Joker had No Remorse

I always wondered why Gotham City had a very dark setting. The places Batman went to always looked filthy and scary. It was a permanent crime scene. Batman was after all the cape crusader. He battled Joker, the supervillain who has a manic laugh. I've associated that laugh to someone who has no remorse. 

I thought things would be quieter yesterday after the debacle we went through on Sunday. Our neighbor's revelation was an eye opener on what happened in the last two years we were all forced to be away. She judged me for not taking action immediately and allowing things to get worse. 

To be honest, I felt defensive. I told her I've been sick and I had to confirm our suspicions first. Actually, I prioritized getting Mom checked up first before I did some sleuthing. Yesterday while dealing with harassment I realized that we were at fault too. 

My Mom is the type of person who would keep things to herself. She'd absorb all the pain to make sure we, her children, were protected. I suspected what was going on and tried to take over the management of the finances, but she refused. She told me she thought it would have been hard for Miggy. That's how she was taken advantage of. 

As a child, I always thought my Mom would remain the same forever. At the age of 78 she took care of me for 2 months in Singapore after I had heart surgery. She was also still managing my domestic finances until just before the pandemic. My Mom is the strongest person I know and I wanted her to remain the same. She's also very independent and never wanted us to hang around with her. She'd get impatient when I stay on the phone with her for too long (she prefers long calls with her amigas). 

Thinking my Mom would be the same was our downfall. In my mind I thought she was the same person she was when I was growing up. Strong, independed, a great admin. She tried to shield us, but I realized there comes a time when you have to take care of your parents differently. She's still very stubborn because I wanted her to stay in my house while I was fixing her affairs. She refused, as usual. 

And Joker would never have any remorse. Kuya said you can forgive, but justice has to be served. 

#BeKind #StaySafe #VoteWisely

My First Big Girl Moment

I remember the day when I felt I finally grew up. In September 2006 I flew by myself to the US for training. I was so overwhelmed and tried hard not to cry once I stepped out of the airport. It was the farthest I traveled by myself. I've always gone to the US with my family. 

It was evening when I arrived in SFO. It was very cold when I stepped out and everything looked massive. I felt very small and told myself, "This is it. You're a big girl now." I took a deep breath and looked for the van that would take me to Mountain View. 

That was the moment that transformed me to become a big girl. I was still overwhelmed for the rest of the trip. My manager said he was surprised I was very quiet the whole time I was there. It just took me awhile to take everything in. It didn't help that everyone towered over me. Everything looked huge. It's probably what Alice in Wonderland felt when she stumbled into another world. 

I grew in the few weeks we were in the states. I eventually started to blossom. I felt different when I got home. My perspective of the world changed. I was no longer just "the child of" but I had come into my own. It was then that I felt I was finally in-charge of my life. 

Have you experienced a similar transformation?

#BeKind #StaySafe #VoteWisely   

Pruning Hurts

I saw a video the other day of a woman pruning a tall bush in her garden. She had to use a ladder to reach the top and she used an electric trimmer to do the job. What she didn't know was she angered the snake that was living in the bush. The snake bit her hand. She took a step back when she saw the snake and promptly fell off the ladder. Luckily a neighbor heard her cry and rescued her. 

The snake bit her so fast. She felt the pain, but she only reacted when she saw the snake looking at her. I can't help but relate what happened to her to my experience. Sometimes we just go on and on with our life. We miss signals when we're supposed to take another direction. We stubbornly stay in our comfort zone, even when things get harder. 

They always say, look to your left and right before crossing a street. It's also suggested that you use a stick when walking through a forest or cogon land. If the woman looked through the bush or wiggled it with a stick, then maybe the snake would've been alerted and could've ran away before she started trimming. Much like our life, if we assess things often and ask for guidance from Him, then we could avoid being bitten when it's time for pruning. 

I related to the video because I went through a difficult patch earlier this week. While doing a project I had to look back at my painful past. I have moved on from it, but it's something I rarely think about now. Of course this triggered the pain from recent events. I had a hard time sleeping and I had bad dreams. I was only able to calm down after I prayed. I remembered that I have to trust that God is navigating me to the right direction.  

Pruning time hurts, but you can look forward to a more beautiful life to blossom after. 

Photo of me by Ralph Sarmiento. 

Mr. Snake from Singapore Zoo. 

