Miracle Sundays: The True Healer

A friend shared an article this morning about a parent who lost her child. The writer said she was regretful about giving all her confidence to the hospital. She thought they would make her child well. A mistake happened though and it eventually led to the death of her child. You can read the whole article here.

I've had a lot of realization of caring for your health. I've been in and out of the hospital the past 5 years. It started with several ER trips. I was eventually managed with asthma meds, but it only gave temporary relief. I had several more episodes where I was told it was only asthma due to GERD. I pushed hard to get a second opinion. The doctor said it was just going to be a waste of time. 

I got lucky because the doctor was relentless at figuring out what was wrong with me. He was trained in Cleveland Clinic and knew what kind of tests I needed. After several tests I was diagnosed with a large blood clot in my lungs. If I waited longer I wouldn't have made it. My other doctors were very surprised over the diagnosis and reviewed the tests. I even had the results also reviewed by a third party reviewer. The reviews concluded the same issue. 

At St. Peter's Square (2018). This was days after I was diagnosed with PE.

I was managed well, until eventually stress wore me down. Went through a series of tests again and then I eventually developed clots again. Several specialists looked at me and made me go through a lot of tests. They were not able to figure out exactly what was causing the clots and eventually just patted me on the back and told me not to go through any procedure because it will be too risky for me. It basically meant, there's no earthly thing they can do to bring me back to what I used to be. 

I've made peace with that a long time ago. There's still so much that science cannot explain about our bodies. They almost lost me also during heart surgery. It never crossed my mind they would. They only told me this before I went home last year. I've had a lot of medical episodes, but I always believe that we live because of His Will. Just accept whatever you go through as your cross and pray. 

I realized that in the wee hours of this morning. I couldn't sleep again because of the challenging past week. I kept asking Papa God, "What's up with the many challenges?" And I realized He was doing corrective measures to keep me on my feet and to answer a prayer. I woke up lightheaded this morning with a low pulse rate and erratic oxygen saturation. I honestly wanted to stay in bed, but remembered what I realized before I finally fell asleep. 

Just keep going and praying and all will be well.

Happy Sunday everyone!

#BeKind #StaySafe

The Logic of Peace

Before going to sleep last night, I came across a tweet by Pope Francis. He said, 

That led me to read about Cain and Abel to understand better what he meant. I know Pope Francis tweeted it in the context of what is happening in Ukraine. The tweet spoke to me. I realized there's a lot to learn from his message. 

I cried buckets when I saw Pope Francis in Rome! I felt the same love surround me when I saw Pope John Paul II on World Youth Day 1995.

They say hurt people, hurt people. That is true and that's what we all do whenever we are hurt. I see this a lot everyday on social media. It's election time and it's gotten easy for people to throw mud to each other. I have been trying my best not to react anymore since it's not going to help anyway. It also brings a lot of stress and I've seen many friends quit social media because it's affected their mental health. 

Pope Francis made me realize that the source of my stress is from thinking like Cain. You cannot douse fire with more fire. The way to kill a fire is with water, thus you must deal with it by acting in peace. And if you continue to do war or lead with that mindset, then you can end up like Cain wandering in the desert waiting to be killed. 

I'm grateful for this tweet by Pope Francis because it helped me understand an issue that's been plaguing me for decades now. I realized that there are things you can never get back. The best way is to let it go and let it remain a memory. 

Let go. Let love. Be at peace. 

P.S. I'm feeling much better now after experiencing the effects of the booster shot. I still need to regain my strength and stamina. Hope to be back to normal in a few days.

#BeKind #StaySafe #VoteWisely

The Surprise that Made Me Cry

Just before midnight last Friday I received a notification. It was a shared file from my friend, Cathy. I opened it and the file's name was "Thank you and farewell Aileen Apolo". I immediately cancelled opening the file because I knew it would make me cry, haha. I participated in many of those farewell docs previously and knew it was messages from people I worked with in the past 15 years. I did not want to cry as new year rolled in!

I finally opened the file again after breakfast yesterday. I told Sweetie about the surprise and he said he was conspiring with Cathy for a few months now. And oh wow, they found people I worked with since 2006. Soon enough I was teary eyed while reading the messages. 

I left my post quietly and without fanfare. I even declined having lunch with my manager for safety reasons. I only had a brief hangout with my team so I could say a proper goodbye. Reading through the messages of my friends made me realize that I did something good in the past 15 years. They recognized the hardwork and love I put in all the programs I managed. 

Yesterday's Didache reflection was on remembering who you are. The lugaw inside is more important than the bowl (what people see outside)*. And that's why I'm so grateful for the messages of my friends. They saw through my output and recognized the hardwork and love I put in everything I did. In the one year I wasn't able to contribute I felt inadequate. My former manager said, "A chunk of Google's soul leaves Google with you!" The messages gave me the closure I needed. I am at peace now.

2006 with my scout brothers Colombia, Pakistan and Malaysia.

With the Outreach team 5 continents.

Thank you Cathy, Habs, Myra, Mark, JohnnyB, Jek, Miami, Ruth, Karen, Sebastian, Sami, Nopparat, Ria, Jolly, Marcus, Obum, Andre, Mavila, JP, Iris, David, William, Sophie, Victor, Suan, Yoshi, Prissilia, Mani, Jose, Lih Shiun, Anish, Tim, Nica, Sajith, James, Nikka, Rachel, Christine, Nette, James, Nap, Jim, Cherry, Dette, and Jana. Truly appreciate your messages <3 

As Bo Sanchez said in the Didache foreword, "Because if you want to win in life, here's what you do: don't focus on the pain; focus on the prize!"

#BeKind

*Best to read the reflection here.