Goodbye 2021, Don't Follow Me to 2022

If you ask me I just want to forget about 2021. By all accounts it was a bad year for me. I had another pulmonary embolism and that threw everything off-course. It was a very challenging year for me health-wise and all my doctors tell me I am blessed to be alive. 

After all the struggles - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually - I now look at 2021 as the year of transformation and transition. I have accepted the fact that my body cannot do what I loved doing. I lived in a fog for five months. The only thing I was able to do from my 2021 goal list was work on my hobby and blog everyday. My doctor knew what I was going through and made me promise to fight deterioration. That's the reason why I blog everyday (keeps `em coconut working). 

Aside from the physical struggles I went through, the most painful decision I had to make was to leave Google. It was my life for 15 years. I always knew that my journey would end someday so I had no issues letting go. It was just really sad that I left because I was sick and when I was really needed. I transitioned my team in March because I wanted to make sure someone would care for them. No one is indispensable after all, so I knew they would thrive even without me. The 15 years I spent at Google was truly enriching to me as a person and I'm alive today because of the support I got from them. 

I am most grateful to my doctors and all the healthcare workers who took care of me. I was warded thrice and had to do weekly check-ups across three hospitals. It was truly a blessing that I wasn't allowed by my company to leave earlier because I was able to clear up other health issues and finally get vaccinated (it was a long discussion across my doctors). I haven't seen a doctor since I got home and that's an achievement! 

The best thing that happened to me this year is transitioning back home. Moving countries is physically draining and we made it more challenging by also moving to a new home. We made it though! We have been organizing our home for a month now and it's far from finished. What's important for us is we're together and we're able to care for our parents too. 

Goodbye 2021, it was a very interesting year. I know that God made it that way because I was overdue to move onto other things. I know for now I need to just focus on my family to create a loving home where we can make more happy memories. 

May all of us have a happy and blessed new year! Stay safe everyone!

#Home58 #NewG188 #StayHome #BeKind  

March is Blood Clot Awareness Month

The most common causes of clotting are: deep vein thrombosis (DVT), use of birth control pills, blood disorders, your genes, long airplane rides, smoking, too much sitting, obesity, COVID19, being immobile etc.*. If the clot breaks away it can cause pulmonary embolism (PE). The symptoms of this illness is similar to many other diseases. There may be shortness of breath, chest pain, fast heartbeat, lightheadedness and many others. 

I suffered for more than 7 months before I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism. My original respiratory doctor thought it was just severe asthma. The huge clot in my lungs was found when I went for a second opinion. That was my first PE. Last January my doctor followed his gut and had me tested. They found a couple of clots in my left lung. The second bout of PE hit me harder even though the clots were smaller. My doctors do not know the cause of my clots. 

The newest addition to the causes of clotting is COVID19. The coronavirus increases the ability of your blood to clot (source). There are two things that could help avoid clotting: keep on moving and drink lots of water. I haven't been able to do my evening walks the last few weeks so I try to walk around at home. I sometimes wear compression socks too. 

Acute pulmonary embolism has a mortality rate of up to 30%. Your best advocate is yourself. I had to insist on the second opinion because the GP I went to just brushed off my complaints. If took a few more weeks before I saw my new (current) respiratory doctor. He has seen me through two PEs and is guiding me through my recovery. 

People who have PE need a lot of support.There are a lot of bad days when you can barely do anything. There are also nights when you can't sleep. With love, faith and hardwork we can get better. Sometimes it just takes awhile. 

"The more you worry, the more you hurry to the cemetery." - Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD. So don't worry and keep the faith. 

CB///337 #StuckAtHomeDay/368 #StayHome #BeKind   

*Fuller list of causes are available here.

Happy Heart

I went to see my doctor bright and early today since I want to get my issues sorted out asap. We did a blood test and xray and he said it's my sinuses that are acting up. It's probably because the air quality has been slightly bad the past week. He couldn't explain though why I've been nauseous and will review me again in a few days. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have the energy to finally scan all the tests I've done since January so I can send it to my cardiologist. 

Super kawaii mug from Ralph <3

While I was at the hospital my phone rang and it was for the door at home. I thought it was delivery for something I ordered online, but Sweetie called and asked if I knew the person who was sending a Toastbox snack bundle. A friend had just messaged me that he was sending me some snacks for good vibes. Awww, really, really appreciate it my friend and I hope to be well soon so we can start our TB Singapore tour! 

Just rested after I got home and fell asleep while trying to watch "The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel". I slept through two episodes and only got to watch the last few minutes of the second episode. I woke up because Sweetie had finished work and went out of the room. Oh well, at least I got a good nap, my doctor did say I should rest more. 

My heart is happy even though I wasn't feeling well all day. Thank you my friends <3

CB///315 #StuckAtHomeDay/344 #StayHome #BeKind 

The Beauty of Resting

Sleep score finally reached 88 when I checked my Fitbit this morning. I did not sleep well all week and that's probably why I've been feeling exhausted. It got worse after I ventured out alone for the first time for my doctor appointment. I realized walking outside on a regular day versus doing evening walks at the park is so different. 

So today even with good sleep I rested most of the day and took a nap too. I really can't rush my body to recover. It has it's own good timing and the best I can do is eat well, sleep properly and do the right exercise. Normally the only rest I do is when I sleep at night. I'm usually doing something the whole day. Mom would always say I'm like a kiti-kiti*. 

I remember when I was a child I didn't like sleeping in the afternoons. I absolutely abhorred it. They either had to bribe me or threaten me before I'd go to bed. Usually I'd just lay there, but never really fall asleep. The only time I learned to nap in the afternoon was after watching ASAP and I was already working then. I now nap, but only when I literally conk out on the couch haha. 

It would be really great if I could recover somewhere where there is a hammock. Mom used to have a duyan in her garden and it was my favorite place. That's the place I go back to in my mind whenever I meditate. It's the place where I can just be calm and rest. Well since that's farfetched for now now, I'll just have to make do with our couch at home. 

Have a blessed Sunday everyone!

CB///304 #StuckAtHomeDay/334 #StayHome #BeKind