The Night My Guardian Angel Saved Me

I got home a bit late after my grad school graduation. It was one of the rare times I drove and as Miggy and I entered our village it started to rain hard. It was dark and I couldn't see our garage entrance properly. I was afraid I might make a mistake at parking, so I parked across the street. I planned to move the car in the morning. 

Miggy and I hurriedly went inside the house. Even with an umbrella we were both drenched. We showered and went to bed since we were tired from the festivities. The next morning I was woken up to move the car. I grudgingly got up, changed and got the car keys.

The skies were clear that morning and I walked quickly to the car to finish the chore. As I got nearer I saw something brown pinned by the wheel. I thought it was just debris from the thunderstorm. I was shocked when I got nearer and saw that it was a snake with a brown and white pattern. It was big as a male adult's arm. It was pinned by the wheel and it wasn't able to free itself.

I had no idea because it was very dark and you can barely see when we stepped out of the car because of the heavy rain. If it wasn't caught under the wheel I would probably have stepped on it. I never found out what kind of snake it was and I'm glad the only encounters I've had of snakes are at zoos or photos. My guardian angel saved me that night and I just prayed that I did not encounter it up close.

This photo was taken in 2010 in Singapore. It looked liked this snake.

I always pray for my family's safety and protection every night. There's danger all around and the best we  can do is have faith that we are always protected. Whenever I feel scared I say a quick prayer for protection and I know my guardian angel is always around. 

Have a blessed Sunday y'all!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Childlike

"I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn't receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it." - Mark 10:15

For a long time before I met Jay, I was nicknamed the ice queen. I did not entertain suitors and kept a small circle. I focused on Miggy, work and my community. It took years for me to heal. It wasn't a smooth road since when I was finally ready I kept meeting the wrong guys. Ugh. 

I was telling a friend the other day to just let go and love fully. When I got fed up with meeting the wrong kind of men, I just gave up and prayed for God to navigate my life. He must've heard me pleading so bad, He answered in less than 24 hours. 

Sweetie asked if he could court me. I immediately said yes. I felt it was His Will. He was writing our love story from the moment we met. It was a good thing I took time to heal. I was ready by the time I met Sweetie and we became friends first. I went into our relationship like it was my first time. 

I abandoned the baggages I had from previous traumatic relationships because I trusted God would navigate me to the right one. I know it's hard to move on and not be scared that bad things could happen again. That's why you have to remember that God is always there for you. You are His child and He will always take care of you. Let go and let love and believe God is guiding you. 

Happy Sunday everyone!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Miracle Sundays: The True Healer

A friend shared an article this morning about a parent who lost her child. The writer said she was regretful about giving all her confidence to the hospital. She thought they would make her child well. A mistake happened though and it eventually led to the death of her child. You can read the whole article here.

I've had a lot of realization of caring for your health. I've been in and out of the hospital the past 5 years. It started with several ER trips. I was eventually managed with asthma meds, but it only gave temporary relief. I had several more episodes where I was told it was only asthma due to GERD. I pushed hard to get a second opinion. The doctor said it was just going to be a waste of time. 

I got lucky because the doctor was relentless at figuring out what was wrong with me. He was trained in Cleveland Clinic and knew what kind of tests I needed. After several tests I was diagnosed with a large blood clot in my lungs. If I waited longer I wouldn't have made it. My other doctors were very surprised over the diagnosis and reviewed the tests. I even had the results also reviewed by a third party reviewer. The reviews concluded the same issue. 

At St. Peter's Square (2018). This was days after I was diagnosed with PE.

I was managed well, until eventually stress wore me down. Went through a series of tests again and then I eventually developed clots again. Several specialists looked at me and made me go through a lot of tests. They were not able to figure out exactly what was causing the clots and eventually just patted me on the back and told me not to go through any procedure because it will be too risky for me. It basically meant, there's no earthly thing they can do to bring me back to what I used to be. 

I've made peace with that a long time ago. There's still so much that science cannot explain about our bodies. They almost lost me also during heart surgery. It never crossed my mind they would. They only told me this before I went home last year. I've had a lot of medical episodes, but I always believe that we live because of His Will. Just accept whatever you go through as your cross and pray. 

I realized that in the wee hours of this morning. I couldn't sleep again because of the challenging past week. I kept asking Papa God, "What's up with the many challenges?" And I realized He was doing corrective measures to keep me on my feet and to answer a prayer. I woke up lightheaded this morning with a low pulse rate and erratic oxygen saturation. I honestly wanted to stay in bed, but remembered what I realized before I finally fell asleep. 

Just keep going and praying and all will be well.

Happy Sunday everyone!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Miracle Sundays: Suffering with Joy

“It is suffering, more than anything else, which clears the way for the grace which transforms human souls. Suffering, more than anything else, makes present . . . the force of Redemption.”

- St. Pope John Paul II

When I was a child my Mom would always tell me to lift all my pain to Jesus. Back then I just had toothaches and tonsilitis. Mom said the same thing to me when I was experiencing a lot of pain after heart surgery. I'd drink the meds and then I lift all the pain to Him. I guess that's how I managed to carry the cross. 

