How Managing My Money Better Made Me Happier

When my Kuya gave me advise on how to manage my money better I realized I wasn't enjoying my hard earned money. Whenever making a purchase I would debate with myself if it was a need. It prevented me from growing and being happy. 

I was that way because I was fearful about saddling my family with medical expenses. I was leading my life in fear and that was wrong. It showed I had very little faith. It also showed that I wasn't truly living. I just followed a routine and it was a huge disservice to my family. We could've made more happy memories.

Managing your money better helped in my healing journey. Changing how I budgeted helped me grow and be happier. I find reasons to celebrate and reward this with good food. My quilting skills have improved because I invested in learning new things. I worried less because I worked on my investments. I've been able to focus on recovering. Here's the breakdown my Kuya gave me - 

I'm now transitioning to a new phase in my life. With faith and a lot of prayer I hope I've made the right decisions to be financially free. It's also a good thing that I stuck to the same spending habits I had when I had before moving to SG. I missed out on a lot of experiences, but at least I won't have a hard time adjusting again to life back home. 

CB///*Yr2/156 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/179 #NewG291 #Home49 #Xmas102 #StayHome #BeKind 

The Saint Who Brought Me My Forever

My Mom brought me up to get to know the saints. They also taught it in school. I love the fact that I'm remembering this part of me and I could ask for their intercession for my prayers and intentions. Something missing? Pray to St. Anthony. Pandemic? Pray to St. Roch. Need a miracle? Pray to Padre Pio* and ask your guardian angel to whisper to his ear. Anxiety? Pray to St. Dymphna. Teaching? Of course, St. La Salle is the one. 

At the La Salle Generalate, Rome.

I'm happy I bounced back quickly from last week's procedure. It was a blessing in disguise it was rescheduled because I can get feedback from my doctor before I get vaxxed this week. I've been praying a lot and I realized that's what was lacking in me the past few years. I think after OHS** I got too brazen and thought I was invincible. I was doing my mission and took it for granted that all systems would just run smoothly. 

I prayed every night, but my head would always be buzzing with other things. A couple of weeks ago I thought I could improve with how I did my prayers. I always hear people say that you have to be specific about your requests. I downloaded two prayer apps and started to pray novenas (now I know why my Mom always uses her prayer books). It was then I remembered the saint who led me to Sweetie. 

St. Jude, the patron saint of impossible causes. At some point in my life I gave up on love. I was badly heartbroken and kept meeting the wrong kind of guys. I felt it was impossible to find true love. I heard about St. Jude, so thought I'd pray to him. I did and eventually met Sweetie. I think I never thanked St. Jude for helping write my love story. I thank him every night now and I'm requesting for a couple of impossible things. Have anything that you think is impossible? Pray to St. Jude. He gave me my forever (#sanaol). 

CB///*Yr2/155 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/178 #NewG292 #Home50 #Xmas103 #StayHome #BeKind 

*Padre Pio novena starts tomorrow

**OHS - open heart surgery

Sorting Out a Decade

October 2011, moved to SG.

Where do you start sorting 10 years of your life? Our apartment is a huge mess right now because we've started to look through our things. When I moved to Singapore I came with only two suitcases and I only shipped a mattress, a sack of rice and a folding table. 

I was able to keep things the same for five years. I was lucky because my housemate had everything and kept telling me not to buy stuff. Things changed when Miggy and Sweetie moved here. We eventually moved to our own place. That meant I had to make our place into a home. 

"This is just temporary," was a thought that was always at the back of my mind. It reflected also when I had to buy things for the house. It was limiting because it prevented me from doing things I liked to do, i.e. baking. The pandemic though changed things because I wanted to try out new things. Kuya also advised to allot a percentage of your money for self-development (see how I budget my money here). Ahh, that really changed things. 

Started our with just two bags 10 years ago (one was Sweetie's)...

I spent a bit of time sorting three bags of random stuff yesterday. I know Marie Kondo said you should do this last haha. I went through receipts, concert and movie tickets, boarding passes, museum leaflets and a gazillion business cards. All of those reminded me that once upon a time my life wasn't just confined in the four walls of our apartment. Proof of life. 

So yeah, that's the challenge I need to work on for the next few weeks. I have to do it slowly to make sure I don't get sick. I wanted to do more yesterday, but remembered I just had a biopsy. I hope to be able to get rid of stuff I don't need and donate it. We started this with our old devices. Oh boy, sorting out a decade of your life is hard. 

CB///*Yr2/154 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/177 #NewG293 #Home51 #Xmas104 #StayHome #BeKind 

Mysteries, Miracles

One of the causes of anxiety is a perception that you do not have control over something. The best way to get a hold of feeling anxious is to manage how you perceive things. Kuya told me to look up when you're starting to feel anxious. It works because when you look up what you see immediately changes. That prevents you from falling into the ugly black hole. 

Dr. Joe Dispenza, on the other hand, says that we keep going back to these negative feelings because it becomes an addiction. An example is when you keep going back to a toxic relationship even though you already know it's bad for you. Or when you keep accepting too much work, but you still feel good even if it's affecting your health. That's why Dr. Joe wrote the book, "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself". 

I know I've fallen in the trap so many times throughout my life. I think the hardest thing to learn is letting go. Getting your grip off something you're so used to doing is hard. Trying to solve a mystery that doesn't have an answer can make you go gaga. There are things in life that you cannot control and best left as a mystery. 

I actually said that to the doctor the other day when he was briefing me before the procedure. He asked me what caused my PEs. I told him I got poked some many times already by different doctors. They couldn't explain clearly the cause of my clots. I don't worry about it now because I think mysteries can be disguised as miracles. 

