What I Learned About Saying No

I used to say yes to everything, especially for work. I just kept rolling and rolling until I used up all my energy and my well went dry. I did realize at some point that I had too much on my plate and it was sapping the life out of me. My attempts to push back were heard, but ignored. 

My doctors assessed me well. They knew I didn't like putting anyone down. I felt guilty whenever I turned down something and that was really bad for my well-being. The stress eventually bit me hard and I found myself in and out of the hospital for a whole year. 

I realized a lot of things when I was hospitalized several times. Being forced to rest without access to the internet also does wonders for your well-being. Here's a few things I learned: 

(1) The path to learning to say no starts with loving yourself. It was late already when I realized it. My body permanently said no to any activity that could stress me out. 

(2) Set your priorities straight because your decisions and activities can critically affect your future. I would have probably been in a better position medically if I took time to recover after my first pulmonary embolism in 2018. 

(3) Listen to your body and your doctors. Be your own spokesperson and speak up when you are unwell. I had to push for a second opinion because one doctor just kept dismissing my issue as severe asthma. I should have taken note of the doctor's name who laughed at me when I demanded a referral to see a new pulmo. I should have sent him the results of my scans. 

(4) Saying no doesn't mean you're letting people down. It means you are prioritizing yourself and your wellness. It also doesn't mean you are being selfish. 

(5) Surround yourself with people who will support you until you're well. 

It is a journey and learning to say no (without the guilt) takes a long time. Just take it one step at a time and you'll get to a place where you love yourself and have better balance with your life. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

The Right to Say No

Saying no is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I learned it the hard way last year when I melted away like a candle. I eventually had to take a break to rest and recover. 

I am a prolific multitasker. Redundant noh? Yes, that's how bad I am. I thrive when I'm busy. I'm perennially multitasking. I'm watching a YouTube video right now while blogging. Maybe I have two brains hahaha. But this is precisely why I got burnt out. I always have piles of things I need to do. Eventually I got tired and was recommended to take a break. 

In the last 14 years I only take breaks during Christmas. Normally I only use half of my VLs every year and then it gets carried over to the next year. I oftentimes get a notification from HR around November that I should take a break hahaha. Am I a workaholic? Perhaps I am, but I usually end work before sunset and I don't log-in until the next day. 

Today I had to say no. It was really hard for me and I felt bad. I shouldn't have felt bad. While browsing videos to watch I came across this video by celebrity host Boy Abunda. It was a good reminder for me that I have every right to say no. Watch the video here -

Do you find yourself getting stressed a lot? Perhaps you need to think about your priorities and whether you are committing to so many things. For me it came to a point where I was disappointed in myself because I felt I rendered myself unproductive. That's how you feel when the quality of your output is affected. I was so frustrated today because I shouldn't have felt bad about saying no. I'm proud of myself though because I was able to say no, I just need to work on reminding myself that I love myself and that it was for my own good. 

What about you? Do you struggle to say no?

#CB//204 #StuckAtHomeDay/234 #WFH139 #StayHome #BeKind