Be Kind also to Persons with Invisible Disabilities

I lost my greatest ally last year, my Mom. She understood perfectly that I wasn't functioning normally anymore. I didn't have to explain to her why I finally went home. She just knew and protected me as much as she could.

When you look at me, you won't think I have serious medical conditions. I guess that's God's gift to me. Let her look normal, but let's hide all her issues. I always get weird looks from guards whenever we park on PWD parking. Weirder looks when I give my PWD card at restaurants. At the clinic yesterday, the medtech didn't bother to ask me if I was okay while I was gasping for breath after being asked to lie down for an ultrasound. And the other medtech had to be told to help me move the foot stool so I could get up on the bed.

I'm a fighter. My pulmo rehab team have recommended for me to use a wheelchair whenever I'm out. I insist to walk because my legs still function. They are worried my heart will be strained with the effort. 

What people dont notice is I stop every 10-15 steps or I walk very slowly. Every 3 steps on stairs, I take a break. I also always have either Sweetie or Miggy assisting me. Yes, I look normal, but my lungs and heart are not. I could easily faint if I'm not careful. My doctor requires me to always have someone around whenever I putter around the garden.*

And that's why I keep mostly to myself and stay home. I don't want to bother others since they don't understand my medical condition. Only a handful of people do. I see friends in a similar plight raising awareness about invisible disabilities. Sadly, very few can really grasp it.

To have an idea if my circumstance, just think you're carrying a 30 kilogram backpack all the time. Can you imagine the weight? Now think you're carrying the heavy backpack up the viewing deck at Chocolate Hills. Can you feel the strain on your body? That's how I feel most of the time, even when I'm in bed. Can you still breathe? 

I've had to keep to myself. I avoid people who don't understand that I'm on a different path. My pace is different and I cannot possibly follow the norm. Since I lost Mom I had to learn to set boundaries to protect my wellbeing, my mind, my spirit, and what energy I have left. I'm grateful I have people around me who understand, provide guidance and prayers. 

So, please be kind also to people with Invisible disabilities.

*It's probably why our cats always hang out with me whenever I water the plants. They are watching over me.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Nebulizing at Home

I'm truly grateful I wasn't warded for the lung infection. It showed up in the x-ray. It's been causing back pain and I was afraid it might be another PE. My pulmo reassured me it's not since my oxygen saturation is normal. It goes down whenever I walk around, but not as bad as when you have a clot.

I was ordered to get a portable nebulizer. My doctor said I probably reached my limit to bad air caused by the construction beside us. The tarp they placed are rotten and throwing trash in our property. It doesn't help keep out the dust anymore. The construction folks don't care even though we complained so many times already to the HOA.

Anyway, nebulizing at home is much better than doing it at the hospital while warded. The equipment at the hospital is really noisy and cumbersome. I'm glad my doctor advised to get a portable device. I'm able to use it anywhere at home minus any cables. It's also very quiet so I can watch TV while using it.

I'm feeling a bit better, but need to make sure I take my antibiotics and do nebulization on time. I feel woozy after getting medicated, so no lakwatsa for the meantime.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Unwell

The past two days have been a struggle once again. I was dizzy all day yesterday. Today, my whole body hurt so I just slept most of the day with the stack of new books beside me.

I guess being asleep was better than encountering all the rage about the last real life family drama. All families have problems. It's best resolved privately. 

#BeKind #StaySafe