Miracle Sundays: Work with All Your Heart

 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” (Colossians 3:23, NIV)

I once saved my allowance to buy my Mom a birthday gift. It was a standee that had the bible verse quoted above. It was shortened version that said, "Do all your work with love" and it had a cartoon drawing of a smiling lady. I don't remember how old I was then, but I remember why I got it for my Mom. I was always being scolded for being messy and thought maybe that would soften her up. 

She kept it in the bathroom and I think it might still be there. I saw it everytime I went to the bathroom and I guess it reminded me to do everything with all my heart. I probably went over and beyond because my heart had to be repaired and the stress ate my lungs too, haha. I gave it my all and really had a hard time letting go. All my doctors were in agreement that the stress from work was eventually going to kill me. 

I eventually found peace when I decided to go. I prayed hard because I was scared. How could I live if I didn't have income? My maintenance medications alone cost a lot monthly and it would be dangerous if I scrimp on it. I didn't want to be a burden to my family, so I prayed harder. I prayed and lifted all my worries to God. Eventually things worked out and I realized that God was redirecting me to be somewhere else. 

I would probably be gone now if I stood my ground and stayed. The stress would have deteriorated me further. Sometimes you just really need to listen hard and let go. It will bring you peace. The past week has been challenging for me. I pushed my body hard so I could take care of my boys. As always, I gave it all my heart and I'm happy I was able to prepare their meals yesterday because it was raining so hard the whole day. 

Thank you Lord for always taking care of us. Happy Sunday everyone!

#BeKind #StaySafe 

Filling the Void, How I Ended My Existential Crisis

Two years ago I experienced a crisis. I've always known that the time would come I would move on and go back to my old life. It came to a point when I considered creating two identities of my social media accounts. I wanted to separate my work and personal posts. It seemed like a good idea and my counselor agreed. Eventually I realized that wasn't the right way to do it. I had to find a way to accept all aspects of myself. 

My friend Marv posted an article from HBR.org, "What Happens When Your Career Becomes Your Whole Identity". The article described exactly the existential crisis I went through. What made it the struggle worse for me is being far away from home. I always felt that I put my life on hold when I moved to another country. 

I super love my work. I thrived in the challenges I faced everyday. I'd like to believe I achieved a lot. I was also conscious about having a good work-life balance. I would usually end work by six or six thirty. The problem was I'd be so spent by then, I just ended up resting at night. I couldn't also completely turn off "work mode" because most of my friends were part of the communities I was managing. 

I only managed to put things in proper perspective when my doctor mandated me to stay offline. It took six weeks before I started to clam down. Another three months before I accepted that my situation has changed. And another couple of months before the existential crisis ended. This is what I had to do -

1. Accept that there are things that you cannot change. 

2. Accept that I was where I supposed to be in the past 10 years. Regret only provides value if you learn from it. 

3. Accept that whatever I did, however I did it is part of who I am and that's how I roll. [I give my all in whatever I do.] 

That is the problem when your career becomes your whole identity. I didn't ask for it. It just happened because I was chosen for the responsibility. I'd like to believe that the relationships that I've established would stay and evolve to a different level. Realistically it will change because I can't provide the same value anymore. 

My contemporaries from 15 years ago have all moved on. They all have led very interesting lives in the past few years. I just wanted to share today that we've decided to go back home. It was not an easy decision to make, but unfortunately the issues have left permanent body damage. My doctors think it will be better for me to recover surrounded by my family. I will focus on transitioning back home in the next few months. 

Day 7 Minimalism Challenge, Write your best qualities. Errr this is so awkward to write about haha. I guess I could say I'm flexible, creative, a planner, and a survivor. That's about what I could think about for now haha. 

CB///*Yr2/118 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/141 #NewG328 #Home86 #StayHome #BeKind 

The Value of Being Kind and Courteous

I've made a lot of mistakes. I learned a lot about being a good leader when I was in college. Back then I thought that when you're a leader you just tell people what to do. I expected people would just follow what I say they should do. That scared people and in the long run I also hurt friends. Coupled with that I was scared too because I was put in a position I didn't feel I was ready for. It was a disaster for me.

It took years for me to learn that being a boss is different from being a leader. I started to change slowly when I had a terror boss. Monday mornings were always tense because that was the day the leads would meet and we could hear him scolding people throughout the meeting. This was the norm throughout the week. My seat was unfortunately right outside of his room. The walls were made of glass so if there was any screaming happening I'd hear it. I told myself I didn't want to be like that.

I was eventually transferred to the mother company. I breathed a sigh of relief because my new manager was really kind and nurturing. I craved though for the challenges my former boss always gave me. I eventually learned to ignore his tantrums and used it as a learning experience. It still left me scarred, so I made sure that I would take care of my team who moved with me to the mother company.

My team though got split in two. Some got moved to another supervisor. She was very traditional. My former staff would come to me crying. I fought back by writing icy emails. I was angry and wanted to protect my team. My boss then though nipped it at the bud and taught me the value of using kindness and courteousness to fight back. She said that it would be more effective than sending angry emails. Funny though, she made my former boss in the other company look like a kitten next to her. So I resolved never to be like her too.

I took that lesson to heart and I practice it everyday. The past two weeks though I encountered someone who was just like me in my 20s. She made me feel like I'm a fresh grad who know nothing. She's brilliant and all, but I guess she needs coaching in being a leader and communications. Instead of striking back I just sat back, processed it and remembered the journey I've been through. I'm not perfect, but I think being kind and courteous has helped me build better relationships at work.