It was an early Sunday morning and I was in a daze (this was the week before I got admitted to the hospital) and when he asked the question I just went blank. Coz I never really thought about my death. I do worry about losing any of my love ones and I've only so far lost my Mama Lola and my favorite Tito and despite my heart condition, my own death never crossed my mind.
When I found myself gasping for breath hours after hauling all the stuff from the event I started thinking about it. I stopped myself though from thinking such horrid thoughts because I had to focus on getting some air in and hopefully get myself to sleep. It was a very painful experience and I thought that it was just going to pass.
It didn't, so I found myself asking my Mom via SMS (coz I could barely talk) to bring me to the hospital on Monday. It took awhile since all of my regular doctors were out of the country (hindi tama yun!) and I've never been admitted to the hospital coz I don't get sick (never had chicken pox, measles etc.) and I usually respond to meds anyway.
I admit I overworked myself last October, almost getting myself killed in the process since the doctor had to calm down my heart. I'm healthy now save for my usual leaky heart that needs attention soon. My good friend Honey told me earlier, "Sometimes God finds a way to make you stop, to force you to rest and then you realize that despite that everything just goes on."
And my other friend Jihan said, "Hoy di nabibili ang puso sa Glorietta!" Very true indeed. So before God boinks me on the head harder, I'm going to just sit down and listen to what He is trying to tell me.
There's something very important I'm going to do next week. Please pray for me.
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Oh BTW, please do watch "Laughs and Gasps" a benefit show by our blogger-magician-official-event-host Marcelle and Jay with Ms. Giselle Sanchez.November 22, 2008, Saturday
7:30 p.m.
Vibal Publishing Rooftop
G. Araneta Avenue
(near Sto. Domingo Church)
Just contact Marcelle for tickets.
I purposely never think of my death, although I'm more accepting of other's death. I used to wish to become a Greek goddess so I can become immortal. But that's kin of impossible so now I just want to become a vampire.
ReplyDeleteGet well soon, Ai! *hugz*
ReplyDeleteWhatever it is you're going to do, I hope it goes well. Take care always.
ReplyDeleteI tell all my patients, what are we driving ourselves crazy for? when they're obsessed about work, etc. We work because we want to ease into retirement comfortable and happy. But how can we do that, when in the course of work, we've overworked our bodies?
Learn to say no. Don't bite off more than what you can chew.