). Be mindful of his values, the respect he gives you. Check his family background, his trustworthiness etc. etc. (check out Bo's book hehe).

Huwwwhaaaattt??? You might ask. Well, raise the bar girl! Don't settle for anything less. And pray.

And I'd like to plug a project of The Usual Suspects - You Got Blogged - check it out and get a chance to win $150 when you join the contest.

And here's my Sunday Video (which I should change to Monday Madaling Araw Video LOL) -



And I might say, if you're not ready to "take all your chances" with that one guy, then don't even think about lending your heart to him.

And, I'm NOT saying "next please!" this time around. What do you think Sweetie?

Cebu Love Thoughts: How Will I Know He is The One?

Last night Janette and I stayed up until 4 a.m. discussing the merits of choosing “The One” (the right one that is).

How does one choose? And how does one know that the guy lurking around in your backyard is someone you could trust?

Of course, there’s my ideal guy checklist and there’s another list I have which is definitely not bloggable (let’s keep some things about my life to myself eh?). Bo Sanchez in his bestseller, “How to Find Your One True Love” said that you have to meet at least 5 guys every single week. In the past few months, I’ve been meeting that quota easily believe me. And let’s just say, I have made many, many new guy friends. Hehehe.

So how does one go about trusting a person? It is not natural for me to check-up on people. I don’t use a search engine nor Friendster to check-up on one’s background. I know, I know this should come naturally. Argh! I’m just so stupidly trusting (uh, that’s why I have 3 best friends looking after me?). Janette said, “It's all about risk management.” `Nuff said about that.

So let’s say you manage to determine that the person in the hot seat is someone you could trust and someone you’re considering. How long should you “play the game of chess”? (That was Punzi asking why it was going to take several months for me). So how long? Punzi chimed in a bit later on through Twitter that it shouldn’t be long. And Janette said that when you are in your 30s it’s a totally different ballgame because people know what they want and oftentimes don’t want to undergo the frilly, silly game called courtship.

So how will I know? I mean, it’s been a looooong time and I guess I’m kinda lost! LOL. So help me out here!

I’m tagging some married and single friends (and you if you wanna chime in as well) to provide me some thoughts on this matter: Tappy, Marc, Gail, Sasha, Anne, Harry, Janette (a reading perhaps? LOL), Manuel, Jozzua (I still owe you 1 meme!), Lady Cess, Sexy Mom, Noemi, Juned, Jayvee, Jun, Blogie, Andrew, Honey, Jay, Mayi, AJ, Sarah, Kristine, Max, Quistian, Markku.

The things Cebu does to me! LOL. Cheerios!

Starstruck!

I think I've seen so many stars this week. It started out earlier this week with Christian Bautista, then Rachelle Ann Go with Jeremy Marquez and then last night Bo Sanchez.


I've been a fan of Bo Sanchez for the longest time. I almost worked for Kerygma as a writer back in college, but I had to beg off because the office was too far away (and back then internet connection wasn't this easy). I've been reading his books and other published works for quite some time now and have even encouraged my friends to read his books. Why? Because they're inspirational and they help in improving one's faith and relationship with God.


Two years ago I read in one of his books that as a single person you should manage to serve better. When I was a kid I used to be so active in our Parish. I was either an officer or a member of so many organizations. I eventually trimmed things down and just remained active in the Sun Valley Music Ministry (16 years now!). During the time I read that book I was sooo busy preparing to launch LUK4, but there was that nagging feeling that I was set to do something for my service.


And the day came that our Parish Priest, Fr. Leo Acierto, C.P. invited parishioners to join in creating a parish newsletter. Di ako mapakale. Well, eventually I ended up being it's editor despite the busy schedule. Somebody said that serving is never easy. Believe me, it hasn't.


So imagine how thrilled (galak na galak na galak!) I was when Bo Sanchez showed up in yesterday's Blog Parteeh `07. I was talking with someone and was half-listening to the program and thought that he'd appear through a video message. My jaw dropped when he suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Grabeh! I was so embarrased with the person I was talking with coz I became so distracted (sorry po!).


After Bo's short talk I excused myself and went up to him immediately. I introduced myself as a fan. Sigggghhhh. And then Brother Bo had to go and interview someone and I had to do my spiel for the bloggers. I thought that was the end of it, but Jomar approached me and said that Brother Bo wanted to interview me for his video blog. My jaw dropped a second time that evening. Me? I said, "Me?"


I guess I was tulala most of the time in the interview. I completely forgot to mention that aside from my social communications ministry duties I was active in our parish choir. Oh well, I was just simply thrilled and couldn't wait for my Mom and sister-in-law to get home from Bicol so I can make tsismis about this once in a lifetime opportunity.


Jomar gave away some free books and I asked Brother Bo for an autograph in his book "How to Find Your One True Love". He signed it, "Create love." Uyyy, create love... (Read related post).


It was truly an enchanted evening for me. It's been 24 hours and I'm still starstruck...

Read my views about loving in my post "When God Writes Your Love Story".

The Valentine Search is On

Whoopsies! So the cat’s out of the bag. My bet with Stephanie’s no longer a secret and it’s a riot!

Friendly-friend Janette blogged about it. So read it there. I’m quite embarrassed about it (red-faced), but hey, it’s out so I’m just here to explain why.

Wait... wait... lemme hyperventilate for awhile...

Why the search?

1. It’s something I’ve been ignoring. It’s been a while since I really thought about these things… okay, okay I’ll say the word… love (there that wasn’t so hard). Gulp. Janette was flabbergasted with my top 10 to-do list for the year. She said, “How do you intend to find him if it’s not even in our plans?” Good point. So I’m adding it as my 11th thing to do this year. I guess I never really thought it’s achievable that’s why I didn’t right it down.

2. I’ve been too busy. When you’re too busy with work this thing really becomes the least priority. My parents keep asking me when’s the next time I’m going to go out. Don’t get me wrong, I do go out but it’s just that I guess I haven’t met the right person.

3. It’s all Bo Sanchez’ fault. I’ve gotten so messed up reading so many books on dating (The Rules, He’s Not Into You, Boy Meets Girl) that I’ve ended up being scared to do it! Anyway, his newest bestseller “How to Find Your One True Love” has changed my views. Kuya Bo has an assignment in his book that Stephanie and I are helping each other to complete (yes moral support needed!).

4. And finally, my best friends are going crazy over me. My poor best friends have been taking care of me all these years and I think I’ve driven them to the brink of insanity. So, my dear future SO, please show up soon coz they might end up in the mental hospital already.

Qualifications and How to Apply (ha-ha-ha)

Well… hmm… it’s in Janette’s blog. But, overall, I think you should just read “How to Find Your One True Love”.

Promise, di ako magsusungit. Or you can go through my screening committee (ha-ha): Darwin, Tappy, Anne , Janette, Ely and/or Jay.

Read my thoughts about loving in my article "When God Writes Your Love Story".