Metanoia

Started the day really late. I wasn't feeling well when I went to bed last night. Unfortunately I inhaled some fumes that found its way in my craft room. I decided to sleep in so I could rest more. I chanced upon the word "metanoia" in today's Didache reflection. It means, "to change your mind" or "change direction". 

At this point, I'm not really changing anything major. I'm focusing on changing how I look at certain things. One thing I did this week was to change how I look at my garden failures. I was really sad when my lettuce seedlings did not make it. I've been delaying sowing new seeds because... I'm procrastinating. 

So last Friday I worked on looking at what I'm successful with in my garden. That's what I was supposed to blog about yesterday, but the cats almost ruined my ornamental plants. Mom's aglaonema which I repotted are doing very well and has grown a lot. 

The calathea I bought from a neighbor a year ago is now so big! It also grew a new leaf! 

The gumamela plants are also starting to bloom again. Yay! 

The philodendron I re-potted a few weeks ago has been growing new leaves :)

I didn't get to appreciate my ornamental plants yesterday since two cats fought and uprooted my pothos and almost cut a rubber plant in two. I ended up fixing the plants yesterday and hope they'll recover. This morning though, Sweetie caught the orange intruder cat lying on the newly planted pothos! Argh! I fortified it with bamboo so the cat won't be able to sit on the plants.  

Gardening takes so much effort and any progress has to be appreciated. I told myself that's one of the changes I want to do for myself. Instead of beating myself over failures, I should celebrate whatever success I gain. And you should too :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

Live Within Your Means

I was a teenager when my Kuya taught me this valuable lesson. He sat me down one day and told me to always weigh in whether a purchase is a need or a want. That was a good guide to live within your means.

 

Since then I learned to be cautious about making purchases, especially large ones. I purchased devices through installments and made sure to pay the bill on time. When I buy gadgets I make sure they would last a long time and I only replace them when they don't work anymore or are worn out. It also takes me a long time to decide whether to buy an item. 

I've wanted to purchase a second sewing machine for more than a year now. I have researched and canvassed what I want to buy. I have not bought it because there's so far no need (and space for it). I dilly dallied over buying a sewing machine for over two years, Sweetie bought it for me, haha. Well, it's still working, so I really have no reason to buy a new one. 

I think what also helped me was growing up with a Mom who lives simply. She only had branded bags because Titay would give it to her as a gift. Mom also rarely wore make-up and also usually got her supply from Titay, haha. My grad school professor explained it's a matter of putting it in proper perspective. Are you buying a car to get from point A to point B? Or are you buying a car to show off? 

Followed Kuya's advise and even when I moved to Singapore, I lived like I was still in Manila. I did that because I wanted to buy our own place. Looking back, I may have gone extreme because I was so cautious at spending. Good thing Kuya taught me another way to manage my money and since then I've been able to enjoy the fruits of my labor more. All the years of hardwork culminated in purchasing our dream home. 

One thing I learned in the last few months is to make sure you are surrounded with people you can really trust. We all worked hard and thought we were secure in the knowledge that we are able to take care of Mom. None of us touched the money our parents gave us because we allotted it to take care of her. What we did not know was someone else was spending it for their own lavish lifestyle. Envy, after all, is the root of evil.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Turn Envy to Admiration

A friend told me yesterday's post was biting haha. I wrote it at 2:30 in the morning. Sometimes it's hard to express what I want to say when I get distracted. Oh dear muse, you kept me up again.

I think my last thought last night was the idea of turning envy into something positive. It could be better used if you instead use it as inspiration. Don't try to live the life of another person because God has a different path for you. If you let envy lead your life, you won't be content. And you'll never be satisfied with anything. 

I watched the debate last night and saw how others looked at my chosen candidate with envy. They made shots at her, but she stood tall because she knows what she has to offer. Admire and learn. Understand that you have your own talents and gifts and grow more by learning from others. If I was a candidate not getting any large support, I'd just go and support what would be best for the citizens. 

I remember my Mom teaching me that lesson about managing envy. I was in first grade and I had a nice stationary collection. I brought it to school to show my friends. It got stolen! I cried and cried, but my Mom talked to me and explained why it was stolen. I also learned the value of not flaunting what you have. Just keep it simple and classy. 

That incident when I was a first grader taught me so many things. I just remembered it since I've been trying to understand why.it happened.

Admire and be inspired. Don't be an inggiterang frog! LOL.

PS for the candidates who were so green with envy, give credit where it is due. Accept that there are times the best man for the job IS a woman! And that goes to all those people who mansplained me in the past. Che!

#BeKind #StaySafe #VoteWisely

The Lesson from the Wasp

Today while conducting a webinar an insect started buzzing around me. For some strange reason it kept landing on top of my Chromebook. I thought it was a bee so I would just gently blow on it to shoo it away. I've been bitten by a bee a few times when I was a child. The bite is really painful. 

Because the insect was hanging out so close to me I was able to snap a photo of it. I sent the photo to my seatmate and he said it might be a hornet. Google Lens suggested it was a wasp. Eeeeep! My seatmate suggested I should kill it, but I said they pollinate my tomatoes. Normally they head towards the door to the balcony so I just waited. 

