True Peace Begins in a Heart that Loves

Pope Leo XIX tweeted this today,

For many years there was a gap in my heart. It ran really deep and probably contributed a lot to my ailments. I prayed hard for healing and it finally started a few years ago. I read that the only way to heal long sown wounds is to talk to your younger self and explain why it's okay now. You can also add how you can release the pain and move on. 

I realized my prayer was being answered and that's what I did. From that time I felt peace and I was able to move forward. It also helps if you focus on what you are grateful for every single day. It can be as mundane as feeling the breeze, getting love from your cats, appreciating your hubby making you oatmeal and other simple things/actions. 

As Pope Leo XIV said, "True peace begins in a heart that loves." Replace the pain with love and things will feel lighter and gentler. It will also remind you that you are never alone  :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

The Ten Commandments

I was sorting my Mom's collection of religious books and prayer books. I know she loved slipping in things inside of books, so I would leaf through the books also to see if there was anything important.

I found a cinema ticket for "The Ten Commandments", April 19, 1959, 2pm at the Galaxy Theater. I'm not surprised that Mom got to watch it in the theatre (I'm assuming the ticket was my Mom's).

I got to watch the film too when Ate sent a VHS copy of it. We usually watched it every year during Holy Week. It's a very long movie and the only film we wereththe  allowed to watch during Holy Week (back then cable TV did not exist and most stations were off the air during Holy Week). It was one of my Mom's favourite movies.

Finding the ticket reminded me of the most important commandment -

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36-40)

Just love.

Have a blessed and loving Holy Week everyone.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Learning Acceptance and Being Content

I was planning to write about alternate realities today, but thought I'd go the more positive route. Yup, I was about to do a rant post about people who seem to be living an alternate reality -- one where they are above the law. I learned though that it's unhealthy for me to worry about things I cannot control. 

Yesterday's Didache reflection gave me a lot of food for thought. It asked, "Lord, what do You want me to learn today?" I was unwell for a few weeks and I realized I hit a slump again. I don't feel good when I'm not productive. Sweetie keeps reminding me to focus on one thing for now - rest so I can get well. Followed his advise, slept all day on Friday and I was feeling better yesterday. 

I read the Didache reflection just before I went to sleep last night. I realized that I've been waiting for a grand mission from Him. It's clear to me that He wants me to focus on my family first, but I've been asking Him, "Is there anything else I need to do?" Typical me, pushing myself hard, haha. 

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

This prayer is credited to theologian Reinhold Niebuhr and adopted by the Alcoholics Anonymous organization. Perhaps it's useful for me also since I'm addicted to being productive. I need to find the courage to accept that I have physical limitations and I can't do the same activities I used to do. I also need to forgive myself for letting people down. 

I am grateful I've been able to retire and get the rest I need. My heart hurts for other people like me who are forced to work immediately following a pulmonary embolism. There are many and I read about their pain in our patient group. It's really hard especially when you don't have the proper support you need. 

Accept. Be content. Be thankful. 

“The Lord says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.’” (Psalm 32:8, NLT)

#BeKind #StayHome

Finding Joy

Sweetie's back at work which means I'm left by myself during the day. I actually enjoy being alone. It gives me time to recharge and do things I like. My siblings were already teenagers when I was born so my Mom taught me how to keep busy. That's how I got into crafting. 

Joy because I rode a new car! It smelled so good and uncle was really nice too.

It took me awhile to transition from my busy work lifestyle to my now slowed down lifestyle. The transition was terrible since I'm used to multitasking multitasks. It took time for me to accept the fact that my tank was empty and it's going to take a long time to fill up again. 

Honestly it's been only two weeks since I accepted that I need a long break. I'm at peace with it now. I woke up full of gratitude today. I kept waking up last night, but I still woke up happy. I think it's because I now easily find joy in the littlest of things. 

I'm happy because I had a great PT session yesterday. It makes me deliriously happy when my physiotherapist says we did a lot and I did well. I'm happy because someone pointed out to me that it's great I'm able to help back home in my own little way. I'm happy because I'm almost done with my food processor quilt cover project. I'm happy because Sweetie's lemon ginger tea cured my achy pointy finger. I'm happy because Miggy's been able to expand his cooking prowess. And so much more. 

I know it's very hard to find joy at this time. There's so much going on in the world. Headlines make me mad and exasperated. I watched Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD and Bo Sanchez' conversation today and Fr. Jerry shared how he overcame cancer. He said, "Don't focus on the tumor, focus on the humor." He explained that God is bigger than anything, even this virus. Just focus on Jesus and we will overcome all of this. 

Don't worry my friend, we'll all be alright. 