I have good days and I have a bad day. Today has so far been a bad day. Few minutes after waking up I had a migraine. Got a bit better, then an hour after I started feeling dizzy. I still am while writing this post. Sweetie would have forced me to lie down if he knew I was still dizzy. This happens often I know already when I should lie down. I feel I can still fight it so I'm staying up (in fact I watered my plants even before settling down to blog). 

This is my new normal and I have accepted it. If I focused so much on suffering I'd probably be very miserable. I know though I'm where I should be. I slow down and rest when needed. Do what I could when I can. I'm just grateful whenever I could exert a bit more effort. 

And looking back at what has transpired the past four weeks, it was a blessing in disguise that we postponed our family vacation. Sweetie and Miggy had the flu and a waterspout appeared near the resort we booked. That would have given me a huge fright if we were there. Well, postponing our trip also meant I had enough time to recover from heart failure. 

I was really looking forward to our family trip. The last one was in 2019 and I've really wanted to go to the beach. I was anxious about a few things: (1) Surviving the walk in the airport since we didn't book a wheelchair, (2) The question whether I'd be able to last an hour under the sun when swimming, (3) Random asthma attacks since I was doing oxygen therapy at night. 

Well, a miracle happened. By God's grace we were able to enjoy our family vacation without any major mishaps. The weather was beautiful the entire week. I was able to swim at the beach twice and I was able to try paddleboarding (just sitting, I didn't attempt to stand), I held a rabbit (don't tell my doc!), and we were able to meet a friend in person (the stairs to her showroom almost did me in though haha). The boys were always there ready to assist me. It was truly a beautiful week.

 

Always find joy in everything. It is hard especially when you're in pain or not feeling well, but I believe if you focus so much on the pain then you'd suffer more. Be grateful and have faith. He will take care of the rest. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Sunday is for Miracles

Getting takeaway.

I was honestly planning to stop blogging daily. I just didn't feel inspired and felt things were going nowhere. My doctors made me promise though to keep my brain working, that's why I blog everyday. I knew if I gave up daily blogging I would definitely deteriorate fast. I introduced daily blog themes to keep me going and to avoid focusing too much on things that don't inspire. So Sundays are for miracles!

The Miracle of Life

I have been through many nerve-wracking health episodes. I am grateful that I've always pulled through them. My doctors are actually amazed how I have survived two OHS and two PEs. They were so shocked when I climbed the Borobudur Temple a few months after surgery.

I clung on to my faith and the love of my family after surgery. I remember I kept playing my church songs playlist on my iPod nonstop. It did eventually drive my family crazy, but tbh I had no grasp of what was going on during that time. I was probably dazed from the anesthesia and medication being pumped into me. I think though it was all the prayers being said for me that really helped pull me through. 

I oftentimes stop myself from asking "Why?" I just remind myself to trust and follow God's plans for me. What I have been through health-wise is not for the faint-hearted. Aside from physical issues, it has also affected me mentally. It's not been easy for me and my family. 

This is my cross and I carry it with faith and love. There are good days and there are bad days for me. When it's a bad day I rest, when it's a good day then I can be a bit more active. It's alright, I'm just happy I'm able to spend time with my family everyday. 

Be grateful for the cross that you carry. Remember, God only gives you challenges that you can bear.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*OHS - open heart surgeries

PE - pulmonary embolisms

Mysteries, Miracles

One of the causes of anxiety is a perception that you do not have control over something. The best way to get a hold of feeling anxious is to manage how you perceive things. Kuya told me to look up when you're starting to feel anxious. It works because when you look up what you see immediately changes. That prevents you from falling into the ugly black hole. 

Dr. Joe Dispenza, on the other hand, says that we keep going back to these negative feelings because it becomes an addiction. An example is when you keep going back to a toxic relationship even though you already know it's bad for you. Or when you keep accepting too much work, but you still feel good even if it's affecting your health. That's why Dr. Joe wrote the book, "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself". 

I know I've fallen in the trap so many times throughout my life. I think the hardest thing to learn is letting go. Getting your grip off something you're so used to doing is hard. Trying to solve a mystery that doesn't have an answer can make you go gaga. There are things in life that you cannot control and best left as a mystery. 

I actually said that to the doctor the other day when he was briefing me before the procedure. He asked me what caused my PEs. I told him I got poked some many times already by different doctors. They couldn't explain clearly the cause of my clots. I don't worry about it now because I think mysteries can be disguised as miracles. 

Back in 2008 to 2009, the results of my blood test showed that the the tumor marker CA125 reached 5x normal level. It was so bad the medtech at Makati Med said she was so sorry for the results. My doctor did more tests, but did not find anything. After a visit to Kamay ni Hesus, the tumor marker went down to normal in a span of six months. My doctor couldn't explain why and said that he wished all his patients were like me. To me it was a miracle. 

So don't stress, the mysteries or the things in your life you cannot be control may be a miracle in disguise. Just leave it up to God to solve <3

CB///*Yr2/153 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/176 #NewG294 #Home52 #Xmas105 #StayHome #BeKind