Four hours passed and the wasp was still there buzzing around me. It eventually started coming towards me and I read that if a wasp bites you 30-40 times it can get dangerous. So I went into action and captured it with a bag. I thought maybe it would suffocate, but I realized it might get out and bite me since it's already threatened. I had to do what I didn't want to do. RIP wasp. 

I learned a lesson from this pest today. If there's a threat nearby, don't wait for it to come bite you. Sometimes you need to take immediate action before the threat can bring you down. 

What's it with insects this week? Haha.

Happy weekend everyone. 

PS On another photo Google Lens said it might be a hoverfly. Whatever insect it might me I don't want it to bite me!

#CB//205 #StuckAtHomeDay/235 #WFH140 #StayHome #BeKind

The Secret to Fast-Tracking to a Better Life

I read this on Didache last night, "Don't shun the guidance of your elders. Why commit their mistakes when they can teach you a shortcut?*" I thought more about it before I fell asleep and remembered those days after I graduated when my Dad gave me a boatload of advise. I was then young and stubborn and wanted to do things my way. He let me be, but what followed was many years of trial and error and a lot of mishaps and misdemeanors. 

This was taken at the airport in Jakarta. Our flight was super delayed.

Dad regaled the apos with his childhood stories.

It was on September 27, 2007 when things started going the right way for me. That was the day I was on my way home from the US. I sent a plea to Papa God to navigate my life. Through the years I would remember those nuggets of wisdom my parents shared to me. Here's a few of them:

(1) Hardwork pays off. Work hard for what you want. 

(2) Don't show off.  Your efforts will be recognized by itself. 

(3) Find someone who has the same values as you. 

(4) Speak up when there is wrong-doing. 

(5) Do the best you can for your mission. Do this to serve God. 

(6) Don't be a corporate slave (sorry Dad, I still am).

(7) Keep your hands busy. 

(8) Believe in yourself and have faith. 

(9) Nothing is impossible with God.

(10) Always pray. 

Those are just a few of the lessons my parents have taught me. The most important part of it is letting Papa God navigate my life. When I'm in a bind now I always ask myself, "What would Daddy/Mommy do?" 

What about you? Where you always obedient to your parents? Did you always listen to their advise? Or where you like me, stubborn? 

CB//173 #StuckAtHomeDay/203 #StayHome #BeKind 

*Reflection written by Rissa Singson Kawpeng, September 25, Didache

The Value of Being Kind and Courteous

I've made a lot of mistakes. I learned a lot about being a good leader when I was in college. Back then I thought that when you're a leader you just tell people what to do. I expected people would just follow what I say they should do. That scared people and in the long run I also hurt friends. Coupled with that I was scared too because I was put in a position I didn't feel I was ready for. It was a disaster for me.

It took years for me to learn that being a boss is different from being a leader. I started to change slowly when I had a terror boss. Monday mornings were always tense because that was the day the leads would meet and we could hear him scolding people throughout the meeting. This was the norm throughout the week. My seat was unfortunately right outside of his room. The walls were made of glass so if there was any screaming happening I'd hear it. I told myself I didn't want to be like that.

I was eventually transferred to the mother company. I breathed a sigh of relief because my new manager was really kind and nurturing. I craved though for the challenges my former boss always gave me. I eventually learned to ignore his tantrums and used it as a learning experience. It still left me scarred, so I made sure that I would take care of my team who moved with me to the mother company.

My team though got split in two. Some got moved to another supervisor. She was very traditional. My former staff would come to me crying. I fought back by writing icy emails. I was angry and wanted to protect my team. My boss then though nipped it at the bud and taught me the value of using kindness and courteousness to fight back. She said that it would be more effective than sending angry emails. Funny though, she made my former boss in the other company look like a kitten next to her. So I resolved never to be like her too.

I took that lesson to heart and I practice it everyday. The past two weeks though I encountered someone who was just like me in my 20s. She made me feel like I'm a fresh grad who know nothing. She's brilliant and all, but I guess she needs coaching in being a leader and communications. Instead of striking back I just sat back, processed it and remembered the journey I've been through. I'm not perfect, but I think being kind and courteous has helped me build better relationships at work.

The Top 10 Things I Learned in the Last 3 Decades

A few weeks from now I will be leveling up to the next decade of my life. One of my Kuya's told me when I sent my birthday invite was, "How time flies!" Indeed time flies so fast since I met him when I still an undergraduate student.

A few years from now I'll probably be having a mid-life crisis, or I may have gone through it early this year. I remember going through quarter life crisis quite early as well. A few years back I read a question in a magazine, it said, "If you were to relive your life, would you rather go back to your 20s or 30s?" My 20s was quite turbulent and things just stabilized in my 30s, so I'd much rather relive my 30s than my 20s.

