The Secret to Being Happy

Whew! Things are going back to normal. The past few days have been a bit hairy when I had to stop taking blood thinners for the test that was postponed. I'm not sure why I felt unwell. I even had a fever. It must have been caused by stress. I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to be poked for another test. I had prayed really hard that it wouldn't have to be done again. Well it wasn't, but it's going to be rescheduled haha. I think I need to make my prayer request clearer! 

My doctor sent me a nice video this morning. It's the speech of Gaur Gopal about how to increase happiness. To sum it up he said you cannot get away from problems, but you can make your life happier by living a life of thankfulness.

Being grateful is key to being happy. I shared to a friend something I learned from Chade Meng Tan on how you can immediately bring joy back. In the class I attended he shared you can simply be grateful for others. It goes this way... Yesterday, I saw a friend post about a nurse who took care of her family when they got infected by the coronavirus. It was a post to show her appreciation and gratefulness for the help. I immediately felt grateful for the help her family got from the nurse. God really sends guardian angels to help us. 

And that sustained me yesterday through my hospital stay. I was still feeling unwell last night, so I did a gratefulness exercise to feel better. I started by feeling grateful for the nurse who inserted the plot on my hand. When I ripped off the bandage I saw just a small dot from the needle, no bruising (that's rare!). Then I was grateful for the grumpy Gojek drive who still picked us up (he was insisting we put the wrong point lol). And best of all, I was grateful for Sweetie for staying with me the whole day. Sitting on a chair just waiting must've been very painful for him. My feet were still icy cold, but I felt much better when we went to sleep.

I realized that a lot of the life coaches are saying the same thing - be grateful to be happy. 

CB///*Yr2/146 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/169 #NewG301 #Home59 #Xmas112 #StayHome #BeKind

When You Can't Perform...

"When you can't perform...

Japorms!"

This is a quotable quote from my friend Marc Macalua. He said this over ten years ago when we used to play badminton. So basically, if you can't be productive or give your best, just dress up for the occasion. LOL.

And that's what happened to me today. I woke up early for my appointment at the hospital. Sweetie accompanied me and we arrived at the center ahead of schedule. I was promptly checked in and the nurse called me to get my vitals. I had a slight fever. I was ushered to my room and started the long wait.

After two hours one of the doctors came to my room and said I was required to be swabbed. It was my second time to be swabbed so I wasn't freaked out about it anymore. Lucky me, the doctor conducted the swab. It wasn't so bad.

I fell asleep after that and a nurse came in a few hours later to let me know that the swab results was going to take longer than expected. Yikes! By this time I was quite hungry and thirsty already because I was asked to fast after eating breakfast. 

We thought things were going to proceed already because I was asked to change. They also installed the plot on my hand and got some blood. An hour later I was told that they would have to reschedule the test.

And that's how I ended up dressing for the part today. I told Sweetie I want to have a nice sumptuous dinner. Hrhrhr.

CB///*Yr2/145 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/168 #NewG302 #Home60 #Xmas113 #StayHome #BeKind  

Managing Triggers

I haven't been sleeping well again the past few days. I'm scheduled for a test again tomorrow and I'm a bit anxious about it. My doctors have poked me so many times this year, but I never get used to it (and you shouldn't!). Aside from that I've had to deal with other things that set off my PTSD. 

The past year has been a test of patience and resilience. It's something a lot of pulmonary embolism survivors go through. In our patient group there's always someone who asks for help to deal with anxiety. This stems from the feat that you can clot again and you can die from it. I've had two clotting episodes and the second one has been really hard to recover from because the first one is still around! 

To recover from an illness you have to be strong mentally. I only started getting better when I got help. My doctor advised that you need to understand your triggers. You also need to be able to arrest the trigger and purposely pull yourself to another direction. It's not easy to do. I cried the other day because my doctor scolded me for asking too many questions. He apologized after a few minutes, but it already made me feel so bad. 

When the tears started to fall Sweetie asked what was wrong. I told him I got super stressed. In between hiccups I told him I needed milk tea haha. The tears immediately stopped. To be honest I had a hard time sleeping that night because of the incident. I felt better yesterday, but was once again triggered when a friend said I was fat. It took me hours to fall asleep again. I finally did when I thought about my dog Jolly. 