CB///Yr2/10  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/37 #StayHome #BeKind  

Dousing Anger with Humility

I had a bad dream last night. In it I was very angry. I don't know why I was angry. Sweetie woke me up because I was making a fuss. When I went back to sleep I dreamt my Mom and Dad were there. My Dad was trying to tell me something. I'm not sure what it was. 

I had a dizzy spell before I went to sleep last night. It just came so suddenly while I was brushing my teeth. I haven't had that for awhile now. I think it's from stress from being away from work for so long now. When I woke up I still felt angry. I'm angry and frustrated that I'm still unwell. 

I had to meet someone this morning and I was afraid that I might end up directing my frustration at him. It was three minutes before my meeting. I prayed. I also looked for today's GodWhispers and got this -

Be humble. I didn't have time to process it. I just took a deep breath and obeyed. The words just flowed out of me during the meeting. I had an idea what I wanted to communicate in the meeting. I got what I wanted because I was able to stamp out the frustration and anger with humility. And I was able to communicate what I wanted. 

Prayer is truly powerful. Have a great week my friends. 

CB///346 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/9 #StayHome #BeKind 

Wish Day Wednesday

Uncertainty is something I think all of us struggle with. For the longest time I only focused on getting through the day every day. I just kept working and working. In the long run this was bad for me. I burnt out.

I eventually learned that not everything I buy needs to be justified. My Kuya taught me a different way to manage my finances. After savings, here's what he recommended -

10% investment build passive income
10% upgrading yourself
10% celebrate
10% keep for emergency
55% everyday expenses
Start at 5% Tithing

Prior to his advise I viewed everything as an expense. I switched to save mode when my doctor told me that I already needed heart surgery. I was not sure at that time if insurance was going to cover everything so for more than a year I started to save like crazy. I saved in case insurance did not cover my surgery. Luckily it was, but after that I focused my finances to pay for our mortgage. I always had the thought that I shouldn't leave my family in debt in case something went wrong.

Sometimes we unnecessarily put dark clouds in our lives.

This meant I wasn't living the life I should be living. My Kuya's advise helped me a lot because it gave me a better perspective on how I should manage my finances. It also allowed leeway for me to grow, allot for the future, save for emergencies and most importantly, celebrate wins! This perspective also helped me work on my well-being and heal.

So I thought for Wednesday, I'd blog about a wish I have for myself. It will probably swing from mundane wishes to deep save the world wishes. I'll probably stick to mundane wishes for now since everything else feels heavy already.

There's one thing I've wanted for many, many years now -- a KitchenAid mixer! I have this insane purchasing decision making process when it comes to appliances and gadgets. It takes me anywhere between 2 to 5 years before I actually make a purchase. It's usually not because of the cost, but I go through this crazy justification process before I buy anything expensive.

Took this photo in 2016. Still using it today!

I haven't been able to buy the KitchenAid mixer because my $20 mixer which I bought back in 2012 still works. Hahaha. Yes, I'm kuripot that way. Blame my Kuya because he told me when I was young that I should only buy things when I really need it.

I found a really good deal today because it's GSS. I had already told myself early this month that I would get a KitchenAid mixer for myself on my birthday (next month). I was able to justify the purchase (finally after >5 years!) because I've been baking every week. Before I clicked add to cart I pinged two friends to ask if it was a good deal. They said yes! Sweetie said if I still hesitated he would've bought it for me. I think I drive him crazy with my purchase decision making process. 

I'm crazy that way, but with my Kuya's advise I'm getting better at taking care of myself. In these uncertain times we must believe that there is a beautiful future waiting for us. We need to learn what these hard times are trying to teach us. Let's keep wishing (and praying). We'll get through this together.


CB//114 #StuckAtHomeDay/144 #WFH83  #StayHome #BeKind

Who Leads You?

The readings on Didache the last few days has been about trusting the Lord during uncertain times. The reflections have been spot on about the situation we are all in right now.

I remember that time when my life was crazy. It was one disappointment after another. I was constantly frustrated. It was during a flight back home from the US when I prayed really hard and told God, "I give up, please navigate my life". He immediately answered my request.

After experiencing a lot of disappointment in my life I took things one day at a time. I still do. I don't worry about the future because I know I always where I should be. Way back when I was "dating" I came to a point where I prayed to God to remove those guys who were not the one. God was pretty humorous about it. All the guys who were not the one would have a leg/foot injury! He a.slo made it so obvious to me that they were not meant for me.

When my first mission at my current job was completed it meant I had to find another role. I told my manager at that time that if there wasn't anything for me then I would understand that my mission was probably over. He was so shocked with my statement and said, "Of course we want to keep you!" They found the perfect role for me a few weeks after that and I found myself moving to Singapore shortly after that. Moving to another country was never in my plans.

