Miracle Sundays: Living with CHF

I just recently had a blood test and it's a mess again. Luckily, the med tech who took my blood was a really good one. The test just left a tiny dot on my arm and did not bruise. It's been years since I've encountered a really good med tech. Next time I'll make sure to get my tests done on midnight. Hopefully I'll get him again. 

The result of the test though was disenheartening. I'm anemic and my probnp result is almost x2 from 2021. My cardiologist is yet again very busy and her assistant hasn't confirmed an appointment. Medical care in the Philippines is truly hard. I was down for a few days, but I have to roll with the punches. I have my meds and while waiting to see my doctor I have to be proactive. 

Dealing with medical issues is hard. I've always just managed to brush it off, but the past few years have been really challenging. I almost didn't get back up after the breakdown I had last year. It was the love of my boys and faith that pulled me back. 

Watched this TedX talk by L.T. Kirk the other day and it was a good reminder for me that it's up to me to live. If I don't fight then I could easily be in perile. L.T. Kirk mentioned in his talk that he can enjoy one good day, but it would be followed by several bad days. That is the life of a person with congestive heart failure. 

I've had CHF since 2008. It was the result of having pneumonia. My doctors in SG managed it really well and I was able to live normally even after heart surgery. It's been harder now because it's now paired with CTEPH* and other stuff. I've learned to live with it and have been a bit more functional now. There are good days and bad days, but that's okay since I still get to create new happy memories with my boys. 

Here's what I learned through the years of dealing with my illnesses:

• Acceptance is key. The Nile is not just a river in Egypt.*
• Aim to be better at least 1% than yesterday 
• Big hairy goals or moonshot goals are for work, just make bite sized targets
• Celebrate all achievements whether they're big or small. Reward yourself. 
• Live for your family. 
• Remember, Jesus loves you. Pray. 

One thing that struck me from what L.T. Kirk said was you have to live based on your new reality. Stop aiming for what used to be because it will just frustrate you. It took me a long time to understand and accept that I can't do what I used to do. I'm grateful I have my boys and friends who have been taking care of me.  

*Denial

**CTEPH - Chronic thromboembolic pulmonary hypertension