Here are ten things I learned along the way:

1. Be content - the more you want, the more you get frustrated. Be happy with what you have.

2. Unload those baggage of expectations - if you do things with loads of expectations, more often than not there would be things that would not meet your satisfaction and you'll just be frustrated. See #1.

3. Save - and live within your means. Rainy days are sure to come.

4. Be realistic - you will never get everything you want. Manage your expectations and plan ahead (remember the 5Ps of preparation!).

5. Be flexible - I had to adjust to a lot of situations, primarily my health. There's a lot I want to do, but I can't anymore because of my condition. I've found ways to channel my energy to something I can do.

6. Listen - a lot of misunderstandings happen because you don't listen.

7. Love like there's no tomorrow - #there'sforever

8. There will be bumps in the road - life is not perfect and there will always be bumps in the road. Just take a deep breath and meditate and don't hesitate to ask for advise/help if needed.

9. Always pray - and meditate.

10. Enjoy - you live only once, so enjoy as much as you can too. 

Mentors

"At each point of your life you should have a mentor." 

That's one of the most important things I learned from Dr. Ned Roberto when I was his student for market research. He explained to me that to continue learning one must continue learning and you also have to learn from those who are already successful. You don't actually need to tell the person that he/she is your mentor. All you need to do is to be very observant and pick up important skills, knowledge and behavior from your mentor.

I've been following this advise ever since Lolo Ned mentioned it to me and it has helped me to learn more and improve myself. Back when I was still working for a local company I oftentimes observed my superiors. I was lucky to have had the chance to be exposed to executives (president, VPs etc.) and I picked up a lot from observing how they worked, how they thought about things, how they communicated, how they handled people etc. It certainly helped a lot because I learned how to work well with higher management and I learned how to get my projects approved easily! Haha.

Now I am still doing the same thing. I guess I'm lucky to get a wider reach now, so I actually have more mentors! My Dad's college seatmate (he's now the Speaker of the House of Representatives) told him when I was just twelve, "You have a very observant daughter" (I kinda told him that it looked like the ceiling of his office might fall down on him anytime hehehe). Eeeep! (I hope I did not embarrass my Dad so much.) Anyway, my being observant has so far helped in the past few years.

A Lesson on Humility

I was quite excited about the long weekend because I was celebrating the tenth anniversary of my 25th birthday. My friends encouraged me to celebrate since there was a lot to be thankful for. I had three separate home parties (that means I cooked!). The first one was planned by my Mom and Tita. It was held at my parents' house and was no different from the childhood birthday parties I had (sans the balloons). I even blew the candles with both my parents beside me (my choice!). The other two was just done at home with some childhood friends and I'm glad they liked my cooking.

One thing though marred my special day. As we were about to leave for my parents' house we heard a car horn honking like mad. The hubby went out to check it out. I wondered why he was taking so long so I went out to investigate who arrived. As I peeked out of the door the guy in the green car (he was the one honking madly) started to scream at me. Apparently he was upset that our guest (who was picking us up) somehow double parked the car (but the road was still passable, I don't drive all that well but I would've managed to get through).

During this time the hubby was moving the car behind another neighbor's vehicle. I apologized to the guy, but he kept on ranting and kept on saying, "I don't f--king care if your guests just arrived and are about to leave! Hindi ganyan mambastos ng kapitbahay, mga bagong salta lang kayo dito!" I just kept apologizing to him continuously, but he was in a rage and I didn't bother explaining that I've lived in the same village since birth. I waited for Jay to come back inside our house and the guy just kept on hurling insults at us. I just said one final apology and closed the door.

What happened hurt and I was shaking until about an hour after. To experience so much rage from someone we don't know was truly a scary experience and I wondered why I had to experience it on my birthday. When we got to my parents' house I immediately relayed to my parents and my Mom's friends what happened. I also told them that I was worried what may happen the next two days since I was expecting guests. My Tita immediately called the village security officer and requested for them to be around our place for the next two days (she's the village association president so it would be a big headache for her if anything else happened). That's what helped me calm down a bit and I soon managed to enjoy the party.

I still wondered though why it happened. The answer came during the homily the next day where our guest priest talked about humility. He said that being humble doesn't only mean not being a show-off. It's not only a test of character when you receive praise. Showing humility in times of trouble. The most powerful word, which should be the last word, during fights is an apology. The totally wrecked my mindset since I was really indignant about the incident. We weren't at fault and I thought he shouldn't have made a mountain about a mole hill. I wanted to find the neighbor. I wanted to talk it out or something just to get the bad feeling off my chest.

It took about 24 hours before the sermon sank in and as the priest said, "Humility is one of the hardest and most painful values to learn. Be thankful when God reminds you about it." It was a painful experience, but I'm glad we just held on and did not fight fire with fire. It would have just probably created a bigger mess. We always wondered as well why our neighbors don't seem to know each other (unlike in the street where I used to live, about 7 streets away). It was truly a painful experience to be berated by someone you don't know. Much less to be scolded by a mistake that isn't yours.

I thought I'd blog about it to get it totally out of my system and to be a reminder of the lesson on humility I received on my birthday.

And here's a song for my neighbor: