Saturday, September 26, 2009

Calm After the Storm

Earlier today I felt despair. It was the first time I felt that way. When I saw the shelf that held my TV and DVD player tumble down into the water I cried out, “Tulong! Tulong!” but no help came. I tried one last time to find my phones on my bed, but couldn't find it. I wanted to get my other laptop and document bag in the cabinet, but cabinets started to float around. When I saw my glass sink in the water I knew it was time to just let go.

I couldn't grasp the situation. I couldn't figure out how to deal with the calamity. I've experienced several floods already, but it was never this bad. I think the only thing that's dry in my basement are the ceiling lights. I had to borrow clothes from my niece because all my stuff were wet.

When I started to cry in the kitchen my Dad told me, “Why are you crying? Yan lang iiyak-iyak ka na. Umakyat ka na sa itaas at humiga ka na lang muna.” I had to stop crying because it's bad for my heart. I lay on my parents bed and worried myself sick over all the stuff that I lost and realized that I shouldn't feel that way because there are others who are in a worse situation. The rain was still pouring hard so I just prayed that the rain would stop.

Eventually the water subsided and I went back down. I wanted to see if my bag of documents and pink laptop survived. They were both wet. I also scrambled around to look for my engagement ring. I left it on my dresser when I took it off yesterday. I found the dresser still upright near half-way across the room. Most of the things on it were gone save for the rosary bracelet, watch and engagement ring. The ring was protected by the rosary bracelet.

Everything is gone. My TV, DVD player, CD collection, all my books, photo albums, all my wedding materials, shoes, clothes, bags etc., but the most heartbreaking is losing all the love letters and mementos I kept all these years.

They're gone and I guess I just have to let go. Save whatever I can save when morning comes and move forward and think about how I can help others who have gone through the same calamity.

Remember, God is good.