Yesterday's Didache reflection by Bo Sanchez was helpful of putting things in proper perspective. He said instead of battling "demons" think of the incident as God's way. You can think of the triggers as a way to deal with issues or as a way of learning. Now I will always ask myself, "What is God trying to teach me?". This will help me stay away from feeling bad and getting emotional. 

Please pray for me tomorrow as I undergo another test. May God bless the hands of the experts who will poke me again. 

CB///*Yr2/144 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/167 #NewG303 #Home61 #Xmas114 #StayHome #BeKind  

Hello Ber Months, Day 1 of the Christmas Season!

Oh wow it's already the ber months! Today marks the first day of the Christmas season in the Philippines. I wonder if they've started to play holiday songs on the radio and in malls. It wasn't always like this. We used to start celebrating only in November. My Mom would normally set November 30 as the day we set-up the tree since it's a holiday. I don't know when  it was declared that the Christmas season starts when the ber months come. 

I think celebrating Christmas for 100 days is a good idea. It always feels like your daily grind changes, since there's something to look forward to. I remember in my previous jobs we'd start preparing for the Christmas party towards the end of November. I was also usually part of the holiday party committee. It was always a busy time where you try to see all of your friends before the deluge of family reunions. 

I must admit in the past few years I've been so busy. We didn't even set-up a tree in 2019. I made up for it last year and set-up our decorations early. It was a good thing I did because my health went downhill by mid-December. It was really hard for our family to be miles part last year, but we managed. We're all looking forward to be complete this Christmas. Family is everything. 

I haven't really planned what we'll do for Christmas. I expect movement would still be very restricted. We also have to continue following all measures to keep safe. We'll probably just have a nice family meal at home, exchange gifts and I hope I'd be able to send some personally baked cupcakes to family and friends. Let's all hope for a happier and safer Christmas this year!

Merry Christmas!

CB///*Yr2/143 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/166 #NewG304 #Home62 #StayHome #BeKind 

Finally Got This After 40 Years

My parents were very strict about what kinds of toys I had when I was growing up. Titay showered me with Barbie dolls and I got my first Lego set from my Ninang when I was 4 years old. I also got a Cabbage Patch which was the rage back then. Mommy though did not allow me to have ET, Yoda and Alf. Someone gave me an ET figure and it was one of my favorite toys. Mom always cringed whenever she saw it. 

I was never allowed to have gaming devices. We did not have a Family Computer or Atari. I was also in college when I got to try my friend's Family Computer. And I was already working when I learned how to play Pokemon on my PC. I think I managed to wear down my Dad because I remember I had a Game & Watch Mickey Mouse device and a PacMan watch. Those were the only devices I owned. 

What I really wanted to play was Super Mario. Sweetie finally made my dream come true. On my birthday he presented me a huge box. He put me to work unboxing one box after another until I finally got to his gift. It was a Super Mario Bros. Game & Watch. Waaaaaawwwww! It was a super huge surprise for me! 

Of course I immediately started playing the game. I also put it beside me when I went to sleep (just like a kid would haha). I've been using it the past few days and I realized I don't have enough gaming skills! I so far couldn't get past level 1-3! Hahaha. 

Thank you Sweetie for the surprise! I think I'm going to spend more hours on this than my Switch. LOL. Love you <3

CB///*Yr2/142 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/165 #NewG305 #Home63 #StayHome #BeKind 

Breakthrough Coming!

My respiratory doctor told me last week I need to get vaccinated before I go back home. We've been working on my transition the past few months. He's the one who saved my life three years ago when he discovered I had a huge clot in my left lung. He saved my life again when he instinctively tested me and saw I had multiple clots in my left lung. A nurse told me that he said I was a challenging case, but he really took care of me. He's a rockstar doctor. 

The discussion about getting vaccinated started when I asked him if I should get the flu vaccine. He said we'll do it in my next appointment. He then asked me if I've been vaccinated for COVID-19. I said no because my vascular surgeon said it wasn't safe for me. He reassured me it was safe for me and I should definitely get it before I go home. The next day I tracked down my cardiovascular surgeon and vascular surgeon to get clearance. 

