There is Life After a Beautiful Career

I didn't tell anyone when I was thinking about following the recommendation of my doctors to retire. I even told Sweetie about it when I was already half-way through my decision. I didn't want to alarm or worry my family about my plans. I prayed and kept praying until I felt at peace with my decision. 

I had a wonderful career. Working at an international tech company was my 11th job. I stayed there for 15 years and had a very unique experience. To be honest I still don't know why they chose me over the highest executive of a bank. I had my quirks, but I think the job fit me like a perfect glove. 

The decision to leave was a very tough one. It was very obvious that my body needed to rest and it would die if I continued to batter it with so much stress. It was very hard to leave because I couldn't imagine what my life would be. 

What helped me was to remember my original goal before I joined the company. I told myself I'll just complete my top 10 wish list for my country, have Miggy finish his studies and then go back home. Miggy completed his studies in 2019 and I completed my check list by August 2020. Remembering what my goals were made it easier for me to disengage and embrace the recommendation of my doctors. 

It took awhile to fully disengage and accept my new life. My life is quieter now and I'm happy living it with my boys. We live very simply and have been focusing on what's important. I have also stopped asking God what my purpose is now. It's very obvious! My purpose is to remind people to focus on what is important. Pray. Be happy. Love. And serve. 

Breathe. 

“Friends, do not be afraid of silence or stillness. Listen to God. Adore Him in the Eucharist.” (Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI)

#BeKind #StaySafe

An Extraordinary Week

We've been puttering around our house a lot more lately. I got to spend a lot more time gardening and cooking last week. My endurance seems to be improving a bit because of pulmo rehab. I think I'm finally starting to enjoy retirement. There were days though that were not good and I missed my second pulmo rehab session. My Fitbit says though I moved much more this week than last week. 

Achievement unlocked!

Cooked four times in the last 7 days. I don't remember the last time I cooked more than once a week. I told my therapist that I'm usually only able to do one major activity a day. I'm usually too tired after and can't do anything else. If it's a major activity, the next day is normally set for rest. Well, I'm happy with the progress I've made. I really want to be able to prepare our meals, so I'm also studying new recipes. 

Gardening

I got to spend three days gardening last week. Spent two days working on reviving the orchids. Then another day organizing my plants. The kittens have been exploring the garden a lot more, so I had to move the veggies to the pocket garden. Sweetie and Miggy helped me since I had a lot of pots to move. 

Kaley Boo gave Birth!

Kaley grew a lot in the past two weeks. We knew she was due already last week since she had become more lethargic, hungrier and selosa. I posted a short video of her sleeping. She seemed really anxious though, so I felt she was about to give birth. I was right because she went MIA the next day and only came back 3 days after. We have no idea where her kittens are since she only visits us during the day. We think Kaley and the other two calico cats (Cheyenne and Sandra) live two houses away. Hopefully the kittens are okay.

Brimsley was pretty stressed out this week. We came home late twice and she didn't like it since her routine was disrupted. Ahh, the cat has been spoilt, haha. We're usually just around and rarely go out. She was so cross she refused to go to the vet! Only the kittens were able to go and get vaccinated. We'll stay home this week to make it up to her (haha). 

Hopefully things get much better! Just believe and pray!

#BeKind #StaySafe

3 Months Back Home

We've been home for almost 3 months now! Woohoo! And I'm happy I managed to stay stable for three months and didn't need to see a doctor. It's an achievement for me since I saw a doctor weekly for a year. I could have probably avoided getting sick, so I need to be more vigilant. My mistake was I didn't wear a dust mask when I did some cleaning and I failed to use an air purifier during the day. I was feeling good, so I thought I didn't need those things anymore. At least I know what I need to do to safeguard my health.

 

We arrived on November 4. Completed quarantine, got reunited with family and moved to a new home. The first two months was really crazy! It's not a good idea to move weeks before Christmas! We were only able to decorate two days before Christmas. We managed to have a nice noche buena and Christmas lunch with Mom. By New Year though we were so tired from cleaning and organizing, we ended up having delivery on new year's eve. 

The post holiday surge though forced us to just stay home. All our "outdoor plans" were shelved. That gave us time to rest and organize our new home. It's still incomplete, but at least we now have a makeshift living room and craft area. Sweetie has started to organize the family room. We probably need to spend more time at the basement because of the warmer weather. 

One thing we've been busy with is gardening. We're trying to grow our own veggies. Growing veggies progressed better at our balcony in Singapore. We realized that the sprouts haven't been getting enough sunshine, so we're moving them to another location today. We hope that would help them improve and give us a good harvest in a few months. It's been fun taking care of new plants and getting supplies is much easier here. 