CB///*Yr2/49  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/76 #StayHome #BeKind

Three White Hair

I thought I'd use the title "Three White Hair" today because it's what made me laugh out loud today. I was chatting with my seatmate when he said he was so sad. I asked why and he said he had three new white hair! I burst into laughter because he sounded so serious! I told him he should treat it as wisdom hair. 

White hair = Yoda = wisdom! Yaaaas!

I definitely have more than three white hair. A huge chunk of it came out only this year. I also have multi-colored hair, but I think it's largely due to my health fluctuating. I don't know about other cultures, but it's a belief back home that white hair can be caused by stress. Inuuban na ako dahil sa hirap ng buhay! (My hair is turning white because life is hard!). 

I used to pull out random white strands I would see. Now I'm just leaving them in there to wear as part of my "evolved" self. Much like how Gandalf evolved as Gandalf the Grey to Gandalf the White. As I told my seatmate, treat them as your wisdom hair. 

Brother Bo's video today is a great way to look at obstacles. This year has been full of obstacles for all of us, but it depends on you how you treat those obstacles. Lots to learn from this video, go watch :)

I realized today that there's been so many changes to my body this year. I thought that my body would have a boost this year since it's been 7 years since my heart surgery. It didn't happen and I realized that as you age these are some of the things you can expect. There's no way your body is going to be the same and you have to work harder to keep it in good shape. I'm happy to share that I'm feeling much better compared to a week ago. 

My doctor was right, it takes time for your body to go back to normal after a viral infection. You can't wait around though for your body to miraculously go back to normal, you need to work hard to get back your stamina. I'm so grateful I have the most patient physiotherapist in the whole wide universe. 

Work it, work it :)

#CB//243 #StuckAtHomeDay/273 #WFH161 #StayHome #BeKind

A Letter to My Younger Self

Five years ago I did an introspection about the third decade of my life. I've been thinking of writing my younger self a letter. What really helped me get through those crazy years was looking far ahead. 

Dear 20-something self, 

On Career. I'm writing you today to let you know that you are doing great career-wise! Your hardwork will eventually pay off, just keep being yourself and keep shining. You're on the right track there. Focus on learning from the hardships you're going through. As Dr. Ned advised, always have a mentor in mind and keep evidences of everything. You're going to hit rock-bottom with your self-esteem, but always remember you are the talent. You will bring it anywhere you go. 

On Finances. Going into debt to finish your masters is fine. This is going to leave you in the negative for sometime. Prioritize spending only for essentials (which you did). Just make sure you chip off that tuition debt until you finish it (or until someone helps bail you out). That's why you need to work hard so you can finally start saving. Maybe don't indulge so much buying Miggy toys so he can learn the value of what he has. Don't worry that you're starting too late on saving, you'll eventually figure it out. 

On Love. There's nothing missing in your life. You have your family and Miggy. That's all that matters. Do not be distracted by empty promises. And that guy you've been dating? He's crazy. Listen to your parents when they say that you should find someone who has the same values as you. Good job breaking it off. Pray for God to write you love story and stop the distractions. They will just waste your time. Spend it instead with Miggy. 

On Friendship. Your childhood friends are your forever friends. Keep them close and loved. They will always be there for you. Be wary of those who will just use you for their own purpose. It's better to be selective. The others are just distractions. But remember, it is in friendship where you will find your one true love. Read Bo Sanchez' book "How to Find Your One True Love". It will help put you in the right direction. Enjoy with your friends, don't be too focused on work. 

On Faith. It is only when you put God at the center when things will work out for you. Stop being stubborn and just let Him navigate your life. I promise, things will get so much better and everything you hoped for will finally happen. It was only when I gave up that all the struggles stopped. 

It's been five years since I started four-ever. Things were okay, the last three years has been a struggle health-wise. Be careful of picking up germs and viruses. You'll get over them, but the effects will show up later (which is now for me). Do listen to what your allergologist will tell you, it will help you immensely as you go through those health issues. If you can, maybe eat more veggies (and teach Miggy too). 

Just be yourself, listen to your elders, live your mission and let God navigate your life. Stop obsessing about trivial matters and just be your awesome self. Everything else will follow. 

love, 

Your future self 

#CB//229 #StuckAtHomeDay/259 #WFH153 #StayHome #BeKind