My cardiovascular surgeon is in the UK right now, but he kindly responded to my Whatsapp message. He gave clearance for me to get vaccinated. On my birthday, my vascular surgeon, the one who said I shouldn't get vaccinated, also gave his clearance for me to get vaccinated. Yaaaaasssss! That really made my birthday happy since I want my family to be less worried for me. Of course, we still need to take precautions. 

I did some research over the weekend and saw the MOH has some guidelines for those who are medically ineligible. One should check back with your specialist every few months since more research and data become available. I guess my doctors finally gave clearance because there's more data to support that it's safe for me. I'm now trying to find out how I can get vaccinated at a hospital. MOH website stated that if you are immuno-compromised or have health issues you can request to have it done at a hospital. I'm just waiting for my doctor's nurse to respond to my request. 

I'm also happy that Miggy and my Mom got their first dose. They only felt sore for a few days, but have been fine so far. We've had to remind Mom everyday not to do any gardening for the meantime. The rest of my family have been fully vaccinated. Thank you Lord :D

Day 30 Minimalism challenge, Re-purge your wardrobe. This is what I started to do at the beginning of the month. I realized though that I didn't have the space to keep those clothes that I plan to bring back home. As it is our home is currently really messy since we've started to sort things that will be brought home. We stalled sorting for now until we finalize plans with the movers. For my wardrobe I'm thinking what I should do with my winter clothes. I used to use it a lot when I traveled, but I think it's going to take years before I use them again. What about you? What have you done with your wardrobe? 

CB///*Yr2/141 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/164 #NewG306 #Home64 #StayHome #BeKind 

Eggs Benedict, Flowers, Cheese, Lechon and Lots of Love!

I had an amazing birthday. We decided to just stay home since I wouldn't be able to dine anywhere. We also decided not to have visitors since I'm not vaccinated and have to be more careful. Nonetheless, I had a happy birthday even with the restrictions. 

I was overwhelmed with so much love and care from family and friends. I thought it was just going to be a normal day, but I got a lot of surprises from the time I woke up. I did not have to worry about food because it just kept coming! Breakfast from Jac, a cheese platter from Ms. Myna and lechon from Cathy and Mike! The food will last until tomorrow. Our tummies are super happy! 

The day was also made beautiful with lots of flowers! Oh my! I wish I could preserve them since they are all so beautiful! I love flowers because they remind me of my Mom and her beautiful garden. I hope I'll be able to have my own gorgeous garden in the future. Thank you my Westies family for making my day beautiful. Hope to see you soon once I complete the good news I shared with you guys last night!

I spent an hour on the phone with my Mom last night. I always celebrate my birthday with my Mom. The last we were able to do that was in 2019. We spent the whole day out together with Sweetie and Miggy. That was in 2019 and that year me and my Kuya gave her a surprise party for her 85th birthday. I told her that we'll get to celebrate her birthday this year together.

I'm so grateful for all the lovely greetings. I also got surprise video greetings from team QSR and close friends. I teared up when I saw the greetings from my teacher community. I miss all of them and it was a good reminder for me that I did some good in the past 15 years of my life. 

I thank God everyday for the gift of life. After having another PE and getting poked from tests often I thought I wouldn't make it. My Mom reminded me yesterday that she went through the similar issues when she was my age, but she's now 86 and strong. I got my strong will and positive outlook in life from her. So I told Sweetie yesterday, we'll have to go for gold*!

Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I wish I could comment back to each and everyone of you, but I might get blocked again from commenting! I'll have to do it slowly I guess haha. Love you all! Keep fighting!

*Gold - golden anniversary

Day 29 Minimalism challenge, Say no to something. It took me years to learn to say no. I realized though I got into this health mess because I allowed myself to be bullied into doing more than I could. My body and mind battled with each other for many months. They're good with each other now, but I have to be mindful that they continue to agree with each other haha. So no, no, no, no and bullies be gone! 

CB///*Yr2/140 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/163 #NewG307 #Home65 #StayHome #BeKind