Back in 2008 to 2009, the results of my blood test showed that the the tumor marker CA125 reached 5x normal level. It was so bad the medtech at Makati Med said she was so sorry for the results. My doctor did more tests, but did not find anything. After a visit to Kamay ni Hesus, the tumor marker went down to normal in a span of six months. My doctor couldn't explain why and said that he wished all his patients were like me. To me it was a miracle. 

So don't stress, the mysteries or the things in your life you cannot be control may be a miracle in disguise. Just leave it up to God to solve <3

CB///*Yr2/153 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/176 #NewG294 #Home52 #Xmas105 #StayHome #BeKind 

My Buying Habits have Changed

So much has changed in the last 2 years. I don't know about you, but I previously preferred to go to the mall and supermarket to buy things I need. Malling was my official exercise on record on my doctor's notes. I made him laugh so hard when I told him what my favorite exercise was. I didn't really like buying things online, but the situation forced me to change my buying habits. 

I started with buying groceries online. It was a huge pain because items were not always available. We also always did not get everything we ordered. Eventually though things improved and we only go to the grocery if we happen to pass by one when doing other errands (like every other month?). I only expanded to buying other things when I needed to buy craft materials. 

Well, that opened the floodgates for me haha. I've joined a couple of online hobby groups and started to learn more about tools that I can use to make quilting easier. Remember, my Mom taught me how to quilt using basic sewing materials and it's been fun to discover that there are things you can use to hasten the process. 

One of my favorite things to do is finding the best deal and sources. Buying craft materials/tools can be challenging. I was so proud of myself when I finally found the right sewing machine extension table haha. I look forward to discovering new online sources when I get home. What I look forward to trying are new food providers, especially the ones that are home made. 

Budol is real every month. I survived 8.8 but not 9.9 haha! I think it's worse than the sweldo sale that malls do back home. We avoided those mall sale days because of the heavy traffic and that's why I think these monthly online sale hosted by Lazada and Shopee is seriously risky! Hahaha. I've learned though and I make a running list of things I need. Hrhrhr. 

My fave Plaza Singapura

I still miss going to the mall. I've been able to still go every other month here in Singapore, but I don't think I'll get to do it when I go home. The funny thing is I've started to take photos of my favorite shops lately. Haha! Do you do that too?

P.S. I'm back home from my daycation at the hospital. Just reminiscing my malling days haha.

CB///*Yr2/152 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/175 #NewG295 #Home53 #Xmas106 #StayHome #BeKind 

The Second Time

Oh what an adventurous day for me. It's the second time of the second test I was supposed to do last Friday. I usually get anxious when I have tests because you can't predict the pain and my body sometimes have weird reactions.

I went to the hospital by myself so Sweetie could work. They don't allow anyway for relatives to hang around. In the morning I was cared for by a nurturing nurse. She kept calling me sayang which is a bahasa term of endearment. I'm not sure if she's from Malaysia or Indonesia. She tucked me in with a blanket and told me to rest. I complied haha.

It was a few hours later when I was finally brought to the OT by chariot, I mean by hospital bed. I was wheeled by an uncle and a friendly Pinoy nurse who reassured me every step of the way. We wheezed through wards and a maze of hallways to get to the other building. Never saw so many different types of ceilings in one ride haha.

Eventually met the doctor who was going to poke me today. He was so full of energy and positive vibes. My kind of doctor! I knew he'd take care of me well. The theater team were also all in high spirits. 

I was awake throughout the procedure and it wasn't scary. At some point the doctor shushed the team outside because they were noisy. I didn't know why he suddenly became serious so I just prayed. It was soon over and the doctor told me it was harder than he thought it would be, but he was able to get what he needed. Hopefully it will solve the question of my doctors.

Why am I sharing this? Unlike our favorite medical dramas, getting diagnosed and treated realistically doesn't happen at a snap of a finger. Usually doctors refer to a norm based on your gender, age group and ethnicity. The challenge happens when you don't fit the model. That's how my original respiratory doctor missed diagnosing my ginormous clots. So it's really important to advocate for yourself. 

On the other hand, be ready also for unsolved mysteries. Just leave it to God to heal in His time.

CB///*Yr2/151 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/174 #NewG296 #Home54 #Xmas107 #StayHome #BeKind 

 

Atas!

Atas is a term they use here in Singapore. It refers to "VIP/being treated like a VIP" or in colloquial term in the Philippines it means "sushal". I've known about the term, but it was the first time today it was used for me. 

After my doctor's appointment I jumped in a cab. The taxi driver was quite friendly and asked me if everything was alright with my hospital visit. I said my doctor was happy with my progress and that we spent an hour for the consultation. He said, "Wow! You're atas!" I laughed at his exclamation. He explained that doctors usually don't take that long when they see their patients. In the short ride he said atas several more times because he couldn't believe my doctor spent so much time with me. 

Well, he would have probably hit the roof if I told him my doctor has written a six-page report about me. He started the report in February and updates it whenever I have something new. The one-hour consultation isn't really a new thing because he really spends a long time with his patients (most are elderly, I'm the odd one usually hehe). It is unusual for a doctor to write a mega report, but he's been keen to solve the mystery of my blood clots. He explained that it's really unusual because my tests do not clearly show the cause and they don't add up. He said my case is more exciting than a Kdrama. Hahaha! 

I used to be so anxious about not knowing. Other similar patients like me usually get a full explanation from their doctor. I've had several doctors in different hospitals try to crack the mystery, but no answer has been found. After three years of chasing to solve the mystery and getting poked so many times I've given up. I'm just leaving it all to God. I've also re-connected with one of my favorite saints, St. Jude, to pray for another impossible request. 

So I'm atas. I look at the mystery now as a special challenge for me from God. It must be the next miracle He will provide for me soon :)

 CB///*Yr2/150 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/173 #NewG297 #Home55 #Xmas108 #StayHome #BeKind