I hope to feel better in a few days. I had to find a GP since I couldn't locate my regular GP. My new GP was happy with the results of my blood test. She also said I'm so blessed to have survived two PEs and reminded me to keep praying. I told Sweetie I never got that kind of advise in SG hehe. I appreciated it though since it was a good reminder. She was yesterday's guardian angel. I'm back to being cheerful today. Yay! 

Stay amazing friends!

#BeKind #StayHome

Becoming a Homemaker + Made Pinangat Pasta

I'm terribly slow when it comes to fixing stuff. It was the one thing that Mommy always scolded me on. I usually know where everything is, call it organized chaos. Well, they say mess creates stress. I remember in high school I would spend a lot of time fixing my room first before studying for final exams. I carried that on at work and when I do home projects. Doing that isn't really effective, so I've been correcting the habit by fixing as I go. I now try to integrate chores in my routine, i.e. putting away newly washed flatware while waiting for the water to boil. 

I'm not a natural homemaker like my Mom. I learned on the job when Sweetie, Miggy and I moved to our first home. It was a good thing we had home eco class back in high school, so I learned some basic stuff. The other skills I learned by watching videos on YouTube and doing research. I think the best way for me to tackle this is to look at it as home management rather than home making. That way it won't be as overwhelming. 

My Kuya will probably laugh at what I'm trying to do. I told him a few years ago that it was my dream job to be a housewife. He said, "You're not going to last. You'll probably want to work again after a few months." Well... my doctors recommended for me not to work because I shouldn't get stressed. My body also reminds me about my limitations everyday. So I have to be realistic with my expectations. 

Here's my plan:

1. Tackle things by parts.

2. Get help where you can. (Asked friends for suggestions on how to fix our pantry aka sari-sari store).

3. Fix as you go so chores don't pile up. 

Overworked yesterday and had to lie down after dinner. I was finally able to get to know my new induction stove. It was mind boggling how it could have 10 temperature levels! My simple one-burner induction stove only had 5 levels. Well, it was fun swiping left and right to find the correct temp, haha. Made some pinangat pasta with ready-made pinangat. Here's how my cousin, Ate Odette, taught me how to make it --

Still hoping things will be a bit more organized by Christmas!

#Home40 #NewG206 #Xmas12 #StayHome #BeKind  

Thankful

We giggled as we ate our "Thanksgiving" dinner last night. It's Thanksgiving in the US and Miggy mentioned it as we started to eat dinner. "While everyone's eating turkey, we're eating Indomie," Sweetie said and that was when we giggled. We did order spinach lasagna for Thanksgiving, but only realized after that it will only be available on Saturday. We seriously need to do better in planning our meals. 

We enjoyed our meal. What's more important for us is we're together as a family. We're able to share stories, memes, weird ideas and funny memories in person. Sometimes when we need quiet time we retire in our room to recharge or do our own thing. Being together again is what I'm most thankful for this year. 

I am also thankful to be alive. I had my second PE* last January and have had complications after. I'm grateful for all the love and care from my family and friends. I'm also grateful to all my doctors, nurses and health workers who have cared for me. I am alive because of them and I thank God for giving me this chance to live. 

My only wish for now is for all my family and friends to be safe, healthy, secure, blessed and happy. I've also been praying for our country to have a leader who would bring peace, progress and prosperity. And, of course, bottomless prayers for all frontliners. My impossible cause prayer to St. Jude is for me to be healed. 

Being thankful and grateful is what has helped me the past few months. It's what has kept my PTSD** at bay. I'm still adjusting to my new life and I'm slowly accepting that my body is very different now. My biggest mistake post-OHS*** was to live like I didn't have surgery. I was bent on proving I could do everything. For now I'll just be thankful and grateful I have this chance to create more happy memories with family and friends. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

#Home23 #NewG223 #Xmas29 #StayHome #BeKind   

PE - pulmonary embolism

PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder

OHS - open heart surgery

Finally Slowing Down

Chatting with my work seatmate, I told him what I've been up to lately. We've been busy with re-organizing our home, but things are going super slow. He reminded me that's how it's supposed to be now that I'm "retired". That was a good reminder for me to just chill, relax and work on recovery. 

Seatmate spelled it out for me, "You're now completely free. You were probably anxious all those months you were on medical leave that you could still be asked to come back." What he said is true. I slept for three days at the hotel. It felt really strange because I would just conk out at a snap of a finger. And now that I'm home I also fall asleep faster. 

Now I understand why my doctors recommended me to leave my job. It was really for my own good and I'm happy they let me go through the process of letting go. It was like a break-up because I loved what I do. Through the process I learned to forgive myself, let go and move on. I catch myself smiling at odd times of the day, haha. This is really the first time I hit the brakes so hard and I'm just enjoying sitting still. 

