Remembering

It's All Souls Day today. The day to remember our departed loved ones. It's been only two years since I lost my Mom, 14 years since Dad left for heaven. In between that I lost almost all of my titos and titas. 

I buried myself in work when my Dad passed away. I went back to work immediately and told myself he wouldn't want me to dwell on losing him. I didn't have that excuse when Mom passed away. 

I faced grief in silence while facing issues with my health. Mom was my rock. She'd always tell me I can handle any challenge. What helped me was rescuing her plants and sorting through the belongings she left. 

Grief turned into remembering my parents, titos and titas fondly as I went through my Mom's things. It was hard, but I felt my Mom's love as I saw what she kept for me. She even marked some things she wanted me to keep. 

It's not easy being an orphan. I realized though, Mom prepared me all my life to be independent. To be strong and face life with deep faith. I know they are all watching us from above.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Childhood Home Clearing: Done!

After two years, we finally opened the last box of items from my childhood home. I out the kitchen stuff last when we slowly went through all the boxes. I put it last because the boxes were heavy and I had to think about what to do with the many plates and serving dishes Mom left.

We would have finished in July, but I had an accident and my mobility was compromised. We had all the boxes in our living room for more than two months already, so I decided to get help from Ally Canita, our decluttering coach.

For two days last week Ally and her team helped us unbox and sort the leftover items. They matched all the plate sets and segregated the other items (mostly clothes from those who lived in our house). By the end of the second day all the boxes for donation were sent to Goodwill and they found places to keep what I wanted to use.

It's nice to get back out living and dining room. I just need to get it deep cleaned and then we can decorate for Christmas!

#BeKind #StaySafe

How to Clear Your Childhood Home

The biggest project me and my boys worked on the past two years is to clear my and Miggy's childhood home. Oh boy, I honestly did not expect that Mom kept a lot of stuff. Some were from way back in the 60s when I wasn't even born yet. A lot of people lived in our home. I experienced having different sets of relatives who lived with us and they did leave some stuff. 

Our decluttering coach, Ally Canita, observed that my Mom somehow organized her things. She already weeded out her clothes, turned Dad's closet into a craft materials cabinet, and she got rid of a lot of older stuff. She already curated what she left, but probably forgot about the gazillion of things she stored in the upper cabinets. 

We're honestly not done yet and our living room is still full of boxes for sorting. We just transferred everything since work is being done already. Anyway, here's a breakdown on how we managed to clear out my childhood home. 

Step 1. Make a list of all the rooms and take note of what's generally in all the cabinets/closets/drawers etc.

Step 2. Contact a decluttering coach or a organizer company that can help sort and box everything for you. 

Step 3. Prepare a list of categories on how the items should be sorted. Here's roughly what I had listed:

- craft materials

- books

- clothes

- bags

- linens/beddings/curtains/covers

- personal items like jewelry, wallets

- decor/statues/mementos/frame photos/paintings

- papers/documents

- kitchen items and appliances

- gadgets

- furniture (list per room)

Step 4. Buy materials: a lot of used boxes (cheaper than buying brand new balikbayan boxes), sticker paper for labelling boxes, Pentel pens, scissors, packaging tape. 

Step 5. Schedule dates for the decluttering/organizing team to sort and box items by room. It took 8 sessions for our team to work on the house, and another 2 days a year later to complete the outdoor storage and forgotten cabinets. 

Step 6. I made the mistake of sorting craft materials first. It took a lot of time because Mom had a lot of beads scattered around her things! It's better to start with things you can easily send for donations first like books, clothes, bags and linens/beddings. Start there so you can donate them immediately. Do things you'll likely keep last. Sort by having three boxes beside you while you go through everything: dispose, donate, keep. 

*We shred old papers that have PII and no longer needed.

Step 7. Our decluttering coach coordinated all the donations. We probably donated over 150 boxes of books and +100 boxes of other items. Old unusable appliances were sold to the junk shop. We only sold a few working appliances. Proceeds went to paying for donation delivery and decluttering services (last 2 sessions). 

Step 8. Make sure to label things you are keeping in boxes. Some of the things we set aside will be shared with relatives.

Step 9. Identify big items that you will keep, give away, or sell. We're only keeping a few key pieces and have started to offer some furniture to relatives. We managed to sell some furniture that's still useful. 

Step 10. Clean up when you're done! I'm honestly not sure when we'll actually finish! Hopefully, by end of October!

I honestly don't know how we could have managed clearing out our childhood home without Ally and her team. She had previously helped us combine all our homes (SG + Manila) when we went home. Things really pile up and if you have a hard time decluttering, get a coach! It's the best thing we did and I can't imagine how we could have emptied the house.

Be ready for surprises! We thought all the cabinets were already emptied and was so surprised to see my Mama Lola's cabinet still full of stuff! Mom's stuff! So that means I have a box or two of craft materials to sort. I'm still hoping to find my Mama Lola's frog figurine. I used to play with it when I was a child. And we're still finding odd stuff even though we thought everything's been cleared. Just found Dad's K of C sword. I wonder where that was hiding, hehe. It's hopefully the last thing we pull out from the house. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

The Long Goodbye to My Childhood Home

I always knew that the responsibility of taking care of my childhood home would fall on my shoulders. Mom prepared me for it all my life. Growing she'd point out important items and she'd tell me what was valuable.

The journey was long and very hard. My health prevented me from doing things on my own. It took me months after Mom passed before I got things going. Good thing I had the house deep cleaned when Mom was still around. That and pest control bought me a lot of time.

The first step I did was get help from our decluttering coach, Ally Canita. She helped us previously and worked out a plan how to tackle my childhood home. We set general sorting categories and scheduled the project.