New job, new office in 2011.

I was where I was supposed to be. Two years after moving to Singapore I had heart surgery. My doctors told me that it was a good thing I did it here because they had the expertise to ensure I survived it. They admitted a few years later that they almost lost me because of my complicated body setup. I'm forever grateful to them and my former managers who found a way to move me to Singapore.

I have things I want to do in the future and I thought I was going to start my future this year. God had other plans though. He made it very clear that my current mission isn't over yet and I have to stay put and fulfill what I have to do. I trust Him completely to navigate my life.

What about you? Who leads your life?

CB//109 #StuckAtHomeDay/139 #WFH80  #StayHome #BeKind

Conquering Fears and Worries

The last time we had a pandemic that affected the whole world was over a hundred years ago. My Papa Lolo would've been 10-years old then and my Mama Lola was just born that year. This Manila Times article says that there were 80,000 Filipinos who died and the abstract of this study also suggests that it was not managed well. I don't think anyone would ever be ready to manage such a treacherous virus.

A snap from the new version of "Tell the World of His Love".
That's my 20-year old happy self leaving everything to God's will. 

It's been fourth months since I've just been staying at home. I'm sure like me you have gone through a roller coaster of emotions the last few months. From "okay I could get used to staying home, I've done this before" to "I miss the outside world, I miss my family and friends" to "OMG they extended the quarantine period, nooooo!" to acceptance.

I learned to accept the unknown after they announced the extension of the circuit breaker here in Singapore. I was so affected when it was announced because I had led myself to believe that the set-up was okay with me. I was trying to be brave. The next day I read a reflection about dealing with uncertainty. It was a good reminder for me that I should not worry about anything. Just lift all your worries and fears to Him and have faith that He will take care of you

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

A blessed Sunday everyone!



#CB//90  #StuckAtHomeDay/120 #StayHome #BeKind 

Humility and my Dad

"Do not set yourself up to be served."

I don't remember the exact words that Fr. Hilarion said this morning during his homily. It was a timely reminder for me since sometimes I do get carried away whenever someone heaps you with praises (my boss just recently gave me a huge pat on my back recently). Fr. Hilarion, who's probably in his 90s now (he was one of the first 3 Passionist Fathers who came to the Philippines) defnitely burst my bubble and put me back in my rightful place.

It was a good time as well to reflect on how my Dad taught me the value of humility. He did it by example. I am a Daddy's girl and I remember my Dad would always bring me to Quad and we'd have merienda at Luk Yuen. He'd also bring me to the tennis court whenever he played tennis and I saw the good camaraderie they had. It wasn't all eat and play, my Dad also brought me to the different projects he initiated and was involved in our Parish. The most memorable for me though was when he worked out to free an innocent man from prison and when they embarked on getting our Parish Church built.

My Dad's 77 years old now, retired and just resting at home. He doesn't get around as he used to, but I see a lot of his friends visiting him at home, oftentimes just to chat or ask for advise. This morning his friends from Knights of Columbus had a "couples" breakfast at home because they were going to have a marriage encounter activity. My Dad gave up a lot for us (especially the offers he got to run for government) and he didn't become spectacularly popular, but he has served (and continues to do so) and he has done this with much humility.

I love you Dad. Happy Father's Day.

Anger and Power

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” - Confucius

That was the opening line of Fr. Rudy Fernandez in his homily last Sunday and it stuck in my head. Fr. Rudy cited a traffic altercation he experienced in another country. He was the one who was wronged, but even though he was angry he surprised the other guy by giving him a pleasant greeting. The other guy was taken aback and the anger just dissipated.

The homily was still on my mind all day Monday since I've been wanting to update my Homegrown blog every week (have failed miserably). Mid-afternoon I was surprised to see Avel's Plurk about unconfirmed reports that more than 40 people were killed in Maguindanao. A number of them were his media friends. Later on it was all over the news.

I still could not quite grasp what happened in Maguindanao. I cannot understand why people were massacred and news reports say that it’s because of warring clans. The area reportedly has warlords ruling over the territory.

The struggle for power. We’ve seen this happen again and again throughout history and it usually involves bloodshed and death. The want for power seems to always have anger involved and innocent people are always victimized in pursuit for it. We always see this plot in movies and telenovelas, but it's really shocking to see it really happening.

A lot of people in the blogosphere have been asking what can be done. I honestly have no idea what we can do about this because this is really big, big stuff. What my Mom always tells me is to start with yourself and pray. And going back to what Fr. Rudy said when he quoted Confucius, "When anger rises, think of the consequences."

Hope you can take a moment of silence to pray for the victims and their families. God bless!