We've been home for 9 days now and so far -

1. We finished one Survivor series (Caramoan). 

2. Got some things fixed at home, i.e. sliding door, stove is in progress. 

3. The pothos and baby rubber plant I brought home has grown roots. The pothos grew new leaves too. 

4. My kitchen's working now, well except for the stove. I ordered a one-burner stove since it looks like it will take time for La Germania to finish fixing it. I already want to cook the goodies a friend sent me (plus I received a gazillion eggs from Elvin and Lynette!). 

5. Ate amazing food. Period. 

I have a friend who's betting I will only do this for 3-4 months, hahaha. He said I'll probably yearn for the challenges I used to face. Well, we'll see, for now I just want to rest and focus on family and catch up with friends. 

P.S. It's really interesting how much people are using gadgets to prevent the spread of the virus. I see vloggers walking around with alcohol misters. Some use nano spray guns to disinfect deliveries. We never used those in SG and I wonder if everyone uses these things here? 

#Home15 #NewG229 #Xmas37 #StayHome #BeKind  

Things I'll Do After Quarantine

I'm still experiencing baboy reflex* especially after eating breakfast. There's something about being back home that's encouraging me to just keep sleeping. I had a lot of trouble sleeping when I was in Singapore. The past few days I just keep conking out. Haha. Maybe my body is still recovering from the busy time we had packing our home. 

Anyway, I just have two more nights here at the quarantine hotel. I finally got a schedule for my swab test after trying to reach Padlab by email, Messenger, phone call and text. I also tried Aide app, but there seems to be a bug. Oh well, getting things done has always been harder here hehe. Now that I have that out of the way I could focus on planning what I'll do after I get out. 

Well, we still have four days of quarantine we need to complete at home. That will give me time to catch up with Miggy and collect many hugs! We'll finally see Mom on Sunday. I hope we could also drop by the church to say a prayer. 

It's going to be mayhem when we get home on Tuesday. I just realized it's going to be hard to squeeze in everything in our tiny home! Good luck to us on that. Miggy asked about groceries we're going to order. I'm putting together a simple menu for the next few days, probably easy to cook items like adobo, bistek and sinigang. I want to cook some of Daddy's mustasa dish for Mom. I'll probably order some veggies from onlinepalengke.com. 

Keeping it simple for our first week back home. My neighbor advised me to take my time to acclimate haha. We'll just do a lot of catching up, do some house cleaning and stock up on food. 

How's your Sunday going? Mine got really exciting, tell ya tomorrow! :D

*Baboy reflex - a phrase my nieces taught me. It means falling asleep right after eating.

#Quarantine4 #Home4 #NewG240 #Xmas48 #StayHome #BeKind 

Learning the Art of Doing Nothing

Back when I knew how to relax.

I had a strange dream last night. I was out with friends at the old Glorietta area. Old Ayala Centre where SM Makati wasn't connected yet to Glorietta. The carabao statues were still around. We just kept walking around and went to National Bookstore. It was quite a walk back to the car and my friends kept pointing out a closed establishment which was named "Zenight Disco Bar". Afaik this place never existed so that was the strange thing about the dream. 

Oxford defines zenith as "the time at which something is most powerful or successful". It's also an astronomical term. I guess my friends were pointing out the closed establishment to remind me that my 15-year work journey is over. 

I wrote out a summary of the 15-years the other day. I didn't expect to get so many comments and well-wishes. A friend told me she couldn't leave a comment because she kept crying. She said there was so much love in the comments. I had to delay reading some of it because I kept choking up with tears too. I guess I did something right in the past 15 years and I'm grateful for all the love. 

Many friends have also told me to enjoy, get lots of rest and spend time with family. I have a problem... I don't know how to chill. I have yet to learn the art of doing nothing. When I sit to watch TV my hands are usually busy sewing or sorting things. Sweetie usually has to remind me to rest.  I just can't sit still haha. I only stop when I feel unwell. 

I heard that Sonya's Garden offers lessons on "The Art of Doing Nothing". Maybe I should enroll in that when I'm back home and when it's safe to travel. A friend also suggested to me to go to "The Farm at San Benito". Some suggested I travel. I remember during our last staycation I just slept and slept, so maybe that would be a good idea (as long as it's safe to travel).

The real reason I couldn't keep still is I don't feel useful. I feel I'm not serving my purpose. I only felt I deserved a break if I delivered. This is partly why I have an 80-year old's body now. This is something I need to resolve with myself so I could embrace the stress-free life my doctors have mandated for me. My doctors told me my personality is a problem hehehe. 

Suggestions are welcome :)

CB////*Yr2/191 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/212 #NewG257 #Home15 #Xmas67 #StayHome #BeKind