It took about ten sessions to finish sorting the contents of the house. Eight were done in late 2023. The last two sessions were done early this year. It's been almost two years since we started and we finally have the last batch of boxes to sort at home now. 

Clearing up your childhood home is not only about sorting things, it is part of the grief journey. It took me years with a lot of help from my boys to go through everything. It was really hard in the beginning. There were a lot of items that brought back a lot of memories. 

In my next blog for "Home on Mondays", I'll share key learnings and tips on how to clear your childhood home. :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

Two Years Without Mom

It's been two years now since we lost our Mom. I got very sick when we lost her and I was practically immobilized from being productive for a year. I knew I needed to get going especially sunsetting our childhood home. I got help and had everything boxed. It was only after Mom's first year death anniversary, that I finally got moving and started sorting her things. 

One year later and I'm not done yet. I only realized that she had kept a lot of stuff in every nook and cranny of our home. Sorting her things is what helped me through the grief journey. I found a lot of mementos from my childhood, Miggy's childhood and my siblings (although not as many). I stayed the longest in our home (from birth) and it was really a surprise to find a lot of things that brought me joy as a child. 

We have since donated a lot of pre-loved home items and books to charities. Old outdated appliances were sold to the mambabakal and we used the proceeds to get help again to clear the back area of the house. I've only kept Mom's albums. There are more than 10 boxes! It will probably take time to scan the photos. Some of the albums are irreparable already, so I just removed the photos and placed them in safe storage boxes. 

My grief journey started in 2019 when Dr. Koo said Mom's heart was deteriorating. He advised against surgery and told us to just let her enjoy. Mom did and was gardening until the day before she passed. She left a beautiful garden and what she considered her treasures (essentially our childhood stuff and a gazillion photos!).

I hope to finish clearing our home before the end of the month, so I can focus on saving her plants and propagating what she left in her garden. I'm figuring out how to get the huge cacti that's still growing! We have since restored her plant stands and I've been busy re-potting her plants. I'm in awe that they're still alive! I feel closest to my Mom when I'm working on her plants :)

Love you Mom! Enjoy your bottomless Coca-Cola up there! Kisses to Dad, Mama Lola, Papa Lolo, Titay, Tito Ben, Tita Ming, Tito Tony and Tito Mom! 

#BeKind #StaySafe 

Sweltering

The heat has been sweltering the past few days and I know it will get worse. We all stay indoors most of the day and the cats usually sleep after eating breakfast.

At least it gets a bit windy before sunset and that's the time I do outdoor activities. The cats usually only wake up when I go out to water the plants. 

I was unstable yesterday, so I made up by being productive today. I finished sorting the boxes Sweetie lined up for me, watered the plants and organized the plant rack I transferred to the garden. 

A naughty caterpillar ate all the leaves of my calamansi plant, so I had to spray Neem oil across all the plants they love to eat. The calamansi plant should recover in a month or two. Sigh. After gardening I laundered some of Mom's estado. I hope to finish all of it in two weeks (a little a day).

Whew! Did a lot, so it's time for me to rest :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

The Ceramics Slowdown

I have honestly been procrastinating the past week. I've come to the point where I have to sort Mom's collection of ceramic decor. She has a lot and I know how much she valued her collection.

*Tip of the iceberg

It's not that I don't want to finish the task. It's just hard to decide what to keep and what to let go. I still remember when Mom unboxed her collection. She really loved each one that's why it's hard for me to let go of her things.

I know I cannot possibly keep everything and the only ceramics I have are either Yoda, Hello Kitty or my piggy bank collection. So, sorry Mom I'll just probably keep a few and let others appreciate your collection. Your angels will go to your grandchildren. I just need to figure out how to send them across the world.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Grief Journey Process: Clearing the Ancestral Home

The task of sorting and clearing one's ancestral home is gargantuam, especially if your family lived in it for more than 50 years. 

I knew the task would fall on my shoulders. I realized my Mom through the years pointed out which things were important. I'm not physically fit to do everyday by myself, so I did some research and asked help from our decluttering coach, Ally Canita. She helped us go through our things from our two homes when we went back from Singapore.

I knew that it didn't make sense to hold on to what my Mom left. Six months after she passed, I had the items in the house sorted and boxed. This was the same process we took when we decluttered out home. After that I took my sweet time sorting each box. 

To be honest I didn't touch my Mom's stuff from her bedroom for over a year since they were packed. I just couldn't. I had to come to terms that Mom was gone. It's good I didn't rush into things because I was in a better frame of mind when I started sorting through her bedroom items.

Here's the steps I took sorting :

1. Documents

2. Photo albums

3. Craft materials 

4. Clothes/shoes/linen

5. Outdoor back garage stuff (because I was alerted there may be a snake around)

6. Kitchen stuff

7. Plants

8. Furniture (last because there's a lot boxes on it)

#BeKind #StaySafe

My Grief Journey

It's been almost two years since we lost my Mom. I've never told anyone, but the grief of losing her started years before we did. It was in 2018 when I noticed the changes. She started becoming more forgetful and she became less and less interested in doing things. 

I brought her to doctors and they all said the same thing, "Let her enjoy, any surgery would just be very hard on her body". I thought it was unfair, but I understood the wisdom of the doctors. She did enjoy and was still doing some gardening under her last day. 

It was really hard for me. I had several cardiac episodes because of it. It took me a long time to get moving with the task of sorting through her things. The items I had boxed waited 18 months before I could work on it.

I didn't rush into it, but at some point I realized it was time to get moving. I have been very busy the past 3 months sorting her stuff. Good thing I got help from Ally Canita and her team to organize and box everything. 

Going through her things has been challenging. It's a LOT! It has helped me though because it helped me understand my Mom better. It's part of the healing process and I'm glad I have the privilege of being the one to sort her worldly belongings.

#BeKind #StaySafe