Dear Mom, it's been four weeks since you joined Daddy in heaven. Most days I just think you're at home and busy with your garden. The most difficult is not being able to call you up and tell you stories. I dream of you often and as usual you just say you're okay and happy with Dad.
My heart is heavy today Ma. I couldn't even bring myself to wear the shirt I wore when we brought you to MMP. The only thing that calms me is sewing and when I get to go out to tend to my plants. We've been thinking about how to preserve your garden. I told Kuya that we have to protect it at all costs because we won't be able to replicate it.
I've been keeping myself from crying because I know it's not good for my heart. I remember you said the same thing when Mama Lola passed away. I don't know why, but today's different and the tears just keep falling. I'm just thinking my body needs to release more fluid (hehe).
The past few weeks have been quiet. I got to see Ate and Kuya together after so many years. We celebrated Daddy's birthday with a Lucban feast. I followed your skilled cooking technique, ordered food (haha). The AQI has been really bad so I haven't been able to do much. Hopefully I'll be able to do the required paperwork this week. I just couldn't bring myself to do it because it seems so final.
We're busying ourselves to clear out our living room in time for your 40th day. Kuya and I decided to do it in my home to protect me from the heat. We'll just have a private mass and then hopefully stream it so everyone can join.
Miss you Ma. Kisses and hugs.
#BeKind #StaySafe
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