Thursday, April 30, 2009
This is one blog post that I never thought I'd ever make.
I needed a miracle. A fast one. Why? Because my doctors have been hounding me for open heart surgery and we scheduled it initially for sometime in May or June. I have mitral valve regurgitation and my bout of pneumonia last year deteriorated the state of my heart and caused my allergies to get activated and those allergies result in asthma attacks. Oh and did I mention that I have heart failure and this is what is probably causing all my allergies and asthma attacks?
The only other time I got hospitalized was when I gave birth to Miguel almost 15 years ago and I rarely get sick. The past 6 months have been really horrendous. I could barely move around, much less go out, since anything and everything triggered my asthma. I could barely eat as well because of allergies and I more often than not just threw up whatever I ate. The only thing I could eat for weeks was lettuce with a dash of salad dressing. I was also quite dehydrated because the doctor put a cap on my liquid intake. I lost 20 pounds as well. I couldn't sleep because my heart would either palpitate really hard or I would have an asthma attack or have severe backaches. This would happen almost everyday.
Yes, it was that bad.
And all I could do during those hard times was cry and just pray and have Miguel massage on Salonpas on my back.
I was at the doctor every single week and they would do tests and prescribe one medicine after another. The only happy thing about it was that I was not confined again. And getting more points on my Mercury Drug Suki card and SM Advantage Card.
I felt hopeless and just resigned to the fact that I really have to go through surgery. I just prayed that I would survive it. I got really scared though when one of my friends blogged about her heart surgery experience. It did not push through though because the transesophageal echocardiography test they did before surgery showed that her heart miraculously righted itself. Her detailed account about how painful the test was scared the life out of me and I prayed harder that I wouldn't have to go through that test and surgery.
During Holy Week my parents mentioned that they wanted to bring me to Kamay ni Hesus for healing. I knew in my heart that only the Lord can truly heal me. We scheduled it two days before I left for Singapore. I was really apprehensive the whole week since I was having asthma attacks again and I felt that I was going to have a hard time when I went on my trip.
The trip to Lucban was pretty tedious because of the heavy traffic along SLEX and Laguna. Roadworks never seem to end and there were a lot of people going on outings that weekend. We arrived a bit late for mass. When I settled in and connected to the mass I started being teary eyed and eventually started crying when Fr. Joey Faller, the healing priest, started the prayers for healing.
When the mass ended Fr. Faller explained that you would feel that the Holy Spirit is within you if -
1. You cannot help but cry
2. You feel a cool breeze within
3. You feel warm
And that you should not be scared if you get "slain" (faint) during the healing process. You have to pray really hard and my Mom reminded me that we should just leave it all up to Him. She also said that if I really had to go through surgery then that is His Will.
I started to cry again when we queued up for healing. I wanted to be healed really badly for my family and loved ones. I put down my bag on the floor when we lined up in front of the altar and we were reminded to just pray and not be scared. I closed my eyes and prayed really hard. I did not even notice Fr. Faller praying over me.
The next thing I knew I was on the floor and someone tapped me to get up. I was crying really hard and saw my Mom crying too. We embraced each other and someone helped us take our seats in the front pew. I was shaking also and dazed, but I had this wonderful, floating feeling inside of me. I felt great love and I knew then that I was healed.
We headed to the town proper after the healing session and for some strange reason I ordered so many dishes. I had spaghetti, sisig, potato salad, pansit lukban, and leche flan. I was ravenous!
It's been more than ten days since that fateful day I was healed. I also had a check-up with my cardiologist in Singapore and he was baffled himself with what happened because during my last check-up last November he had a hard time deciding whether to recommend repair of my heart valve. During my check-up a few days ago he said my heart sounded good and after the 2D echogram he said that I did not have heart failure and he scratched out all the medicines I've been drinking the past four months.
And the most important thing my doctor said was, "Your heart is healthy, if sometime in the future you are not doing anything or bored then maybe you can have your heart repaired. There is no absolute time that you need to do it since there is no guarantee that you will live for 40 years more if you do so." With that the doctor dismissed me and told me to drink as much liquids as I like and that I should not go on a low sodium diet anymore.
Praise the Lord!
Kamay ni Hesus
*healing every Monday and Saturday, 9:00 a.m.